Feel Again
by LizLemonnumber2
Summary: (This is an AU Fan Fic) Part 1 - Chapters 1-37: After a bad break up, and the decision to never look back - a tragedy forces Ana and Christian together. Part 2 - Chapters 38 and beyond: Eight years later... how are Ana and Christian doing?
1. The Opportunity

************************ Edited **

**A/N 1 – Alright – here is another random story that has been percolating in my brain. It's just an idea, I am seeing if I want to keep it or dump it. I know I have 2 other stories still going - I am just way too ADD to stay consistent with one (or even two) stories at a time. Lol. I promise Save Me and YMURC are still going strong and I will get back to them. This is an AU Fan Fiction – hell, this may just be a short story after I am done with it. I am a woman of little plans…. Lol. **

**I don't own EL James's characters – but the storylines and the extra sass is all mine. Lol. **

**Feel Again **

**Chapter 1 – The opportunity **

**Christian **

**I'm not completely sure of where I am, or why Taylor has decided to drop me off here. **He didn't say much on the drive over. Taylor isn't a man of many words, but today he has been less wordy. Is "wordy" even a word? Fuck it, I am annoyed – today, "wordy" is a word. He dropped me off at some damn park, and informed me that my guest will be arriving shortly. What fucking guest?

I have never seen this damn park in my entire life, and I have no idea why I am here. It's fucking raining – why would I ever meet with somebody in the fucking rain. Fucking rain. I have never been involved with something this terribly thought out. I am going home. As I turn around, I hear a voice. A voice that has often made my blood boil, a voice that has caused at least one fight over all of this time. I hate him.

"Grey."

I slowly move backwards to find a tall, brunette asshole waiting for me under an awning. He's smiling at me, and I want to punch him. I turn to walk away and he yells my name again.

"Grey, don't walk away from me. I need to talk to you," he yells for me.

I shake my head, "I think you've said enough.… I'm done asshole."

He snorts and shakes his head, "Listen, I actually need to talk to you. Get your rich ass over here, I mean it." I continue walking and I can feel him getting angrier by the second. Good, he can get angry – I don't give a shit. "For fucks sake, Grey – get back here. I need to talk to you…. It's about Ana…."

I want to walk away. I want to go find Taylor. I want to get out of this damn park on a rainy day, but I can't. He brought up his one trump card. He brought up the one thing I still can't seem to shake. He wants to talk to me about Ana – fine, we can talk about Ana.

I turn around and make my way to his rain protected awning. "This was a really shitty idea Sloane," I snap, "A park on a rainy day…. Got anymore genius ideas?"

He snickers, "This is what it is. I'm not in the greatest of moods right now. I don't want to be having this conversation with you."

"I don't want to talk to you either…"

"But this has to happen eventually," he says, shaking his head, "So it will happen now."

What the hell is he talking about? "What do you want from me…. You and Ana were very clear about all of this. I am supposed to stay out and away while you two run off into the sunset…"

I feel the pain ooze through my chest. I don't like talking about this.

"You're getting a second chance," Sloane tells me blankly.

"What the fu…"

"You're getting a second chance," he repeats, shaking his head.

"You're leaving her?" This is the only possible conclusion that I could think of. What the fuck is he doing, why is he leaving Ana? I know from experience that this is the worst possible decision he could ever fucking make.

"Didn't you just have…" I spit out.

"It's not by choice," he snaps, interrupting my thought, "What kind of asshat would walk out on Ana Steele….?"

He looks up at me with knowing eyes and I want to beat him senseless. "That was…" I breathe, trying to get my words together.

"A mistake…" he nods, "I know. And you're getting a chance to right your wrongs. I'm leaving."

"Why are you leaving?" I ask him, "Sloane, why would you walk out on her."

"I told you, it's not a choice," he says, emotion bubbling up, "Listen, I just want to know if you're ready…"

"Ready for what?" I snap.

He takes in a deep breath, "To take my spot… Take back the spot that used to be yours…"

Is he actually saying what I think he is saying? Is he really lining me up to replace him? I don't understand what is happening.

"RC…." I take in a deep breath as I run a hand through my hair, "What is going on…. Are you in some kind of trouble?"

Obviously, RC Sloane has decided I don't exist and continues to ramble. No different than any other day. "I'm giving my life to you… you're getting everything. My wife, my kid…"

"RC?"

"Fucking take care of them, Grey," he says, tears bubbling up, "Look after them, love them. I know Elizabeth isn't yours, but could you please love her like she is…."

"Seriously, what is going on…?" I ask, finally pleading with him.

"She still loves you…." He gulps, staring at me, "She has loved you every single day. I've tried so hard to help her forget you…. I have tried to replace you. But it looks like the only person being replaced is me…."

"RC, Christ," I snap, "Tell me what the fuck is going on….?"

"She is going to be resistant," he continues, still acting like I'm not alive, "She's mad and bitter, and she hates you. If I remember correctly, after how I came into the picture, the feeling is mutual. But once you break her down… you'll get to how she is really feeling." He sighs deeply and shakes his head, "I never stood a chance… it was always you."

RC Sloane has never been this honest with me. Now, I am seeing a different side to him, a side that scares me.

"Fuck, RC – are you committing suicide?" I ask, "You still won't tell me what is happening…."

He snorts, tears pouring out of his eyes. "Do you actually think I would step away from her willingly? Trust me, I know how you think. Even though you two hate each other right now, I know she'd go back to you given the opportunity. She's that fucking in love with you…. It makes me sick."

If this wasn't so fucked up, I'd be smiling right about now. "For the last time…."

He stands up and clasps my shoulders. "You'll find out soon enough," he says, shaking his head, "Just promise me…. You'll look after both of them."

I nod, "I will…"

He takes in a deep breath and shakes his head. "Walk Elizabeth down the aisle for me?"

Fuck. I don't know what the hell is going on, but I feel really bad for the bastard right now. I nod, "Yeah, I will…"

He nods as he finally turns to walk away. "Where are you going?" I yell back at him.

He doesn't answer my question as he walks out of the pavilion and doesn't look back.

**"Christian."**

I snap up and look around my room. Did my alarm not go off?

"Christian, you need to get up," I finally make out Mia's voice from across the room.

"What the hell, Mia?" I ask, trying to find my alarm clock. 7:00 AM…. I am not supposed to wake for another hour. Fucking Mia.

"RC is dead…" she tells me, showing no emotion.

"Suicide?" I ask, seriously hoping that the bastard didn't kill himself.

"Christian," she chastises, "That's not funny. Car accident."

"I don't remember laughing," I tell her as I begin to get up, "Car accident…."

"A nasty pile up…. It was reported last night and Elliot and Ana's dad both got the call…"

Fuck, my dream was right. He really is dead. Ana is a widow. Their daughter is without…. Fuck…. Their daughter is without her Dad. I hated RC Sloane, but I'd never wish that on anybody.

"Where is she?" I ask as I feel a smile grace her features.

"Mom is sitting with her at the hospital."

Of course, no matter my relationship status, no matter the parade of women I have brought in and out of my apartment. No matter the fact that Ana got married and had a child since our breakup, no matter the shit we put each other through – Grace Grey will always care about Anastasia Steele.

"I'm on my way…."

"You are?" Mia asks, almost too happily.

I glare at her and she shakes her head. "Get out of here Mia…. I need to inform Mrs. Taylor that my sister is no longer invited inside my home."

She smirks, "Get over yourself…. And go see Ana!" She clapped her hands together and skipped out of my bedroom way too happily.

**This is what an anxiety attack feels like. **I didn't realize how terrified seeing her would make me feel. It didn't occur to me until I was in the car that this could be seen as insensitive. The ex-boyfriend is checking up on the widowed ex – it is a douche move.

I just have to see her. I don't care the status of our relationship, she's an old friend and I'll always love her. I hate that she is in pain – I loathe the thought. She will always mean the world to me, no matter what.

RC told me to comfort her. The man practically asked me to see her. He told me to comfort her, protect her. I received Sloane's permission to protect his family and move in on his wife, I am following orders of the deceased.

I turn the corner and I see Sloane's mother holding Elizabeth. Elizabeth is only six months old, and the striking image of Anastasia. Good for Elizabeth – Sloane was fucking ugly.

I'm being an asshole. Ryker Collin Sloane was not an ugly bastard. RC unfortunately was attractive, and he was Ana's first love. I knew from the moment that I saw her, I wanted her all to myself, and the only thing standing in my way was RC Sloane. I pursued her, going out of my way to pull her out of RC's grasp and she was putty in my hands.

I of course didn't realize how much she would change me. I didn't realize how much our relationship would make me a better man, how much she affected me. I took her for granted and it offered Sloane another opportunity to get her back. Fuck me, I was such a shithead.

As I turn the corner, I see her. Huddled next to my mother – eyes blood shot from crying. Ana is shaking her head, and my mother is patting her on the back. Upset and in pain, she is still perfect. I move toward them, and she looks up for a half a second.

She stops and stares, her beautiful blue eyes burning into me. My mother looks up a second later and her eyes practically bust out of her eye sockets.

Ana gets up from her seat and moves quickly to me, my mother following behind her. "Ana…." I try to say as she moves to me, "I'm so…."

"You prick," she snarls, "What the hell are you doing here?" I want to laugh at her – she has never been able to say the word "fuck" before, but this is obviously not the right time to reminisce.

"What?"

"Get out…. You don't belong here," she snaps.

"My mother is here," I say as she joins us.

She shakes her head at me and points for the door. "Get the fuck out." I smile and her face practically catches on fire. "Get out Christian…. Before I call the cops."

"I didn't do anything," I snap back.

"Christian, dear," Mom says calmly, "Please, this isn't the right time. Please leave."

Resigned, I turn to walk out. "I'm sorry for your loss," I call out. She shakes her head and I walk for the door.

_Well, that went well…._

**A/N2- Just a side note: I am not bringing RC back to continue to follow Christian (or Ana) around. That is way too Christmas Carole/Nicholas Sparks for me. **

**Alright guys…. Let me know what you think of this. Keep or dump. **


	2. A Tale of Two Hot Men

**A/N – So I know it's been a while – I have had a lot of irons in the fire lately, and I haven't had much inspiration for this story, but it has finally come to me. If you have questions about when my other chapters for my other stories (or this one) are coming – the answer is I have no idea. I am a very spontaneous updater so you never know when it is coming! Lol. **

**I don't own FSOG and please leave me some reviews! It helps me know where I am going (especially since this story is just a baby)! THANKS!**

**Also – I got the name of this story (Feel Again) from a One Republic Song. I thought it fit with the story really well… **

**Chapter 2 – A Tale of Two Hot Men **

**Ana**

** "Good Morning Seattle Washington…. Welcome to 103.3 The Zone, my name is RC Sloane and I am your captain of this radio ship this morning."**

"Jesus Sloane," Ann Marie laughs, "You're so ridiculous with the metaphors."

RC pulls back his head and laughs, "You know how much I love a good metaphor Ann Marie… now let's move this ship a long."

I love being able to sit back and watch RC go to work. He thrives when you get him next to a microphone, and I find his confidence completely sexy. I am along for the ride this morning. It is the fourth of July – we should be on our way to California by now, but RC scored a big interview with a Seattle legend. I don't remember which Seattle legend he is referring to, and I am not sure if I completely care. This little interview is why I was pulled into the Zone's offices on a national holiday, and I am not too invested in what will happen this morning. All I know is that as soon as the radio interview is over, my man and I are headed for Cali.

RC turns his head towards me and offers up his signature breath taking smile. I feel my heart leap into my chest, and I try my best to keep from squirming. He is beautiful, and all mine. Ann Marie turns to see where he is looking and scowls when she sees me. Ann Marie has never been discreet in her affections for my boyfriend, and watching her melt all over him is so revolting.

She whips her head back to my boyfriend and grabs his hand. "RC, you're so funny," she breathes as she bats her pretty eye lashes.

I take in a deep breath and try to calm my rising anger for her over the top flirting. Ann Marie is RC's type through and through and I can't help but be insecure. For a Radio DJ – RC is sexy. From his bulging biceps to his tattoos, the man reeks of hot primal, bad boy sex. On the other hand, his sweet baby face with his fraternity boy hair cut shows the side of him that I know – the sweet, loving, generous side.

Ann Marie is someone you'd picture him with – tattoos fill both of her arms and her understated and mellow bright pink hair forces your eyes immediately to her. On top of that, her tongue ring shows a wild side that I know I'll never be able to possess. She works with him every day, she fawns over him every day, and I have to step back and watch – it is aggravating.

I am not RC's type – at all. My blue sundress and my pinned up brown hair makes me look more like a librarian on vacation then a girlfriend of a radio DJ. I don't have any tattoos, only my ears are pierced, and I have nothing driving me to die my hair pink or purple. I've only had one other boyfriend, it lasted a week, and I am still very much a virgin.

I hate being twenty four and a virgin, I hate it. It is the most frustrating feeling in the world – I want to have sex, but I have never been able to drum up the courage to go through with it. RC was in shock when I told him – _"how could anyone be as beautiful as you and still be a virgin." _I smiled at the sentiment, but that didn't change the fact that I've never had sex. RC has been a gentleman ever since I dropped that little piece of information on his lap, and has taken things slow for my benefit.

Tonight, that is going to change. After RC gives this interview, and we head to the beach – we're going to have sex. I am excited, I love Sloane, but I am terrified. Not only is the sexual act of mating with my steady boyfriend intimidating beyond measure, RC has a penis piercing. What the hell am I supposed to do with a penis piercing?

"I'd just like to give a little shout out….," I hear RC's voice say, breaking me from my thoughts, "To my sweet and beautiful girlfriend Ana…. It is July 4th and we're supposed to be on our way to the beach, but she is here with me and I am a lucky son of a bitch."

I smile and his responding smile back to me turns me into a pile mush. He really is beautiful.

"You are a lucky son of a bitch," the other DJ says from the side, "If you weren't together, I'd totally hit that."

I giggle as RC smacks him on the back of the head, "Stay away from my girl you Neanderthal."

"Mr. Grey," I hear a producer behind me, "The DJs are almost ready for you…"

I turn around, and am immediately shocked to find Christian Grey standing behind me. I didn't realize Sloane's interview would be with him – I guess I wasn't listening when he told me. Christ on a cracker, Christian Grey is gorgeous. Gorgeous isn't quite the right word – he is dangerously sexy. He towers above me at what must be past six feet, and his copper hair is spread lazily across his head. His grey three piece suit seems too formal for a setting like a radio station, but his current state of dress is probably due to the empire he will run once he leaves these walls. He is a mogul, an enigma around our city, and a known womanizer.

"I'd let him womanize me any day," I hear a female producer say, as if she was reading my thoughts.

Christian completely ignores the producer salivating over him and saunters over to me. When we are a foot away from each other, he slowly grabs my hand and lightly kisses it. "What is a pretty girl like you doing in a radio station on the fourth of July?"

I snort, "Wow…. What a line."

I hear the other producers and sound booth technicians' laugh at my comment and his smile somehow manages to widen.

"My apologies, I didn't realize who I was dealing with…," he says, a mischievous smile moving across his face, "What's your name?"

"Mr. Grey, its time," a new producer says to him as he nods. He turns around without another word and moves quickly into the DJ Booth. Fuck me (and I normally don't cuss), if I was ice – I'd be in a puddle on the floor.

**Sloane makes his introductions and Christian sits comfortably next to him in the booth. **Ann Marie is all over both men like a rash and I can't help the eye roll that her actions elicit. Sloane was pretty excited about this interview, getting someone as high profile as Christian Grey will impress his boss immensely.

"So what is this charity called Mr. Grey."

"Coping together, Sloane, I am only here because of my mother – she wanted me to drum up advertisement for the foundation, and assumed I would be the perfect spokesperson," Christian tells him, "My mother is trying something different this year, and is opening invites to the general public."

"If you can afford the ticket," Sloane counters as Christian nods.

"That is also why I am here to encourage donations along with ticket sales…"

"Oh Christian, you are the perfect spokesperson," Ann Marie says, smiling like a horny sleaze ball.

Sloane laughs, "So the women want to know Grey – are you bringing a lucky lady to this event? We all know you're Seattle's most wanted dick."

Christian looks insulted by his honesty, but instantly laughs off any uncomfortable feelings. "Well nobody yet… but I may start with that girl in the technician booth…" he says, turning his gaze to me.

I feel myself get instantly uneasy, and I see Sloane's jaw harden. "Watch your hands Grey," Sloane snaps, "That one is mine."

Other people would feel embarrassed after a comment like that… apparently Christian Grey is not that person.

"That one is yours? Wow, that is very caveman of you Sloaney. Most women have a name."

The tone shifts in the room, and RC is immediately on the attack. "Anastasia is my girlfriend and you'd be smart to keep your man whoring dick away from her…"

"So much cussing – boys, calm down," Ann Marie warns.

"Poor girl, stuck all day in the DJ booth while watching "Tattoo Barbie" fawn all over her boyfriend, that doesn't seem right to me Sloane. Don't you even have a segment called "Don't leave your girlfriend unattended.""

One of the producers is ready to cut off the banter, but the director stops them. Obviously, this pissing contest is amusing to everyone except for me. I am completely horrified.

"Alright, just because you're richer then God and have a list of women longer then Santa's Christmas list doesn't give you the right to insult me and hit on my girlfriend," RC snaps, "I thought you were here to support your charity, and not piss me off…"

"I didn't realize I'd run into a beautiful woman under the hands of an incapable man," Christian snaps back, "Go donate to Coping Together and have a nice day."

He throws down his headphones and makes a be-line for me. He slips me his card and smiles as it makes it into my fingers, "Call me."

**Saying RC is angry when we get on our plane is a freaking understatement. **He hasn't stopped steaming from the moment we left the radio station, and I don't know what it is going to take to calm him down. Well – I know what it will take, but I don't really want to lose my virginity thirty thousand feet in the air.

"Baby, he's just a playboy asshole, don't let him get to you."

"But he just handed you his card," he snaps, "Like you'd prance off to do whatever he wanted you to do in that moment… it was disgusting. I am so sorry you were in the middle of all that – I don't know what happened."

"It is fine," I say, trying to play off what their pissing contest did to me. In all honesty, I have been somewhat embarrassed and completely wet since I left the radio station. I have never had too hot men fight over me before and it did things to me – things RC will benefit from later.

There is no denying it, Christian Grey is hot. Those grey eyes bearing into my soul as he handed me his business card was so incredibly hot. What I wouldn't give to see what was behind that suit.

"I can't help it," RC says, interrupting my errant thoughts and leaving me a kiss on the cheek, "I'm protective of my girl. I hate the thought of him looking at you like that."

I smile and nuzzle into his neck as a distraction technique. "You're cute."

"You're cute too…. I am ready for our vacation."

"Me too," I beam as I kiss him again, "A weekend with you on a beach all to myself."

"Well…" he says softly, "My parents will be there…. But we have the guest house."

I snort, "I think I can live with that… your parents are cool."

He takes in a deep breath and I feel the tone change. I thought I distracted him from his altercation with Christian Grey just fine.

"Ana…" he struggles to get out, "Does Ann Marie's flirting with me bother you? I don't really notice it, but after he mentioned it."

He makes sure to refer to Christian like he is a dirty word. "No…. Ann Marie doesn't bother me."

RC stares into my eyes, and I know what he is doing. "Ana…"

I sigh, "Fine she bothers me."

"Why didn't you say something?" he asks, exasperated.

"Because…. I didn't want to be THAT girl," I tell him, "I didn't want to seem like a catty biotch."

He snorts, "You really have trouble cussing out loud. Just say it Ana – you didn't want to be a catty BITCH."

I can feel my eyes roll. "I didn't want to be a catty bitch."

"There you go," he snorts, "Good girl…. I'll take care of Ann Marie. Don't worry honey. I love you always."

**I close my robe, and try to control my breathing. **The air hits me as I move toward the beach. I need the water, I need the air, and I need to get myself calm.

I can't believe that happened. I can't believe I allowed him to creep through like this. I need a minute to myself.

"Ana, "RC yells after me, "Honey… wait…. Did I hurt you?" RC is at my side in a second, and I don't know how I am going to explain this freak out to him.

"No RC, I'm fine…" I tell him as I take in a deep breath, "That was just overwhelming."

He snorts, "Yeah, I don't think I've ever made a girl come that loudly before… You sure I didn't hurt you…?"

I nod adamantly and crush my teeth into my bottom lip, "You didn't hurt me… I'm fine."

"I know the piercing was a little intimidating…"

It is my turn to snort; the piercing wasn't intimidating once it was inside me. "That part was good," I say with a smile, "Really Sloane, I'm fine… I just need a second and…. We'll go again."

This does the trick with my boyfriend and he immediately kisses me on the cheek. "Alright… come in when you're ready. I'll promise not to freak you out this time…"

He walks off and I turn to watch him walk away. Once he is out of eye shot, I vocally express everything running through my head.

"Don't worry; I was just picturing Christian Grey driving into me… not you…. That's all that freaked me out. I'm sure it won't happen again."

I wasn't so sure of that promise, but I decided to lie to myself anyway.


	3. I hate to see you leave, but I love

**A/N – So when you don't update a story for a month, you tend to forget things. Some of you called me out on the fact that I said Ana dated Christian before RC, and in chapter 2 – I said the opposite. Sorry about the mix up – I am keeping the timeline RC, Christian, and then RC and I have changed this on chapter one. Thanks for letting me know, even authors are human. **

**I don't own FSOG! Please excuse the editing- I may have had a couple of glasses of wine before I edited this. **

**Chapter 3 – I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away**

**Ana **

** After a weekend and a week and another weekend with my love, it is finally time to head back to work. **I haven't taken that much time off from work since I started at SIP, and it was good for me to relax with RC for an entire week. I can be quite the wet blanket most the time, and I need to give myself the opportunity to let loose every so often. I started work at Seattle Independent Publishing several months ago and I haven't stopped working since. When I start something I'm very passionate about, it is difficult for me to think about anything else.

"God," Sloane groans in my ear, "I don't want to let you walk through those doors. I'm going to miss my little nympho."

I smack him as he smirks. "I am not a nympho."

"Um…" he says shaking his head, "After the first time – you were pretty insatiable."

I feel myself getting red and shake off the errant feelings creeping forward. "Well… it's time for me to get to work. Bye baby."

He snickers, "Bye Ana…. One of these days, I am going to pull out that wild side… the wild side that fucked me four times in one night."

Before I faint out of embarrassment, I give him one last parting kiss. "Bye Sloane, I'll see you tonight."

"Bye Ana," he says as I walk away, "I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away."

** I have nothing, but non-stop work as soon as I enter the building. **After being gone for a week, I have a lot to catch up on. On top of my work, Christopher Parrish, my boss – an editor in the fiction department, unexpectedly took his vacation time this week leaving me as interim editor in his absence. Before I can even take a moment to breath – it is already lunch time.

"Ana," I hear from behind me.

I turn around and Sam, another editor in our department and a man I work very close to, is standing behind me. "Hey Sam…"

"Since Chris is gone, I am going to need you to sit in on this lunch meeting," he tells me as he pulls me forward.

I quickly grab my tablet and move with him. "No problem."

"And this one is a doosey," he says with a snort, "Chris is going to be mad he missed this."

"Why?" I ask as he swings open the conference room door. Unfortunately for me, the answer to my question is seated at the front, smiling at me like the over confident idiot that he is.

"I want to apologize, Mr. Grey," Sam says as he escorts me forward, "Mr. Parrish is out on vacation so Miss Steele will be stepping in today."

"Perfect," Christian says as he extends a hand for me, "Miss Steele, it is lovely to meet you. As the future owner of Seattle Independent Publishing – it is always a joy to meet the people who make SIP work."

"Future owner?" I cough out.

Sam nods, "Yes. It hasn't been announced yet, but Mr. Grey purchased SIP and will soon be the owner."

I feel my stomach turn into knots as a larger, more mischievous smile crosses Christian's face.

"Yes, Miss Steele. I am looking forward to getting to know you much better."

**I somehow manage to make it through the meeting without having to run away and hide in a corner. **Beginning three weeks from now, Christian Grey will be my boss – the thought alone makes me squirm. After the meeting wraps, I refuse to stand around and schmooze my new boss and immediately make a be-line for my desk. Several of the other assistants come and speak to me about the meeting, but I can't say anything, I am sworn to secrecy for three weeks.

When I finally feel like I have recovered, I sense his presence behind me. "… Anastasia."

I whip around, and try not to cower to his beautiful smile and male model like build. "Christian."

"Is everything alright?" he asks, "I felt an air of unease coming from your direction."

I snort, "You insulted my boyfriend, came onto me in front of all of Seattle, and you expect me to just feel normal about all of this."

He nods, "Oh, so you're still upset about what happened."

"Of course I am still upset," I snap at him.

He raises an eyebrow, "You seem really angry…. Almost too angry…. Almost like you're angry about something else on top of what happened at the radio station."

_It is true, quit denying it. You know exactly what you're mad about…. And it has nothing to do with how much he pissed off RC. _I swat my inner dialogue away and focus on getting rid of my future boss.

"Nope, I'm just mad about what happened…. And that you are now my boss."

He shrugs, "I've never tried publishing before… I thought I'd dabble in it."

His over-confident, jackassery bullshit is driving me nuts and I want him out of my cubicle pronto. I turn to look around at other cubicles, and I suddenly come to the startling realization that everyone is watching us. I need to get him out of here.

"Do you want to go to lunch with me?" he asks out of the blue.

"What the…."

"Maybe if I take you to lunch, I can have ample opportunity to apologize for my actions, and possibly make up for any other crazy reasons as to why you hate me…." He says as he grabs my purse for me, "Come on Ana… it is on me."

"This is completely inappropriate. You're going to be my boss and I have a boyf…"

"It is lunch," he interrupts me, "You can discuss how much you hate me and how inappropriate you find my actions there…"

As we walk out the doors of SIP, I feel everyone's eyes plastered on me. The receptionist Clare mouths "_Good luck_" as I am exiting the front doors with Christian. I shake my head and shudder, _what have I gotten myself into?_

**Christian escorted me to a nearby pub and I immediately hid behind my menu as a means to buffer my conversation with Mr. Mogul. **He quickly orders us drinks, and I have no idea what to say. He intimidates me, and makes me angry, and pushes me to the edge all at the same time. I don't know how to act around him.

"Listen," he says as the waiter walks away, "I'm sorry if I insulted you in any way."

"Are you sorry?"

He snorts, "You may think me insulting your boyfriend is me insulting you…. I had every intention on insulting RC, but you are a different story."

"That doesn't make any sense…. What did my boyfriend do to you?"

He sighs, "Can I be 100% honest with you?"

"I don't think you know how to be any other way, Mr. Grey," I counter back.

"I find you fascinating…."

"Fascinating? Like, put her up in a cage and show her off to paying customers fascinating?" I ask as his eyes immediately darken. _Oh shit, what is he thinking?_ I was talking about zoo animals, not whatever he has on his mind.

"Let's change my word choice before I get myself in trouble," he says, licking his lips, "I think the Universe wants us together."

"The Universe wants us together," I repeat.

"I was immediately drawn to you at the radio station, and then it turns out I am purchasing your place of work – we're supposed to be together."

"In the biblical sense…. I have a boyfriend."

He shrugs, "The Universe is the universe."

"You're being a pain the ass right now."

He smirks, "I think that smart mouth might make you even sexier."

"You know what," I say as I grab my purse, "Forget the Universe – you're being inappropriate. I think you just like to start shiz because you are a bored billionaire who is done banging his last bimbo."

"Shiz?"

"Shut up," I snap at him, "I hate you." As I get up to leave, he grabs at my arm.

"There is an opening for an editor position and from what I have heard; you will be perfect for the position. At the very least, sit down and let me talk to you about the position," he tells me, "I happen to like you – you are intelligent, witty, and a fucking knock out. I won't apologize for coming on to you, but at least sit down and take a career opportunity that will be perfect for you."

With those words, I take a seat and listen to what Christian has to say.

**An hour into our conversation, I finally feel relaxed with him. **

"Alright, I'm done with talking about me," Christian says as he takes a swig of his vodka tonic, "I want to talk more about you."

"I'm sorry – I can't beat millionaire by twenty one, womanizer extraordinaire."

He shakes his head, "I'm not a womanizer…"

Bullshit. I look outside and point to the window, "Oh what is that –pigs flying?"

He snorts, "Alright smart ass – let's move on to you."

"Fine," I say, trying to think past the three glasses of wine I have already had, "I grew up in Montesano Washington, I have two loving parents, I went to WSU in Vancouver, and I was an English major… I live with my best friend Kate in apartment in the Pikes Place District."

"How did you meet Sloane?" he asks, his jaw tightening.

"We had similar friends in college. We're two very different people, but from the moment we met, the attraction was electric…."

"I know the feeling," he mutters to himself.

What the…? I cough and shake my head. "Work, Christian, let's talk more about work."

He nods, "You impressed a lot of people at SIP. That is why myself and others are recommending you for editor."

"Really?"

"Really," he nods.

"Wow. Thank you," I say meekly, fiddling with my fingers.

He grabs my hands and smiles, "Listen, I'm sorry about coming on too strong – that's a personality defect of mine I guess, but I like you, and if we are going to be working together – I want us to be good. I want us to be friends…. Would that be ok? Or will RC throw a fit."

I take in a deep breath, "As long as you quit acting like a douche bag, we might be able to have a friendship."

He nods and smiles and I feel myself melt to the floor. "All right, I think I can handle that."

**When I get to my apartment, RC is already in the living room and talking to Kate. **I notice a bouquet of flowerson the sink, and I can't help but smile.

"Hey beautiful," RC says as he wraps me in his arms, "Have a good first day back?"

I nod, "It is not official yet, but they are going to make me an editor."

RC and Kate's faces both light up at my news. "Baby that's incredible," RC says as he swings me in his arms.

"I know you'd be running that place in no time Steele," Kate says as she joins us, "When and how did you find out?"

"Ummmm," I stutter, "Just a… Sam told me that we were losing an editor, and that I would be taking the position."

"Wow, that's awesome," RC says as he leans over to lightly kiss me, "I'm so proud of you."

As we eat and chat - I can't quit my brain from moving and thinking. I really wonder why I couldn't tell RC what actually happened between me and Christian, and I am still unsure of why Christian Grey affects me like he does. I have a strong feeling that I am not ready to accept whatever any of those answers may be.

**A/N- As of right now, my plan is to progress in time just a tad. Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a review!**


	4. When Pigs Fly (Part 1)

**A/N – I don't own FSOG**

**Chapter 4 – When Pigs Fly (Part One) **

**Ana **

** As I pry my eyes open, feelings of soreness move throughout my body. **I sit up and look around the apartment that I have somehow stumbled into, and I try to remember how I possibly made it into this foreign place of residence. A light breeze falls through the room and I feel it through my bones. I look down and feel a sudden surge of anxiety.

"Oh my god, I'm naked," I hiss as I turn to the body next to me. My heart drops and I am immediately seized with panic. I bolt from bed and begin scattering across the room to find my clothes.

"Woah…" he says as he sits up, "You ok?"

I nod, trying to cover myself with the clothes that I've found on the floor. "Mmmmhmmmm," I say, nodding uncomfortably.

"Ana…." Christian says as he sits up, exposing more of his body in the process, "Are you really going home right now? Do you have a home to go home to?"

Crap, he has a point. "I'll…. Go get my stuff and find a new place to live."

He snickers, "Ana…. There is no point in rushing home. Just stay here with me and sleep. I'll make you breakfast and coffee…"

"You make breakfast?"

"My housekeeper will make us breakfast… I think he deserves to sweat, don't you?"

I nod_, he has a good point_. "Fine, I'll stay."

**48 Hours Earlier **

** My last week as an assistant flew by and before I have any time to process, I am walking into SIP as a newly hired Editor. **I decided to come in a little early because I know my boss Chris will be here, and he'll have plenty of questions. He is without an assistant after all, and he'll want to know why this change happened so quickly. When I enter the front doors, I see Chris and Christian talking next to my old cubicle.

"Good Morning gentlemen," I say as I move past them.

"Ana," Chris says to me, "Mr. Grey, if you don't mind – can I talk to my former assistant?"

Christian gives him a curt nod and I follow Chris into his office. Chris isn't all that much older than Christian, and he is also quite attractive, but he really has nothing on Christian Grey's GQ Model good looks. Chris closes the door and shakes his head.

"Something about this promotion seems fishy."

I feel my stomach sink. "Oh…. Am I not…"

"No Ana," Chris interrupts me, "You are perfect for the job…. Don't think I doubt your abilities, but this seems weird…. Why is Christian Grey so invested in you? He would never just show up on an employee's first day… I don't care what company he has most recently purchased."

I shake my head, "I don't know Chris."

He sighs and smiles, "Just be careful…. And congratulations."

**Christian escorts me to my office, and even helps me unpack. **This is weird. Chris is right – CEO Billionaire, Womanizing Christian Grey wouldn't do something like this. I doubt he ever spends much alone time with a women he isn't planning to bang. After several minutes of silence, Christian finally speaks.

"I need to go back to work, but I want to have lunch with you today, Ana…. I hope that is all right?"

I nod, unsure of what to say, "Sure."

He leans over for a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll pick you up at 12:30… I can't wait to see you then Miss Steele."

**My first morning as an editor flew by quickly and before I knew it, Christian Grey was outside my office waiting for me. **I felt eyes on me as I grabbed my purse and moved quickly toward the exit doors. Gossip must have spread throughout the building very fast because Clare gave me a knowing smile as I exited the front doors and Chris's text only said _"Be Careful."_

His SUV is parked out front, and his driver jumps out to open the doors when I approach. I easily pull myself in and move next to Christian in the back seat. He looks as good as he did this morning, wearing a dark suit with his copper hair perfectly quaffed. I look away as a defense mechanism against his gorgeous features and powerful magnetism.

He grabs my hand and kisses it gently. "How has your first day been thus far?"

"Fine," I say with a nod, "How has your day been?"

He smirks, "It is good now…"

"Christian I don't understand…" I snap at him, "Why are you so interested in me? Why did you come help me unpack my office? Why do you care?"

"I told you, I find you fascinating."

"I don't understand what that means," I tell him, "You keep saying that…"

"I want to be friends with you because I like you," he spits out, "I can't explain it. I like you and I have enjoyed the time I've spent with you."

I am stunned, we have spent a limited time together and all of a sudden he likes me? "Christian," I say, unsure of how to approach this, "I have a boyfriend…. You aren't going to get far with me."

He snorts, "Is that all you think I am?"

"Yes," I tell him frankly, "Before I met you at the Radio Station…. That's all I knew about you. Christian Grey – CEO, Playboy…."

"I am also an excellent piano player, and I have a boat."

"I know about the boat… you took that French Model on it last month," I retort.

"Enough," he says, waving his hands, "I get it. You think you know, but you really don't know that much about me, so I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to get to know me better. I am not as bad as you think I am. I really want us to get to know each other better."

I sigh, "Fine, but I am scowling the entire time."

Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I see him smile. "Whatever you say Miss Steele."

**"So," I say, swallowing the rest of my wine as I speak, "You're a big Mamma's boy."**

"Jesus," he breathes, "I'm not a mamma's boy."

"Then explain to me why you're escorting her to a function tonight…. And tomorrow," I ask.

"My Dad is sick with the flu, and I don't want her to be alone."

I take in a deep over dramatic sigh, "I have always wanted to find a legitimate, all American, Mama's boy."

He is surprisingly laughing despite my incessant teasing. "Stop."

"You were helping your mother with foundation donations… remember that?" I point out.

"It's a FAMILY charity. Family," he emphasizes, "You are out of control - I can't take you anywhere."

We both laugh as he leans forward to grab my hands. My heart stops at the contact and it takes me a second before I am able to breathe properly. He rubs his thumb over my knuckles and I immediately move my hands out of his grasp.

"What about your family?" he asks, eyes bearing into my soul.

"I'm not a mama's boy…" I whisper.

He laughs hoarsely, obviously as affected by the contact as I was. "Any siblings?"

"A Step Sister," I cough out, "What about you?"

"An older brother and a younger sister…"

I nod, "Yeah, I actually know your older brother."

His eye brows perk up, "Really?"

"Well, I don't know him," I tell him, "My roommate Kate hooked up with him our first week in Seattle… and I met him on his way out the next morning."

"Ah," he says with a laugh, "Sounds like my brother."

My cell phone rings and I suddenly feel a sense of panic when I see Chris's name come up on my caller ID.

"Hello…."

"Ana…. It is two o clock – where the hell are you?"

"Shit," I hiss, "Sorry Chris – I am on my way right now," I tell him frantically.

Christian immediately pushes across the table and grabs the phone out of my hands.

"Mr. Parrish, if I want to keep Anastasia out on a two hour lunch break, I can keep Anastasia out on a two hour lunch break. So you don't need to harass her – I'll have her back in plenty of time for work. In fact, I am taking her out for the rest of the day. Good bye."

He hangs up on Chris and I cannot help my surprise. "Where are you taking me for the rest of the day?" I ask as he helps me up from my chair.

He smirks, "You'll see…."

**"Why are we at the Seattle Public Library?" I ask as he pulls me into the front doors, his security detail in tow. **

"I've never been…" he says honestly.

"Well no crap," I joke as we walk through the stacks.

"Do you ever cuss?" he asks, completely mocking me, "Unless prompted by your boss?"

"No," I tell him, "Cursing is for people with a lack of vocabulary."

He nods, "I don't have a lack of vocabulary."

"Well then you shouldn't curse…. I bet your mother doesn't like it."

He laughs, "You're right – she hates it."

We spent the next few hours perusing for books and I gave Christian every kind of recommendation I could possibly find. We spent our time searching for books and playing hide and go seek like twelve year olds. As we continued to look and play around, people began to recognize Christian so we decided it was time to leave.

Being new to Seattle, I informed Christian that I've never been to the Space Needle so that was our next stop. It was nice having a relaxing afternoon just to hang out with Christian Grey. We chatted, and walked, and enjoyed each other's company for the afternoon. I wondered idly to myself if Christian has ever hung out with anyone in this way before. He seems to be always so busy and focused; I wondered what he did for fun – besides treat women like crap. I also wondered if Christian has ever taken this much time out of work before, his cell phone hasn't rung once.

"Don't you have a job to get back to?" I ask him as we head back down to the lowest level.

He shrugs, "Ana, I'm the boss… I can do whatever the hell I want."

I smirk and grab his hand. "Must be nice."

He grins at me, "Oh, it is good to be me…"

**Once Christian dropped me back off to my apartment, life went back to normal - like the last few hours with Christian never happened. **When I got to my apartment, RC already had a spaghetti dinner ready for us in celebration of my new job. For being a tough guy with tattoos, RC Sloane was surprisingly domesticated. Kate was there too with a Chanel shopping bag in her hand.

"What is this?" I ask as she hugs me.

"Oh, just a gift from the Kavanaghs," she says with a giggle as I open the shopping bag.

"Holy shit, Kate," I say as I pull out my new black Chanel bag, "This is amazing." The black quilted bag with a golden strap will probably be the most expensive thing I will ever own.

"Wow," RC laughs, "Buy Ana Chanel and that's what makes her cuss."

I throw my arms around Kate's neck and laugh, "Thanks Kate. You really are the best friend a girl could ever have…"

"It's my pleasure. You're like a sister to me, and I get excited when good things happen to members of my family."

I happily leave Kate's embrace and wrap my arms around my man. "Did you have a good day at work, dear?" he snickers into my neck.

"Yes, I did," I giggle as I kiss his neck, "And after dinner – I plan on showing you how good of a day I had…"

He kisses me deeply, and I laugh when I see Kate place her hands over her eyes. "You two are gross," she laughs as I finally sit down to eat.

**"All right baby," Sloane says from my bedroom, "I want to see it."**

Sloane's "happy first day of work present" is much raunchier then Kate's first day of work present – by a far margin. I look ridiculous in black lace bra and thong, silk stalkings, and a matching garter belt. I would never wear anything like this ever… what was Sloane thinking?

"Ana, don't over think this – I bet you look incredible," I hear him from outside my door. Never mind, I know exactly what he was thinking.

"I feel ridiculous," I tell him.

He snorts, "Ana, I highly doubt you look ridiculous. I am dying to see you baby…"

I take in a deep breath and find any ounce of courage remaining inside me. I open the door, and walk out into my bedroom. Sloane's eyes are quickly plastered to my body, and a salacious smile spreads across his lips.

"Yeah… you don't look ridiculous," he says as he saunters over to me, "In fact - I would really like to show you how good you look."

He very gently leans me back on the bed, and my lips meet his. All it takes is a moan from his soft lips, and I am instantly lost.

**Day Two started with a warning from Parrish – "Ana, I'm not telling you how to live your life, but just be careful."**

"Why do I need to be careful?"

He sighs, "You're young and beautiful and naïve and a hard worker – I would hate for this company to lose a hard worker because the young and beautiful side of you got in the way."

"Are you hitting on me Parrish?" I ask as he shakes his head.

"You know what I mean…. Just be careful, alright? You're like my little lost sister that I need to help find her place in the world."

"That's sweet Parrish," I say as I find my stress ball on my desk. I chunk it at his face and he flinches. "Now get out of my office – I need to work."

Instead of taking me out of the office for several hours, Christian brought me lunch today so I could eat with him while I worked. We continued on with our conversations like we did yesterday and at 1PM; he promptly left to go back to Grey House. Before he left, I felt something, something in his eyes that I couldn't exactly read. Like he wanted to stay with me, but he couldn't stay and he couldn't express how he felt. At least I hope that's what I read; I'd hate to be that delusional naïve idiot that Parrish described earlier.

"Ana…" I hear Christian say as he reappears at my door.

"Yes, Christian," I say back, surprised by his presence.

"I just wanted to say… you look beautiful today."

I can't help but smile because I know he is lying through his teeth. There is a coffee stain the size of Texas still present on my shirt.

"Thank you Christian."

**As I find my way back home, I get a phone call from my Step-Sister, Evelyn. **

"Hey Evy… whats up?" I answer my phone as I climb the stairs to my apartment. My step sister is three weeks younger than me, and our parents married our Sophomore year in high school. We hated each other way back when, and would fight constantly. We only recently have become close and on occasion we hang in the same circles.

"I am telling what I am about to tell you because I am your sister and I love you dearly…" she begins.

"This doesn't sound good," I say as I open my apartment door. Kate and Sloane are both seated in the living room when I enter. They're both staring at me, seeming to monitor my movements.

"I found out that your boyfriend and Kate slept together …"

I whip my head around and Sloane gets up from the couch. "What?" I snap.

"It was before you and Sloane ever got together, but it was repeated and numerous hook ups over several months."

Sloane moves toward me, but I smack him away. "What are you saying Evy?"

"Sloane didn't cheat on you… but basically – your best friend is the slut I've always thought she was…"

"He wasn't honest with me," I hiss as I push Sloane away.

"I'm so sorry Ana. I probably should have let Sloane tell you, but if he hasn't told all of this to you at this point…."

"Thank you Evelyn," I say as I stare into the eyes of two people I thought I trusted, "I'll take it from here…."

**A/N2 – Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!**


	5. When Pigs Fly (Part 2)

**A/N – I don't own FSOG **

**Chapter 5 – When Pigs Fly (Part Two)**

**Ana**

** As soon as I hang up the phone, Sloane takes a step over to me. **"Stop," I tell him, holding out my hand. The pain in his eyes would have broken my heart if he hadn't lied to me for so long.

"Evelyn is dating the guy who saw this all go down with Sloane and I," Kate clarifies, "I knew it would be a matter of time before he told her." I scoff and Sloane tries to move toward me again. I brush him off and move to the side.

"Ana, don't blame him," Kate says, moving toward us, "I'm the one who told Sloane to lie. I'm the one who made him lie to you."

"Why?" I snap at her.

She snorts, "Do you know what it is like to be friends with you – Ms. Perfect and has her life together? It's impossible, always trying to live up to you. Then you find Sloane and he actually loves you and there is this one little secret that could keep you from happiness – I couldn't do that to you. So I had Sloane lie, because I love you."

"That's garbage," I snap at her, "You should have told me the truth."

I storm off to my room and begin to pull out a suitcase. "Where are you going?" Sloane asks as I start tossing clothes.

"Anywhere but here," I yell at him.

"Ana, please baby, stop this," he pleads as I continue to pack, "Don't leave. Come over to my apartment and we'll sort this out."

I'm so angry, I can barely see straight. I know even if I had a sane frame of mind, I still wouldn't want to sort this out with him. My boyfriend, who I gave my v-card to, had sex with my best friend and lied to me about it. I don't care if Kate's insecurities got in the way of him telling me the truth – he should have loved me enough to tell me. Suddenly, a disgusting thought hits me.

"How many times have you two been here by yourselves? Have you been doing each other the entire time?" I snap at Sloane.

"Absolutely not," Sloane tells me, "Kate wanted to…"

"KATE WANTED TO?" I scream at him as I stomp back into the living room, "WHAT THE FUCK KATE?"

"Fine, I fucked up. Do you want to punch me? I already feel like shit Ana…. I'm a shitty friend, what else do you want from me?"

"Why would you ever try to do that to me?" I yell, "For someone who acts like this lying garbage was a way to protect me – why would you do that to me?"

"I was drunk…" she yells back, "And I was mad because he loved you and I was only thought of as a one night stand…"

"You're full of shit. I am done with you," I yell at her, "You're a sorry excuse for a friend and a woman…"

I wordlessly spend several more minutes packing up the rest of my clothes. Sloane is at my side the entire time, acting like a wounded animal that was just shot fifty times in the ass. I turn to him, frustrated by his hovering.

"Go away."

"No, I'm not leaving you…"

"You don't have a choice," I tell him as I finish up, "If you're around me anymore, I'm going to explode."

With that, I head out the door and throw my suitcase in the car. Sloane follows me out, and stands at a distance as I climb into my car with my stuff. I want to cry, I want to scream. My world exploded in a matter of minutes. What the hell am I going to do?

**Christian**

** "Oh darling, you look so handsome," My mother says as she enters the Great Room of my apartment. **I turn and face my mother, and notice how impeccably dressed she is for tonight's fundraiser. Tonight we will be attending the Foundation for Homeless Families in Seattle, an organization that is dear to my mother's heart.

Her long golden gown reminds me of something akin to royalty, and not something I'd see at a fundraising dinner. Her brownish blonde hair is pinned artfully on top of her head and she glows as she walks towards me. She grabs my arm and I give her a small peck on the cheek.

"Thank you mother, you look beautiful as well," I tell her as she smiles up at me.

"Thank you dear…. And thank you for joining me this evening. I wish you wouldn't worry about me though, I am a big girl – I could have gone by myself."

"Nonsense," I tell her, "Why would you go alone when I can go with you…."

I suddenly want to laugh, Anastasia is right. I am a Mama's boy. She smiles fondly, and I hear my phone buzz in the kitchen.

My mom nods and motions for my phone. "Go ahead. You have a life. I can't keep you from it."

I nod and move toward the buzzing in the kitchen. I pick up my phone and am stunned when I read the name on my caller ID. I programmed my number in her phone when she wasn't looking, and I am surprised and pleased to see that she finally found the number.

"Ana?"

"When did you put your number in my phone?" she snaps.

I chuckle, "You went to the bathroom during lunch the other day … and I took the opportunity. Has it really taken you this long to figure it out?"

She sighs and I know she has so much to say to me right now. "Where are you?" Her earlier exasperation is gone and it is now replaced with what seems like anger and possibly hurt. I am thrown completely off guard by the emotion in her voice.

"My apartment…. Are you ok?"

"Do you have time, something happened," she whimpers and a sob escapes her throat, "And I have nowhere else to go."

_Holy fuck_, why isn't she going to Sloane or her roommate? Hell, I'd expect her to run to Parrish before she would ever track me down – this must be bad.

"I live at Escala, go straight to the parking garage. My security will meet you there."

She pauses for a second, and I would give anything to know what she is thinking right now. "Escala is right around the corner from where I am," she finally says, "I'll be there in a second."

I hang up and turn to my Mom. "Before we leave, I have one small situation I need to take care of."

"A situation named Ana?" she asks, her eyes wide.

"Yes…. You can wait in the car if you'd like."

She shakes her head wildly, "Oh no, I am going to be around for this."

"**Who is she?" Mom asks with a gleam in her eye.**

"A subordinate," I tell her as we wait for Anastasia to arrive.

"A subordinate who is coming over to your apartment on a weekday?" she asks, still smiling.

"She's not my girlfriend," I fire back.

"I never asked if she was your girlfriend Christian," she replies back.

"Then quit looking at me like that," I tell her as her smile widens.

"Is my son getting red with embarrassment over a girl?" she laughs as she caresses my cheek, "I think you like her…"

"I don't have girlfriends," I tell her in defense, "She is just a friend."

She shrugs innocently, "I didn't say anything."

Anastasia finally pulls into the parking garage, and I am shocked to see the contraption she passes off for a car**. **A blue Volkswagen Beetle that I am pretty sure Volkswagen made when they were founded pulls up against my fleet of Audis. The different in style, safety and sophistication is alarming, and I will be sure to make sure she has proper transportation in the future. She gets out of the car and I am prepared to say something about her death trap of an automobile until I see her face.

"Ana?" I ask as I move forward. Her eyes are red and puffy, and her arms are wrapped herself as a form of personal protection. I immediately grasp her face in my hands, and wipe away the small tears that have formed. "Ana tell me what happened…"

"Sloane and Kate…" she whispers to herself, "I needed to get out and I have nowhere else to go."

"You can stay with me," I say without thinking, "You'll be fine. I'll take care of you."

"No, you don't have to…." She tells me, "This was stupid of me…. I came over here, demanding…"

"I want you here," I blurt out. She nods, and I see her expression suddenly change. I realize she must see my mother still standing behind us.

"I totally forgot," she breathes, "Your Mom… you have plans with your mother."

"Don't worry darling," she says, walking over to us, "You obviously need him more than I do…"

"Mom?"

"Do not be silly Christian," she says with a smile, "A beautiful young woman comes over seeking solace… of course you need to attend to her. I have friends and I'll find plenty of them at the benefit. "

She nods and I look over at Anastasia. "I need a minute with my Mom. Taylor can escort you inside…"

She smiles and my mother leans over to give her a peck on the cheek. She walks away and my mother leans into my ear.

"That girl needs a shoulder to cry on and a stiff drink…"

"Are you actually telling me how to handle a woman, mother?" I ask her, surprised by her advice.

She snorts, "You've handled super models…. You've never handled a real woman before. Good luck son, you're going to need it."

**I take my mother's advice and after a few drinks and a rather adorable rant, Ana is feeling pretty good about life. **

"Thank you for letting me stay with you," she says as she finishes off her wine, "I know how much of a mama's boy you are…"

I can't help my smile. "No, you definitely needed me more."

"It's fine, no biggie… my boyfriend just slept with my best friend back in the day and apparently that supposed best friend came on to him when we were together and then asked him to lie about it…. So basically, I have nowhere to live, and the person I thought was in love with is a big tattooed liar, and my best friend is a big slutty bitch."

I gently rub the nape of her neck. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not…" she says, trying to sound confident, "Forget them both. They can jump off a cliff for all I care."

"Deep down, I know you aren't happy about any of this… you came in here upset, and it's the alcohol making you angry and adorable…"

"Adorable?" she says as I lightly tap my finger to her nose. Very quickly, she turns back to vicious, or as vicious as Ana Steele is capable of being. "Adorable is what got me into this position…. I don't like being adorable."

"Got you in what position?" I ask as I move my finger down to her succulent lips. Fuck me - she is gorgeous, and alone with me in my apartment.

"They lied to me because they didn't think I could handle the truth….," she rambles on, "And I've never had a one night stand with a guy that I just met. I'm the girl who finds out her guy had a one night stand with her best friend…. I'll never be that girl somebody has a one night stand with…. I'm the girlfriend girl who gets screwed over for being "too innocent"… I hate this."

Does she really not see it? Does she really think this low of herself? I can't let her go the rest of this night without her seeing this.

"That's crap…."

"Oh, is that crap Grey?" she asks me, "If I was the one night stand girl…. You'd actually sleep with me, and this platonic relationship of ours would not be so lame…"

What is she saying exactly? "Do you want more than a platonic relationship with me?"

"No," she spits out. I know she tried to make it sound like she was disgusted, but it came out completely adorable.

"Right," I say, as I pick up a piece of popcorn, "Ana, listen to me very careful. You are not the "One Night Stand girl"…. And you should feel good about that because those one night stand girls are fun and freaky…" -I can't help but smile when she scowls at my words - "But their purpose is temporary. I get my fill of them, and then they're gone. I don't remember most of them because they don't matter. I don't kick myself at the end of the night after they walk out of my door because they're passing ships. Whether we realize it or not, guys like me pray for girls like you…. The sweet, and adorable, and the smart, and the girls who don't realize how devastatingly beautiful they are. Sloane isn't going to kick himself over Kate…. Sloane is going to kick himself over you…"

Her scowl slowly evaporated in the middle of my asinine speech and as I finish my last word, I know exactly what is going to happen between Ana and myself tonight, and I'd be damned if I was going to stop it.

**As I carry her to my bedroom, she wraps her legs around my waist and her hands are planted in my hair as we kiss. **Her kisses are deep and sensual, and have me hard within seconds. I kick the door closed behind me and plant her on my bed. She claws at my shirt and practically rips it open.

"You are feisty," I hum into her ear.

"Will I get a disease from all the women you've had in this bedroom," she asks as she lifts up her dress.

I laugh her hands move to my erection. "I actually have never brought them in here… I take them upstairs."

"I'm the first?" she asks as she strokes my cock that is straining against my pants. Holy fuck, I can't think straight.

"You're the first," I reply back as my pants go down.

"I've wanted you since the moment you handed me your business card," she hisses as I move on top of her.

"I wanted you the moment I saw you…" I say as I kiss her under her ear, "And I want you now. Badly."

She moans as I take off her bra, leaving her naked in front of me. "You are so beautiful," I say, running my thumb down her body.

She squirms under my touch and the look of lust in her eyes nearly does me over. "Please Christian…. Now," she pleads. I pull down her panties, kissing up and down her smooth thighs. "Please," she pleads again.

I pull down my boxers and position myself over her. "You sure, you did drink a lot tonight."

"It was just fucking wine," she wines impatiently, "For the love of God Christian…. Please."

I snicker as I lightly lick her neck, "Just giving back what you give to me… And tonight baby, I'm going to give you all I've got.…"

As I take my first deep plunge inside her, I thank God for lying douchebags and one night stands with unworthy girls. Because of their actions, it brought the first worthy girl I have ever had in my bed.

**"Are we spooning?" she asks as the light shines through my bedroom curtains. **We've been in this position in my bed for the last ten minutes, and I do not plan to let her leave any time soon. I kiss her neck and take in her intoxicating scent.

"Yep, I think we are…"

"Doesn't that go against your rules," she asks as she moves her hand behind me to squeeze my butt.

"You go against my rules," I tell her as I kiss her softly, "We better get up…. I need to get you to work."

She jumps out of my bed completely naked, and it takes all of my will power not to pull her back in bed with me. We both reluctantly get moving and I find myself changing quickly. I find it that if I stop long enough- I begin thinking about last night and its ramifications for my relationship with Anastasia. A relationship that started way too quickly and a relationship that I have a strange feeling will wreck me when it is done. I walk into the kitchen and Gail begins preparing breakfast for the pair of us.

"Christian."

I look up and find Ana dressed, looking inhumanly sexy in a red shift dress. Her brown hair is pulled back, and her eyes are surrounded with dark eyeliner. It takes everything in me not to ask what she is wearing under that dress.

"Good Morning."

She nods, "Good Morning…. I'm homeless…"

I snort, "You're living with me."

She scoffs, "Living with you…. After last night? Don't you think it is a little soon for that?" Ana looks suddenly embarrassed by Gail's presence and she quickly makes herself scarce.

"This doesn't have to be weird. You can sleep in the guest room and we can have hot platonic sex all over my apartment," I say as I wrap my arms around her. She smiles and I leave a tiny kiss on her forehead – It is impossible not to kiss her when she looks like this.

"This just seems weird," she says as I move my kisses closer to her mouth, "I don't know how to navigate this."

"Just let go," I say as I meet her eye line, "I want you… you want me…. We've been holding back for too long."

"A Week, we've been holding back for a week…"

"It's been too long," I interrupt her again, "Let me take care of you in your time in need."

"I can take care of myself."

"Yes, "I tell her, "But I'd much rather do the job if you don't mind…."

She sighs, "Fine." I kiss her too softly, and feel the strong urge to take her over my shoulder and drag her back to my bedroom.

I hear a cough and I turn to see Taylor uncomfortably standing, waiting for me. "Yes Taylor, I know we have to get to work…."

"Actually sir," Taylor says, looking uncomfortable, "RC Sloane is outside… "

I look over at Ana and the anxiety in her eyes tear at my heart. I motion her upstairs, "Go, I'll deal with him."

"Are you sure?" she asks.

I nod and kiss her forehead, "Don't worry baby, I'm taking care of you."

**RC enters my apartment looking angry and disheveled.** He should – after watching Ana walk out his door; I would feel the same way.I really want to laugh at him and tell him that I fucked his girl and that she'll be living under my roof now, but I decide against it. I know Ana is listening, and I don't want to push her back into his arms over something stupid.

"All right Grey, where is she?" he asks anxiously as he looks around my apartment. I'll admit it - RC Sloane is a good looking bastard. I couldn't pull off the tattooed look, but whatever works for him.

"She isn't here," I tell him.

"Have you been hanging out with her?" he asks, "Why is her cell phone here? She obviously knows where you live…. Why did she come here?"

"We have been hanging out," I tell him frankly, "I own SIP and I have brought her lunch every day this week."

"Mother fucker…. I knew you would do this," he yells at me, hazel eyes burning, "I knew you would try this bullshit with her. She is not one of your whores…. She's different and special and beautiful."

"I know," I snap at him.

"Now tell me where my girlfriend is…"

"She is staying with me," I hiss at him, "Because her asshole ex-boyfriend lied to her."

"Did you fuck her?"

I've fucked a lot of women in my life and with no doubt in my mind – I know the answer to this question without thinking.

"No," I snap at him, "Are you done?"

"Ana!" he yells, "Ana… baby come out please. I need to talk to you."

"She doesn't want to talk to you," I tell him.

"How did you know where to find me," I hear her voice from upstairs. We both turn to find her standing at the top of the second floor.

"I tracked your IPhone from your laptop…" Sloane admits.

"What the hell RC?" she snaps at him.

"Ana…. Its 2013…. Anyone can do it."

"Shut up Christian," she snaps at me with that fierce look in her blue eyes. Fuck, she is hot.

"Come home please…" Sloane begs her, "We can work this out."

She shakes her head, "No, I'm going to stay with Christian. I can't have you lying to me…."

"Ana please, I'm sorry. We can work this out."

"No," she says with a head shake, "I'm not changing my mind… I'll pick up my stuff later. I'll call so Kate knows to make herself scarce."

She turns around and stalks off. RC turns to me and I shrug.

"Guess you got what you came for…."

He huffs, "Listen to me, Grey. You better enjoy this advantage that you have while you have it because I can promise you that she will come back to me and you want to know why?"

I don't answer and he continues. "Because she is the love of my fucking life and I refuse to let you or this stupid secret to get in the way of that… so enjoy her while you can because she is mine."

"She is not yours," I snap at him.

"Well she's definitely not yours so you can get you delusional head out your ass."

"Why is she yours? What makes you so god damn confident that I can't take her from you like that?" I question with a snap of my fingers.

He smirks so condescendingly that I want to smack him in his fucking his face. "…Because I know guys like you – fuck, I used to be you. And I know for certain that you don't know how to love someone past a one-night stand."

Before I tear him to pieces, a much better thought enters my mind. "Says the man who will go home alone…."

**A/N 2 - Thanks for reading and reviews are always appreciated (like but for reals – freaking review.) THANKS!**


	6. Wednesday

**A/N – I don't own FSOG. Also – Lemon alert …. We are starting ONE week after chapter five. :)**

**So I originally named this chapter Roommates with Benefits and then I started writing it and I realized Wednesday was a much better choice…. You'll see why. **

**Music for this Chapter – Only you by Ellie Goulding **

**Chapter 6 – Wednesday **

**Ana – One Week Later **

** "Are you trying to run in heels?" he asks me as I hustle to my lunch date.**

"I am trying and succeeding you ass," I tell him as I shuffle through the sidewalk. If I am late, Evelyn is going to not let it down. My Step-Sister is surprisingly punctual and obnoxiously so.

"I don't know why you're running… and I really don't want you to break your neck," he says innocently.

"You're the reason I am late," I point out, "If you didn't come into my office with that look on your face, that "come sex me up" look, I wouldn't be in this predicament."

He really needs to stop coming by my office, and he really needs to stop having sex with me in my office during normal working hours– people are starting to talk. Everybody knows what we're doing, and it is only making it harder for me to be taken seriously by any one. When I walk into rooms now, everyone stops talking, and I know it is because they were talking about me and Christian before I walked in. If only he weren't completely irresistible and I had a chance of stopping him.

"I offered you suitable transportation."

"The restaurant isn't that far, and I am going stop you now before you change the subject and start attacking Wanda again," I warn him, "She is my baby and it will get ugly Grey."

The stupid idiot wants to replace my baby, and I keep trying to drill into his stubborn head that Wanda is a deal breaker. He may be my sexy roommate who I sex up on a regular basis, but he will not determine what I drive. I need to be able to put my foot down somewhere.

He snickers, "Have a good lunch with your sister…. Taylor will be at SIP to pick you up after work."

"Where will you be?" I ask, surprised he won't be there to pick me up like he has done every day this past week.

"Late meeting," he tells me as I enter the restaurant. I see Evelyn in the back and I make a be-line for where she is seated.

"All right, I'll see you later," I tell him, trying to keep a neutral tone of voice for my sister.

"Bye Ana," he says, pausing and then immediately hangs up. I stash my phone away and give Evelyn a swift hug before taking my seat.

Evelyn looks at me hesitantly and nods to my purse. "Who was that on the phone?"

I shrug and tell her the truth, "My boss."

"You mean that hottie Parrish?" she asks, her emerald eyes beaming.

I think about my words carefully before I tell them to my stepsister. Evelyn Adams is like Gossip Girl – she knows everything about everyone before they know it. Keeping secrets from her is impossible, and I definitely need to watch what I say around her. I don't want to quickly dish about my relationship with Christian because right now – there is no relationship.

Sure, Christian and I are friends. Right now, he is the best friend I have. The only issue, or non-issue – depending on how you're looking at this, is that I am sleeping with my best friend. I have never conducted myself like this, and Evelyn will make a huge stink about my "friends with benefits" status with Christian. On top of all of that, I am living with Christian and there is where it gets complicated. I am not in the mood to hear Evelyn's take on my current situation so I am keeping my mouth shut.

Do not get me wrong, Evelyn and I are close. We actually used to hate each other – viciously so. She is the only child of my step-Dad Bob and she moved in with my mom and me during my last three years of high school. We used to fight and tear at each other like animals, but once we hit our twenties, civility got the best of us and now we're as close as ever.

"For the millionth time Evy, I am not dating Parrish," I tell her as the waiter gets our drink orders.

"Champagne, we're drinking champagne," she says, pushing her sandy blonde hair from her eyes, "We have something to celebrate."

"What are we celebrating?" I ask as the waiter leaves to fetch our champagne.

"I got a job!" she squeals, "In the public relations department for Christian Grey's company."

I don't even have a drink, but I still manage to do a complete spit take. "Are you kidding?"

She laughs, "No, I am so pumped. He needs it…. His image has sure taken a hit after one of his competitors accused him of not being family friendly."

I know nothing about Christian's business other than that he acquired my publishing company from out of the blue.

"Really?"

"Yeah, apparently when you have an exorbitant amount of bitter exes, they sure love to talk…" she says shaking her head, "Are you ok? You look different."

"I look different? What the hell?"

She laughs, "It is not bad like I was expecting…. I mean after all that shit with Sloane."

"I don't want to talk about him," I snap.

"And where are you living now?" she asks as I feel my body freeze up, "I know you can't be living with Kate right now."

I fiddle with my fingers and try to find the right words. "I'm just living with a friend…"

"A friend?" she asks as her eyebrows rise.

"A work friend…" - I am technically not lying - "Don't worry about me Ev."

She is still staring at me curiously, and I know she isn't buying any of this. "Have I met this work friend? If it is Parrish, I need details."

"For the last fucking time, it is not Parrish," I snap at her.

She gasps, "Is my little Ana cussing?

"Shut up."

"You said the F word! What has gotten into you?" she hisses as she leans over. When she begins sniffing me, I bat her away.

"Are you sniffing me? What the hell is wrong with you?" I snap at her as she gasps.

"You've had sex in the last hour…. I can smell whoever it is on you."

"You smell nothing, I have not had sex," I hiss at her as she grabs my hands.

"You're nervous about something," she says pointing at my joined fingers, "What is going on with you Ana? There is obviously something, or someone, and you're nervous to tell me about it."

"Drop it."

"Have you found yourself some man candy since Sloane?" she asks, green eyes wide.

I know her, and I know I have to give her something to work with or she'll pester me about this until I crack. I am not ready to divulge about Christian just yet, but that doesn't mean I can't give her a little something, something.

"Listen," she says, "I know I am not the best about keeping secrets, so whatever this is – know that I am a vault, this isn't going anywhere. You're my sister and I love you. And Sloane is a douchebag so if you have some hot guy sexing you up – more power to you."

"Yes," I finally say, "I have some hot guy sexing me up on a regular basis."

"I knew it," she squeals in celebration.

"But…. This is all very new for me. I've only ever been with Sloane…. And I don't want to talk much about it yet…" I tell her.

She nods, "I get it. I am super stoked for you."

We both giggle together while I tell her more about my mystery man.

**Taylor picks me up from work at the end of my day and I sadly have to be driven home without Christian Grey at my side. **

A text message draws me from my funk and I smile when I see it is from Evelyn.

"_So happy 4 u sis – but if you need me (or a place to stay) – I'm her Evy"_

I smile happily at my phone and reply with a big thank you. I throw my phone back into my purse and turn to Taylor.

"When will Christian be finished with his meeting?" I ask Taylor.

"Soon, Miss Steele," he says with a nod.

"What does soon mean, Taylor?" I ask, slightly agitated with his lack of information.

"Soon," he repeats, a knowing smile crossing his lips.

"Is there something you are not telling me Taylor?" I ask with a scowl.

"Patience is a virtue, Miss Steele," he responds, never departing from his stern expression.

Once we are in the parking garage, Taylor brings the SUV to a stop and he quickly moves to help me out of the SUV. I begin walking and realize that Taylor isn't following me. I turn back around and Taylor simply nods.

"I need to check the vehicle's engine," he says, "Please go on to the service elevator."

I know for certain Taylor is breaking protocol, but I don't test him. He is not my security detail, he is Christian's. I press the button for the elevator, and the doors immediately open. I smile at the lone passenger waiting in the elevator car.

"A meeting, huh?" I ask as I join Christian inside.

"It finished early," he says as the elevator doors close. He looks as devastatingly sexy as he did this afternoon before my lunch date with Evelyn. This time around, he is tieless and his shirt is unbuttoned exposing a small amount of skin. "….And I had an idea."

"What idea is that, Mr. Grey?" I ask as he presses stop. The elevator comes to a halt and his expression immediately darkens.

"We go up and down this elevator every single day…," he says, his voice moving as smooth as silk, "So I thought, I might go down on you in this elevator."

I feel a knot in my throat as I try to respond. "You have some interesting ideas, Mr. Grey."

"But then… I realized that my biggest fantasy is going down on you while other people stand with us in the elevator," he says as he grabs on to my ass. Immediately, I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms snake around his neck. "So I thought i'd fuck you in this elevator instead…" he says in my ear, "Would you like that?"

"Yes," I breathe, "I need you…"

"You had me hours ago," he says mockingly, "Have I really created such a little sex monster in a week's time."

He pushes me up against the railing and I immediately feel him through his slacks. "Fuck yeah," I hiss, biting my lip.

"I fucking love you," he says with a laugh. I feel my blood pulse at his use of the word "love." "You're my little live-in nymphomaniac and I love it when you're wild for me."

I quickly move to undo his pants and his pants and boxers are on the ground within seconds. I claw my nails into his taut ass. "I am not your live-in nymphomaniac."

He snickers as I place my hands around his erection. "You live in my apartment and sleep in my bed and you can't keep your hands off me…. And I can't keep mine off you. What else would you be then?"

I am currently dumbfounded by the question. Within a week, he has taken me to places I have never been, and we have broken all the rules of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. But fuck them all, I am crazy about him, and I can't go a day without having him inside me. I don't normally cuss, but when he brings me to my release, I know no other words in the English language that are able to describe what he does to me.

Instead of answering his question that still lingers between us, I pull down my panties and pull off my dress – hoping he doesn't press the issue further. I just want him right now – I am good without any other complicated questions.

Once my panties are gone, I continue to stroke his cock. He leans over to kiss me, placing both hands on either side of my head. I move my hands away from his cock so I am able to wrap my arms around his neck and grab a hold of his hair. As we kiss, he attacks my mouth, sensually sucking and biting at my lips and tongue. His kiss almost seems to be reverential and I am swept away by the unspoken meaning of his actions. He moves his body against mine, and I react to his movements, living to feel his body pressed against mine. The whole damn apartment building could be on fire, and I wouldn't even care because right now – my world is him. The way he touches me, the way his body moves against mine, and even the way he kisses me. Every movement and every touch brings me to life, and I'd be crazy to think anything else mattered right now.

He grabs my ass and positions his waiting erection at my folds and I move my lips to his neck. I am not sure if I hear him correctly, but it still doesn't stop the tears from my eyes when he mutters five simple words into my ear.

"You are everything to me…"

I cry out as he plunges deep inside of me. I cling to him, needing every bare part of my skin to be matched with the nakedness of his body. He moves and my lips are frantic, kissing and licking and biting him everywhere. He groans as he continues to drive forward, searching for our joint release. I feel myself climbing, needing to reach my climax with him.

"Christian," I breathe, unable to take the pleasure convulsing through my body, "I'm almost there…"

"Come on Ana…. Come with me," he whispers into my ear as I eventually let go. My release signals his and his erotic finishing moans sends pleasure radiating through my veins.

"Holy shit," I breathe as I try to control my breathing.

He laughs hoarsely as his breathing slows with mine. "My thoughts exactly."

He pulls out, but he looks uncomfortable, almost embarrassed. "You ok?" I ask as he pulls up his pants.

He nods, "Yes. I am definitely more than ok. You're without a doubt the hottest roommate I have ever had."

I smack him as I quickly pull my dress back up. "Shut up," I say as I turn for him to zip me, "Do you think people might actually need this elevator."

Christian shrugs as he zips me up, "Trust me, I needed this elevator much more."

He looks sad again as he presses the button to get the elevator moving. I have no idea why he looks like this, but I'd do anything to knock that frown off his face. Once we are both completely dressed, I wrap my arms around him and lean my head on his chest.

"Bad day at work?" I ask.

He looks down and smirks, "Yeah… I'll get over it."

"Ok," I say with a sigh, "What do you want for dinner?"

"Gail made us spaghetti and it is in the refrigerator, we are without the staff tonight," he says with a sexy smirk, "And I have a few things waiting for you in my room."

"What kind of things?" I ask as we finally enter the foyer.

He points off towards his bedroom, "Go and see for yourself…."

**Christian informs me that he will take care of warming up Gail's dinner and that I should dress and get ready for our night in his room. **I sincerely hope he doesn't burn his apartment down. I enter his bedroom and notice a box lying on the bed. I pick up the note attached and begin reading.

"_Wear this with one of my button up shirts" – C_

I shake my head and know exactly what will be inside this box. Whenever I need to make myself look presentable around his apartment – I always slip on one of his button up shirts over whatever type of lingerie I am wearing, and Christian finds this practice insanely sexy. I open the box and smile at the fire engine red lacy lingerie he has acquired for this evening.

As I dress in my new attire, my cell phone begins to ring. When I see the name on the caller ID, I scramble and quickly try to move to where Christian couldn't possibly hear me.

"Hey Sloane."

"Hey babe, how are you?"

Sloane has made a habit of calling me daily, a little fact that I haven't told Christian yet. Sloane is trying to remain civil with me post breakup and I am trying to match his civility. He is an old friend, and I don't want to seem rude.

"I'm good…. Listen, this really isn't the best time."

"I just wanted to see if you got my flowers," he asks, his tone hopeful.

I sigh, "I did… they were beautiful. Thank you."

Christian suddenly enters the room, and I notice he is frozen in his tracks and is eyeing me hungrily. I smile at his "deer in the headlights" expression- I love being the reason he looks like that.

"Alright, I've gotta go, bye," I say quickly, dismissing the call.

"You look…." Christian chokes out.

"Like you want me on the floor of your living room?"

He smiles, eyes wide, "Absolutely."

**Christian**

**I was right, that Fire Engine Red lingerie looks fucking phenomenal spread across the white marble floor of my living room. **It almost looks as good as the sight of Ana straddling me, and riding my cock while I squeeze her breasts in my hands. Her sexy little moans make me as hard as a brick, and I don't want her to stop. Fuck, she feels so good wrapped around me. 

I grab her ass and beseech her to ride me harder. We started nice, slow, and sweet, but the closer I get to coming, the more of an animal I become. I sit up and we are nose to nose as she moves. I leave her a soft kiss on her beautiful plump lips and move to bite her shoulder.

"Fuck, Christian," she hisses.

"You close baby?" I ask as she moves faster.

"So fucking close," she breathes as I kiss her, absorbing her cries. I hear her cell phone ring in the distance and I let out a groan.

"Who the fuck is calling you?"

"Doesn't fucking matter," she huffs out as she quickly comes, her orgasm spurring mine on with her.

"Fuck, Ana, yes," I hiss, as I pour into her. I hold her close and feel her hot breaths on my neck as we both slowly come back to earth. How is it so intense with her every single fucking time? She kisses me a final time, and our lips melt together as they move. Ruining the moment again, her phone rings a second time.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she murmurs as she begins to stand up. She trips a little as she gets up and I laugh.

"Did I make you weak in the knees baby?"

She laughs, "It is the Christian Grey effect….. Ignore my phone…. I'll be right back." She walks off and I quickly pull on my sweat pants.

I pull out her present from behind the couch and set it on the coffee table and nervously wait for her to come back. I hope she likes it, and I hope she doesn't think it is way too over the top. When her phone rings for a third time, I move across the couch and grab it. When I see the name on her caller ID, I want to throw her fucking phone out the window.

**Ana**

** I hurry back to the living room, and suddenly Christian begins to talk. **

"Hi Ana… it's me, just checking in on you," he begins reading on my phone, "Hey Ana – If you need a new place to live, Evelyn has told me you can stay with her. Hey, just thinking about you today… I love you and I am sorry for all the shit I've put you through…."

"Christian…. Stop," I beg, "No good can come with reading th-

"No, wait – it gets better," Christian bites out, looking substantially betrayed, "Hey Ana, I know I fucked up but I am never going to stop. I am never giving up on us. You're the world to me. When I picture myself in the future, I picture you as my wife and the family we'll have together. Our son I want to name Ryder, because it is similar to my name, and our daughter we'll name Elizabeth after your grandmother? This is just a misstep on our path… I love you."

"I never responded to any of his texts…" I tell him.

"Hey Ana, just checking to see if you got the flowers I sent you," Christian continues as he looks up at me, "That was today…. So the flowers I moved off your desk so I could make love to you on your desk… Those were from him?"

"Make love?" I cough out.

"Where they from him?" Christian asks again.

I nod, "Yeah."

He throws down my phone and begins pacing around the room. I stand in silence, waiting for him to say anything.

"Why didn't you tell me about any of this?" Christian asks suddenly, "You haven't said anything... not one fucking word."

"You're my roommate," I respond.

"I am in love with you Ana," he yells at me, "If you didn't feel that in the elevator then fuck…. Why did I even try this hearts and flowers shit on you?"

"You're in love with me?" I ask quietly.

"Well that's all shot to hell now, don't you think?" he snaps, "He is going to try to stomp on my balls…."

"You're in love with me…" I say again, trying to get my brain to play catch up. "How long have you been in love with me…?"

His eyes are raw and he shakes his head, "I think I've been in love with you this whole time, but I didn't quite understand how deep I was in this until Wednesday."

"Wednesday?" I snort, "Why Wednesday?"

He shakes his head, "It's stupid."

"Oh my god, tell me," I beg him. Tears are cascading down my face and I try to wipe them away quickly.

"Fuck me," he breathes, "It was raining… and I picked you up from work, and I was worried to fucking death about the car, and I yelled at Taylor fifty five times to drive carefully. And then you jogged to the SUV, and I was scared because it was slick outside and you were in heels and you can't run in heels…"

"Christian, I can run in heels."

"For the Love of God – no, you cannot run in heels, but shut up and quit distracting me…." He continues, "You got in the SUV and your hair was all wet and your mascara was all over your face and you looked so … fucking. beautiful. And I couldn't help it, I had to touch you - you were so God damn beautiful and that night I had to have you. For the first time in my life – I made love to my best friend and it was perfect. You are perfect."

I launch myself at him and he topples backwards onto the couch. I can't stop kissing and touching him. He's answering back in equal fervor and we are practically molesting each other in the middle of his living room.

He pulls back and grabs the bag next to him. "I am about to bring you back to my bedroom and keep you there forever… so I need to give you your present before I forget."

"My present?" I ask as I scoot off him.

He nods, kissing my tenderly on the lips. "You were sad when your Chanel bag became tainted due to "he who must not be named"…. So I thought you deserved a replacement bag."

I quickly pick it up and begin digging. My jaw drops as I pull the bag out and place it in front of me.

"You bought me a Birkin bag…."

He nods, nervously, "My sister says they're a lot better than Chanel…."

"You bought me a fucking Birkin bag to replace the evil Chanel bag…"

He nods nervously, most likely confusing my shock for hatred of my present. "Do you like it?"

I go promptly back to molesting my boyfriend, hoping my actions will speak louder than any words I could possibly say.

**A/N2 – Review or I'll kill off all my characters…. Ok, totally kidding – I have a terrible sense of humor. BUT let me know if you liked it because I loved writing it!**


	7. Meet My Boyfriend

**A/N – WOW! Thank you for all the response for that last chapter! That was crazy! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!**

**For the next week or so – I am going to be in and out…. So updates may not happen as much as I'd (or you –possibly) may like, but I am going to update when I can. I may just have to resort to shorter chapters – who knows. **

**I don't own FSOG. Enjoy! Comments and reviews are GREATLY appreciated and I am serious when I tell you they help me write faster! Lol **

**Chapter 7 – Meet my boyfriend…**

**Ana**

** As soon as I am through the door, I know he knows I am here.** The thought sends shock waves through my spine, and I try my best to stay upright. I am not here for him anyway, we are all going to lunch together but I am here for Evelyn. I enter the elevator, and move to the back. The elevator is filled with GEH employees, and I'd rather remain invisible.

"Which floor ma'am?" The elevator operator asks.

"29," I tell him, "That's where the public relations offices are, right?"

He nods, "Yes ma'am."

A short blonde in the center turns at my words. "Who are you looking for in the PR department?"

"I'm meeting my sister for lunch…. Evelyn Adams."

"Oh new girl," she squeaks happily, "I love new girl."

_New girl, really_, last I checked, my sister has a name. "Yep, I guess that's her…."

"Oh my god Susan," the brunette says, taking the blonde's attention away from me, "Did you hear the rumors about G?"

"Oh yes, G definitely has a GF. No one has seen her and nobody know who she is…," she says with snort, "G is definitely good… Someone with his status, I am surprised he has kept her a secret for this long."

_Huh_, I wonder who they could possibly be talking about. Their code is stupid, but as it is with girls like them – they think it is freaking genius. The elevator finally opens and I step out after them, searching for my sister among the clumps of desks.

"New girl," Susan announces amongst the clumps, "Your sister is here."

Who the hell does she think she is? Before I get a chance to claw at her, Evelyn's pretty little head pokes out. She smiles when she sees me and grabs her purse. She strides over to me, but Susan suddenly stops her.

"New girl… is that a new dress?"

Evelyn nods and smiles nervously. She looks down at her new white Chloe dress in shame. I bought her that damn dress, the bitch better back off. Evelyn is never like this – she doesn't cower to anyone.

"It was a present from my sister," she tells her, nodding to me.

"It's cute," she says, her tone completely telling me the opposite.

Before I rip her to shreds for being a big bitch to my sister, a different voice comes up behind me.

"Is everything ok ladies?"

Susan and Evelyn both turn their heads to the figure lurking behind me. As soon as Christian is standing next to me, he gingerly wraps his arm around my waist. He leans over to kiss my forehead and I am certain Evelyn is going to expire on the spot. _Oh yeah,_ I may have not informed Evelyn of the identity of my mystery boyfriend. I was going to tell her today at lunch.

Susan nods, "Yes Mr. Grey, everything is fine."

"I hope you're making my girlfriend's sister feel right at home on her first week at work, Ms. Everett. If not, I might need to look for a new head of public relations," he tells her as she suddenly turns white as a sheet.

"Of course, Mr. Grey," she chokes out, "Ms…. Ummm."

"Ms. Adams," Evelyn embarrassingly corrects her.

"Yes, Ms. Adams. Your girfriend's sister is a valued member of our team and is treated as such…." She awkwardly chokes out, "Have a nice lunch."

Evelyn nods and Christian turns, taking me with him. I begin walking as Evelyn grabs my arm. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Missy!"

** He lightly tickles the nape of my neck and I feel myself squirm with delight. **I am a goner – I can't get enough of him. I love his hands on me, I love the way he looks at me. Those intense grey eyes gaze at me like I'm the only person in the room, and I can't get enough. I haven't felt that way since Sloane.

Evelyn is in complete shock. A lot of information has been thrust upon her in one afternoon, and she is blissfully in shock. She knew I was seeing somebody, but I am sure she had no idea that somebody was Christian Grey.

"Don't worry Evelyn," Christian says out of the blue, "Susan Everett is a bully and should be gone from the company in no time…."

Evelyn looks upon Christian with surprise. "Really?"

"She has been a drain for a while now…. Time to replace her. Especially since she thinks she can speak to my future sister-in-law how she spoke to you today."

"Future sister-in-law?" I barely cough out. I look across the table and Evelyn is as baffled as I am. We've been together for maybe two weeks.

"You know," Christian says with a shrug, "Down the road… just because it's not legally official doesn't mean I can't treat her as such."

I take an extra swig of my wine after that comment. I feel a buzz next to me and Christian sighs angrily. He pulls out his cell phone and shakes his head. "Baby," he says as he leaves me a kiss on the lips, "I have to take this…. I'm sorry."

"Go ahead," I tell him. He smiles and kisses me for a second time. He walks off and I turn my attention to Evelyn.

"He totally likes you more then you like him."

"Excuse me?" I ask, shocked by her accusation.

"He is head over heels…." She says with a nod, "He is sure of you, but I am not feeing it from your side."

"I love him," I tell her.

"Seriosuly? Because he has said that he loves you three times during this meal, and this is the first time I have heard that statement come from your mouth," she tells me, crossing her arms.

"It's been two weeks," I shoot back, "Can you get off me?"

She sighs, "Ana…. I've heard things."

"What have you heard Evelyn?" I snap back.

"I've heard that you're still talking to Sloane…."

I feel my blood run ice cold. "Where did you hear that from?"

"Is it true?" she hisses, "Because if it is, that's bullshit."

"I have known Sloane for years…. I have no interest with being with him again after what happened with Kate, but we chat occasionally. Not enough to get yourself hot and bothered over… "I tell her, "For once in your life, mind your own damn business."

She shakes her head, no doubt angry as hell at me. "Ana, I have been looking into his past relationships a lot lately – this is my job after all - and something about one particular past relationship bothers me…. Especially now that you're pulling this garbage."

Evelyn now has my undivided attention. "What are you talking about?"

"He has had a lot of one night stands and hook ups, and he was the definition of a man whore…."

"Yes, please talk more about my boyfriend's sexual past…" I deadpan.

"He wasn't always like this," she sighs, "When he was in college… he had one steady relationship. She fucked with his head, at least according to the tabloids I read, and he broke up with her. They've carried on a relationship ever since – mostly sexual from what I hear…. But he has never let her back in, and it almost makes me think that this is why he was Mr. Man Whore until you…."

Christian comes back and Evelyn and I turn our masks back on, pretending to be unaffected by our conversation. "I'm sorry ladies," Christian says as he kisses me on the forehead, "I had work to deal with, but…. I did get the rest of the afternoon off…"

"Good, take me home," I blurt out.

Evelyn snorts and Christian looks at me mischievously. "Really? In front of your sister."

I wave her off, "She's fine. Whatever. Take me home….. please."

He smirks, "As you wish Miss Steele."

**I stare at my cell phone for several moments, trying to decide what to do. **I need to break this off, I need to quit him, but I don't know why I am so reluctant to do this. I am with Christian, fully and completely. Yes, I think we're moving too fast. Yes, parts of my relationship with him terrify me, but I love him.

My conversation with Evelyn was like a shot to the brain – I need to lock him down before some slut decides she'll take over my spot. He is mine, and I need to make sure that this is completely clear. Sloane needs to go. Christian is my world now, I can't have them both.

I take one last look at Milania Turotti and I know I am making the right decision. Fuck, and I mean fuck, she is beautiful. Brown hair, bright green eyes, and a killer tanned body – have I mentioned that I hate her? Christian and Milania were young when they dated, but even back then they made a perfect couple. She hasn't aged a day from when she turned twenty one and I hate her for it.

"Baby?" Christian asks as I move off the bed.

"Go back to sleep," I purr as I kiss his soft lips. He is still naked from our afternoon sex marathon, and I plan to keep him that way. I want him to forget he ever took Milania Turotti to pound town.

"Get back in bed," he requests sleepily.

"I have one small phone call to make," I tell him as I plant another kiss on his lips, "Won't take more than a second…."

He nods, "Hurry up…. I want you again when you're done."

"Again?" I snort, "You just woke up…"

"I can't get enough of you…." He smirks, "I need you again…. And yes, I am demanding more of my girlfriend. Deal with it."

I smile, satisfied that he is thinking of me and not her. "As you wish Mr. Grey…"

**Ana – Present Time **

** "Ana…" I hear a voice from the door, "Ana…. You ready to go?"**

I look up at my stepsister, and try to force out a smile. "Hey Ev…. Thanks for picking us up." I come to the startling revelation that I have been in this waiting room for a while. I don't think they've moved since I received the news. I am not sure my legs are capable of walking out the door.

She smiles, "Of course…. I wouldn't have left my baby niece and her mother by themselves."

I look down at Elizabeth and my baby is passed out in my arms. The peaceful expression on her small features breaks my heart. If only she knew what this day really means, and how much this moment will affect her future. This is the day she lost her Dad, the day her life changed drastically.

"Hey," Evelyn whispers as she wipes off an errant tear, "You're going to get through this."

"How?" I ask, tears starting to build again, "How am I going to get through this."

"Because you're strong, and she needs you and you'd do anything for her…." She tells me, rubbing Elizabeth's small hand.

"I don't think I'm strong…." I tell her honestly as I gaze down at my baby, "I can barely take care of myself without being an eff-up…. How am I supposed to raise a baby by myself?"

She shakes her head, "You aren't an eff up, and you aren't raising her alone. We're all going to be here for you. Your Mom, Your Dad, My Dad, Grace, Me…. None of us will let you do this by yourself. We love you."

I nod, "Thanks for the pep talk."

She snorts, "Anytime… now let's go. You need to eat and you definitely need some sleep."

I place Elizabeth in her baby carrier and Evelyn begins leading us out of the hospital. I am struggling to carry her carrier by myself and I remember how easy Sloane carried her, and how much he insisted on it. "_I've got my baby in my left hand and my baby in my right hand…"_

"Stop."

Evelyn stops as I place the carrier on the ground. I try my best to control my breathing and rid my face of the tears that are falling quickly down my face. She kisses me on the top of the head, picks up the carrier and walks off, most likely placing Elizabeth in the car. I hear her steps move quickly back towards me and she grabs on to my side.

"Come on, let's get you home."

We make it to Evelyn's car and I notice an envelope sitting on top of the windshield. Evelyn shrugs when she notices it too. She picks up the envelope and opens it for herself. She looks over the paper inside, and eventually hands it over to me.

"It is for you…. If you don't want to read it, I can shred it up now."

I shake my head, "I'll read it."

I read the first paper, and notice Grace's unmistakable scrawl. "_He gave this to me and told me to give it to you." – Grace_

I take a deep breath and flip the other piece of paper over.

"_I miss my best friend….. so much." – C_

Evelyn barely makes it in time to catch me as my legs give out and tears burst from my eyes.


	8. Dinner with the Greys

**A/N – Ok, so it seems that I have made another mistake. In the first chapter – it says that this all takes 3-5 years…. oh dear, that's a long time. I am going to shorten this because I don't see how that time frame is possible. I'll go back and change it later in the first chapter, but for right now – we're going to keep the timeline I am writing. **

**THANKS again for all your reviews! Keep them coming! They definitely keep me writing! I don't own FSOG **

** /lizlemonfanfic/feel-again/ - Also, I have a pinterest board for this story. I use it when I need inspiration so sometimes I post picture sneak peeks on it. ENJOY!**

**Chapter 8 – Dinner with the Greys **

**Ana**

** I am way more nervous then I need to be, but this is important. **I am meeting Christian's family tonight, and I have no idea what I am supposed to wear. Christian has stocked up our closet with beautiful and expensive dresses and I have no idea what would be the most acceptable for a dinner with my boyfriend's parents. My cell phone rings and I jump when I see Evelyn on the caller ID.

"Oh my god, you are exactly the person I need right now."

She laughs, "Trying to look for an outfit?"

"Yes," I laugh, "I am having dinner with Christian's family tonight."

"Well, well, well sis, it seems like I called at the right time…."

Evelyn is the reason I know labels and why I don't dress like a homeless librarian. If I have ever looked good in an outfit at any point in my existence – Evelyn had something to do with it. She is the reason I know names, and the reason I was able to appreciate the Birkin bag Christian purchased for me.

"What are you working with?" she asks, her tone serious.

"A red dress, a plum dress, a gold one…."

"Gold is too flashy for just a simple dinner with Christian's parents… and Red is a little too racy …. You don't want Christian taking you to a back room at his parent's house and fucking you silly, now don't you?"

Is she serious? I stay quiet and she bursts into laughter. "Ok, people who want to make a good first impression would rather that not happen…."

"Whatever you say," I tell her as I slip off my clothes from work, and quickly slip on the plum dress, "Oh hey, this thing is backless…. And I have learned from experience that Christian enjoys my naked back…"

She snorts, "Well, then maybe you will have some fun in the backroom at his parent's house after all…. Why should I stop you?"

I laugh and look for my pair of crème Louboutins. "I could wear a mumu, and we'd still be having sex in the middle of his parent's dinner."

She laughs again, and then suddenly falls quiet. "Oh hey… I have something I need to tell you."

"Yes?" I say as I investigate my hair and makeup in the mirror.

"I don't know if you know this, but being in the PR department at Christian's company means we are always on top of his trashy former lifestyle, and we are ahead of every terrible thing that gossip magazines could ever post about him. We're basically his image lifeline. So…. we were informed that one of his ex-girlfriends is back in town, and is dead set on seeing him with a desperate need to talk to him…. She knows about you, and that only has supercharged her need to see him. We don't know what she wants, but I am nervous for you…"

"Which ex is this?"

She sighs, "Milania Turotti…. Of course."

My blood runs cold. Fantastic – Christian's supermodel ex-girlfriend, just the person I wanted to meet tonight. "How do you guys know all of this?"

"We have excellent sources…. No one can keep a secret anymore. It is the digital age. Plus, one of the members of our department has an in with Christian's security – the big boss may not be happy when he finds out, but that means we are always one step ahead of the gossip rags so it works in his favor. This one is going to be a doozy – I can feel it."

"Fantastic."

Christian suddenly enters our closet, and the look on his face only makes me smile. "Listen, I have to go Evelyn."

He saunters towards me, his eyes never leaving my body. "K, bye, Love you," she says as I quickly hang up the phone.

He spins me around, and his hand settles on my naked back. "No bra tonight?" he chokes out.

I shake my hand and he smiles mischievously. He kneels in front of me and snakes his hand up my dress skirt. I feel him reach for my panties, but gasps when he doesn't feel anything there.

"Miss Steele…. I am impressed. So brazen… this is definitely not like you…. What has brought this on?"

"Excuse you?" I huff, "I am plenty brazen."

He smiles and I feel myself melt. "I was wrong, my apologies. Sometimes I forget that beyond the innocent and sweet, there is a wild side that not many see – I only get to see it… and of course, you blow my mind on a regular basis."

I leave him a soft kiss on the lips. "Thank you for acknowledging my brazenness… and as a reward, I plan on blowing your mind before we go to dinner, and hopefully a couple of times during dinner."

I push him into the bedroom and he willingly goes straight for our bed. His smile is wide and his eyes are bright with mischief. I straddle him and begin unfastening his belt. I quickly pull down his pants and my hands go straight for the prize. I begin to stroke him and press my lips to the crown of his already semi-hard member.

"Baby, yes," he murmurs under his breath. I move my tongue down to his balls and lick all the way to the top, eliciting a strangled hiss from my sexy as hell boyfriend. "Oh fuck…" he mutters as I place my entire mouth around his cock and begin licking and sucking his nearly hard member.

After several more minutes of my mouth on his cock, I can't take in anymore. I need him inside me, and I need him now. I quickly move to a straddling position and lift my dress up. I place the tip of his cock at my folds and he looks up at me with a hungry, pleading expression.

"So I think no underwear at your parents tonight will be perfect," I whisper as I sink down onto him. His strangled moan confirms my theory to be true, and we are both instantly lost.

** As we walk together to his parent's front door, I notice he is smiling at me. **I don't know why he could possibly be smiling at me like that, other than the fact that he could still be reeling from our quickie before we left his apartment. It could also have something to do with the fact that I am not wearing any undergarments, or some other possibility that my mind hasn't conjured yet.

"Are you nervous to meet my family?"

"No," I gasp.

"Ana…."

"Ok fine, maybe a little…." I confess.

He smirks, "Baby, trust me. They'll like you a whole lot more then they'll ever like me."

"Really?"

He sighs, "My Mom already loves you…. She has asked about you after that night when you came over to my apartment and has not stopped talking about you since. Trust me, you've already won her over."

"How? She barely even knows me…"

He nods, "My mother has always been a good judge of character. And you're the first girl I have brought home… ever. So I guess that means Grace Grey will automatically like you."

"What about your Dad?"

"My Dad is kind of an asshole, but in a good way. He'll warm up to you. He likes pretty girls…" he says as he leans over to kiss my temple, "My brother will like you because you aren't wearing a bra, and my sister will like you because my mom likes you…. So I don't anticipate there being any issues."

"God, I wonder if Elliot remembers me…."

"Oh he does," he tells me, his tone tense, "His crude jokes have made me second guess your lack of underwear for this evening, but I'll just murder him if he says or does anything to you…."

"Oh that simple," I tell him as he nods.

"That simple…" he repeats as the front door bursts open.

A tall, very beautiful brunette stands at the threshold, a smile plastered across her beautiful face. Her tan dress with high tan sparkly heels makes me feel exceptionally short. Christian's younger sister is quite the amazon.

"You're finally here!" she beams as she throws her arms around Christian.

"Hey Mia," he chokes out as she finally lets him go.

"Oh my gosh, you're just as pretty as Mom described you," she beams as she throws her arms around me, "I'm Mia…"

"I figured," I say with a chuckle.

"Mia, for the love – let them breathe," I hear another voice say. As Mia lets me go, I realize Grace has joined us. She gives Christian a quick hug and smiles brightly when she sees me.

"It is lovely to see you again dear," she beams, "And I am glad we're meeting again under much happier circumstances…"

"Me too…" I tell her as Christian grabs my hand.

She smiles wider and motions for us to come inside. As we walk through the foyer and down the hall to the sitting room, I feel so small. The Grey's family home is grandiose and ostentatious; they're a family who has most likely been rich for a very long time. I try to keep my feet firm, and my head high – my Dad has always taught me to never let anyone, rich or not, intimidate me – no matter the situation.

We enter the living room, and I feel my jaw hit the floor. Seated by Carrick and Elliot is Kate. Fuck. Christian turns to me with a twinge of sympathy in his features; he obviously didn't expect to see Kate here either. Elliot, Carrick, and Kate stand to greet us.

"You must be the girl my wife and my daughter can't seem to stop talking about," Carrick says as he nods to me, "It is very nice to meet you Anastasia."

I nod and hesitantly offer my hand. Carrick smiles genuinely and I am reassured that my biggest issue tonight will be Kate. Elliot smirks and immediately gives me a hug. When he plasters his chest against mine, I quickly discover what Elliot is up to. Christian, suddenly very ravished with anger, pulls Elliot off of me and shoves him away.

"She's a high C… almost a D…. well done little brother," Elliot whispers in his ear loud enough for me to hear.

Christian smacks him hard again, and Grace sighs. "Boys, is it really necessary for you two to act like Neanderthals tonight?" Grace asks.

"Yeah… seriously Christian…." Elliot jokes as he smacks him on the arm and turns to me, "Hey… so do you know Kate, my new girlfriend?"

I can't hide the scoff that exits my lips. I nod his direction, "Yeah, we've met."

Kate's eyes look dangerously angry, but she quickly softens her expression. She has no right to be angry with me, after everything she has done. My former best friend looks as beautiful as usual, wearing a red dress and showing off every curve that God placed on her tall body. I hate her.

**Dinner gets underway, and I immediately feel Grace's preference for me over Kate. **We have chatted most of the night, and I have enjoyed my one-on-one time with Grace. Kate is trying to get a word in with Elliot's mother, but Grace continues to focus on me. I feel a small bit of vindication mixed with a twinge of sympathy. It makes me quickly realize that Kate is in fact Elliot's new girlfriend, and there is no form of "Friends with Benefits" relationship happening between the two. They are very serious, and I know Kate must be devastated.

Fuck me, and my sense of friendship – something Kate never had. "Kate recently gave her hair to locks of love," I tell Grace. Kate's eyes flip immediately to us as I begin speaking about her. "And she runs in a lot of charity races…. Kate only does them if there is a charity involved."

"Really?" Grace asks, "How many charity races have you participated in, Katherine?"

Kate smiles and nods at me, her expression full of gratitude. "I've lost count at this point…. At least thirty."

"That's my baby," Elliot purrs, "Always doing good for others… "

"Are you two friends… you seem to know a lot about each other?" Grace asks as I feel my heart sink.

"I've been a bad friend," Kate steps in immediately, "I've been really busy with work and with Elliot, Ana and I have had no time to re-connect."

"Well now that you're dating brothers," Grace tells us, "You'll have plenty of time to re-connect."

"I hope so," Kate says with a hopeful nod.

"Christian tells me you're an editor at his recently acquired publishing company," Carrick interrupts us.

"Yes sir," I tell him, nervous now that Carrick is finally speaking to me.

"And Kate is an event planner with Mia…." Carrick continues, "It's good to see you boys with women who have brains on their shoulders."

The front door bell rings, and Grace immediately stands up. "I'll get the door," she says happily, "Please continue to talk."

I snuggle in closer to Christian and he lightly kisses a soft spot behind my ear. "You're so good…." He whispers, "Only someone as good as you would be able to tolerate Kate Kavanagh after all she has done."

I snort, "Trust me. I don't really plan on tolerating her often."

He nods, "How about I pretend to give you a tour of the house…. And we get lost."

"Let's go…." I whisper, practically tugging him out of his seat. "That sounds perfect right about now."

Before we are even able to stand up, Grace is back with our newest visitor.

"Christian, darling," Grace says as my heart sinks, "Milania is here, and she desperately needs to speak with you."

Kate looks over at me with concern at Milania Turotti steps forward. Her long brown hair flows artfully down her back as the tight black dress she wears clings to the small curves on her body. She smiles seductively at Christian and it takes everything in me not to want to claw her eyes out.

"Christian, please. This is important," Milania asks of him. He turns to me and nervously searches my expression for something, anything to let him know that I will be ok. I nod my head and he stands up. Milania smiles salaciously as Christian follows her down the hallway. A dreadful thought enters my mind - What does Miliania want with Christian and what did I just send him off to go do?

**Before I realized what was happening, Mia and Kate both pulled me down the hallway and over to Carrick's study. **Apparently, this is where Miliania and Christian went to discuss whatever Miliania wanted to discuss with him. Mia shakes her head and sighs.

"I hate Miliania…. She's a hot Italian-Puerto Rican bitch," Mia hisses, "I was relieved when she was finally gone, but I guess I was wrong."

"Why does she keep coming back?" Kate asks.

Mia shakes her head, "I don't know…. Christian just seems to have this weird destructive relationship with her. I'll never understand it. Her family is old family friends of ours... but really, enough is enough."

"You ok?" Kate asks, sympathetically holding onto my hand. I move it quickly away.

"Not really…"

"He is crazy about you," Mia says, defending me, "He is happy…. Something he never was with Milania. Ok, he may have been happy with her in the bedroom, but that is it."

Mia may have meant well, but I feel sick to my stomach as disgusting pictures flash through my mind. We suddenly hear their steps head for the door, and all three of us instantly fly down the hallway in hopes they don't catch us eavesdropping.

Milania quickly moves for the front door and promptly exits. I hope this means Christian kicked her to the curb forever. Christian finds me moments later, his expression impassive.

"Let's go home."

"But dinner isn't over yet…" I tell him.

"Ana, home, now please…." Christian begs as he practically pulls me out the door.

He pulls me to the car, and I am dumbfounded. We didn't even say goodbye to Mia or his parents. He definitely seems angry, and I am so nervous about what he could possibly be angry about. He pulls me in the car, and slams the door behind him. He falls in next to me, and looks straight ahead- he won't even look at me.

"Christian, what happened…." I ask him, "We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to your mother." He shakes his head, his eyes still looking straight forward. "Christian, please tell me what happened with Milania."

"How do you even know about Milania?" he snaps, but he suddenly looks clued in, "Mia, probably…. Oh shit, it was Evelyn…. Evelyn told you about Milania."

I nod, "Christian, what happened?"

He runs his hands through his hair and takes a deep breath. "What I am about to tell you effects nothing…. I am not getting back together with her…. Nothing is going to throw us. We're solid, you understand me?"

"Of course…. Christian, what's wrong?"

He takes in a deep breath and forces out his next words, "Milania is pregnant…."

"And?"

He nods, "Ana…. It's mine."


	9. A View of Things to Come

**A/N – Wow, again – the response was massive! You guys are awesome! Because you gave me such a huge response, I got super inspired to answer some lingering details. I am under a bit of a time constraint so please forgive any small errors you may see. Also, if I missed something that you need explained – please let me know. I want to make sure everything is answered before we move on, and I am human – I miss stuff. Thanks again! This chapter is due to YOU guys! This is my way of thanking you! Lol **

**I don't own FSOG and please keep the comments coming! **

**Chapter 9 – A View of Things to Come**

**Ana**

** When we return home, I don't want to even look at him.** I am mad about so damn much. I even have a pretty impressive list forming inside my brain of all the shit I am mad about. I am mad that Milania exists. I am mad that I had to hear about her from Evelyn and not from him. I am mad that she is pregnant with his kid, and I am mad that she is most likely lying to him. I hate that she put him in this position – he was a man whore, but I know him, he'll do the right thing. He will take care of this child with his life because he or she is his blood. Beneath his fucked up past, there is a good man who wants to do what is right.

I walk to our bedroom in silence, and Christian follows me dutifully. I quickly slide out of my dress and begin looking for one of his shirts. I am tired, and I need sleep. Milania's bombshell has sucked all the life out of me today.

"Ana…." He murmurs softly.

I ignore him and keep moving. I'm really not in the mood to talk to him right now. I need some time to think.

"Ana…. Baby, please," he pleads with me, "Stop."

I turn around and stare him down. He looks wounded and defeated, and I know he is begging to get inside my brain. I try to think of something.

"I need to know more about you and Milania…. Getting information solely from my sister isn't going to fly. I am a big girl, you don't need to protect me."

He sighs, "It's my first instinct…. I can't help it."

"Help it…. For me, please," I plead, "Now that you're tied to her…. If we stop talking to each other, if we stop communicating – we're going to shrivel up and die."

He nods and takes a seat on the bed. He motions for me to join him, and I sit close to the edge. He closes his eyes, "My Dad is friends with Milania's Dad…. They've worked together so I've always known her. She has been in my life since I was very young. We lost our virginity at a very young age together, fifteen, and we started dating our senior year in high school and continued on through college …."

"That is young," I say, surprised by how quickly Christian lost his innocence.

"We were young and stupid," he continues, "Well, I later find out that she cheated on me when we were twenty and I completely kicked her out of my life. I wouldn't even speak to her… I was so fucking mad. It has been in the last couple years that she has made a re-appearance, that I have allowed her a spot back in my good graces."

"Re-appearance?"

He sighs, "We've carried out a sexual relationship whenever when we needed it, and whenever the other one wasn't with someone else."

Well fuck. "That sure is…. Healthy."

"After how bad she played me…. I have been determined to never let her back in. I kept her at an arm's length..."

"But you did let her back in," I point out, "Women see sex as something more emotional."

"Milania has never been like that…."

_Oh sweet, naïve Christian_. "She lost the right to have you, so now she is trying to have you no matter what the stipulations are…. She's made you see that the sex isn't a big deal to her, but it is… I don't know how it can't be."

He stares at me for a second, possibly trying to understand my words. He takes in a deep breath and shakes his head. Obviously, he doesn't want to hear this. He obviously assumed that his relationship with Milania was innocent, but I don't think innocent is in Milania Turotti's vocabulary.

"Maybe," he sighs, "I don't know."

"So when did this happen…. Did you sleep with her when we were together? Or even when we were friends with benefits?" I ask. I know the answer is going to be no, I just need to hear him say that.

He blanches, as if I hit him. "Absolutely not," he breathes, "After I had you – do you think I could go to anyone else?"

I melt, I can't help it. "So when?"

"Well…. It was after I met you at the radio station. I could not stop thinking about you…. But Miliania was in need of comfort and I was around. Her ex broke up with her, and she was upset…. But Ana, I thought about you the entire time. I couldn't get you out of my head," he tells me, his voice going hoarse.

"Yeah…" I nod, "When I was with RC in California…. I thought of you too…"

His smile perks up for the first time tonight, "Really?"

"God, this is the worst time to mention this," I tell him, "But yes…. I couldn't get you out of my head either."

He looks hopeful as he leans over to kiss me. "See… this doesn't have to throw us. Even when we were with other people… we could only think of each other. I love you, and I can't let you leave me."

I take in a deep breath, "But things are going to be different."

He nods and his face falls, "And I can't help that. Ultra sound appointments, doctor's visits, helping her get what she needs…. I can't leave her in the cold."

"But there is a possibility this kid isn't yours…" I remind him.

"I know… she could be bullshitting me, but I can't take that chance," he murmurs, eyes raw, "I know what it is like to be abandoned…. I couldn't bear to do that to either of them."

He's given me a small look into his life before Carrick and Grace adopted him, and I suddenly understand why he is reacting like this. The way he was treated as a child was abhorrent, and I know he wouldn't want that to happen to his own flesh and blood. He is going to be there at every step of the way for Milania, and he is going to be a damned good father.

I didn't realize there were tears spilling from my eyes until he begins wiping them away. "We're going to have our own kid…. You'll see. Please, don't give up on me."

"I'm scared," I whisper through my tears, "She is going to take you from me."

He shakes his adamantly, "Absolutely not."

"How do you know…," I ask him, "How do you know – she is prettier than me…."

"Stop it," he snaps, "Don't you dare go there. You don't play mind games with me, you love me unconditionally, you're my heart…. You're everything she isn't – I don't know how you can't see it. Don't give up on me – please. Promise me Ana, don't give up on me…."

"I promise," I tell him, "I'm sorry…. You've been put in a terrible situation."

He nods, "I know, but …. It's going to be fine."

He pulls me back onto the bed with him, and I rest my head on his chest. I have him in this moment, and that's all that should matter. She may think she can weasel her way in, but what we have is stronger than that. I have to believe that we are stronger than this.

"My parents loved you…" he whispers in my ear, "My Dad liked Milania, until she cheated on me, but he loved you. You're in."

I smile, "Good… we need to spend more time with them."

"Agreed. Mia liked you too…. I'm sorry Elliot felt you up. I am going to fuck him up later for that."

I laugh, and I feel him smile for the first time tonight. "Don't kill your brother over me."

He suddenly tenses and kisses me on the forehead. "I'd do anything for you…"

I try not to cry at his words, and I am thankfully interrupted by the sound of my cell phone. I get up to answer it, and I feel a sense of relief when I see my mother's name flash across the screen.

"Hey Mom," I answer, moving into the closet.

"Hey baby girl…. I am calling to see if you are coming to the family campout in a couple of weeks – I know you have a big fancy job now… but I also heard you're dating your boss…." She tells me as I giggle, "Speaking of your boss…. Bring him? Your mother would like to meet him."

I lower the phone and turn to Christian, "We have a family campout in a couple weeks, you've been invited. Don't worry - we'll be in cabins… Carla Adams doesn't do tents"

"Damn right," Mom mutters in my ear.

"And maybe she'll give us our own cabin."

"We can talk about that later," she replies back.

He smiles and nods, "I'll make it work. I'd love to meet your family."

I smile, comforted that he wants this. "Ok, he has been officially informed, but Mr. Boss Man needs details sooner rather than later."

"Sounds good," Mom chirps, "I need details…. I haven't talked to you in forever…. Everything I know has come from Evelyn."

I quickly move out of the room, motioning to Christian that I need to speak to my Mom in private. He nods, and moves to the closet to get ready for bed. I quickly find the library and lock myself beneath it's walls. Suddenly and without warning, I feel my legs buckle underneath me and my tears begin to fall.

I hear my mother's sympathetic sigh on the other end. "…Oh sweetie… tell me everything."


	10. The Media Storm

**A/N – So I want to clear something up real quick – Ana dropped all communication with Sloane in Chapter 7. The phone call she made at the end of the chapter- that was to him. I apologize for not making that very clear. Thanks guys for hanging with me – I am anxious to get the reconciliation so that's why the breakup seems fast and short. If there is something you want me to visit before I get there, I am open for suggestions. **

**I don't own FSOG and thank you again for your awesome responses! You guys are great!**

**Also – Here is another short chapter. Again, my life is weird this week so this will be the best you can get from me – I apologize for anyone who hates it. I could just not post for an entire week, but I think the majority would prefer this and I am anxious to move things along. (well, I think they would)**

**Chapter 10 – The Media Storm **

**Two Weeks Later – Ana**

**I knew this moment was coming, but I wasn't sure when I should be expecting it. **Honestly, these past two weeks have been perfect. After hearing of Christian and Milania's lovechild – our life has been surprisingly quiet. He speaks to Milania about certain details concerning the child, and then they're done. Milania hasn't been around, and she goes to see him on her time. Christian has been one hundred percent forthcoming about every conversation and every meeting and I feel as if I have nothing to worry about.

Our lives haven't changed. We go to work, Christian sends me flowers everyday (I think he is overcompensating for the situation we've been thrust into) and then we come home. He is attentive, and sweet, and sexy, and I love him. We make love in our bedroom, and he fucks me everywhere else. He has taken good care of me and life has been good.

Life has been great – until this evening.

Christian had a doctor's appointment with Milania and then a meeting with Evelyn's department. I was brought home immediately after work, and I was more than shocked to see Evelyn waiting for me in the lobby of Escala. I invited the sad imitation of my sister upstairs to talk about whatever is on her mind.

"Alright Evs," I say, pointing at a glass of wine and bowl of popcorn, "Something is up and I have wine and popcorn…. Spill. Shouldn't you be at the PR meeting with Christian, anyway?"

She takes in a deep sip of her wine and forces out a smile. "I quit."

I feel my jaw hit the floor. "You did what?"

"Ana…. You need to let Christian explain to you why I quit. It is not good."

I feel my heart fall inside my chest. "What happened?"

Just as I ask that question, Christian steps through the door. His tie is undone, and his hair is a mess. He looks like he has just been through a tornado. He stops when he sees us and forces out a smile.

"Evelyn, we talked about you telling her things before I am ready….."

Evelyn immediately scowls at his insinuation, "Well…. Maybe if you actually told her shit." What the hell? Why is she acting like this?

"Alright," I snap, "She hasn't told me anything – so Evelyn, would you mind stepping out so we can talk?"

She nods, "Yeah, I need to get home…. I have a new job to look for."

Christian immediately stops her, "I can find you another place to work…."

"I don't want to work for you," she snaps at him.

He only calmly nods, as if he understands her hostility – _seriously,_ _what the hell happened? _"You won't have to work for me if you don't want to – I obviously have connections. I do have a spot open for you at GEH…. But I will find you a place to work, no matter what you want."

She nods and walks out of the room, leaving us alone. "What was that about?" I finally ask, "Why did Evelyn quit….?"

He places his brief case on the ground and takes a seat at the breakfast bar. He downs the wine in front of him and immediately sets it back in its spot.

"I had a meeting with the PR department this evening."

I nod, "Evelyn mentioned that."

"They have a plan to diffuse the Milania situation…." He says, looking at me apprehensively, "Milania plans to make the announcement soon, and considering the hit my reputation has taken lately…. They had a solution that I rejected this evening. It's the reason why Evelyn no longer works for me."

"What is the solution?"

"They want Milania to be my "real life" girlfriend…." He murmurs - eyes still plastered to me.

I feel the ice flooding my veins. "What?" I snap.

"They're throwing around expressions like "meant to be" and "finally finding each other after all this time"…. they think the idea of me starting a family will bring more business to my doorstep."

Fuck. I have to sit down for this. "Don't you have plenty of business?" I ask, realizing that my words sound like a hoarse hiss.

He puts his hand on top of mine. "I rejected the idea tonight. Evelyn quit because they were certain I'd follow it, and wouldn't hear of anything else…."

"Evelyn is out of a job, and I have been replaced…."

"No you aren't," he says adamantly, "I told those assholes to try again. No fucker is going to tell me how to live my life, no matter the situation."

The more I think about their plan, the more it actually makes sense. This little fucked up situation is going to look terrible in the media, and I am going to be seen as the home wrecker. I am the reason Milania Turotti and Christian Grey can't start their family, I am going to be seen as the reason why the perfect child will be born to broken parents. Fuck.

"I see the wheels spinning in your head," he says as he clasps my hands, "I don't care. I want you, and that's it."

"So is everything going to continue as normal? Once the announcement is out…."

"We'll be followed a lot and I am stepping up security… Her popularity has only risen these last few years. Our lives are about to drastically change and I don't think I can be sorrier for it…"

I nod, "It's ok…."

"And… the PR Department will also look over your image as well. I don't want bullshit written about you in magazines, and I don't want some blonde reporter calling you a home wrecker – they will diffuse all of those situations as well," he tells me, "I want Evelyn leading that charge…. Can you convince her to come back to defend her sister's good name?"

I nod, "I will work on her, but I am not promising anything….

He leans over to kiss me. "Good…. I love you."

"I love you too…."

**When he said our lives would change, he was absolutely right. **We have had the paparazzi on us since the moment the announcement was made. I am surprised that I haven't been attacked yet, but it is only Monday.

When I get to work the morning of the announcement, the whole place is watching me. I feel the eyes on my back and I have never felt more uncomfortable. Everyone working under me is cautious, and my fellow editors have followed their lead. I am being treated with kid gloves, and I hate it.

"Hello," Parrish says as he slips into my office soon after I get my morning tea, "You doing ok?"

"Of course I am doing ok…." I tell him as I drop a few manuscripts on my desk, "Can people stop treating me like a kid today? I am not the first girl who has had a boyfriend with a pregnant ex-girlfriend."

"No, you're right – but you are probably the first to have said "ex-girlfriend" give a press conference."

I feel the air leave my lungs. "What?"

He nods, "Milania Turotti is talking to Access Seattle about her pregnancy announcement soon after we finish our morning meetings… You down for watching it together…"

Slut, bitch, fucking hoe ass bitch, fucking trashy hooker. "Fine," I nod, trying to keep my inner profane monologue inside my brain. I have decided to myself that any women in my situation should be given the right to cuss whenever she likes, and without judgment.

"Can't wait," Parrish says, tapping my door, "You're made of Steel, Steele…."

**To say I didn't rush through my morning meetings would be a lie. **I was anxious to join Chris in the TV room to hear whatever pieces of bullshit that Milania might have in her pocket to spew to an eager crowd. Chris nods with a smile when I enter.

"You alright?"

I nod, "Peachy."

He laughs, "I agree – this sucks. But, remember – we are a publishing company. We can print whatever shit we want about her.

The tea I am sipping spews immediately from my nose. "You always keep me laughing when shit hits the fan," I tell him with a smack.

He cackles, "I love it when you cuss…. That is one thing I give Grey credit for – he took a librarian and turned her into a hot librarian from most guys' wet dreams. You know - the librarians that take their hair down, pop their tops open, and dance on the tables…."

"I hate you." I say with another smack. I smile secretly to myself – I didn't realize any man, outside Sloane or Christian, ever thought of me that way.

Access Seattle's logo flashes across the screen and the entire room goes quiet. Milania's gorgeous face fills the screen and the interviewer begins talking to her about her life, and recent career high. They talk candidly and I feel the acid fill my veins. She is beautiful, and eloquent – I would have said something completely ridiculous by now, but she is a natural. She knows how to work the camera and say all the right bullshit.

She is beautiful and seems grounded. She talks about her family, and her little sister who she declares to love with all her heart. She may be a world recognized Super model, but I see part of myself in her. I am fucking screwed.

When she begins talking about the pregnancy, I am hanging on every word. "So, how is your relationship with your baby's father?"

She sighs dramatically, "We're friendly, but I miss him…."

"You've known each other for a while?" she asks, cocking her head to the side.

She nods happily, "My entire life. I have always pictured myself with him…."

"But you cheated on him."

"I was twenty and stupid…. I didn't know any better. I miss him, and I wish he would listen to me," she sighs, "He has a girlfriend, and I feel as if he is a part of my life out of duty. He was my best friend, and now we are only acquaintances having a baby together."

"Isn't that how it always is?" the interviewer replies back to Milania, "The good men always have a girlfriend."

"And Christian is the best…. He deserves happiness – I just wish it was with me." Before I can say anything to Parrish, he is one step ahead of me.

"Fuck, I see exactly what she is doing," Chris whispers in my ear, "I don't want your name dragged through the mood because of one evil, manipulative bitch."

"She seems nice," I whisper.

He shakes his head, "You obviously have never dated a supermodel…. Call Christian's office now. Isn't that Evelyn's new job – being your PR Bitch?"

I nod, "Yeah."

"Call her. Now. Set up a meeting with Milania. Set that bitch straight. If she thinks she can run your name through the mud just because you're a normal, beautiful human being – she has another thing fucking coming."

I nod, reaching for my cell phone. "I'm on it…"


	11. This Means War

**A/N – Ok, I hope you like the direction I took with this. I am on a bit of a time constraint so this didn't get edited to my satisfaction, but I am hoping you still enjoy. **

**I don't own FSOG and please let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 11 – This Means War**

**Ana **

** I move immediately back to my office, and notice Hannah waiting for me at the door. **

"I need Mr. Grey on the phone immediately."

"Good," she says, pointing to my phone, "Because you left your cell in your office, and so he called the office line. He is on line one…."

Fantastic, I am sure he will not be irrational, and he'll stay calm during the entirety of our conversation. I walk inside and immediately click to get line one on my phone. As soon as I am over, he speaks.

"I am dealing with her…. Don't worry," he grumbles, "You have nothing to worry about."

"I have nothing to worry about?" I snap at him, "I think I have something to worry about – she is doing exactly what I thought she'd do. She is making me seem like the bad guy…. She is going to turn her "Milan" Army, her nickname for her fans, against me. She is using the press to sell the story of her lost love. I am going to be fucking LeAnn Rimes to the world…. I don't want to be fucking LeAnn Rimes. I am going to be the reason you two can't live happily ever after – people love that bullcrap. I have to talk to her…."

"Absolutely not," he hisses, "I am not letting you near her."

"Why?" I snap again, "This is ridiculous, we need a woman on woman talk. You can't solve everything."

"Like hell I can't."

"You can either give me her number or Evelyn can…. Your choice. I was going to call Evelyn anyway," I remind him.

"Why do you need to call her?" he asks, completely irritated.

"Because you poop head, this is my reputation and my name she wants to sling around. You know how the press is – once they get a story, I'll be on every single damn cover with the word 'home wrecker' plastered across my face – AND YOU TWO WEREN'T EVER MARRIED!"

"That's absurd…."

"That's the media," I fire back.

"Did you just call me a poop head?" he asks amused.

"Don't change the subject, you ass…. Give me her number."

He sighs, "Fine, but you call me the minute you're done and you let me know if she says anything to you. We are taking care of the press on our end – I am making sure of that."

"Oh, Mr. Control Freak. Good luck trying to control the press…. Even you can't handle them," I remind him.

"Ha," he scoffs, "You're cute that you think that…."

I hang up after he gives me Milania's number, and immediately dial her. She doesn't pick up which I don't understand why because the interview was taped, so I leave her a message on her voicemail.

"If you're ready to stop acting like a child – call me."

I leave her my number, and hang up the phone, feeling surprisingly light in the face of much uncertainty.

**I am shocked when Christian isn't in the car to pick me up after work, and I am even more surprised to see TV cameras in our living room. **When I search through the apartment for my boyfriend, I notice that Christian is being touched up with makeup, and hating every minute of it. I lean over and leave a soft kiss on his undone side, and he emits a small groan.

"I haven't touched you all day," he huffs.

"Well obviously that is going to change since you're making a porno," I point out as he lightly chuckles, "I mean what else are the cameras are for?"

"I am firing back," he replies, "She is telling the world that this child is mine, and she doesn't even know…. Nightline has been begging me for years to do an interview, and I thought while they were here, I could set the record straight."

"Thank God…" I say as I clasp his hand, "This is sudden."

"What can I say?" he says nonchalantly, "The press is controlled by two things…. a good story and money."

I smile, "Can I watch?"

"I was hoping you would…." He says as he suddenly moves for his pocket, "Shit… I need to take this."

I see an "M" on the caller ID, and I cringe. Of course she is calling now. He moves out of the room, and I get ready for the interview. Christian is going to be uncensored and I have a front row seat, I can't wait.

**The interview begins, and they start small. **They ask questions about business and the questions and answers are relatively bland. Business is good for Grey Enterprises, INC and so they don't focus too long on anything that wouldn't seem controversial. Despite setbacks, Christian's company is booming, and Christian remains one of the most influential men in the world. They praise him for his efforts, and he adorably stays stern through all of it.

They quickly move along their topic of conversation and begin talking about the recent attacks on his "family friendly" image. He has had a lot of women come in and out of his bedroom doors, and he has a lot to answer to because of it. He can't have a normal sex life like any other twenty eight year old man; he is the CEO of a highly successful corporation and often in the public eye. Aside from pop stars, actors, and politicians - I doubt anyone else's sex life is this highly scrutinized.

"Alright Christian, we have to talk about the elephant in the room….. Tell me about your current relationship with Milania Turotti….," the interviewer asks.

"She was a former girlfriend of mine, and we've had a relationship for as long as I can remember. Our families are old friends, and our paths cross on a consistent basis," he tells him, "She cheated on me when we were younger and our relationship has never been the same."

"Have you forgiven her?"

He stops, and turns to look at me. "Yes, I have," he nods, "When she cheated, we were in our early twenties. Neither of us quite understood what it took to make a healthy relationship work, and I don't blame her for being young and naïve."

"So you're friends now?"

He nods, "Only friends, I have a girlfriend."

"So how did Milania get pregnant when you have a girlfriend?"

"I am not going into details, but we were together for a short time before I got together with my current girlfriend," he tells him.

He clarified with me before the interview that he would do this – speak in bland generalities instead of telling the interviewer point blank that "we hooked up one night and I knocked her up". So in this situation "short time together" is code for – we had a one night stand. He wants to set the record straight, but he doesn't want to go into gory details – for that, I am thankful.

"A few people are asking," The interviewer continues, "Is her baby yours or could it be Gustav Onik's baby?"

Finally, the moment I have been waiting for. Milania is not a saint and got caught in this situation herself. There are two men who should be scrutinized for this – not just Christian.

"I am the father….," he says immediately as I feel my heart stop, "This is not Gustav's baby."

I drop the IPad I am holding and Christian's face immediately turns to me. Guilt fills his beautiful face I am so fucking glad. He should feel guilty; he told me he was going to set the record straight – not pull fucking Milania out of her baby daddy jam. She got herself into this mess, and she should get herself out of it. I walk away and move straight to the library. I need to be alone – I can't fucking look at him right now.

**I don't know when I eventually fell asleep, but suddenly I feel a hand graze my skin. **When my brain registers that it is Christian, I immediately push him away. I may be half asleep, but I know a traitor when I feel one.

"Ana, please," he begs as I finally pry my eyes open.

"No," I snap at him, sitting up, "I cannot believe you did that to me. You had the perfect opportunity to set the record straight and you told everyone exactly what they knew before."

I suddenly realize there are a blanket and a pillow sitting at the end of the couch. "I brought those for us," he says when he notices that I see them.

"You aren't sleeping in here with me…. You don't deserve that."

"She called me Ana…. Before the interview," he tells me, his hands going through his copper hair, "Her Mom is embarrassed by her actions, and she didn't want the world to know what she had done. She comes from an old traditional family, and they're serious about that shit. So she knew I was doing this interview, and pleaded with me to keep her story and not tell everything I knew."

I feel the tears form in the corners of my eyes. "So you picked her reputation over mine?"

"Ana, baby, no…."

"They are going to vilify me," I explain, enunciating every word, "When the world has its celebrity couple – they'll do anything to keep it intact. Fuck, they did it to Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt and you've just turned me into Angelina Jolie. I have done NOTHING and I am going to be the villain."

"They'll talk about us for a week, and then they'll move on…."

He doesn't get it. "Are you listening to me?" I plead with him, "I am the other woman. I'll always be the other woman."

I shake my head and suddenly, I see my future. "Fuck Christian, Not just to the press and the media – when she is without the father of her kid, I am going to be the reason. Either way we look at this, I am the villain. Fuck, its all coming to me now – after those first two weeks, I thought this was going to be a painless process. Obviously, I am a naïve idiot."

"We can get through this together, we'll come up with a plan or a system," he tells me, reaching for my hand, "I don't want you to beat yourself up or feel this way. I will take care of everything."

"Like you took care of this interview," I snap at him. He blanches, and I reach for the pillow and blanket. I settle into the pillow and Christian continues to sit, watching my every move. I don't want to talk to him. He doesn't get it, and it fucking sucks.

"Ana…. Please tell me we're ok," he breathes, "I can't go into that bed alone knowing that you hate me."

For the first time since we've been together, I can't give him a happy answer.

**As I predicted, my face is everywhere, usually with a squiggly line or an "X" crossed through my name and face. **"Whore" and "home wrecker" are words commonly used when they reference me, and with the lack of touching between Christian and me this week, they've even predicted our breakup – lovely. I shake my head at the "home wrecker" comments – they obviously don't know any better. I try not to think too deeply about the "whore" comments, they all make me want to sob like a child, and I can't do that right now. I need to stay strong, looking weak means that they won.

Actual real life with Christian is awkward. I know he wants to say so many things to me, but he just can't. I can't either. We haven't had a conversation that lasted longer than five words in several days. It is killing me – I miss my man, but I can't talk to him right now. Our lines of communication are severely strained and I don't know how to fix them. He has even made several appearances with Milania. Of course, they are all shopping trips and one doctor's appointment, but I have seen every minute of their trips photographed through paparazzi pictures.

With Christian and me barely speaking, I try to throw everything into work. I need the solace of something I can control to feel as if I am in order. I shake my head and try to smile – maybe I am more like Christian then I realized.

"Ana…" Hannah calls through the phone, "Before your Friday meeting, you have a call on line one."

"Who?" I ask, setting back down my presentation notes for my meeting.

"Milania Turotti."

Fuck. "Send her through," I say, picking up the phone.

"If you need back up," Hannah adds, "Just let me know."

I snicker as Milania's voice quickly replaces Hannah's. "I am going to make this short and sweet," she tells me, her deep Italian accent coming through, "I love him, and I am ready to fight you for him."

"God, I love supermodels, they always assume they can take whatever they want," I snap back, "Have you always been an egotistical bitch?"

She snickers, "Well… well… well – I finally see what Christian sees in you. You're feisty."

I don't like the way she calls me feisty. "Shut up. I don't know what sick little hold you have over him, but you need to drop your magic curse. You're self-destructive and all you will do is take him down to your level."

"You know nothing about me, or the relationship we once had."

"I know plenty," I tell her, "Lost your virginity's to each other at fifteen, you cheated on him by twenty, and have been on and off fuck buddies with him ever since – yeah, you sound like a real winner."

"And he is going to be mine." I picture her cackling like Ursula from the Little Mermaid. The thought makes me laugh, and I try not to giggle while I am on the phone with her.

"Is this baby even his?" I ask her, "It has to be Gustav's…."

"Yeah," she says with her bitch tone, "It is Gustav's but he is the lead singer of the "Sex Orgies." Christian is stable, strong, and I love him. He'll be a fantastic father."

My heart tears slightly, he will be a fantastic father. The more time passes, the more I doubt I'll be able to find this out for myself.

"Listen, I'm done. This is obviously going nowhere."

"Goodbye Anastasia," she says with happy sigh as she hangs up.

I immediately call Christian; he should know that she admitted that the baby is Gustav's. With the way he has been acting, I doubt he'll care. He'll just go buy more baby stuff with her. I also want to know if he still plans on attending my family camp out this weekend. We're leaving tonight, and I can already tell he'll be the last one to arrive, if he comes at all.

"Anastasia," he says, picking up on the second ring.

"I talked to Milania, she told me that the baby was Gustav's."

He sighs, obviously exasperated with her, "She is going to tell you that to rile you up. She doesn't even know herself."

I want to punch him. Whatever. "And I want to know if you're going to be attending my family camping trip. I sent you a text message earlier, but you never replied."

"I am going to be late, but I still would like to go – if I am still invited."

"You're invited," I tell him, "I didn't think you'd want to come."

"I do," he tells me, "None of what has happened changes anything – I still believe that we can get through this, and I really want to meet your family."

I nod, willing myself to feel better. "Ok, well… I guess I'll talk to you later.

He groans sadly, "Ana, your sister's team is working on the tabloid bullshit. I am going to fix all of this."

I want to believe that he can fix this, but I can't help but think that he is already too late.


	12. The Camping Trip (Part 1)

**Chapter 12 – The Camping Trip Part 1**

**Ana **

** This drive has been excruciatingly long**. Evelyn and I's destination is Port Angeles, Washington where Sol Duc Hot Springs Resort is located. I am excited, I need to get away. I need to stop thinking about all of this ridiculous drama, and have some time with people who know me and love me unconditionally. I don't want to talk about him, but despite my best efforts, I am not sure I am going to make it out of this car without talking about Christian at least once.

"Stop looking at me like that," I plead with Evelyn.

"Like what?" Evelyn asks so innocently I could barf.

"We are not discussing Christian so you can stop that right now."

Evelyn sighs and in true Evelyn Adams fashion – she completely ignores my request. "Christian is trying…. of course, not in the right way. He thinks he is doing what is right, and he won't take suggestions on how to actually fix the Milania problem. He is a man – they're all idiots."

"Are you defending him?" I snap at her.

"Absolutely not," she fires back, "What I am saying – he is doing something, but I really think he is just clueless when it comes to the media... and Milania Turotti. Every good man has been taken down by a Supermodel vagina."

"I am done talking about this…. And ew," I tell her as we pull into the front entrance, "Thank god… that was the longest two hours of my life."

"Wow, real nice," Evelyn says, sounding slightly wounded.

"Sorry," I tell her, "You have just been looking at me like I am a wounded animal since the moment we took off from Seattle…. "

She shrugs sadly, "I'm sorry. I am just trying to help."

Fuck, I hate upsetting my sister. "Evelyn, I am sorry…. I am being such a bitch. I am just…"

"Stressed," she says, completing my statement, "I get it. No problem."

We smile and I continue down the path to where our cabins are located. My mom called earlier telling me where to go and how I get down to where our cabins are located. This resort is highly functional and just plain swanky, I doubt actual "camping" will be taking place. I am just excited to see my mom. I haven't talked to her much since I moved to Seattle, and I have needed her. These past couple months have been tough, and I need some much needed Carla Adams -crazy ass Mother Quality time.

I drive toward the welcome sign and come to an immediate stop when I see what is written. My jaw hits the floor and I shake my head in protest. This cannot be happening right now.

"Oh my god," I breathe as I stare at the sign in front of me, "You've gotta be freaking kidding me."

When Evelyn sees the sign, she bursts into a fit of laughter. "This is going to be fun," Evelyn cackles mischievously, "Really fun. It's actually quite perfect."

_Welcome the Adams and Sloane Families to Sol Duc Hot Springs Resorts_

I talked to my mother an hour ago, and she said nothing. Why didn't she say anything to me about Sloane's family being here? Unless they are staying at the opposite side of the resort, but I highly doubt that will happen, especially if Sloane had anything to do with this. I press my foot to the gas and inch closer to where we are staying. Carla Adams has a lot of explaining to do.

When I round the corner, I see them. Standing in the parking lot in front of our cabins is my mom, Bob, a few of my aunts and uncles on Bob's side, and Sloane's parents. I get out of the car, and my mom makes a be-line for me.

"Hey baby girl! You made it!" she says as she wraps her arms around me. I try to push her off in protest.

"Why didn't you tell me that Sloane's family was going to be here?" I snap, "What the hell Mom?"

She looks innocently naïve, "What? Didn't I mention that?"

"Are you serious Carla, I know your game. What are you trying to do to me?"

She shakes her head and leans in closer to my ear. "I don't know if you know my daughter, but she is smart and beautiful and she is being treated like shit by her current boyfriend. Sloane's Mother feels the same way."

"Sloane lied to me about Kate, remember that…." I protest.

"And she knows that…. And she has talked to him, and I have never seen a man more regretful of his actions…. Sloane loves you, and I think this weekend together will do you both a lot of good," she whispers in my ear, "I should have told you he was coming, but I didn't want you to pussy out…."

"Carla Adams," I gasp in shock.

She snickers and places my face in her hands, "There's my girl."

"You know he is still coming, right?" I tell her, "You're going to make this excruciatingly awkward for me with Christian when he gets here."

She smirks gleefully, "I know!"

At that moment, RC turns the corner, followed by his younger brothers. RC has three brothers, all mini-versions of their big brother but minus the tattoos. He is adorably sweet with them, and I melt to butter when I see how well he cares for and protects them.

He sees me, and smiles. He looks good with his black baseball cap, black t-shirt, and grey and blue athletic shorts. His tattoos slide down his especially muscular arms, and I feel the attraction between us that has always been present. I will always be crazy about him, no matter the situation.

"Has he been working out?" I say a little too loud.

My Mom snickers, "That's my girl…."

Suddenly, my cell phone rings and I answer it without checking the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Hey baby," Christian's voice croons, "Did you make it safe?"

I walk off, and I feel RC's eyes focused on me. I walk a little, and try to compose myself before I talk to Christian. I need a special kind of patience for him right now.

"I did…. Thanks for asking," I reply.

"Ana, you don't have to thank me for something that I want to do. I want to look out for you…. Always."

I shake that statement off. I don't know if I believe that anymore. He says he still cares, but after all that has happened recently, I am not sure if he knows how to put his words into action.

"So what's up," I say, trying to move us along, "I know you called for something else besides asking me if I made it here safely."

He takes in a deep breath, and I feel anxiety immediately swim in. This doesn't sound good, I can fucking feel it in my bones.

"Baby, I'm sorry…."

"You're sorry for what?" I interrupt him.

"I won't be able to make it," he continues, "Something came up."

I am burning. My whole body is spewing with acid, and I don't know how to contain it. "What came up," I spit at him, "Milania came up, didn't she?"

He makes a noise, but doesn't say anything. Fuck - that is exactly why he isn't coming. Milania has yet again manipulated this situation and yet again, I am left with the short end of the stick. I will always be his second choice. There is no way around this if he won't make me a priority, we are doomed.

"Yes."

"Fine," I say, "You know what Christian, this is it. I'm done."

"What," he breathes, "Ana wait…"

"No," I yell at him, "You keep doing this, you keep picking her over me, and I have fucking had it. I am not going to live like this. I refuse to be the doormat while you run off and play Daddy and husband to somebody else. You had your chance to choose me, and you fucking blew it. I am done."

"Ana, god…. Let me explain. There is something wrong with …."

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE," I scream at him. Tears are gushing down my face and I am so angry that all I can see is red. "If you want a future with me, you will drive your ass two hours up the state of Washington and you will try to work this out with me, but considering your attendance record lately, I doubt that is going to happen."

I hear a sob on the other line, but I don't stop. I can't stop. "I hate you. I hate that you chose her over me, I hate that I fell in love with you, and I hate that this is tearing me to fucking shreds."

"Ana…. Wait," he sobs.

"I love you, but I can't do this anymore," I say as I finally hang up. In the middle of my rage, I throw my cell phone across the parking lot.

I drop to the ground, crying into my hands as I fall. My chest feels like it's ripping in half, and dragging me across an open field. He hurt me so damn bad, but I still feel like I lost half of me. Like I lost half of my heart, and I just can't stop crying.

I feel arms close in around me, and I lift my head to cry on a shoulder. Small kisses reign down around my head, and I realize that it's RC's arms that are protecting me right now.

"Baby, it is going to be ok…." He whispers into my ear, "He is going to regret it one day…. You are that hard to lose. Trust me."

I continue to cry harder, comforted by the strength of his hold. After a second, RC very swiftly picks me up from the ground with my head still in the crook of his neck, and he carries me to my cabin. I am thankful for the change of location. I need the security of the cabin so I can mourn the demise of the love of my life in complete solitude.

**A/N – Ok, I realize this was short. It is a weird week for me, and it might be better to break the camping trip up into parts anyway. I have a lot planned for it, so we are definitely not done. There is much more insanity left, and I am so excited for you to read all of it! **

**I don't own FSOG, and please forgive errors – like I said, weird week and a lot of time restrictions are on my back. I hope you enjoyed it (the best you could)…. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	13. The Camping Trip (Part 2)

**Chapter 13 – The Camping Trip Part 2**

**Ana**

** I don't remember much of what happened after RC brought me to my cabin, but I must have fallen asleep at some point.** Evelyn eventually woke me up, and before I could process what was going on – I was sitting up in bed and Evelyn was attempting to feed me. When she showed me the plate of my mother's homemade lasagna, I immediately wanted to start crying again. This is what I needed – My momma.

Carla came seconds later, and brought my Aunt Twila and a few of my girl cousins with her. They sat down and I quickly curled up next to my Mom's side. Surprisingly for my Mom, we didn't talk about the breakup, and she didn't ask me a ton of probing questions. All she does is hold me, and that is exactly what I need right now. They spend the hour telling me there are much better fish are in the sea, and my little girl cousins gush about how cute RC and his brothers are.

"They are pretty cute," Aunt Twila remarks, "It wouldn't be the end of the world if you two reconciled…."

I look up at my Mom with a silent plea on my face. She smiles back down at me, and shakes her head. "Twila, girls…. I need to talk to my daughter alone – do you mind?"

They agree to leave, the girls giving me parting sentiments about how Grady Sloane is dreamy. I shake my head, and turn my eyes back to my Mother. When the door finally closes behind them, tears fill her eyes.

"Did I ever tell you about how things ended with me and your father?"

I shake my head, "No. You've never said anything about that to me."

She props herself up on a pillow. "Well, that's because you were a kid when that all went down. Now, you're an adult and you've experienced your first big heartbreak."

"Second…." I remind her.

"Second," she nods, smiling sadly, "Ana…. I loved your father, I don't know if that ever got through to him, or you, or his family, but I did – desperately. But sometimes, love isn't enough. We grew apart, and I wasn't happy anymore. I didn't want you to live like that, seeing me unhappy all the time. I didn't even like your father seeing me like that…"

"It sucks," is all I can force out, "I wish we could get through this."

"I have never been put through anything like that in my life…. I don't envy what you had to do to stay with Christian…. I applaud you for hanging on that long," she tells me as she kisses me lightly at the temple, "It's tough getting over a love like that…. But you'll be ok. I found someone else, and you will too…."

I nod, not really wanting to respond to any of that. She smiles and looks towards the door, "They are passing out ice cream soon… You want some? You get to have all you want…."

"Sounds great," I say, trying to force out a smile. I feel a tiny bit better, but my face is still sore from all the crying.

A few knocks come from the front door, and Mom gets up to answer. When I see RC on the other end, I feel a smile cross my face. He really is a sight for sore eyes.

"Hey…." He says, nodding at me, "Wanna go swimming with me, Grady, Peyton, and Gage?"

My mom's smile widens, "I think this is a fantastic idea. I think it is so good that I am going to leave you two alone."

I inwardly groan. My mother is slightly obsessed with Sloane. She is a sucker for a man with tattoos. She kisses me on the forehead, and she squeezes RC's arm – most likely checking out his hard muscles. She is hopeless.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," I tell RC as soon as my mother is gone.

"You have done enough sulking…. I let you sulk for most of the evening, now it is time to have some fun," he says, moving to my suitcases, "Fuck, please tell me you have that bikini from California. God, I came so hard when you wore that bikini."

I smack him with a nearby pillow, "Sicko."

"Get that hot body into a swim suit," he demands, still rummaging through my stuff.

"Hey," I say, walking across the room to smack him, "You're being rude."

He stands up, and grabs onto my arm. "Outside, now Ana…. Preferably in a bikini."

"I didn't pack those for you," I tell him, "And the one from California isn't in there…. I brought some 'family reunion' appropriate swimwear."

"Whatever it takes," he says, moving toward the door, "I wouldn't want my brothers checking you out…. That's my job."

"We are not back together," I yell at him as he walks for the door, "Just because Christian screwed up doesn't mean you get immediate acceptance back in."

He nods, and steps outside. "We'll see about that…."

**I decide upon my modest black tankini for swimming with Sloane and his brothers. **I need to be careful, and not just with RC. Gage, the second oldest Sloane brother, has a gigantic crush on me, and Peyton, the youngest, is only fifteen so I need to keep it G- Rated despite RC's bikini request.

There are lots of opportunities for swimming at this resort, and RC somehow managed to find the most remote spot to swim this evening. This pool is moderately sized, and lit with bright blue lights. There is a basketball hoop and a hot tub neighboring it. When I walk through, the boys are playing around and Gage suddenly stops. This causes the other three to stop what they're doing, and I see RC smile.

"Hey beautiful," RC calls as he helps me into the pool, "You look good."

"Thanks," I blush under his smoldering gaze.

"Hey Ana…." Gage says, turning instantly red, "RC is right… you look good."

"Jesus Gage," RC laughs, "Just ask her to marry you already…. Geez."

Gage punches RC, "Well, it looks like I have an open opportunity – thanks to you and that rich douche."

"Hey hey hey," Grady says, grabbing my hand, "Get away from these dumbasses Ana, and come to a real man."

Sweet, fifteen year old Peyton pegs Grady with a ball. "You dumbass…." He snorts, "How am I fifteen and so much smarter then you three ass wipes."

**We spend the evening chatting, and I enjoy watching the boys play around. **In true Sloane male fashion, they all have to pull me into the water at least once. I fix my hair after Peyton's attempt, and find my spot back on the ledge.

"You guys ruined my hair," I joke as I shake my head at them.

"Oh whatever," RC mocks me, "You still look beautiful."

"What a line…." I hear come from behind us. Jacqueline, RC's Mom, walks forward with a big grin plastered on her bright face. Jackie Sloane is as beautiful as her four sons with their similar dark complexion, raven hair, and bright green eyes.

"You taught me well Ma," RC says as she leans over for a quick peck on his cheek.

"I guess I needed to teach you better… that was lame," she says, smiling at me, "Well, come on boys – Gage, Grady, and Peyton…. You need to get to bed, and you need to give your brother time to put the moves on Anastasia."

All three boys make kissy noises as they follow their mother out of the pool. "I'm just saying, Ana," Gage says, "If you need a real man – I am in Cabin C."

"Alright jackass…. Goodnight," RC calls back to him.

"Language, Ryker Collin," Jackie snaps at him.

RC immediately turns red, and I can't help but laugh at him. Jackie is one of the few women who can bring RC to heel. He loves his mother, and it's disgustingly adorable.

"Goodnight you two," Jackie says, walking off, "Just put a sock on your door so I know…."

"For the love…. Bye Mom," RC yell back, clearly embarrassed.

"I forgot how great your family was," I say as soon as they're gone.

"I forgot how much they suck sometimes," RC laughs as he takes a seat next to me, "They love busting my chops, but fuck – I think they love you more than me."

I nod, "I don't blame them for that."

He laughs, turning to me, "Wanna go to the hot tub?"

"Sure," I say, feeling adventurous, "As long as you don't get handsy."

"I'm not promising anything," he says, "It's been a while, and you're looking good in that swimsuit."

"I didn't even wear my slutty swimsuit," I protest.

"Yeah….. and I am glad you didn't," he says, stopping suddenly. "Because then I can do this," he says as he swiftly picks me up and chunks me into the pool. I scream and plummet to the bottom of the pool we just got out of. I swim to the surface, and try to find my bearings.

"Ryker Collin Sloane," I scream at him, "You suck!"

"Only Jackie Sloane can call me that," he says with an evil cackle, "Come on – you're really cold now, let's get you to that hot tub."

He helps me out and I smack him one more time before we get into the hot tub neighboring the pool. He kindly holds out a hand to help me in, and I take a seat. He moves next to me, and I take a moment to let the heat lavish my skin. He runs a hand through his hair, and I can't help but swoon. I have a thing for guys with messy hair, and RC's messy hair has always been my favorite to run my hands through. I quickly lay his hair down for him, and he smirks at me.

"Thank you."

"Anytime…." I tell him. He pretends to yawn and places his arm around my shoulders. "Oh my god…. Did you just do the yawn trick that is super lame – Jackie was right, you are lame."

"No," he protests, "My arm just spasms like that sometimes…. I have to put my arm around a pretty girl and it immediately cures any muscle spasms in my arm."

I laugh and he laughs with me. "You doofus."

"I know," he nods adamantly; "I am a doofus."

I take in a deep breath and he softly rubs his thumb across the nape of my neck, his expression burning into mine. He leans over and kisses my temple and takes in a contented sigh. I feel myself naturally moving in closer to him, needing to feel his body against mine.

"I'm sorry," he says softly, "I should have told you the truth from the beginning…. I've regretted it every moment since. I can't even dream of being with anyone else…. I want you. I need you."

I shake my head, "I don't want to talk about that right now. I just want this moment to be peaceful."

He nods, "…. But I do need to know if you forgive me for lying. I need to know that we're ok."

It feels like an eternity since I broke up with RC, and I really don't care about what happened with him anymore. This situation is water under the bridge, and now I'd just like to have my friend back. I know he regrets it, and I think my messed up brain can forgive him right now.

"We're ok. It will take me a while to trust you again, but yeah…. We're ok."

He nods, "I can handle that." He continues to lightly rub the nape of my neck and I fall into his side even further. "I miss you Ana…" he tells me.

"I've missed you too," I respond, "I forgot how good we used to be." My life has been so hectic and complicated with Christian, I forgot what it was like to sit and be normal.

I sit up and we gaze at each other. Without much warning, RC's face moves closer – silently asking for permission to kiss me. I meet him halfway, and our lips slowly mold together. I feel desire pool inside of me, and our kiss deepens. He softly moans as our tongues get involved, and I am lost. I forgot how good he is at this; I forgot what it feels like to be completely absorbed by him. He strokes my face as he continues to lavish me with his lips and tongue. I lean into his hand, needing his touch. I am panting, feeling my desire rise higher the longer we're locked together.

"I was told," a familiar voice breaks through. I unhinge myself from Sloane to see who is speaking to us, and I feel my stomach drop. "That if I got myself up here…. That there was a chance I could fix things with my girlfriend…. But it seems that I am too late."

Christian steps closer, and I can see more clearly that he is seething with rage. He is shaking, and I know he wants to do something about RC and that kiss, but he is containing himself. Good boy, if he goes into a fit of rage – he will lose me.

I stand up, and RC grabs my hand. "Ana…. Don't go."

I shake my head, "I have to talk to him…. I owe him that."

"You owe that bastard nothing," he snaps, eyes on Christian.

"Let her go before I jump into that hot tub and fuck you up," Christian barks at RC, "You're lucky you aren't dead yet…. "

"Really?" RC snaps as he gets up, "You think you'd kill me in a fight…. I'd love to see you try, rich douche."

"Enough," I yell at them, "We can talk in the cabin that was supposed to be ours…."

Christian nods and starts walking into the direction I pointed. RC grabs my hand again and his eyes get desperate. Christian turns back around and scowls.

"Get your hand off her."

"Shut the fuck up," RC bites back, "Ana…. If you need me, let me know. If he does anything…."

"Go away, Sloane," Christian hisses.

I nod and squeeze RC's hand, willing him to leave us before a fight happens between both men. I lead Christian through the path to my cabin and try to control my emotions as we walk. I need to stay calm, cool, and collected. He came for me, and I need to give him a chance to speak for himself. _This should be interesting…._

**A/N – I am so sorry for the cliffhanger, but this really was the best place to end this. Christian and Ana's talk is next, and I wanted to make sure I could give it all of my brain power to write it well. **

**Thank you so much for the response! You guys are the best and a big part of my inspiration! I am about to have my life back again so updates should be much better very soon!**

**I don't own FSOG – I am just fucking with their lives for my own twisted amusement**.


	14. The Camping Trip (Part 3)

**A/N – Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites! You guys are awesome! You can thank my marathon sleep session (3PM – 11PM) for why this chapter is coming to you in the middle of the night. SO my friends on the other side of the globe, I hope you enjoy it first! Lol. I am already predicting interesting reviews for this chapter…. So don't let me down! Lol I don't own FSOG!**

**Music Recommendation – Please Remember Me by Tim McGraw **

**Chapter 14 – The Camping Trip Part 3 **

**Ana**

** We enter the cabin and Christian closes the door behind us.** I find a towel to dry off, trying to keep myself busy in order to stay calm. I don't know how to start this conversation with him, and I want him to make the first move. He drove all this way and he has a lot to answer to, so I want him to be the first to speak. I take a seat at the opposite side of the room, and Christian sits on the ledge of the TV unit. We stay like this in silence for several minutes before one of us breaks the calm.

"I'm afraid," Christian says, shaking his head, "I don't know how to start this conversation with you. I know you hate me, and I know that I've caused this, and I am afraid that I am going to say the wrong thing…."

I nod, "A part of me hates you. A part of me isn't sure what to do anymore."

"You seemed sure of what you wanted in the hot tub with RC," Christian points out bitterly. Christian's jaw clenches harshly at the mention of his name.

"I'm sorry," I immediately tell him, "He was there and he wanted me…. And I didn't expect you to show up. I didn't expect you to care about me anymore. I didn't think you would take my suggestion seriously…."

"Fuck," he hisses as he begins pacing the room, "I did this…. I made you think that I didn't want you anymore, when that is far from the truth."

"Then why do I have to constantly fight for your attention," I ask him, "Why am I constantly feeling second to her…."

"She may not be sure if the baby is mine or not, but right now she has nobody…." He tells me, "Tonight, she thought she was having a miscarriage and I was the only one around to be there for her." A miscarriage… holy hell - that is not what I was expecting. He shakes his head, probably noticing the expression on my face, "It was a false alarm."

"Of course… everything is fine so now you can come to me," I snap, sounding much angrier then I was expecting from myself.

He shakes his head, "I was informed on my way here…. I left as soon as you hung up on me."

I suddenly feel bad for sounding like a brat. "I just don't get how this responsibility falls on you…. Doesn't she have a family?"

"They moved to New York after she graduated high school and they still live there…. I can't leave her alone."

"At the risk of sounding like a complete brat, which is how I feel right now considering everything that has happened thus far, but why can't you leave her alone? Mia said to me at one point that she has a disgusting grip on you, and now I can't help but believe her…."

He runs both hands through his hair, and I see him silently war with himself. He paces back and forth and I wait silently for him to speak. I have a feeling that whatever is about to come out of his mouth is going to be tough for him to talk about.

"When we were fifteen… sixteen…. We were pretty fucking promiscuous," he begins, staring at the ground, "We fucked whenever we wanted to, and we didn't really think about the consequences. I wore condoms, but I got to a point to where I didn't want to anymore…."

He looks up at me, and I nod – pleading for him to continue. He is finally talking, and I don't want him to stop. I used to think he shared everything with me, but by judging the look on his face - I guess I was wrong about that too.

"Go on," I tell him.

"So I didn't…. and, she got pregnant pretty soon after."

I feel my jaw drop open. "What?"

He nods, "Yeah…. I got pissed. I yelled at her, told her that I'd never touch her again…."

"Holy hell…"

He nods, "I am embarrassed by it, mortified by my actions. I can't believe I acted like that to her."

"You were clearly young and dumb," I point out, "So…. what happened?"

He shakes his head, and I think he might even start crying. "She got rid of it."

"What?" I hiss, "An abortion?"

He nods, "Her older sister took her, forged some signatures…. I honestly don't know how she pulled it off without her parents finding out, but she got rid of the baby. She told me a week later, and immediately fell into a subsequent depression. I've never seen anything like it…. Milania was always so full of life and to see her lose herself over something I could have stopped…. Something I did to her…."

"It broke your heart," I finish for him. I wipe a few tears from my eyes, and Christian looks up at me with tears in his too.

Fuck… and I mean fuck. This makes sense. This is why he can't let her go. This is why he has continued to pick her over me - because of the abortion and his subsequent feelings of guilt and obligation.

A vile thought enters my brain - I bet Milania has more than manipulated his mistakes for her own selfish reasons. I bet she has used this to hold onto him over all these years. Hell, she cheated on him and he still has let her back into his life. The disgusting hold that Mia was referring to – this is it. I feel sick, and I have a new found hatred for the bitch.

All of this makes me wonder, can he ever let her go? Is he ever going to be able to get over his lingering feelings of guilt and self-hatred? Will we ever be happy with me or will he always run back to her? Will this sick pull of his to Milania run his life forever?

"And it seems like I've done this again," he says, breaking me from my thoughts, "I've made you unhappy…. And I never wanted you to be unhappy with me. This is what our relationship was based on…. I was your place of solace after RC, and now it seems that the roles have reversed."

"You could do anything to me, and I don't think I would ever love RC the way I love you…." I tell him truthfully.

He takes in a deep breath. "Where do we go from here?" he asks, his voice small, "I love you…"

This is so complicated, and I need to get my mind in order. I love him and I finally understand where he is coming from, but that still doesn't change our issues. "Can you guarantee that leading up to the birth of this child that this won't continue to happen? Your past is your past Christian, and I accept you for that," I tell him, "But I can't be second place with you… I can't live like that anymore…. I've already felt that enough in my life – I can't be second place in your eyes too."

Tears begin to pour down his face, and he tries to wipe them quickly away. "Fuck," he breathes, "I have to let you go…."

A sharp stab hits my heart, and I can barely breathe. "What?"

"I don't want to let you go," he follows, "But fuck… I'd be damned to sit here and let you continue to be unhappy because of me….."

The weight of his words begin pulling me down. "Wait, Christian…"

He walks across the room, and places his hands one each side of my face. "I love you more then I'll ever love anybody," he says as his tears fall, "…. And that's why I need to give you a chance to be happy. Give you chance to be with someone who isn't fucked up, and who won't continue to break your heart time and time again…. You deserve better than me."

"No," I plead with him, "No…. we can work this out." I don't care anymore. I want him back. Why is this so fucking hard?

"I don't want you to be a ghost of who you used to be before we finally do…." He sobs, "I want you to be the Anastasia I fell in love with…. Not the woman I am slowly fucking up."

Tears are rolling down my face, and I try to stop them. My heart is ripping into shreds, and I don't care how pissed off he has made me – I want him. The problem is that I want all of him, and I don't think he can offer that to me right now.

I understand why he is doing this, but he deserves love too. I want to work this out with him, I have always wanted to work this out with him, but he doesn't believe in his ability to make good, and it is breaking my heart. He is a good man, and I want him to see that in himself. At what point did he begin feeling so negatively about himself? I know Milania and his fucked up birth mother had something to do with this somehow.

Suddenly, I feel myself lunge for him, and plaster my lips to his. A strangled moan exits his throat, and it only pushes me to go further. I pull his black jacket off his back and go immediately for the buttons on his shirt.

"Ana…." He pleads against my lips.

"Don't leave me," I plead with him, "Stay with me…. Please."

"Fuck," he hisses as my lips hit the soft skin of his chest. I know he wants to say more, but he can't, and that fills me with instant desire. He wants me too much to stop this moment.

I run my tongue up his neck and he hisses as he begins removing my swim suit. He peels it off my body, and slowly lays me down on the bed. I watch him intently as he fumbles with his belt, and he swiftly pulls down his pants. I reach up for him, and feel his hard length in my hands. I run my tongue over the tip and he groans.

"You can stop this now," he says hoarsely as he pulls off the last shred of my bathing suit.

"No….," I tell him, "I want you."

He lowers himself on top of me, and I guide his length to the entrance of my folds. "You're so beautiful," he cries, "It breaks my heart to look at you."

He slowly enters me, and I feel my back arch from the exquisite fullness. I wrap my arms around his back and nip at his neck as he begins moving inside me. He groans as he picks up his pace, and I feel every blessed inch of him move in and out of me. Christian's movements quickly turn from slow to desperate, and I feel tears flood my eyes. He is saying goodbye. Between my panting and groaning, I hear his subtle sobs, and it only causes me to sob with him.

He sits up, pulling me into his lap and we are face to face. The intimacy of our position allows me to see him, really see him, as he makes love me. And making love to me is what he is doing; his beautiful eyes and face show me how much he really does love me, and how desperate he is to keep me with him. I melt my lips to his, and we move together in ragged synchronization.

My orgasm begins pooling inside of me, and I want to hold out. I want this perfect moment forever, and my body is just going to have to chill – I need this, I need him. I need to stay as close to him for as long as I can manage to stay close to him.

"Don't worry baby," he breathes in my ear, "We won't be done for a while." I take him for his word, and we both come together and loudly in each other's arms.

This is how we spent the entire night, and the subsequent morning. We continued to make love, not stopping for anything. We eventually finished around 5 AM, both of us too tried to go on. I fell asleep wrapped up in him, and I when I woke…. he was gone.

**Christian**

** After she fell asleep, I knew I had to go. **If I stayed long enough for her to wake up, I knew I would never be able to leave. Watching Ana sleep is a weakness of mine. She is just so damn beautiful and peaceful, and I can't get enough of her when she is like that. I leave a small kiss on her forehead and she squirms slightly.

"I love you Christian," she says sleepily. I don't know if she is sleep talking or if this moment is real but I don't care.

"I love you too Ana," I whisper back, "Too much."

I kiss her again and eventually walk out the door. I send Taylor a text to be ready in ten minutes to drive back. He asks me questions and I ignore him, my mind too jumbled to answer. I have one task left, and I need to accomplish it quickly.

I knock softly, hoping he isn't sharing his cabin with anyone. The door opens immediately and RC Sloane's sleepy face greets me. His expression turns from shock to anger in a short amount of time, and I hope he isn't going to be trouble.

"I need to talk to you…." I tell him, "Do you have a minute."

He glares at me, but eventually nods. "If this is going to be a fight…. I don't want it."

I shake my head, "No fight…. But I do need a favor."

He scoffs, "Thanks, but no thanks."

Before he closes the door, I stop him. "It's about Ana…."

He doesn't ask any more questions and begins looking for shoes. He follows me down a small path, and I try to conjure the right words for this moment. I am not sure exactly how to say this.

"I am bowing out," I finally tell him, "I need you to take care of her."

His eyebrows raise, "Excuse me?"

"Listen, I'm not stupid. She loves you… and she is going to need you right now. I want to make sure you'll take care of her. I've hurt her enough…. She needs someone who loves her and will look out for her. Can you do that?

"Why are you saying all of this to me?" he asks, slightly confused, "Why are you asking me?"

"Because if the roles were reversed…. I would do the same thing for you. I hate you, but you love her, so that has to be good enough for me right now. I need to know that she will be ok…. And I know she'll be ok with you."

He nods and I know he understands.


	15. Moving Forward

**A/N – Thanks again for your responses, comments, favorites, follows! You guys are awesome! I don't own FSOG! **

**Chapter 15 – Moving Forward**

**Ana**

** My weekend camping with my family continued, and I slowly but surely continued with it. **Christian and I broke up twice in the same day, and I don't know how anyone could blame me for being sluggish. I smiled, I swam with my Mom, and I hung out with my Aunt and cousins. I didn't see RC much, our families had dinner Saturday night and he sat with me, but we never talked about it. He must know about what happened with Christian and me; it must be easy to read from my sour expression. Sunday afternoon, Evelyn and I begin our adventure home. I hugged my Mom, Bob, and Jackie Sloane before Evelyn and I walked to the car.

As I put my seat belt on, I receive a phone call. I don't recognize the number, but I answer it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Anastasia Steele?" the person asks.

"Yes…."

"This is Patty from Settlement Apartments…. We were calling to let you know that your belongings have arrived safely to your new apartment. Your keys are in the front lobby…. Your first month's rent will be due…."

"What?" I gasp, interrupting her, "What are you talking about?"

Patty gives me a number to contact and I know exactly who set this up. "Thank you Patty…." I say as I hang up and dial his number.

"Grey."

"It's Steele," I respond back, "What did you do?"

"I found a place for you to live since living at my place is no longer an option for you," he replies back calmly, "If you don't like it…."

"I don't like it."

"I didn't want to push you out into the cold, and I didn't want you to have to come back here to pack your stuff up, so I found a place with a reasonable price," he explains, "It has excellent security and I know you probably have you reservations, but I need this…"

"Why?" I ask him, "Most ex-boyfriends don't do this for the girls they've dumped."

"I didn't dump you, I never wanted to end us," he replies back, "I need to know you're safe…. No matter what goes on between us, I need to know you're protected. I didn't pay for this; you can handle that on your own. I've done the hard work – all you need to do is get there and pay your rent every month…."

"What about the deposit?" I snap. He sighs and I know he has already paid for it. "I am paying you back for that."

"So you'll take the apartment?"

I hate when he does this. I hate when he uses his power and money to manipulate any situation he wants – even my living situation. It seems that he and Milania are perfect for each other.

"You moved my stuff?" I ask.

"Yes," he says, "Give me this…. Please. I need to know you're safe."

I hang up on him and turn to Evelyn. She smiles and shakes her head. "What did that asshole do now?"

I hand her the address to my new apartment, "Looks like I have new digs…."

"Awesome," she squeals, "Let's hit the road."

Before we leave, RC jogs out to the car. I roll down the window for him. "Hey Ana…. Do you want to get pizza tonight?"

"Pizza," I ask, "Really?"

"Yes…. Really," he says, "Unless you have other plans…."

"I do have other plans….," I tell him, "Bye."

I roll the window back up and start up the vehicle. Evelyn shakes her head and snickers to herself. I put the car in reverse, leaving RC by himself in the middle of the parking lot.

"So you aren't going to give him a chance…." She asks.

"I just got out of a breakup…. If RC wants me, then he'll have to wait," I tell her. Once I hit the freeway, I begin to speed.

"So, you want him…. I mean, you just said that he has to wait to get you," Evelyn points out, "So you'll eventually succumb to the tattoos and penis piercing."

I shake my head at her, "I hate you."

"You still have a thing for him," Evelyn says.

"I'll always have a thing for RC…. But seriously – stop. I am not jumping into another relationship…. No matter how long he tries to seduce me or throw his washboard abs at me…"

"Slow down Ana," Evelyn hisses.

"Sorry," I say, not really slowing down much, "RC and I can be friends - that's all."

"Friends get pizza," she points out.

"I just broke up with Christian…."

In that moment, cop lights flash in the background, and I know I'm screwed. "I told you to slow down," Evelyn hisses, "Fantastic."

I smile when I recognize the cop car behind me. "No… we're good."

"What do you mean we're good?"

I gladly pull over and wait for the cop to get out of the automobile. He begins walking toward us and I feel my smile expand. I have never been happier to see a cop, especially this cop.

I roll down my window and poke my head out, "Hey Daddy."

Dad's jaw drops, "Anastasia Rose Steele…. Why are you speeding in a car I don't recognize?"

I don't know exactly how to tell him this, I hate flashing Mom and Bob's money in front of my Dad. "Mom rented it for me… we had a camping trip this weekend with Bob's family."

He sees Evelyn sitting next to me and nods. "Afternoon, Evelyn."

"Hi, Mr. Steele," she says sweetly, "I told her to slow down."

"I'm sure you did…" he tells her, "Anastasia, what have I told you about speeding."

"That I shouldn't do it without a seatbelt?"

His eyes burn into me and Evelyn shakes her head. "We haven't seen you in months, Mr. Steele. What if we went for wings tonight? The Seahawks are playing the Steelers…."

Evelyn is good by playing at my Dad's obvious weaknesses. Even though Evelyn isn't my Dad's daughter, she means a lot to me, so by extension Dad has accepted her consistent presence in my life. Also my dad is a sucker for a Seahawks game.

He nods, "That sounds good. Evelyn, make sure she doesn't speed for the rest of the way home."

"We'll meet you at 7," she says with a smile.

"See you at 7…. Drive safely sweetheart."

"I will Daddy," I tell him as I kiss his cheek, "I promise."

We pull away and Evelyn pulls out her cellphone. "Hey RC… it's Evelyn. Meet Ana and me at Wing Central at 7 o clock…. Steelers/ Seahawks are playing tonight…. Perfect we'll see you tonight."

I laugh as she hangs up. "Ray Steele hates RC Sloane."

"They have the same initials…. Crazy," Evelyn says with a snort, "I thought, why not usher Ryker Collin Sloane back into the heart of Anastasia Steele with a little bit of Raymond Charles Steele."

"Geez, you are evil," I laugh at her.

"I prefer evil genius."

**Christian **

** I walk into Milania's apartment with a mission. **She needs to know my intentions, and she needs to get a fucking clue. I am not here for her. I am here for the kid. I think somewhere along the way she got confused, and she needs to be educated. Being with Ana this weekend has only renewed my purpose, and has allowed me to see clearly.

"Christian," she croons with a smile. She has a slight baby bump, and she has already begun to purchase long and flowy articles of clothing to accommodate the child growing inside her.

"Milania, we need to talk," I tell her as she leads me to her spacious living room.

"Of course," she says, taking a seat, "What do you need?"

"Ana and I broke up this weekend," I tell her.

I see it. Her eyes lighten for a second, and then she suddenly fixes her expression. She looks down and pouts slightly. "I'm so sorry…. I know you felt deeply for her."

"Milania, I am going to support you and help you through this, but as soon as this child is born – I am getting a paternity test. If this kid isn't mine, I am gone. I have lost everything because of this situation, and I am so fucking done with you." A paternity test has always been in my plans, but I haven't expressed this to Milania. She hasn't been in the greatest state of mind for news like this, but enough is enough.

She takes in a deep breath and tries to hold back tears. "I would never lie to you…"

"But you don't know who the father is…. And you told Ana the baby was Gustav's just to fuck with her head…." I point out, "You can play all the fucking mind games on me, but you shouldn't have involved her."

"I'm sorry…" she sighs.

"You aren't sorry, don't fucking say that," I snap at her.

"Fine, I'm not sorry that you two broke up," she snaps back, "Because I want you back…. I want us back. I regret cheating on you. Our past sucks, but we can be better. You can help me raise this baby, and we can be a family…. Maybe you and Ana breaking up is a sign…. A sign that we belong together."

"I don't know about that," I tell her, shaking my head adamantly.

"Then we can move forward slowly," she offers, grabbing my hands, "I want to put the past in the past and move forward together even if the child is yours or not." She has begged for this from day one, and I know I can't give this to her. Somehow reading my mind, she changes course. "I'll take you however I can have you…. Even if you aren't all the way in this – if I can just have you, that's all that matters to me."

With Ana out of the picture, I make the reluctant decision to move forward. I don't trust Milania, and I know that even if we tried to be together again – we would be doomed from the start. I miss Ana desperately, but she is gone and I am doomed to walk alone without her forever.

**Ana **

** RC walks with me upstairs to my new apartment and I want to laugh at his demure expression. **Evelyn placed RC into an evil trap this evening, forcing him to spend an evening with my Dad. Ray hates RC strictly for stereotypical reasons. Tattoos and piercings meeting a state of Washington police officer – how well do you think that would go? Of course, tonight was a mess and Ray berated RC for every possible thing he could find. I think Ray just hated sharing me for the evening with my ex-boyfriend.

"RC, you didn't have to walk me up," I tell him as I open the door to my new apartment, "Shouldn't you go home and lick your wounds from the battle you just had with my Dad."

"Geez…. That man is never going to like me."

"My Dad is a cop," I say as we walk inside, "Seeing his little girl go home with someone like you is devastating to a guy like him."

"Yeah… I guess," He laughs, "Nice digs…"

I look around at the new apartment that Christian found for me. "Yeah… it's pretty nice."

Christian found me a small two bedroom apartment in the city with a living room in the middle and rooms on either side. Christian was right, the security around here is state of the art, and they require a passcode in order to enter. The location is fantastic - I am five minutes away from work, and ten minutes away from Evelyn. Since this is a two bedroom apartment, I want to invite Evelyn to move in with me, but I am going to ask her later. I've always hated living alone, and I know she hates her current apartment building.

I take a seat on the sofa, my brand new love seat, and RC takes a seat in the chair next to me. I should be really mad at Christian for buying a whole bunch of homey-shit without consulting me, and setting up my stuff without me being involved in the process, but I hate moving. I've never been much for decorating, and whoever he hired to do all of this for me did a stellar job. I should complain, but this couch is too damn comfy, and my apartment looks awesome.

"So I should probably go," he says, standing up to leave.

I pout and he laughs, "This is my first night alone in a strange apartment…. At least stay and watch a movie with me."

He smiles, "I forgot that you hate living by yourself."

I shake my head, "I can't do it…. It is too much for me. I get scared like a little five year old"

He moves across the room and flips through my DVDs. I watch him, and lay back on my couch. I would watch anything at this point – I just don't like being by myself at night.

"300?" I stand corrected.

"Do I really have a copy of 300 in my movies?" I scoff.

"I put it in there," he says, pulling it back out.

"Well keep it, I don't want it."

"Here," he says, pulling out the next movie he sees, "The Breakfast Club."

"Much better," I tell him as he places the movie in the DVD player.

"Jesus Woman, if I wake up late for the morning show, I am blaming you," he says with a chuckle.

"Morning show?" I ask. RC is usually on in the afternoons with that Ann Marie slut.

He nods, "Yeah…. The morning show. I am moving on up in the world." The morning show is a huge step, they only reserve that time slot of DJs they're serious about.

"Well…. I'm very proud of you."

He smiles as he takes a seat next to me, "Thanks."

He wraps his arm around me, and I lean into his side. I feel him kiss the top of my head, and I try to focus on the movie. He rubs his hand down my arm and my eye-lids begin to feel heavy.

"**Hey…." I hear RC's voice, "Hey Ana, wake up."**

I open my eyes, and I see RC standing over me. "Is the movie over?"

He nods, "Yeah…. And I have to go soon."

I look up and the clock read 2 AM. I grab his arm and I feel his hard muscle underneath his skin. He jumps a little bit, and I smile.

"You ok….?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he says, "Your touch…. Just does things to me."

"What kind of things?" I ask, my voice getting softer. I feel desire pool inside me, and I can't stop it. The way RC is looking at me right now – fuck, I can't handle him looking at me like that. Like I am the most perfect thing his eyes have ever seen, like he wants me even though he knows he can't have me.

"Lots of different things…. and looking at you when you first wake up – you're so beautiful," he says, his voice soft and reverent, "Ana, I should probably go."

"Stay…" I say, not recognizing the desire in my own voice.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

In the moment, I make the most impulsive decision I have ever made. I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him. He moans in surprise, but then begins kissing me back with equal fervor. He grabs my ass and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me through the living room, kissing and licking as we go, and he heads straight for the bedroom.

He drops me on the bed, and I immediately go for my top, unbuttoning and bearing myself to him. I don't want to think, I don't want to go through the consequences of my actions - I just want to feel. I am sick of being the girl who has to think methodically about every action. I hate being that girl, she has gotten me nowhere. In this moment, I want to be Kate or Evelyn, or hell – even Milania. I want to be fucking impulsive and live in the moment.

"I don't think this is a good idea," he says as I begin unbuttoning his shorts. I reach for him and begin stroking his thick length. He isn't big as Christian, but the piercing at the end of his dick still sends shivers down my spine.

"I don't care if it is a good idea," I hiss at him, "I want you, and I am going to get what I want."

I sound like a psychopath, but right now – I don't care. He smiles wide and leans down to kiss me. "How can I say no to that…."

And he didn't say no…. for the next two hours.

**I wish I was drunk. **I wish I had something to blame for the piss-poor decision I just made with Sloane. I could blame this on my break up, but there are plenty of females in this world who still are able to make excellent decisions after they break up with their boyfriends. Maybe I am a slut monster, and I have finally been unleashed into the world. Either way, I feel like an idiot and a skank and a tramp.

RC walks into the room, looking for his T-shirt. It is 4 AM, and he has to head to work any minute now. I feel bad for keeping him up and for the discussion I am about to have with him.

He leans over to kiss me, "I love looking at you in the morning."

I can't help but smile, "With my messy hair?"

"No, that's your 'I just fucked Sloane hair'," he clarifies, "And it looks sexy on you."

"Listen, we need to talk... about what just happened," I say, trying to sound stern.

He stops, and stares at me for a second. "Fuck Ana, I'm sorry…."

"No, it is my fault," I tell him, "I let you kiss me in the hot tub, and I basically asked you to fuck me a few hours ago."

"It was a mutual decision."

"As was the breakup I had several days ago…." I remind him and myself, "I want to backtrack, and forget all of this happened."

"I can't forget great sex," he tells me.

"I can't either," I admit to him, "But we have to. I can't just run back into bed with you like that…. We need to be friends first."

He looks up at me with a smirk, clearly amused by the idea. "Friends?"

"I know, this is ridiculous considering everything, but I need to do this the right way…. I'm sorry for being a complete slut, but we can't keep this up. We need to be friends, and maybe after some time…"

"You aren't a slut," he shakes his head, "I wanted that to happen too, but if this is what you want. I'm game."

"It is," I tell him confidently, "Moving slow is what I want."

He leans over for a kiss, but I hug him instead. He laughs, and shakes his head.

"Friends with a girl I have already slept with and I am hopelessly in love with…. Sure, this will work out," he jokes as he walks out my door.

_ What the hell have I gotten myself into? _

**A/N – Ok, so…. this was kind of a filler chapter, but we're moving forward. I hope to reach present time and the reconciliation pretty soon, but of course I have a few questions to answer first so we are not quite there yet. I appreciate your continued support – you guys are the fucking best! **


	16. Rock Bottom

**A/N – Hi everyone, I wanted to clear something up from the last chapter. Ana doesn't like taking gifts from Christian because she is Ana, and so to get her on board with the new safe apartment, he told her that he wasn't going to pay the rent. This was his way of giving her what she wants while also giving her a safe place to live. If he had paid her rent, she would have gone postal and had not taken the apartment, and probably would have lived in a cave somewhere (or with Sloane and he would not have liked that). Remember, he did pay the security deposit and she didn't like that. So no, if he had the choice – he would have paid for everything, but Christian knew who he was dealing with. **

**Moving on – I am going to move us up about five months. I hope you enjoy! Thank you for all the reviews from the last chapter! I don't own FSOG **

**Chapter 16 – Rock Bottom **

**Five Months – Christian **

** "I am so glad the Ice Queen let you away from the Castle," Mia says as she jumps in the SUV with me. **

"Mia," I sigh, "She is nine months pregnant."

"And she has let EVERYONE know it," Mia scoffs. Taylor drives off once Mia is securely inside and she clasps my shoulder. "I'm sorry, but you're pregnant-girlfriend whipped," she says, "Mom and I were talking about how bad you're pregnant-girlfriend whipped."

If she knew anything about Milania and I's situation, she would know that I wasn't. Or am I? I don't think I even know at this point. Milania has given me a bit of freedom, but it seems to be under her terms. Fuck, I am whipped.

"You and Mom were talking about it?"

She laughs, "You know Mom isn't fond of this situation. She misses Ana."

She is not the only one. My phone begins to ring and I answer immediately. "Hello."

"Hello Mr. Grey, this is Patty from Settlement Apartments," she begins, "And I was calling to let you know that your security deposit will be returned to you within 2-3 business days…."

"My security deposit?" I ask, confused, "I'd only get my security deposit returned if …"

"Yes, Anastasia, the resident you paid for is moving out," Patty confirms. What the fuck? Why the hell is Anastasia moving out? I know she is spending a lot more time with fucking RC, but I sure hope she isn't moving in with the bastard.

"Oh my god, Christian get off the phone," Mia says, "Taylor, turn up the radio…."

I hang up the phone and I listen as I hear RC Sloane's voice fill the SUV.

"I don't want to listen to his morning show, Mia," I tell her.

"It's the best one in the city, but shut up and fucking listen…." She hisses at me.

"RC, bro, what's your big announcement? You've been bugging us about this all morning..," one of the DJs asks him.

"Alright…. Well….," RC begins, "I got married this weekend."

The DJs erupt with celebration and I feel myself begin to get sick. She eloped. Fuck. I try to keep a tiny ounce of control, but I can't. She actually married him. It's been five months, and he got to her that quickly. Fuck.

"But didn't you say you had two announcements Sloaney…." One of the other DJs asks, "You said you had two announcements."

"Right of course," RC continues, "I'm also proud to announce that I'm going to be a daddy…."

Mia gasps, and I scream at Taylor. "Pull the fuck over."

He does what I requested, and I burst out of the SUV and find a spot of grass. I haven't eaten this morning, a poor decision on my part, and all I am able to puke out is water. It's as if my body needs to dispose of the bad news that is ravaging my brain, and it is taking all I have left.

Mia follows behind me and sits by my side, quiet and waiting until I seem to be finished. She pats my back and sighs.

"I don't understand you….. You love her yet you are still with Milania. If you love her, you should be with her…"

"It's not that simple, Mia," I choke out, "I made her miserable…. I couldn't keep doing that to her."

"So now you're miserable," she says with a head shake, "And now it's too late."

A sharp piercing pain fills my chest. It is too late. I never thought I'd get myself to this point. I was fucking foolish. I handed her to Sloane on a silver platter, and he is going to take advantage of the opportunity I gave him. He'd be a fool not to.

"Come on…." She whispers, "Let's go to breakfast and try to get something into your stomach."

I nod, allowing my sister to lead me back to the car.

**"Christian, this is a terrible idea," Mia pleads as Taylor drives to our last location of the day. **I've spent the morning with Mia, going to breakfast, shopping for whatever she wanted, and going to a few museums. She wanted to help me take my mind off things, but it only inspired me. It only made me start to ask questions.

How far along is Ana? I was with Ana five months ago, and it has been five months since I've seen her. If she is newly pregnant, anything under that amount of time, I doubt RC would have announced it to all of Seattle. Here is my hope – this chance to have her back. The baby could be mine, and we could get back together. Hell, it doesn't matter anymore – if she didn't even want me, I would still have a piece of her in our child.

"I need to see her," I tell Mia.

"I don't even know if this address is right," she tells me, "I got it from Mom like a couple weeks ago…. It could be wrong."

We pull up to the driveway, and I immediately jump out. Mia follows, looking distraught. She clearly doesn't want me to do this. We walk to the front door and I notice how their house is nice and quaint – fully equipped with a fence, flowers, a small fountain and a nice enough lawn. It seems perfect for Ana, not so much for tattooed RC Sloane.

"Christian, you don't have to do this…." Mia pleads, "This is not going to end well."

"Stop it Mia," I hiss at her as we make it to the front door. I ring the doorbell and wait. Ana opens the door seconds later, and I feel my body turn to jello.

If someone didn't know her body as well I do, they wouldn't notice the small bump resting on her stomach. She looks like Milania did when she first came to me with her announcement, four to five months pregnant. Her hair is gathered in a small bun on top of her head, and she is wearing a grey sundress that easily accommodates her new shape.

"Hi," she says softly, peeking her head out to see Mia, "What are you doing here?"

What am I doing here? Fuck, I am so thrown off with seeing Ana after all this time that I have no idea why I am here. "I need to talk to you about this," I say, motioning to her stomach.

"This baby isn't yours," she says sternly, "The baby is RC's. Now, are you done? Isn't Milania about to pop…. Don't you need to see her?"

I feel a dagger stab my chest when I hear how bitter she sounds. _Baby, no, I didn't mean for any of this to happen._ No matter how I feel, I am not going to let her blow me off like this, there is still a chance this baby could be mine. I need to know.

"How far are you?"

"She isn't yours…." She spits out, anger seething, "So don't…."

"She?" I ask her, "You know?"

She nods, and I feel her anger power through the silence. "We were together four months ago, Ana," I remind her.

"We used condoms," she replies.

"Not the entire night."

Ana looks over at Mia, and I realize she must feel uncomfortable having this conversation with Mia present. Mia shakes her head, and nods at Ana.

"I can go…" she says, walking off, "Don't do anything stupid Christian…"

As soon as Mia is gone, Ana turns back to me. "This baby isn't yours…. It's my husband's."

I blanch, feeling myself pieced from her words. "So you married him…"

She nods, "I did."

"Because of the baby?"

She huffs, "Fuck you. He loves me. He has done nothing, but love and take care of me."

"But you married him because you're pregnant with his child," I tell her, feeling myself get as bitter as she sounds.

"I don't need this from you," she breathes as she moves to close the door, "We're done. It is obvious that you moved on…."

"You think I've moved on?" I ask, feeling my jaw drop, "I can't move on."

"I know you moved on," she hisses, "As soon as I was gone, you went back to her."

I shake my head, incredulous. I get it, that's exactly how it looks in the press. "I didn't go back to her," I snap, "And what does it matter…. It is obvious you went back to him immediately. You're fucking married Ana."

"Then why are you two in every fucking gossip mag," she sobs, wiping her tears away as she talks, "She keeps talking about your wedding… how do you think that makes me feel? Did I mean anything to you?"

"It's not real," I enunciate, "I am not marrying her."

"Are you fucking making my wife cry?" I hear RC's voice come from inside the house. He walks forward and protectively places an arm around her. "Fuck, go away Christian…"

"I want the truth from her," I tell him, "I'm sorry Ana." He wraps his arms around her as she begins to cry in his neck. Fuck me; I didn't want to make her cry.

"Go away," he hisses at me, "You got your truth."

"You know, RC," I tell him as I begin walking away, "That baby could be mine."

"Shut the fuck up, Grey," he snaps at me.

"Sensitive," I yell back at him, "You could be raising my kid…. How does that make you feel?" I know I am being an antagonistic prick, but RC Sloane just brings that shit out in me. This is making Ana even more upset. Fuck, I didn't want this to happen. I just want to know if this baby is mine.

"Baby…. stay in here," I hear him tell Ana. I walk to the car, and I feel him follow me. "Do you want to tell me that to my face?"

"Actually, I do," I turn around, facing him behind me, "That kid is mine."

"Get the fuck off my property, Grey," he barks at me, "How dare you come here, and upset my wife over your bullshit. You wanna know when our kid was conceived….. two days after she broke up with your ass."

I can't control myself. I grew up getting into fights at school, and that angry kid is roaring back with a vengeance. I pull my arm back and punch RC in the cheek. RC answers back as he throws me against the SUV, hitting me back and throwing me down. Taylor gets out of the SUV and quickly tries to separate the two of us.

I push him backward, knocking their front porch swing down in the process. He gets me up and throws me up against the side of their house; I must have stepped over few flower beds on my way. I hear Ana screaming from the front door, but she doesn't move – thank God. She is four months pregnant; she doesn't need to get in the middle of this.

Mia jumps out of the car, screaming at us to stop. We break a few more things in their garden, and when I look up again – I see police lights behind my SUV. The cop comes forward and pries me off of RC, and Taylor finally gets a good hold on RC to keep him back. We are finally separated and the cop begins dragging me to his cop car. I get a good look at the cop in question, and I feel my stomach sink. Ana's father is dragging me to his cop car, and he doesn't look happy.

"Well, I gotta give it to my daughter," he says as he slams the door and opens his, "She sure knows how to pick them."

"Why am I in your cop car?" I hiss, feeling a cut on my lip.

"I don't know Grey – how about trespassing, destruction of my daughter and son-in-law's property, and being a fucking asshole."

I couldn't argue with him on that one.

"What about RC?" I snap back, "He did shit to me to…."

"This is his home, and his property - Unless he invited you over to punch you and scare my daughter…. I'm really not too concerned with him."

"I didn't mean to scare your daughter," I tell him.

"You don't mean to do a lot of things to her, but you did them anyway," he snaps at me, "If you love her, you'll let her live her life. She is married, and she is having a baby with her husband. It's time for you to run off with that supermodel."

I shake my head, "I love her…. That's not easy."

He shakes his head and grunts. "But that's what she needs from you. She doesn't need you coming to her house and starting shit like that. It'd do you some good to listen."

**I get sent to the police station and Mia follows behind to bail me out. **I find out while I am there and while they're doing paper work that RC isn't going to press charges. I will only have to pay for the damage I caused to their home. Mia continues to give me a disapproving look while they process my bail.

"I told you not to do this," she says with a pout.

I shake my head at her. "Mia, quit."

"I told you…. And you still went after him. All that macho bullshit just scared Ana. She stood at the door the entire time crying…"

"Are you trying to make me feel worse about all of this," I snap at her, "I feel like shit."

"I don't know what is with you," she says to herself, "It's like you don't know how to do any of this…. Like you're a Martian, like you don't know how to communicate with any real people."

"Mia…. Just stop talking."

"Hey…." A familiar voice says, "Can I talk to you…"

I turn around and Ana is standing behind us. Her face is still red from crying, and her expression seems to be demure. Shit, I _cannot _stop hurting her.

I nod, "Absolutely."

"If you make her cry again, Grey…" Mr. Steele says as he rounds the corner, "I'll shoot you."

"Daddy," she admonishes him as she rolls her eyes, "Mia… can we have a second?"

She nods and walks off. Ana takes a seat next to me, and grabs my hands. I jump a little from the contact. Her touch still manages to do things to me that no one else's can.

"I'm so sorry about what happened Ana…." I tell her, "I didn't mean to make you cry or hurt you in anyway…. I'm just…"

"I think," she says, eyes on our conjoined hands, "That I will always love you." I lose my breath for a second.

"What do you mean…."

"You mean a lot to me even though you were only in my life for a short period of time," she says, tears filling her eyes, "But…. We seem to never work. Something always seems to happen, and I need to let you go…."

I tip her chin to stare deep into her eyes. "Let me go?"

"I haven't yet," she says truthfully, "And I'm married now, and I need to…"

"Ana…. Is the baby mine?" I ask her, truthfully.

She shakes her head. "No…. she is his. Please… Christian. Let me go so I can let go of you."

"You haven't let go of me?" I ask her.

She shakes her head, "I've tried and failed, and watching TV and reading magazines hasn't helped. I need to let you go, but I never can seem to keep you out of my head. After this short amount of time, you still seem to rule everything…"

"So what does that mean?" I ask, trying to weight the gravity of her words, "You still mean everything to me."

"Don't come around again, forget I ever existed…."

I feel myself laugh, "I can't do that."

She gets up and leans over to kiss my cheek. "You have to. You have a life too. We need to get back to that…."

She walks off. "Ana…." I say as she turns around, "I'll always love you."

She nods, "I will always love you too."

Mia returns as Ana walks away and hands me my phone. "It's time to go."

"Am I out?"

She nods, "You are out and Milania is in labor."

"What?" I ask.

"Gustav is on his way to the hospital as well…. By the end of the day, we're all going to know who that baby belongs to…."

**Ana **

** I walk through the door and set my purse on a nearby chair. **RC is sitting at the table, eyeing me nervously. He has a bruise on his left eye and a few scrapes and scratches across his skin. I find a glass of water, and he still stays, staring at me as I move.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I was handling Christian," I tell him.

"I didn't like the way he was talking to my wife…."

"Yes, I am your wife," I tell him, "But we are not cave people and you didn't need to egg him on like that."

"Sorry for standing up for you," he fires back.

"I can stand up for myself," I practically scream.

I take in a deep breath and try to deal with the hormones raging through my body. I just got back from the police station, and I promised Christian something I haven't been able to do in five months – let him go. I am still unsure if I can.

"I'm sorry…." RC says, staring at the ground.

"I'm sorry for yelling," I reply back.

"Did the police station go well?" he asks.

I nod, "Yeah, I think it did. Thank you for not pressing charges. Dad told me that they got him to agree to pay for all the damages and since you aren't too terribly banged up, I think that's good enough for me."

He nods, "Good."

I take in a deep breath, "I lied to him and I hate myself for it."

"I think this lie is for the best…." He says with a nod, "He doesn't need to know that there is a possibility that the baby is his."

"Are you ok with this?" I ask him.

He smiles, "How many times do I have to tell you this…. I don't care."

"You don't care that you could possibly be raising his kid."

He shakes his head, "I don't care. This child is yours, and that's all I care about." He walks around and wraps his arms around me.

"Thank you for being a good husband," I tell him as I rest into his side, "Thanks for dealing with my shit."

He snickers as he kisses my temple, "Any time Mrs. Sloane."

I can let Christian go. I can let Christian go. I can let Christian go. Oh God, I hope I can let him go.


	17. Two for Two

**A/N – Thanks again for all the great feedback! I don't own FSOG!**

**Also – if we are in Ana's POV – we are in present, "Sloane is dead/Ana is a basket case" time…. if it is Christian's POV we are in, "who is the father of Milania's baby" past time. Let me know if you have any questions about that. Lol. **

**Chapter 17 – Two for Two **

**Ana – Present Time**

** I don't want to be here. **I don't want to sit in this room with him. I can't believe Grace asked me to do this. She stares at me sadly as I pace. Christian just stares at me. I don't like how he is looking at me. He needs to quit this whole "you're the only woman in the room" look, it is annoying.

"Stop looking at me," I snap at Christian, "You're lucky I am letting you do this in the first place."

He smiles and I want to smack him. "I'm sorry Ana."

"No you aren't," I hiss. God, I want my baby back. I can't believe I sent her in by herself. I am the worst Mom in the fucking world.

I hear a small cry from down the hallway and I scamper to find where it is coming from. A nurse has Elizabeth in her arms, and I grab her immediately from her hold. I kiss her forehead and she calms down instantly.

"She was so good for us," the nurse says, smiling at my child fondly, "No need to worry Mrs. Sloane."

I try not to start crying as I nod. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry…," the nurse apologizes for making me cry.

I turn back around and place Elizabeth back in her carrier. "Eight hours?" I ask them, "That's all it takes, Eight hours?"

Christian nods, "Yep…. Eight hours."

I nod back, "Alright….. I guess I'll see you then."

**Christian**

** Taylor immediately brought me to the hospital from the police station, and I was taken to a separate waiting room with Gustav. **Mia stayed with me for a little bit and left a few hours later. Dad showed up soon after Mia was gone. Mom informed Mia that she would only show up if the baby was mine. Since neither Gustav nor I decided to go in with Milania, her absent parents and sisters stay in the delivery room with her. Dad told me to stay out of it, even though I've been helping her through the more difficult aspects of her pregnancy, he wanted me away from her during the delivery.

Gustav and I both gave DNA samples, and all that remains is waiting time. Gustav doesn't speak much, but he seems to be very nervous about possibly being the father. I doubt the lead singer of the "Sex Orgies" knows anything about being a father at all. We would nod politely at each other, but for the most part, we didn't speak.

After a few more hours of waiting, Milania finally gave birth to a little boy. Nicholas Joseph Turotti was born, and her family began celebrating his birth immediately. As soon as my Dad's DNA administer got the opportunity, they took a DNA sample from the little boy and were off to the lab. If this was a normal situation, I would be dealing with a 24 to 48 hour wait time. In this case, Dad found a DNA test that would only take about 8 hours. I don't know how he did it, I am sure my name and his legal credentials helped, but I am thankful.

The nurses keep walking by, asking either of us if we want to see the baby. We both decline, and they mutter something in their native language. They both giggle and walk away. Gustav's ears immediately perk up and he looks over at me.

"They have something to say…." He says, trying to get the words out, "I'm not sure how it translates to English."

I look back at the nurses and they are gone. I shrug and shake my head. I'm not too worried about a few nurses looking at us.

"Don't you have women look at you like that, Gustav?" He nods and drops the subject completely. I finally find a comfortable seat in the back, and try to get some rest.

More time goes by and finally Carrick's lab technician and Carrick return to the waiting room. They are both wide eyed, and I see a bit of horrified amusement in my Dad's features.

"We have the results," Dad says in a whisper. Suddenly Milania appears, and tears are flowing freely down her face.

"I'm so sorry," she cries, pleading with me, "I didn't know…. I thought."

"Milania, get out," Dad barks at her, "You've done enough."

"Dad, what's going on?" I ask him as Milania continues to cry.

"We need a damn nurse in here to put her back to bed," Dad yells as he walks outside.

The lab technician turns to us, "Alright well, I guess we shouldn't delay the inevitable. The baby is not yours Gustav."

Gustav stands up and pumps the air. "Thank you…" he cries in his Russian accent.

I nod, knowing that this could be a possibility. I am Nicholas's father, and it is time for me to stand up and take care of my responsibilities. I stand up, and make my way to the exit.

"Thank you for your fast results," I tell the technician.

"Ummmm," he murmurs, "You aren't the father either…."

"What?" I snap.

"You aren't the father…." He says shaking his head, "We spoke with Ms. Turotti and it seems that she had a third lover, a quick one night stand that resulted in this child."

She isn't crying in the hallway anymore so I quickly go search for her. I find her in her hospital room and her nurse quickly leaves when I arrive. Lucky for me, her family is gone; unlucky for me – she is an absolute wreck. The baby is asleep in the corner, so I know I need to stay quiet. It is not that kid's fault that his mother is a lying, manipulative weasel.

"Christian I am so sorry…." She cries, "But I can't do this without you…. Don't leave me."

"Too late," I hiss at her, "I tried to help you out of some misplaced loyalty. We've been through of the shit we've been through together and I felt sorry for you, but enough is enough. You lied to me, I tried to help you, and you lied to my fucking face…."

"Christian," she cries, "I'm so sorry…."

"Shut up," I bark at her, "We're done. No more calling me, No more trying to see me, I've had it with you."

She shakes her head, "You've said that before….. and you still came crawling back." I blanch as if she has struck me. "You need me," she whispers, "I am the link that keeps you from feeling like shit about yourself. You need me. You need to know that I'm ok to make yourself feel whole."

I take a step back, feeling like I've been punched several times in the gut. "What the hell are you trying to say?"

"Sure, she made you happy," Milania continues, "But you don't need her like you need me."

"That's not true," I murmur.

"It's a proven fact….. Why did you come to me when you found out I was pregnant?"

"Because you needed help…." I explain.

She shakes her head, a malicious smile crossing her face, "You weren't sure if I was going to jump off the deep end again. Get another abortion and go fucking bat shit crazy like last time. You didn't want to feel guilty twice in your life…. So you gained control of me, but you lost control over her…."

"What the fuck?" I spit, "You're insane."

She shakes her head, "No…. I just need you as much as you need me. We're co-dependent. We'll always be co-dependent on each other. We were made for each other."

"What this is," My Dad says from the door, "Is a tick sucking the blood from an animal, and then the tick manipulating the animal and making the animal feel guilty for trying to kill the tick. " She scoffs and Dad shakes his head. "Son, let's go."

"No," I tell him, turning back to her, "If you contact me again, I am getting a fucking restraining order. If you get near any of my family members, you're getting a fucking restraining order. If you speak my name in public for any reason…. You're getting a mother fucking restraining order."

I walk out the door, and thank my lucky stars that I will never see Milania Turotti again.

**Christian – Six Weeks Later **

** "So why are you here today, Mr. Grey?"**

I snort, "I don't know…. Aren't you supposed to tell me?"

Dr. John Flynn lowers his glasses and shakes his head. "Alright…. I want to talk about Milania Turotti."

"Well I don't," I tell him, "I'm done with that bitch."

"So, what…. Do you just want to sit here and talk about the girls you're seeing?"

I smile wide and nod my head. My independence from Milania has been nothing but fucking spectacular. She isn't in my life anymore. My PR team told the world the truth, and the backlash over the baby drama was a thing of beauty. She no longer has a "Milan Army" and she was eviscerated in the press for her behavior, and she is now hiding under a rock with her newborn son. I am back to live my life as it was before this drama started. Well, with one exception.

"We can talk about them…."

"Your mother wanted me to tell you that your family is worried about you," Flynn informs me, "They think you're too far out of control, and that's not like you…."

"I'm fine," I tell him.

"Then explain to me why you're drunk, and there is another supermodel in my waiting room. Shouldn't you stay away from them after everything that happened with Milania?" he asks.

I sit up. "I'm not drunk. I don't get drunk."

"You are out of control, and you are refusing to see that," he tells me, "It is 11 AM, Christian…. How many drinks have you had?"

"I'm fine…." I tell him, "Now I need to get back to work."

"You miss Anastasia," he tells me as I head for the door, "You lost control of your life, and now you're reeling from it. You lost her, she is married to someone else, and you aren't handling it well..."

"Fuck you, Flynn…."

"The only way," he continues, "Is if you sober up, drop all the women, and you take your therapy seriously. We can make a plan of action to deal with the uncontrollable forces in your life, but you need to let that bitch stop ruling your life."

"She isn't ruling my life…." I inform him, "I got rid of her."

"This is a bad example, but look at 9/11….. Americans thought they were invincible and then 911 came along, and they stepped up their security and protection, did they not?" Flynn asks.

"How would you know, you're British," I slur out. Fuck, I even sound drunk.

"The answer is that they did. They were rocked to their cores and they did everything they could so that this would never happen again," Flynn says, ignoring my comment, "And that is exactly what you're doing with Milania. You thought you had control, you thought you were invincible. You even thought you could add Anastasia to the mix…. A force of good midst the great things happening in your life."

"Don't talk about her," I barely cough out.

"But then Milania came along and attacked everything and she rocked you to your core," he says, "But instead of protecting yourself and making a plan – you've given up. You've thrown in the towel. I don't know you very well, but I know from what I have seen and heard that Christian Grey doesn't throw in the towel…."

"I don't," I tell him.

"And it's because of Anastasia…."

"I told you to stop talking about her," I snap again.

"You're lost. You let her slip beneath your fingers, and I don't think you're handling this all too well…. Did you grieve her loss?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask him.

"Did you grieve the loss of your relationship with the one person you truly let into your life…." He asks.

I take in a deep sigh, "I don't know…."

"Well…. That's what we'll talk about next week," he says as he pats me on the back, "Our next meeting, I'm going to ask that you sober up, and don't bring anymore supermodels…. It gives Gwen, my receptionist, a complex."

I look up at him, and I don't know what to say. "Who the fuck are you?"

He laughs a hearty laugh. "We have a lot of work to do, but I am going to help you through it…. I'll see you next week Christian."

_**You can thank the girls on Facebook for this one…. I was just going to leave you hanging with that first part…. **___

**Ana – Present Time**

** The knock at my door forces me out of my thoughts and I walk towards the door. **I take in a deep breath and I open it. Grace and Christian are standing outside and I motion for them to come in. They both nod, walking in and I begin leading them through my home. I walk up to Elizabeth's nursery and open the door.

I smile when I see my baby girl. She isn't asleep yet, she is awake and playing with her sweet little feet. I walk through and pick her up.

"Elizabeth," I say with a soft whisper, "You have a few visitors that would like to see you…"

She garbles happily and I hand her over to Christian. He nods and smiles down at her. He takes a seat in my rocker and Grace sits down next to them, both Christian and Grace are smiling widely at Elizabeth. Elizabeth is sitting so calmly with Christian, and it breaks my heart.

"I'll give you some time," I tell him, "I'll be around."

They both quietly nod as I step out of the room. My feet give out as I sink down to the ground. I hold my knees and I try to breathe.

"Hey sweet girl," Christian says to her softly, "You haven't met me yet, but I'm your Dad." I hold back a sob as I continue to listen. I can't let them hear me cry, I need to continue to stay stoic. I can't let my guard down with him.

He continues talking to her, and I am struggling to keep control. "I know I haven't been around, but I plan on changing that. Your Mom kind of hates me…."

"Don't tell her that," Grace admonishes him.

"She needs to know," he tells her, "I was an idiot, and I let your Mommy go… but things are going to be different. I've changed things in my life, and I am better now. I'll be better for you and your Mom."

"This is sweet," Grace tells him, "But she can't understand you…. Just hold her Christian."

"I don't care," he tells her, "I want her to know this. I'm going to tell her this every day."

"I hope not all of this every day…."

"Don't listen to Grandma," he continues, "Now that you're here, I am going to make things different. I love your Mom, and I plan on keeping her forever…. And you." I hear the sudden emotion in his voice, and I can't control myself anymore. I try to keep back my sobbing so I can hear him finish.

"I am so glad you're here," he tells her, and I know he is crying, "I don't know you… but you are _ours_ and I love you so much."

I walk down the hallway and hide before I lose complete control.


	18. Living Apart

**A/N – Alright, so we had a few questions from this chapter – let me answer them for you**

**Since I had so many people asking about Elizabeth…. I decided to give you a PEEK into the future. I am still going to go through and get us to that point so you will get all the details that you are missing, but I just wanted to satiate the need for some of you to know who Elizabeth belongs to. **

**I've had a couple people ask me about Chapter 1… Sloane and Christian's conversation was a dream. I guess that wasn't clear, but that didn't actually happen – Christian dreamed it. Sorry for any problems that may cause. Lol. **

**Thanks again for all your comments, favorites, follows – everything. You guys are the best. If I missed a question you need asked – let me know. I am an open book. **

**We're back to life after Milania's baby is born. I don't own FSOG. **

**Chapter 18 – Living Apart **

**Christian**

** It didn't take long, but life got back to normal, or as normal as I possibly can get. **I continued my sessions with Flynn, and I am still in awe over how much one little British guy with glasses can understand completely what I went through. I didn't have a normal introduction to this world, and my upbringing was different to say the least, so I have seen plenty of shrinks in my day. None of them has had the effectiveness that Flynn has had on my life.

Taylor recommended a new trainer to me, and I have worked out incessantly. I needed more than anything to get the control back to my body. I drink when I am out of control, I did it in high school all the time, and I don't want to be in that place again. Showing up places drunk is not Christian Grey. Alcohol is banned momentarily from my home as I continue to refocus myself.

I told my Mom that I didn't want any updates from Anastasia. Grace and Ana still converse, and that blows my mind. I didn't think she wanted anything to do with my family, but I guess I was wrong. She must be almost due by this point, almost ready to give birth to her and Sloane's baby. I shake my head and focus, I can't think about that right now. I can't think about her.

"Christian…." The red head says to me from across the table, "What are you thinking about?"

One thing that hasn't stopped is my "dating" life. I am much more discreet about it now. Since my recent run in with "drinking, sleeping with supermodels" Christian Grey, my image has been re-attacked with the "not family friendly" tag. My PR Team has suggested I keep my life under-wraps, NDAs, secret meetings, etc , until all of this dies down. Speaking of my PR Team, Evelyn asked to be moved to a different company. Evelyn Adams was a great member of my team, and I was sad to move her along. In the end, I understood.

"Christian," she says, pointing to a blonde friend that has joined us, "I told my friend about you. She's willing to sign the NDA if you let her…. Um…. Join us."

I look up at the tall blonde female standing next to her friend, and I empty my drink. I nod, "Lead the way ladies…."

They smile brightly was we begin our trek upstairs. We stand in the elevator in silence as they hold on to each side of me. The blonde sighs and pouts.

"It's such a shame what Milania Turotti did to you…."

"Cassidy," the red head hisses, "Don't talk about her."

"Yes, Cassidy…. I'd rather not talk about her."

She sighs, "Sorry…."

We walk make it to the pent house, and my cell phone begins to buzz. "Excuse me ladies," I tell them as they walk off, "Make yourselves comfortable in my room."

They both giggle as I answer the phone. When I see her number flash across my screen, I freeze. Why is she calling me? I thought we promised to let each other go.

"Hello…." I ask, expecting the worst.

A sob falls through the phone, and I feel my heart break hearing her like this. "Christian?" she sobs.

"Ana…. What's wrong?" I ask her, "Where is Sloane…. Are you ok?"

She sobs, "How could you?"

I almost want to laugh. My Mom often speaks of pregnant clients of hers, and how emotional they become. Anastasia Sloane is no exception.

"What did I do now?"

"Don't change the subject by being funny," she adorably huffs, "All of those women…. They're all over the magazines."

I look down the hall to the twins situating themselves in my suite. I didn't realize during my vow of silence that few would slip through the cracks. I don't know what to tell her, she is obviously overly emotional.

"Ana," I tell her, "You're married…."

"I know…" she says, still crying.

"I'm moving on too…." I tell her, "But in my own way."

"I hate your way," she huffs, "You could do so much better than a one night stand."

"What I want is married and has a baby on the way," I tell her honestly, "I am just taking what I can get at this point."

She sobs harder, and I feel bad about telling her the truth. I'm not going to lie to her, and tell her I am fine with this. I'm not fine with living like this; I don't think I'll ever be fine with living like this. I miss her, and I can't do anything about it.

"I'm sorry Ana…."

She calms down, "No…. I shouldn't have called. Sloane just picked up a People from the supermarket and well…."

"Fuck, I'm in People magazine."

She snorts, "And you look terrible."

I smile at her joke, "Well thank you for that…"

"No… I'm sorry," she says with a snort, "So how are you doing?"

I feel a set of arms run around my neck, "Baby…. get back to bed. Tiffany and I have been waiting so patiently for you."

Before I have time to kick Tiffany away and talk to Ana, she was gone.

**Ana**

** I place the phone down and try to not let the sobs over take me. **I hate being nine months pregnant. I am uncomfortable, I haven't been able to sleep and I get cranky and extra sensitive when I can't sleep.

I should have known better. I knew calling him would be a mistake. I don't know why, but I just needed answers from him. For someone who acted like he was so in love with me, he sure has taken part in some interesting sexual activities since we've broke up. Tonight was obviously no different. Right now, he is probably beginning a threesome with those two really hot sluts. I want to cry, I hate them already.

I look up and RC is standing at the doorway, staring at me curiously. "Whatcha doing?" he asks as he sets his wallet down.

"Thinking about how fat and disgusting I look…."

"Baby…." he says, taking a seat next to me, "You aren't fat and disgusting."

"Yes I am…." I say pointing to the People magazine, "Have you seen these women."

"Good God, why did I even bring this home," he says as he tosses it in the garbage can, "Rookie move."

"Didn't you see the article about Christian?" I ask him, "About all the whores he is seeing…"

"He is an adult, and he can do what he wants…."

"But he deserves so much more than that," I tell him.

"Why are you obsessing over this?" RC asks, expression impassive, "He is old news."

"I know…" I tell him.

"And you need to stop eating with Grace Grey…. " he tells me, "You're giving Jackie Sloane a complex."

"Jackie knows I've been eating with Grace?"

He suddenly looks uncomfortable. "I don't want to talk about the Greys tonight…. Baby, I want to go to bed."

"Why does Jackie know about that?"

"Ana, bed, now," he commands as he moves the comforter back, "I've had a long day and I need to get up at five…."

"You aren't going to bed until you tell me why you're telling your mother stuff like that," I demand from him, "And I can outlast you…. I can't sleep with your child inside of me."

He slumps over, looking defeated. "I talk to her about him…." He murmurs, "You're obviously still in love with him, and I just don't really know how to handle this…"

"I'm not in love with him…."

"You have lunches with Grace," he begins numbering on his fingers, "You talk about him, you read magazines with him in it, you obsess over the women he sees…."

"You brought that magazine home…."

"I just needed advice to know how to deal with my wife being in love with someone else," he snaps, "So fucking sue me."

"I love you Sloane," I tell him, almost in tears again.

"Ana…. Go to bed, please," he sighs, "We can talk about this some other time."

When I try to cry, all I feel are contractions. When I lay back, I feel her thumping along at my stomach. I sit up, and it all floods out of me.

Sloane sits up and I turn around. "My water just broke."

**Christian **

** To take my mind off my phone call with Ana, Cassidy and Tiffany stuck around for most of the afternoon. **They left me alone for most of the morning so I was able to work out and eat in peace. They only took my attention when they … well um…. Needed me. Before one of our last "I need you" sessions, I get a text message from my mother.

_"Born at 12:00pm on the dot, Elizabeth Evelyn Sloane, 6LBS 6 ounces; Mom and Baby are doing well- Just thought you might like to know. Mom"_

I feel unease wash over me and stick inside my veins. She is here, the living, breathing sign that Ana and I are over. Ana has a life now, and I need to move on with mine. Cassidy is pretty, and she isn't as nearly as crazy as Tiffany, maybe I can take her to dinner tonight.

"Who is that?" Cassidy asks me as I lock my phone and set it down on the table.

"My mother," I tell her.

She sighs, "How sweet, what did she say?"

"Ummmm a friend of mine had a baby," I cough out.

"How sweet," she says as she grabs my hand.

"Would you have dinner with me tonight?" I ask her, "Just the two of us."

Her eyes light up at the possibility, "Sure…. But we need to make it a three person date."

"Why?"

"Tiffany goes nuts when she isn't included…. But I bet we can lose her later," she says with a smile.

**Ana**

** It is just me, RC and Elizabeth, sitting in my hospital room as RC holds our sleeping daughter. **In this moment, I wish I was sure of whom her father is. So if she is his, he can have this moment of victory with his new little girl. I hate that this is so uncertain, and I wish he could have this peace.

"She looks like you," he says, looking back up at me.

I nod, "She does…"

He looks back down at her, face full of love. "I love her."

Tears fill my eyes as I nod. "I'm so glad you do…"

He looks up at me and shakes his head. "Ana…. I'm sorry for being a dick."

"I deserved it…."

"No you didn't," he says, shaking his head, "I just want us to figure this out. I want you to be crazy about me."

"I am crazy about you," I say with a sob.

"Sometimes I feel like you are, and then sometimes I wonder."

"Listen", I say as he moves to my bed with her in his arms, "I love you… I wouldn't have married you if I didn't. You're it for me, and if I could do anything to appease whatever insecurities you have…. We can even do the paternity test…. It won't hurt my feelings."

He shakes his head, "No…. that's ok."

"No?" I ask, slightly confused as to why he is turning this down.

He shakes his head again, "I just think that will make it worse. She is mine, I don't need a test to prove that."

I lean over to give him a kiss. "Thank you."

**Ana – 6 months later **

** "Baby," I hear in my ear, "Baby… I've gotta go."**

I open my eyes and see Elizabeth curled up next to RC's side. "You aren't taking the baby to the radio station are you?" I ask.

He snorts, "Oh yeah, I forgot, its take your baby to work day… no, she was crying while I was getting ready and she seemed hungry."

"Yay," I say as I sit up, "Thanks for bringing her in here."

He leaves me a kiss on my temple, and kisses Elizabeth on hers. "I love you. I've gotta go… I'm already late."

I turn over and notice that it is 4:45 AM, and he has to arrive at 5 AM. "Don't speed, please," I tell him.

"I won't baby…. bye my girls."

**I sit up suddenly and I hear Elizabeth crying down the hallway. **I rush down and pick her up, and I turn to see the clock. 6 AM – RC's radio show should already be on. Hoping that Daddy's voice will calm my upset infant, I flip on the radio and search for his station. I hear different voices flood her bedroom, and I am suddenly very confused.

I walk down the hallway and I check my cell phone. My eyes go wide when I see all of my missed calls and text messages. Most of my missed calls are from my father, and I immediately call him back.

"Ana, what the hell?" he snaps at me when he picks up.

"Sorry… Dad, I was asleep…. What's wrong?"

He sighs, "Baby…. I'm coming by your house to pick you up… something happened."

"What?" I ask him, "What happened?"

"It's Sloane…. Umm…. He was in a car wreck on his way to work."

I hold on to the bed, terrified my knees will give out with Elizabeth in my arms. "Dad… hurry," I choke out.

"I'm on my way…."


	19. The Rememberance

**A/N – We're back to where we left off at the end of chapter 1…. Thank you so much for the great response from last chapter! This is RC's "Remembrance" (I created a new phrase) and so it's definitely going to be a tear jerker. I hate killing off characters so I wanted to do this the right way, but I also think it will move the story right along. So grab those tissues and try to enjoy.**

**I don't own FSOG**

**Chapter 19 – The Remembrance **

**Ana**

** I stand in front of my mirror, trying to fix my appearance. **My world shouldn't expect much out of my look today. I want to look nice, but I am not going out of my way, I don't really care enough for that right now. My hair hangs straight down my back, and is curled at the bottom. My black lace dress sits just above my knee, and I force plain black heels on my feet. Evelyn did my makeup earlier and I am thankful. I was fine going without, but I know I need it. I am ready to go, or as ready as I can possibly be.

I take in a deep breath, and I turn to go find my daughter. I get stopped at the door by my mother before I have a chance. "You look beautiful baby…" she says as she walks up behind me. She wraps her arms around my stomach and leaves me a kiss on my cheek.

"Thanks Mom," I say, adjusting my black dress, "Where's the baby?"

"Evelyn has her," she tells me. She notices the tiny locket around my neck, and places it in her hands to investigate. "I've never seen this before…. Where did you get it?"

I snort, "I'm surprised you haven't seen it yet. Sloane gave it to me after the baby was born. I've worn it every day since."

She nods, "I guess just because it is small."

"I like it the way it is," I tell her, defending Sloane's thoughtful present, "It has a picture of the three of us in it." The thought brings a sob from my throat and my mother holds me tight.

She sighs, "I'm so sorry honey…. I can't imagine what this is like for you."

I nod, "I'll be ok…. I just need my baby."

Right on cue, Evelyn walks in with Elizabeth in her arms. My baby girl is dressed in black ruffled dress with a white headband around her sandy blonde hair. Evelyn smiles sadly and hands Elizabeth off to me.

"Someone wanted to see Mommy," she tells me as Elizabeth grabs a hold of me.

I hold back a sob as I kiss her small head. She smiles contently, and it breaks my heart. "She doesn't even understand what today will mean for her life…"

"But maybe…. She's here to keep us happy today," Evelyn suggests, "Her sweet smile and her sweet cheeks - who would dare try to be sad with her around?"

I look down at my daughter and she grabs onto my hair. "Maybe you're right?" I say, holding on to her tighter.

"Let's go," Mom says, pulling at my other hand, "It's time."

**We decided on a gravesite burial for RC with a reception afterwards at our home. **RC was never the type of person who shied away from talking about death. His best friend in high school died during their senior year, and that moment profoundly impacted how he felt about the subject. He always told me he wanted a celebration. "A remembrance" he told me and not "A funeral".

So Jackie and I decided to go low key, and fun – if you could call any of this fun. RC Sloane had tattoos up his arms, piercings, and played music for the masses every single day of his life, and he didn't want the celebration of his life to be a snooze fest, or a cry fest. I shake my head as I remember our conversation over the topic.

"_Baby, when I die, you better not fucking cry about it…."_

"_Are you kidding me?" I huffed at him, "It will kill me and you expect me not to cry over you?"_

"_I want you to enjoy life…. Like I do. I want you to remember how sweet I was, and how good of a father I was, and how I rocked your world in bed every night…."_

"_God, Almighty."_

"_I want you to live your life if I die….. People are still in deep depressions over Jeremy's death, and I don't want that for you. I want you to remember me, not live in misery over me."_

_I looked down at my daughter and shook my head, "This has to be the strangest conversation to have while breast feeding."_

"_I'm just saying…." He admonished me, "We need to be prepared."_

"_I don't like the thought."_

"_Just remember to cremate me, and then stick me on the dresser in your bedroom," he instructed as Elizabeth finished her feeding._

"_Why?" I asked._

"_Because…. When you move on eventually, and your next husband is in your bedroom trying to have sex with you – he'll always know I'm watching him." His sure smug made me laugh. _

"_So you want to watch me and my new husband have sex….?"_

_That was the end of that conversation. _

We decided not to cremate him, the idea grossed Jackie out. His funeral is closed casket due to how badly the accident…. Mutilated him. I cringe whenever I think about it. I hate that he died in that way. I hate that I can't see him as I say goodbye. I don't feel like I can really say goodbye to my husband. I'll be saying goodbye to a box that holds his body.

Today, I will have a posse around me. My mother is with me along with Bob, Evelyn, and my Dad. I am thankful that even though my Dad and Bob dislike each other, they're putting up with each other for my sake. Elizabeth will stay on my hip no matter the circumstance. I need her today.

We're doing things backwards today. We'll have the first part of the remembrance at the burial site. We'll all join together, say a few words about Sloane, and I'll say the final goodbyes. Then once they lower him down, we're going to our home and having part two there. Considering the way he was killed, I wanted my husband's body to rest. I didn't want to parade him around and display him to the world. We can remember him better with pictures, and friends, and stories…. Not sitting around a casket speaking glumly to each other. I want him to rest in peace and know that he was loved by me and Elizabeth, his family, and his friends. Besides, RC would have wanted this way (if he didn't have a choice of cremation, of course).

When we arrive at the grave site, the minister is already there along with several other people. Jackie and David Sloane show up several minutes later with her brood of boys following. It kills me looking at Grady, Gage, and Peyton's devastated faces. They loved their brother, and he loved them right back. I hate this for them; they deserve to have their big brother. Without words, all three boys walk to me, and hug me at once.

"What are you guys doing?" I ask with a snort.

Grady smiles, "You are our sister." That's all it takes for me to burst into tears. Gage grabs a tissue from his Mom's purse and they continue to hug me as I wipe away my tears.

Overall, there is a big turnout. Everyone from the radio station is here, and a few of my colleagues came as well. Chris Parrish couldn't make it, but he sent a huge bouquet of flowers in his place. RC had an assortment of friends from around the city, and they all came, every single one of them. They all look and act just like my husband: tattooed, pierced and incredibly sweet. They'll make a lively crowd to have later at the house. They adore me, and even though I have zero tats on my body, they have taken me and Elizabeth in anyway. They've even given my girl a nickname, the same one that RC would often call her – Elle. I kind of like it. It reminds me of Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

The remembrance gets underway and the minister begins speaking about RC, and the tragedy of dying so young. When he talks about the young daughter he left behind, I begin to lose it. My Mom holds me close, and hands me more tissues. I am so thankful Evelyn used "waterproof" mascara on me today.

Jackie speaks about her son next. She talks about him and the man he grew up to be. I love her speech. Jackie reminds me a lot of RC – sweet, well spoken, loving, and very un-conventional. She talks about me, and the profound impact I had on his life. How we had our rocky moments, but she always knew that I would be the women who could take care of her son next. Jackie is Italian by blood so that comment makes me laugh – Italian mothers are so overprotective of their sons.

Now, it's my turn. I've prepared a lot in my head, but I have no idea how this will actually come out. I have a feeling that I could cry the entire time, and everyone would get it.

I stand up and nod to my family, needing their strength today. "We're all here today because we loved Ryker Collin Sloane. Sorry baby, I know you hated being called that, but I am doing it anyway…."

The crowd laughs and I take in another deep breath. "RC was my first love. I met him in college, and fell instantly for him. He was the bad boy with the good heart. He said how he felt, he did what he wanted, and he didn't make any apologies for it. He loved his job, he loved his brothers, and his friends, and of course his mother. His capacity for love has always amazed me."

I take in another deep breath. "And he loved me…. I never understood it and I don't think I ever will. He loved me unconditionally and he made no apologies for how deep that love went. We met when we were seniors in college, and he needed a tutor. So I helped him, and we ended up being inseparable. When he asked me out on a date, he called me his angel. I didn't know exactly what that meant until I got to know him better."

Jackie nods at me sweetly as I continue my story. "He struggled in high school with drinking and partying …. And he almost didn't get to go to college. He hung out with the wrong crowds in college as well and when I came along…. He told me that I saved him. I showed him the way and I loved him despite his crap. Besides his family, no one else had done that for him."

I look up, and then look down at RC's casket in front of me, not sure where to talk. "Baby, you saved me too…." I say, as if no one else is around, "I love you so much, and I am going to miss you like crazy. I don't know what I am going to do without you. You're one of the best men I have ever known, and I hate that I have to wake up tomorrow without you next to me. I love you…. Elizabeth loves you…. And we're going to miss you so much."

I sat back down in my seat, and cried into my mother's shoulder until the service ended.

**We moved the party to my house, and I get a chance to see everyone. **I love RC's friends, but I know they make my Dad nervous. He turns to me, eyes worried as he stares them down.

"I've thrown that one in prison before," he whispers to me, "And that one has two DUIs…"

"Daddy…. Let them grieve the loss of RC in peace…. Throw cop Dad out the door."

He shakes his head at me, "RC wasn't like that."

"He used to be," I inform him, "I married a reformed hoodlum."

"Anastasia," he says shaking his head. I kiss him on the cheek and move on.

I smile, I talk, I hold Elizabeth – I do everything I am supposed to do during something like this. Staring at RC's pictures, I can't believe we are here because he is gone. It feels like RC is about to step through the door at any moment, and the fact that he won't absolutely kills me. I grab the baby from Jackie and head upstairs. I need a second to think.

Elizabeth and I find a spot in the back of my closet, and I rest in the silence. Baby girl looks pretty tired and cuddles up to me as we sit. I sit in silence for a little longer when a breeze drifts through the closet. His scent begins to fill my nostrils and I try everything to not cry in this moment. I reach up for one of his shirts, and I take in his scent.

That's when the sobbing continues. I don't think I'm ever going to stop crying uncontrollably. A part of me died, and I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I am so lost right now.

I look down at Elizabeth and tiny tears fill her little eyes. Fuck me; I need to get her to bed. It's time she took a break from her teary mother and got some sleep.

**Jackie comes up an hour later to say goodbye. **Elizabeth fell asleep in my arms and I'd rather she slept here than in her crib. She gives us both a hug and she looks towards our bedroom.

"We'll need to start sorting through his stuff pretty soon," she tells me, "And we need to decide what goes where with lawyers. But we don't need to talk about that now."

I nod, "He didn't have a will… how will that work?"

"Don't worry, you'll be well protected," she nods and then suddenly looks very uneasy, "But I'm not sure about Elizabeth."

I look up at her confused. "What do you mean?"

She shakes her head, "I shouldn't have said anything…. I don't want to upset you."

"Why would you upset me Jackie?"

"Ana," she pleads, "Now is not the time."

Then suddenly it hits me. "You know, don't you…?"

She nods, "He told me of the possibility….. So…. we're going to ask for a paternity test before we begin. I'm so sorry Ana…."

Once Jackie walked out of Elizabeth's room, I began crying a lot more. So much so that Elizabeth woke up again and couldn't go back to sleep. I decide to take her back downstairs, and spend more time with my family. Hopefully, they'll be able to block out any more bad thoughts.

**My family and I are all exhausted by day's end, and each of us takes up our own couch space in the living room. **RC believed in a lot of comfortable seating space, and we entertained often. This was where I met most of his friends, and this is where most of our parties took place. We also made love on every single couch in this living room, but I decide that's not something to announce with both of my fathers present.

Unexpectedly, a car pulls up and stops in our driveway. I sit up and look around the room. Everyone is tired, and no one seems to care we have a visitor. Elizabeth and Evelyn are playing and she shrugs when I look over at her.

"Don't everyone rush at once…. I've got the door," I tell them as I walk to see who has arrived.

I walk outside and notice an older man and woman pulling out a flower arrangement. It takes me a second to identify the couple in question. I open the door and I hear their voices carry across my lawn.

"Carrick, be careful," Grace nags him, "Don't destroy it before it even gets a chance to make it inside."

"What are you guys doing out here?" I yell across my lawn.

They both turn and look up. "Hello dear…" Grace says, "We didn't want to interfere with today so we decided to come now. I hope that's ok."

I nod, "That's fine."

Grace beams, "We brought you food, and Carrick has a flower arrangement that he is trying to destroy."

I feel myself giggle for the first time today. "Thank you…. Come on in."

**Once Grace and Carrick enter my home, and everything seems easier. ** I am thankful for the beautiful lilies, and the food Grace's cook made. Elizabeth and I will definitely be eating well for a while. I have flowers all over my house from a myriad of individuals, but Grace's arrangement definitely stands out the most.

My sleeping family magically wakes up for Grace and Carrick. We chat, we eat some more, and it feels so normal. I am so glad they came over. After everything that has gone on today, they've made this evening so much easier.

After a while, baby girl is finally ready for bed, and Grace helps me put her to sleep. I change her diaper and clothes and Grace rocks her to sleep. I watch them contently and Grace smiles back at me when she catches me peeking.

"Ana…." She whispers, "I have a question for you."

I nod, "Fire away."

She shrugs, "What color were RC's eyes?"

My face scrunches in confusion. "Um…. Green. Why?"

She nods, "And yours are blue?"

I snort, "Last I checked."

She nods again, "Well…. You see. Babies tend to gain the eye color they'll keep in life around six to nine months…..Elizabeth's age."

I nod, "I think I've read that somewhere."

"And dear," she continues, "Please let me know if I am speaking out of turn, but… I just don't see how Green and Blue will create a Grey eyed baby."

My blood runs cold, and I feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes. "I don't mean to upset you."

I shake my head and lie, "You aren't."

She nods, and eyes me anxiously. "Where would a grey eyed baby come from? Possibly a grey eyed father? A copper headed, stubborn, and quite stupid when it comes to relationships father?"

I nod and feel the tears fall down my face. "There's a chance…" I whisper.

She nods and leaves a small kiss on Elizabeth's head. We don't speak of him for the rest of the night.


	20. Starting from Scratch

**A/N – This chapter's main purpose is to fill in some gaps that I missed before. There is a bit of jumping, but I hope I labeled it well and it's easy enough to follow. I know I am terrible about responding back to questions, but if you do have them – let me know. I'll try my best to give a good enough answer. **

**Thank you again for ALL of your comments, follows (301! That's awesome), and favorites …. You guys are awesome even when I suck at corresponding! I don't own FSOG**

**Chapter 20 – Starting from scratch **

**Ana**

I have decided that I hate living alone as much as I hate sleeping alone. I guess I'm technically not living alone; I have my daughter with me. Nothing against my little Elizabeth, but If there would be some type of burglar at my home in the middle of the night, she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I've never lived through someone robbing my house in the middle of the night, but I stay nervous. I'm the daughter of a cop, and I have always been this way. I've gotten better since I met RC; suddenly tattooed, pierced bad boys seemed less dangerous to me.

My baby is seven months old today and I've spent the entire day baking cupcakes to celebrate. We do this for every month, taking pictures and letting her eat a cupcake for each month of her little life. Some mothers wait till they turn one, but I like celebrating every milestone. Losing Sloane has caused me to live like this, live for every moment because you don't know when it will be your last.

Elizabeth is scooting around the house now, acting like she wants to crawl. I know she wants to so bad, but she still hasn't figured out how to do it. She's also teething, and fussing like crazy. I hate how uncomfortable she is and even though it is just nature, I want to hurt whatever puts my daughter through pain. Evelyn comes in and out and has been the biggest help for me, and I am almost tempted to ask her to stay permanently. Didn't I say that I hate living alone?

The doorbell rings, and I pick Elizabeth up from her high chair. I open my front door, and there he stands. I've been expecting him all day, and that's probably why I have so many cupcakes. I've needed a distraction. The last time I talked to him, I kicked him out of the hospital and told him I'd call the cops. While he isn't my favorite person, I regret saying all of that to him.

"Hi," he tells me.

"Hi," I respond back. I know why he is here, but we still need to have this conversation. I show him inside, and he follows me dutifully.

I can't help but notice how he looks at Elizabeth, like he knows. It causes weird feelings to shoot down my spine, and I try my best to ignore the topic running through my brain.

"Cupcakes?"

He turns and sees the assortment I have sitting on my kitchen counter and nods. "Thank you. Why so many?"

I regret telling him about the cupcakes and I regret the answer I am about to give him. "It's Elizabeth's seven month birthday…."

I see him physically freeze and then a smile crosses his lips. "Then I'll definitely have one."

We sit in silence a little longer, both eating our cupcakes. I don't know how to start this, even though I know exactly where this conversation is going to go.

"Ana…." Christian begins, "They've requested a paternity test, and My Dad wants you to take it through his people…."

I nod, "Ok."

"Dad wants to help you…"

"Not because of…." I interject.

"No," he says, shaking his head, "Sloane's family is on the defensive, trying to figure out how to write Elizabeth out. I know that's not what Sloane would have wanted and we want to help you. With all of it…"

"Why does it matter?" I ask him, "If she is their blood – they'll forget this and take care of her. If she's not then…. She'll be …."

"Mine," he says softly, turning his gaze to my daughter.

I nod, "So why…."

"Because," he says, drinking the last of the milk I poured for him, "I want RC's wishes to be followed through. I know he wouldn't want his family to act like this, and I know he wanted more for her."

"Why do you care so much about RC's wishes?"

He smiles sadly, still looking at Elizabeth. "It's the least I can do…"

I try not to think too much about that, focusing on Elizabeth's immediate need to get out of her high chair. I pick her up and sit her down on the ground. We watch her intently for several moments.

"Mom and I will meet you tomorrow morning at the hospital," he tells me, "We can take it from there with the testing."

"It's quick, right?"

He nods, "We have some of the best technology on the West Coast."

"Is it the same one you used to test Milania?" I ask him. Don't think I haven't thought about how much this situation feels like Milania's. I feel like the same kind of whore.

"Don't do that," he says, interrupting my thoughts, "Milania is a manipulative weasel. You were unfortunately in love with both of us. We broke up and you found solace in someone else…. Don't do that to yourself. You aren't her."

I nod, "Ok."

He sighs, "I'll see you both in the morning." Suddenly, his eyes turn down to the ground and a smile crosses his lips. "You'll need those baby fences soon… with her crawling like that."

"Crawling?" I gasp as I turn around. Sure enough, baby girl is crawling like a mad woman and I can't help but cry. "Baby girl, you're crawling!" I say as I lean down in front of her.

"She hasn't done that yet?" Christian asks.

I shake my head. "No she hasn't…. she has wanted to, but hasn't been able." I pick her up and kiss her small head several times. "That's Mommy's good girl!"

I look up at Christian and I see an unnamed emotion spread across his face. I turn back to Elizabeth, unable to look at him any longer. I hold her close and he moves towards the door.

"I'll see you in the morning Ana….."

**Christian **

** To say I'm not nervous as I wait for paternity test results is an understatement. **I know Ana, so I know that I have a 50/50 chance of being Elizabeth's father. Normally, like with Milania, the thought of becoming a father would terrify me. With Ana, I am energized by it. She has always made me want to be a better man, and this instance is no exception. I know next to nothing about being a father, but that fact doesn't deter me from wanting this baby to be mine.

She has to be mine. I'm pretty sure it will kill me if she is Sloane's. The time of her conception is nothing but ironic. The night I was saying goodbye to Anastasia was the night I would become entwined with her forever. Fuck, she has to be mine.

Ana and I have a lot to resolve, I'm not an idiot. I know I'm not Anastasia's favorite person right now. The fact that she has remained civil with me, apart from my visit to the hospital, is a goddamned miracle. She is also still dealing with the death of Sloane, and I need to be careful with her. I can't piss her off, no matter how hard that might be to accomplish.

Sloane must have had an idea that I could be her father, but she also could have kept that fact from him. I don't know, and I am going to try to keep it that way. That's a line I don't plan to cross right now. No matter how we look at this, Elizabeth's paternity is a sensitive issue and I need to handle them both with sensitive hands.

The phone rings and I practically jump. "Hello?"

"Alright," Dad begins, "That's it. You're the kid's father."

I feel my heart fly out of my chest. "Really?"

I can hear the smile in his voice, "Really…. But we all really must remain quietly ecstatic about this, for Ana's sake. This really isn't the best time for her to find out about this."

"You're ecstatic?" I ask him.

"Of course I am," he says, "You've been associated with two paternity tests over the past couple years, and I couldn't have asked for better results."

I nod, "So where do we go from here?"

"I think you should tell me…. This is your daughter, Christian," he reminds me, "but I will say, whatever we do has to be done AFTER we deal with the Sloane's."

"We?"

"She needed legal representation so I stepped in," he tells me.

"Thanks for helping her Dad…."

"Of course," he says, "Now… where do we go from here?"

**Ana **

** With the paternity results in, I am forced to have a second "will" meeting with Sloane's family. **I haven't had much time to think about the results, but frankly – I'm not surprised. I think all along, I always knew. Even when I was pregnant with her, I knew that she was Christian's. I am more "numb" to the idea now. I've lost my husband along with the last possible link to him – I don't like that feeling.

When I walk into the room, I know Jackie feels the same way. She and David haven't been so nice about this process which surprises me. Their treatment of me has destroyed any goodwill my mom and Bob had with Sloane's family. They've separated themselves from me, a family who used to love and accept me, and to say this isn't devastating is an understatement. I hate that they hate me.

I came to this session without Carrick, considering the circumstances – I thought this was a good move. I take a seat and I know Jackie has been crying. David doesn't look happy either, and I try my best not to look at either of them. I'm ashamed too, I don't like this either. I don't like that they had to find out this way. RC accepted it, but not everybody is RC Sloane.

"I know everyone in this room is on edge today," the mediator begins, "But I have to bring something to our attention that just shows the great character of RC Sloane."

Jackie looks away and David stares ahead. "It has come to our attention that RC started a bank account in Elizabeth's name," the lawyer adds.

Jackie's eyes go wide, and David shakes his head. "Well it doesn't matter anymore," Jackie huffs, "Her name is going to change soon anyway. She won't need the fund my son set up for her, she'll have the Greys." She says the name Grey like it is a dirty word.

I shake my head, "You don't get it."

Jackie snaps, "Don't tell me I don't get it… I understand perfectly."

"RC knew I was pregnant and knew there was a 50% chance that the baby wasn't his, but he loved her and me anyway…. He took us in and loved us unconditionally. This is what he wanted…. He wanted you to see that she was his, and it didn't matter whose blood is in her veins."

"You were married to my son, and you were still in love with Christian," she hisses, "I sat there while he bared his heart to me, and he told me that you weren't even in love with him…"

"I did love him, Jackie," I snap back, "Don't tell me I didn't love my own husband."

"Not enough," she practically sobs, "Don't you understand how this makes me feel? My son dies madly in love with you, and his baby…. and it turns out he had doubts about you and the kid isn't even his."

"You can believe whatever you want," I yell back at her, "But I did love him."

"She was my only last connection to my son," Jackie sobs. I now see the root of her issues, and no matter how big of a bitch she is being – I feel devastated that I couldn't give her that. "She was supposed to be the last remaining piece of him, and I don't even have that…. I have no more remaining connections to my son….I hate you for that Ana…."

I sob, so overcome with the emotion of the moment. I didn't want to do this to her, I didn't ever mean to hurt her, but I did anyway. I hope RC forgives me for this. She stomps out of the room as the lawyer continues with the meeting.

**That evening – Christian**

** Mom lays Elizabeth in her crib, and I go search for Ana. **She looked lost and upset when we arrived, and I want to make sure she is ok. Whenever Ana is upset, I can't help but want to make her feel better. It's a reflex of mine, I can't help it.

I crack open her bedroom door, and I see her seated in the middle of her bed. She is sobbing profusely and I feel my heart stop. "Ana?"

She looks up, wiping away her tears. "Are you done with her?"

I nod, "She's asleep."

"Good," she says, still drying her eyes.

"Baby, are you ok?" I ask as I walk further inside her room.

She holds up a finger. "Stop…. Don't call me that."

I freeze. "Sorry…. Habit. But seriously, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head, "It's nothing."

"It's not, nothing."

"Can we talk about something else?" she snaps at me.

I nod, "Dad and I want to come over tomorrow to work on her trust fund with you, and a few other things we need to set up for her."

She looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "I don't want my daughter to be a trust fund baby."

"Well…. She's my daughter and that's what my daughter is going to get."

She shakes her head and I see anger bubbling. "Is this how it's going to be with you and me from now on? We share a kid, and so now you get to make every decision? What's next, you're going to give her a name change?"

"Well…."

She huffs, "Why are you changing her name?"

"She's my daughter, Anastasia. I want Grey at the end of it."

"You don't even know her," she fires back.

"I was never given a chance to know her," I yell back at her. So much for walking on egg shells, I think that plan has been shot to hell.

"So what, are you going to come up with some custody agreement?" she asks, "Are you going to force me to hand her up every weekend…. So I've lost my husband, and now I've lost my daughter."

"I would never take her from you like that," I tell her honestly, "I've missed six months of her life…. I can't miss any more."

She nods, and I know she is holding back tears. "I get that," she whispers.

"I know you don't like me right now," I tell her, "But we need to work this out. You loved me at one point, I mean – she wouldn't be here if you hadn't, and I think we should be able to work this out."

She looks up at me with a curious expression on her beautiful face. She looks down at her hands and eventually nods. What she needs is to be held and loved, and I can give that to her if she would let me.

"We can work this out….. I'll try."

"And I'll try too…."


	21. A New Beginning

**A/N – Thank you so much for all your reviews from the last chapter! You guys are great! I don't own FSOG **

**Chapter 21 – A New Beginning **

**Ana**

** In the end, with all the stuff Jackie and David's Lawyers put me through, it didn't matter.** Everything went to me. Jackie was just angry, and she used what she thought she could against me. I get it, I understand why she did it, and I don't hate her for it. RC told me a while back that when his mother gets upset, she immediately reverts to defensive anger. I now understand completely what he meant.

So for weeks, Evelyn and I have gone through all of Sloane's possessions. All of his belongings, all of his online accounts…. Everything. He only had a small amount of credit card debt, which I knew about, and two unpaid parking tickets. There is little to no parking around the radio station and so I know he often went to war with the parking attendants at work. I paid everything off with no trouble. For someone who had tattoos and piercings – he sure ended up being quite the Boy Scout.

The radio station asked that I keep both his twitter and Facebook pages alive as a memorial to RC. Fans of his radio show continue to leave comments and videos of Sloane, and I often go there when I need a RC fix. As Evelyn and I went through his belongings, we found a few things that we could possibly auction off to charities that RC supported, and Twitter and Facebook helped us promote our auctions.

As far as his physical belongings, it took Evelyn and me almost a month to go through everything and divide things up. I sent all of his suits to Jackie – I figure Grady, Gage, or Peyton could wear them at some point. Soon after the suits went to the Sloane's, I got a visit from Grady, Gage, and Peyton. They wanted a lot of his stuff to remember him by. They also had a list from Jackie of the items she and David wanted specifically. Peyton told me later that they were instructed to be nice about it, and if I wanted anything on her list, they were to ask me kindly for them. Hopefully, this is a sign that Jackie is seeing the error of her ways.

Towards the end, I felt that everybody got what they wanted. I got the things I wanted from Sloane, the boys got what they wanted, and everything on Jackie's list was gathered for the most part. I am glad I was able to give the boys what they wanted along with Jackie's demands.

After we finished, I found an extra suit that I hadn't sent over to the Sloane's and Evelyn begged Grady to try it on. He finally agreed, and when he came out to show us, I almost fell into a fit of tears. Grady looks so much like Sloane, and in one of his suits – he looked dashing.

"Jesus, stop crying Ana," Grady begged.

I couldn't help it. He looks way too much like his brother. Before the boys left with their belongings, Peyton turned to me and whispered.

"Can you send me pictures of Elizabeth….?"

"Why?" I ask, curious about Peyton's request.

"Mom told us she isn't RC's…. but that doesn't mean I still don't see her as my niece. I don't understand my Mom, RC was so willing to adopt her. That's kind of cool."

I couldn't help my tears. "Your brother was a good guy."

He nodded, "I guess I never realized it until he died. I'm going to miss him."

We hugged before he walked out the door and I tried not to cry harder.

I asked Christian to not come over until I could sort through all of RC's belongings. Something about giving RC the respect of keeping Christian away during this process sounded right to me. Christian didn't like the idea, but he stayed off as long as possible. He is an impatient person and I know he wants to see his daughter, and I am trying my hardest to accept the fact that he is going to be around much more now. This transition isn't easy for me, and I constantly feel like a bitch.

"You aren't a bitch," Evelyn says as she begins fixing tea for our guests who will be here shortly, "You're grieving right now. You've been through a lot of shit, give yourself a damn break."

One transition that I have enjoyed is having Evelyn move into the house with me. I love having her here. She keeps me sane, and is excellent Aunt to Elizabeth. I hate taking her life from her, she deserves to go out and create her own family. Hopefully living with me won't deter her from that.

"It's hard," I say as she hands me a glass of water.

"I know…., but that's life sister friend."

The doorbell rings, and Evelyn happily walks over to open the door. I hear Carrick, Grace, and Christian's voices flood through the hallway. I know why they're here, and I feel instantly uneasy. I don't want to have this conversation; I am done talking to lawyers. I need to stay calm – Carrick is a nice lawyer. He helped me through my shit with Jackie and all he wants to do is protect Elizabeth. She is a Grey, and she should get Grey protection.

I meet them in the living room, and Grace sweetly embraces me. Christian and Carrick stay in the back, and I can't help but see how Christian is looking at me. He needs to quit with those "you're the only person in the room" and "I love you" eyes before I deck him.

"Anastasia, you look beautiful as always," he says huskily as he leans over for a hug.

We quickly hug, I make sure I don't linger, and we both take a seat at opposite ends. I look down at my blue maxi dress and shrug, and I know the "you look beautiful" comment is crap. Before I had this dress on, I had on a t-shirt that Elizabeth puked on.

"Where is my sweet granddaughter?" Grace asks.

"Asleep," I tell her, "It is nap time, and she isn't feeling well."

Grace frowns instantly, "Oh dear, I hope it isn't something serious."

"I think it's just a tummy ache… she'll be fine."

This doesn't appease Grace, or Christian. "Well maybe Mom should look at her."

I shake my head, "She'll be fine. I don't think she's a fan of squash."

"Anastasia…." Christian admonishes.

"Your daughter is fine," I snap at him, "Now can we get on with this."

Evelyn leans over and holds on to my arm, imploring me to calm down. I take in a deep breath, my emotions have a habit of getting the best of me lately, and I know I need to chill. Carrick pulls out a few papers and he begins.

"We need to set up her trust fund," Carrick begins, "Now Christian and I discussed it and we understand your reticence against it."

"I want her to know the value of a dollar as well," Christian tells me, "She needs to know that she has to work to get the lifestyle we have…."

"You mean, you have," I inform him.

He nods; I know he wasn't expecting me to say that. "So I think she should be able to gain access to it when she finishes college or when she starts her first job."

I shake my head, "So wait, are we implying that she shouldn't go to college…. I don't like that."

"Well," Christian nods, "She could follow in my footsteps and not finish."

"She needs to finish," I correct him, "Not everybody is you."

"I agree," Carrick adds, "She'll finish college and then she'll receive it."

Christian nods his consent and we move on. Our next topic is the name change. I know Christian isn't going to like my suggestion, and will fight me on this.

"Elizabeth Evelyn Sloane Grey."

"Absolutely not," Christian hisses back, "She is not his kid."

"He loved and raised her for six months as his own….," I remind him.

"If I had it my way, he wouldn't have been around at all," he snaps. I expected this from him. "It is not my fault you lied to me."

I can't debate him on that. I did lie. I could have sought the truth as soon as she was born, but I didn't. I want Sloane to still have a piece of her, but with Christian so resistant – I don't think I'll be able to make this happen.

"Oh sweetheart," Grace croons, "My son is an ass, he didn't mean to make you cry."

I wipe away tears and suddenly hear Elizabeth's cries through the baby monitor. Thank God, saved by my child. I get up and begin walking toward the stairs.

"Do what you want, I don't care anymore," I practically sob, "I'll go get Elle."

I make a be-line for the baby's room and pick up my little girl. I don't want to go back down there, but I know we all have a lot more to talk about. I hold her as I continue to sob, and secretly hope that one day she won't know what it looks like to see her mother cry this much.

I hear a small knock on the door, and I turn to see Christian leaning against the frame. "I'll be down in a second," I say, trying to wipe away more tears.

"We can come back some other time," he tells me, "I'm sorry Ana…."

"You're right, I lied to you," I cough out, "I deserve this."

"Stop this," he says, his voice soft, "I've been insensitive. You've been through so much."

I shake my head, "It's fine."

"Stop with the 'it's fine' shit, I know you well enough to know that you're anything, but fine."

I take in a deep breath and try to calm myself. "This is just a shitty situation," I confess, "I don't know how to handle it."

He nods, "Ana…. I'm sorry if you feel like we're steam rolling over you. You seem so defensive, and I can't help but feel as if I have made you this way."

I nod, unsure of how to respond to that. "Go on…."

"I want to try to be friends. I care about you and somewhere deep inside, you care about me too. I know I fucked up our relationship and shot any trust you had in me out the water, and I want to have the opportunity to make things right…."

"I don't want to get back together," I tell him.

He shakes his head adamantly, "This isn't the time for that. I am just saying… that I want to be there for you, and be there for her. I've screwed up with you, and I want to make this right."

"So…. we'll be two friends who have baby together."

He snorts, "God, that would make a great sitcom. Yes, we'll be two friends who have baby together. My parents love you and are thrilled we had sex without protection so we could have this baby."

I feel a giggle escape my lips and his eyes brighten. "There we go…" he says softly, "I haven't seen that side of you in a while."

This is all nice and sweet, but I am not going to sugar code this, I am a fucking mess. I am ok in this moment, but my emotions have been like a yo-yo, and I don't see me getting over RC any time soon. Also, Christian and I have our own issues and insecurities to work through. This isn't going to be easy, we have a mountain to climb, and he most definitely has his work cut out for him.

"This isn't going to be easy…. Or smiles and rainbows. I am seriously fucked up right now."

He nods, "I know… but I don't care."

I really hope he means this, for both of our sakes.

**Christian**

** I got to hold Elizabeth for the rest of our meeting, and I loved every damn minute of it. **I've never been the "kids" kind of guy, but Elizabeth is different. She is sweet, and calm, and has a sweet smell that only babies seem to have. My Mom calls it the "baby girl" smell. She'll look up at me from time to time, and I can see it in her expression – she knows. She may have lived with RC Sloane for six months, but she knows who she belongs to.

I look across the room at Ana, and I see a ghost, shell of who she used to be. I am not sure if she sees it, but it's there. My Mom was the one who mentioned it to me, and now that I see it – I can't ignore it. She is hurting, and I feel as if it is my duty to fix it. I know our peace offering isn't going to be easy to follow through with. I've hurt her too much, Sloane's death has hurt her too much – she is bleeding and I'd do anything to stop it.

"I want you to see somebody," I blurt out. She looks up at me in surprise.

"What?"

"The shrink I've been seeing, he is excellent."

She shakes her head, "I don't need a shrink."

"Baby, he is the best," I tell her, "It might be nice to talk to a second party, to have someone listen and give advice."

Her body clenches and I know I've crossed a line with the "baby" comment. "Don't call me that."

"Ana," Evelyn jumps in, "I think that's a good idea, "Especially if he sees him…. He obviously knows how to handle a psycho."

The room snickers and I see Ana calm. "Fine," she says, "I guess that will be ok."

I nod, holding on tighter to my daughter. I came up with a plan for visitation when I was upstairs talking to Ana. She isn't going to like it, but I think it's the best way to do this. She's going to think I am trying to make a move on her, and really – I don't care at this point.

"So here is what I think we should do as far as "visitation"…" I tell her, "I want to come by every night and have dinner with you both. I can have Gail come and prepare food ahead of time, I can order take out, whatever. I'll take care of dinner… you just allow me to use your kitchen, and eat with Elizabeth and you every night."

Of course, she looks outraged by the idea. "You want to have dinner with me every night?"

"I want to have dinner with my daughter every night, and I'd like for you to join us."

"No way…." She huffs, "Dinner sounds like a date."

"Our daughter will be there."

"I think that's a great idea," Evelyn butts in. Thank God for Evelyn. She really knows how to calm Ana down and show her sense. I need to figure out her secret. "He works a lot so dinner is the perfect time to see her. Am I invited too?"

Evelyn's presence should help Ana feel more comfortable with the idea. I love that idea; I need to remember to send Evelyn flowers soon – she's been a big help. "Of course," I tell her, "See Ana… it's not a date. It's only a date with my daughter that I have invited you and Evelyn to."

She shakes her head, "Fine, Grey. You can have my kitchen every night."

I nod in victory. I look down at Elizabeth. "Hey, Daddy gets to come over to dinner every night…. Aren't you excited?" I ask her. She looks up and grins, and I know she hears me.

"What if I can't make it," Ana asks suddenly, "You aren't ready to handle a toddler by yourself…. Sloane was barely ready."

She has a point, but I certainly don't like the idea of Ana not showing up to dinner. I guess it will happen from time to time, but I don't like it. "Evelyn, or Gail, or Mom or Mia can come…. It doesn't matter. You have a life, I understand that."

She nods, accepting my words. "By the way," I continue, "Work says you can come back whenever…. They understand what you're going through right now."

She nods, "I'll talk to Parrish. I want to start working from home."

"Don't rush it."

"Don't tell me what to do," she fires back.

"Ana, quit being a bitch," Evelyn tells her, "He's just trying to help."

She nods and takes in a deep breath. "Sorry….. maybe I do need to see your shrink."

"Yeah, you're kind of a nutcase," I shoot back at her. She looks insulted at first, but Evelyn bursts into laughter.

She smiles and nods, "I guess I am…"

"But you're a cute nutcase," Evelyn says and Ana giggles.

**As soon as it gets dark and Elizabeth begins to get grumpy, we decide it's time to leave. **I give Ana a hug, and small kisses to Elizabeth. She giggles happily and pulls on a chunk of my hair. Ana smiles as I flinch.

"Don't worry, that's a sign that she loves you," she informs me.

"Good."

I can't properly explain how good it is to see Ana again. I hate the circumstances, this isn't easy for her, but I hope this whole situation can give us a fresh start. As we pull away from the house, I realize what I have been missing all of this time. I need Ana. In the beginning, I thought she might need me to help her get over Sloane, but her absence in my life has made it clear that I needed her more. I am determined to put her back together, and to put us back together. Hurt and broken, she is still what I want over the life I've been living.

"That little girl is really something," Carrick says, shaking his head, "Of all the women to knock up… you really picked the right one."

"I still can't believe I'm a father…" I say in disbelief.

"You're going to need to be gentle with both of them," Mom reminds me, "It won't be easy."

I hope I can do this right, for both of them.


	22. The First (Awkward) Family Dinner

**Chapter 22 – The First (Awkward) Family Dinner**

**Ana **

**I am searching through my closet, trying desperately to find the perfect dress for tonight**. Gail is cooking in my kitchen, Elizabeth is dressed in the cutest blue floral baby jumper, and I am freaking the fuck out. Evelyn walks into my bedroom with Elizabeth in her arms and laughs.

"Having some trouble there buttercup?"

"What do you wear for dinner with your ex-boyfriend and recently discovered baby daddy?" I ask her, throwing my favorite purple dress to the ground.

She sighs, "Protective armor and a sword…. But you aren't Joan of Arc, so sad for you."

I scream in frustration. "Seriously Ev, what the fuck am I doing?"

"You need to chill," she tells me, "Don't dress up for this. Come downstairs in a t-shirt and shorts."

"Elizabeth has a blue jumper…." I remind her, "I feel the strange need to match my daughter."

"Well… Christian is here to see Elizabeth. We have just been invited to eat along with them. This is your house, you should get to wear what you want to wear," she tells me, "If you're too freaked out to impress him, then don't."

I guess I am feeling a little bit better, but I am still not sure about this. "Shorts and a T-Shirt?"

"I will if you will," she offers, "Here, I'll even pick them out for us."

**Having Evelyn with me tonight is already helping ease my nerves. **Her proposed tactic of not caring about how we look already has me calm. She is right, we're just eating Gail's creation, and sitting with Christian – I don't feel the need to impress him, at least not anymore.

Evelyn is able to score us both shorts from her massive collection of clothes. I am even more thrilled that I can fit into the pair she selected for me. I've been too stressed to work out, and with Sloane's death, I have only been to the gym once since the baby has been born. Evelyn also found us two ratty t-shirts – Evelyn got the Seattle Mariners for her, and found one of RC's Smiths shirts for me. They're both vintage and we seriously look like we're on our way to a bar or a concert.

Elizabeth looks like a complete doll and after her afternoon nap – she is a happy camper for her dinner with Daddy. I bring her downstairs with me and Gail smiles fondly. I love that Gail is back, I adored being around her when I lived with Christian.

"Good evening Miss Steele…."

"Gail," I admonish her, "It's Ana."

She nods, "Good evening Ana…. Good evening sweet girl." She leans over to tickle Elizabeth and she squirms so adorably at the affection.

"Smells good," I say, "What's for dinner?"

"Since this is your first dinner," Gail says as she places the plate on the table, "Mr. Grey wanted to keep it simple – Spaghetti and Meatballs with Salad and Bread sticks."

"Yummy," I hear Evelyn say as she joins us. I introduce Evelyn to Gail and they smile kindly at each other.

The doorbell rings, and I get a knot in my stomach. "I'll get it," Gail says, wiping off her hands. Thank God, I don't think I can even move right now.

I place Elizabeth in her high chair, and take a deep breath. Evelyn smiles and rubs my back. She leans in and giggles.

"This is going to be fine…. You're freaking out over nothing," she whispers as she gives me a small kiss.

I look at the table before Christian gets into the room. There are four places around the table, and two next to Elizabeth. I assume he will want to be on one side of her, and I will be on the other since I need to feed her. I take in a deep breath – we can make this work.

Christian enters the room, and I stop in my tracks. No matter the status of our relationship, he'll always look so damn good to me. Christian is dressed for work: button up shirt, dress pants, and an undone tie. He looks absolutely edible. He smiles, and looks me up and down. Throw the "dressing down" tactic out the window, I could be wearing a paper bag and I would still feel naked under his gaze. As he examines my appearance, I see nothing but lust in his eyes. I have to turn away for a second before I can speak to him.

"Good evening Christian," I say, way too formally.

He smirks, "Good evening Anastasia." He moves into the kitchen and leans over to kiss Elizabeth. "Hi honey, it's good to see you baby."

She squirms as he kisses her several more times. I can't help but melt when I see them together. They're both just so damn cute.

"Good evening Gail," he nods to his housekeeper as she places the food on the table, "Did we have a good first try… everyone happy with the food making situation? No conflicts or problems?"

Gail and I both happily nod at each other, and we continue on. As I figured, I took a seat on one side of Elizabeth, Christian on the other. We're sitting across the table and I consciously keep my feet to myself. I don't want to awkwardly play footsies with him when I don't mean to. Evelyn takes a seat next to me, and Gail attempts to dismiss herself.

"Stay," I say, grabbing her arm.

"No…" Gail says, shaking her head, "I don't want to get in the middle of family time."

The expression "_family time"_ throws me off for a second. "Please Gail, you made it," I plead with her, "Just say and eat with us."

She looks over at Christian and he nods kindly to her. She smiles, nods, and takes a seat with the rest of us. I try not to decipher the meaning of any of that, and I focus on what is ahead of me.

"Let us pray," Evelyn announces, holding her hands out to those next to her.

I look over at Christian and he has an expression of horrified amusement on his face. We exchange glances and he shakes his head at my sister. Evelyn would never pray for anything but discount Louboutins.

"What?" I ask and she laughs.

"Haven't you ever had a good meal?" Evelyn huffs, "A good meal involves prayer…. Now let us pray."

"Alright Bob Adams," I snort, referencing my very religious Step father, "Let's pray."

She nods and we all hold hands. Christian and I both take Elizabeth's sweet tiny hands. She giggles and we all bow.

"Dear God," Evelyn begins, "Thank you for this day and thank you for everything you have given us. I ask that you help us have an excellent dinner, and allow us to forgive others. There are several people at this table who need to talk about their problems, and I ask that you allow them an opportunity to right their wrongs. I pray for my sweet little God daughter, and I pray that you allow her to be sweet and pretty and classy and keep her off the pole."

"I'll pray to that," Christian mutters under his breath.

I giggle as Evelyn continues, "Thank you for these people. You brought them here for a reason so take the stubborn bull-ish and throw it out the window. Allow us to talk and be friends again because life was good when we were all friends. And thank you for Gail's hands that made this food. And we all said."

"Amen," I repeat, "Let's eat." I shake my head as we begin passing around the food. My sister sure knows how to make any awkward situation interesting.

**Dinner begins and we mostly stay quiet. **I'll look up and see Christian staring at me from time to time. We'll lock eyes and immediately turn away. I feel the charge between us begin to buzz, and I hate that. I don't want to feel anything for him; I can't feel anything for him.

"So thank you for the job recommendation…. I love the PR firm I work for now," Evelyn starts. I seriously love having her here, she is an excellent buffer.

Christian nods, "I'm glad you like them. Joseph Reynolds is a good friend of mine."

"Reynolds?" I ask her, "Did he create your PR firm."

She nods, "Yep, he's great."

We sit in silence for a little longer, and I feel the awkward spread through the room. I haven't had a discussion with Christian about anything besides the baby in over a year, and I don't even know what to say right now.

"When will you go back to work?" Christian asks.

"I've been doing some work from home, and I am thinking maybe another week or so before I get back to the office."

He nods, "That sounds good to me. Who is going to take care of the baby when you're at work?"

I shake my head, "I haven't thought that far."

"Well…." He says, and I know he is brewing a suggestion in his brain, "What if Gail watched her when you went back to work? You could bring her to Escala in the morning or Gail could come here. I'd prefer if she stayed in the apartment."

"Your apartment is not baby proofed."

"I can baby proof my apartment, Ana…." He tells me with a smile, "That's not an issue."

"Ok," I say with a shrug. I know he is suggesting this so he can have another opportunity to see her, but I have no reason to argue. I trust Gail to watch my daughter.

"Oh, I am so excited," Gail beams, "I get lonely during the day."

It suddenly hits me; I am going back to work soon. I haven't been separated from her ever, and the thought terrifies me. Christian immediately leans over and caresses my cheek.

"Hey…. It's ok," he says, as if he is reading my mind, "She'll be good, and you'll be good. You're the strongest person I know."

His words choke me up, and I try to keep an even keel. After all this time, he still affects me. I take in a deep breath and turn to my daughter.

"Ma-Ma," she garbles out. With that, I realize I haven't fed her during this entire conversation. I snort and shake my head. I pick up her spoon and dip it into her jar of baby food.

"Sorry baby, I keep forgetting to feed you," I tell her as she reaches for me.

"Can I try?" Christian asks. I notice his sweet and honest expression as he asks; he really wants to feed his daughter. How could I say no to that face?

"Of course," I say as I hand him over her food and spoon, "She is usually an excellent eater so you should have no problems."

"That is Daddy's girl," he says as he kisses her on the cheek. She smiles and giggles softly and he prepares his first spoonful. He moves the spoonful towards her lips and she gladly opens up. "Good girl," he murmurs as she eats. He prepares the next spoonful and feeds her again. I'm so pleased that she is gladly willing to eat for Daddy. Sometimes she throws a fit during meals, and I know Christian wouldn't stand for that.

"So I have a question for you," I ask Christian as he continues to feed Elizabeth, "How is this dinner thing every night going to work?"

He looks at me curiously, "What do you mean?"

"You have functions and fundraisers to go to," I remind him, "I've attended a lot of those with you… are you magically going to stop going to them."

"Are you kidding me? Why would I want to go to those?" Christian asks, incredulous, "You got me out of going to all of those stuffy parties and annoying functions. I would gladly pick Elizabeth over going to those crap functions."

"Christian…."

"Ana…" Christian replies back in the same tone.

"Are you sure?" I ask him, "You may have to go once in a while…"

"I send a check or I move it to lunch time if possible," Christian tells me, "Not a big deal… you come first."

"I come first?" I ask.

"I mean Elizabeth comes first…" Christian says, awkwardly correcting himself, "I mean you're the mother of my daughter and of course you mean a lot to me, but you know…"

"We get it Christian," Evelyn says with a snicker. She smiles and we move to a different subject.

**Elizabeth eventually fell asleep at the table so Christian picked her up and I followed him upstairs so we could put her in bed. **A bath tonight is out of the question so I'll wait till the morning. I wipe off her face and hands, and quietly show Christian how to change a diaper. Elizabeth doesn't stir, and I am thankful – she is cranky when you wake her out of her slumber.

I quickly get her into her onesie and Christian leaves her a kiss on her forehead before putting her in bed. I turn off the light, turn on her nightlight, and flip on a baby monitor. We close the door and take a seat on the first step.

"Thank you for allowing this to happen," he says to me with a whisper, "I like getting to know your routine with her, and she is just …."

"Perfect," I answer his thought.

He nods with a smile, "Perfect."

We sit in silence for a little bit longer, both of us unsure of what to say. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy our evening. It was uncomfortable at times, but it was nice to see Christian as "Dad" to Elizabeth. Things are still so awkward with us, and I have no idea how to fix things. We have a lot to talk through and way too much baggage. I don't even know if I want to fix things with him. Right now, the most I can handle is being friendly for Elizabeth's sake.

"Are you going to see Dr. Flynn?"

I look up at him and wonder if he knows if I called and scheduled an appointment. "Yes," I answer, "He fit me in before the holidays."

His eyebrows rise, "If you needed him, I could have gotten you an appointment any time, any time at all."

I snort, "He has a family too. I wouldn't do that to somebody." Apparently, everyone bends for Christian Grey during the holidays, no matter what the situation.

He shakes his head, "Speaking of the Holidays, My Mom was really hoping we could have Elizabeth take pictures with Santa…"

"Santa?" I ask, "Like at the mall?"

He snorts, "Yes…. Santa, but not at the mall – those guys are sex offenders. The GEH holiday party is this Saturday during the day, all Santas have been background checked and approved by me. I would like you and Evelyn to come with us …."

"Really?" I ask, surprised, "You want us to go to a GEH Holiday party with you?" His employees will be there, and they will see our dysfunctional family first hand. Rumors will spread, and I'm already dreading the looks of confusion and judgment.

"The world won't explode Anastasia." he jokes.

I hit him on the arm, "You know what I mean… are you ok with people seeing us at the Christmas party, being parents?"

"Yes," he says without question, "Absolutely."

"Alright," I breathe, "I guess we'll go to the Christmas party with you..."

He nods, "Fantastic."

**I walk him outside and we saunter silently to the car. **If I could name or title this dinner, we would call it "The Dinner of Awkward Silences". For our first dinner together, I guess that will have to be ok. Gail has taken her place at the passenger side of the SUV and Taylor nods from the driver seat. We stand in silence far apart from each other and Christian smiles widely.

"Thank you for tonight," he begins, "It was fantastic…. Sleep well."

"You too," I tell him back, "It was nice. I guess tomorrow night won't be so bad."

Before I have time to think, he closes the gap between us. Our lips are an inch from each other, and I know he wants to make a move. Instead of kissing me, he moves his lips up and kisses me softly on my temple. I am breathing hard, embarrassingly so, and I am both relieved and disappointed he didn't kiss me. He can't make a move. It is too soon, and we have too much to work through.

"Goodnight Anastasia," he breathes, his voice ragged.

"Goodnight Christian, I'll see you tomorrow."

He winks and opens the door, "I'll see you tomorrow."

**A/N – Thank you so much for reading! Thank you for 1000 Reviews! That is amazing! You guys are the best for putting me there! This was kind of a filler chapter that will move us forward. Next chapter I am hoping for some Dr. Flynn and some more reconciling and maybe a little bit of drama. Also – If you haven't read it yet, I did a one-shot about RC called "She smells like Vanilla and was dressed by a little birdies" …. Some of you asked for more RC so I hope you like it (no Christian in the oneshot, sorry!). I don't own FSOG and thanks again! **


	23. Why'd you lie?

**A/N – Thanks again for all your reviews, follows, and favorites. I do not own FSOG – I am just messing with EL James' characters for my own amusement. **

**Chapter 23 – Why'd you lie?**

**Ana**

** "Why did you lie to Christian about Elizabeth?"**

I am sitting in Dr. Flynn's office, and our session has to be almost up by now. Christian's GEH Luncheon is later today and Flynn was able to fit me in before this afternoon's festivities. I've been here since eight, and right now – I'd like nothing more than to leave.

We have talked about everything up to this point. Growing up, College, Meeting Sloane, My transition from Sloane to Christian, Christian and I's demise, and finally – life before and after Sloane's death. I am quite surprised by how fast I talk, and how much ground we've covered. I have never been to a shrink in my life, and the last thing I was expecting was this question from Flynn.

"Excuse me?" I ask, my voice almost a whisper.

"Why did you lie to Christian about Elizabeth?"

I cross and uncross my legs, trying to distract myself from the feelings that brew from this question. I fiddle with my fingers, and run a few fingers through my hair. I have no idea what to tell him.

"Is there a reason you're so uncomfortable with this question," Flynn asks, his eyes looking at me critically.

"I think it's because I don't have an answer," I murmur.

He shakes his head, "Ana…. I'm not asking this question out of judgment. I am just curious."

"Can I just blame Sloane so I can be on my way?" I ask as he snickers.

"I guess you could blame a dead guy, but I know he isn't the only reason…. Considering what you've told me – I doubt we can truly blame him for this," he tells me, "So I am going to give you time to think about this. It is time for you to go, but next week I want to hear your answer."

"Why?" I ask, suddenly curious, "Of all the types of homework I could have, why do you need this answer?"

"Because," he says, placing his notebook down, "Of what I have seen in our conversation and what Christian has told me…. This just seems…. Out of character for you… and when we do things out of character – there is usually a good reason. I am sure you had a very good reason to lie, and I intend to hear why."

"That rhymnes," I murmur as he snickers.

"I guess it does, Miss Steele."

I guess his reasoning makes sense so I'll go with it. We shake and he hands me his business card. "I give my business card to all new patients," he tells me as I exit, "Have a good week…. Go easy on Christian at dinner this week."

I snicker, "I've been good – I've played nice at dinner. We've been quite cordial all week."

He smiles, "Just continue to be nice to him. He's sensitive."

There is a twinkle in Dr. Flynn's eye that makes me smile along with him. Be nice to Christian and figure out why I lied to him – interesting homework for the week.

**Life resumes as I step into my house. **Both Evelyn and Elizabeth are sitting on the couch, surprisingly both ready to go. Elizabeth is playing with a few toys, cooing happily at whatever game she and Evelyn are playing. I notice that Evelyn is dressed in a red silk dress that is cut way too low and skimpy for a Family Holiday party. My baby girl on the other hand is adorable with her red sparkle dress that Christian bought for her.

"Elizabeth is dressed appropriately…. You are not," I inform Evelyn.

Her mouth drops open. "Seriously."

"Seriously," I say as I pick Elizabeth up, "Go change."

"No way," she huffs, "You aren't my mom… My friends at the party, from when I worked at GEH, will be dressed much skimpier then me."

"Seriously?"

She nods, "It's kind of a thing…. All the women dress sexy for…."

"I don't want to know," I say as I shake my hand in the air.

"They still throw themselves at his feet," she hollers at me, "And now that he is a DILF… I am not excited to see the line of women."

"Shut up Evelyn," I hiss as I slam my bedroom door.

**After twenty minutes of looking, I find the red lace dress that I wore to my parent's Christmas party two years ago. **I am relieved that I can fit into it, especially after having Elizabeth. By the time Evelyn does my hair and makeup and Elizabeth has a quick diaper change and a small snack, we're ready to go.

Christian's car arrives at exactly Eleven-Thirty, and he walks right to the front door. When he steps in, I hand him Elizabeth's bag, ignoring how god damn good he looks, and I grab Elizabeth. He immediately turns back around and we all head for the car.

When Taylor opens the SUV door for us, I notice that the car seat is firmly in place. Even though I know he realizes he needed the seat in order to transport her, he is still a 28 year old bachelor and I can't help but smile. He really does think of everything. He takes her from me with a smug grin spread across his face. Right before my eyes, Christian confidently straps his daughter in to her car seat.

"Christian Grey," I say in mock amusement, "When did you learn to do that?"

He smirks, "Ros and Gwen let me practice on the baby they adopted."

"Well how bout that…." I say as he finishes up, leaving a small kiss on Elizabeth's forehead.

We all three get in the car, and I notice that my sister is having some trouble sitting down appropriately. I shake my head at her and snicker.

"You wouldn't have this much trouble if you had just changed like I suggested," I tell her.

"Shut up Mom," she hisses back at me.

Christian looks back at us, but only smirks. "Your boss is coming this afternoon, Evelyn."

She nods, but looks out the window. "Your boss, it will be nice to meet your boss," I say to her.

"I don't want you anywhere near my boss," she hisses back at me.

"What's your problem?" I snap back, "I'm just trying to be nice and you're acting like I tore off your arm."

"Just leave my clothing choices alone, Ana," she snaps back, "I didn't tell you that your dress is kind of slutty…. Right, Christian?"

"I'm staying out of this," he says, shaking his head at our sister squabble.

I do notice that he glimpses at my dress and my legs for a fraction of a second before he turns back around. If he likes his eyeballs, he'll need to quit that. Lovely, this is going to be an interesting afternoon.

**When we finally arrive to the ballroom where the Christmas lunch will take place, I see what Evelyn was talking about. **90% of the women who are walking into the event are dressed like complete sluts. I feel instantly self-conscious. _Whatever_, I tell myself, _I am the mother of Christian Grey's kid, I am not here to compete – I am here so my daughter can spend time with her father._ Then I realize a startling truth – he is going to look absolutely adorable with his seven month old daughter on his arm. I will be toast when they see Christian with his baby girl.

"Stay with me today, ok?" Christian whispers in my ear.

"What?"

"Stay at my side…. My Mom will be here soon," he says, "Don't worry about all these people. I don't even know half their names."

I look up at him and he gives me a reassuring smile. "I can handle your worshippers."

He nods, "Fair enough…. I still want you by me though."

We enter the ballroom and it is filled to the brim with people. You can feel the buzz in the room, and I am in awe of the decorations, the music, and the food. There are carolers circling the room, and I see Santa in the corner. This party has Christian Grey written all over it, and the extravagance is overwhelming.

"Anytime you want to go," Christian whispers in my ear, "We can go."

I nod, "Ok."

"Can I hold her?" he asks, looking over at Elizabeth.

I groan, "You know how many women are going to be all over you because of her…. You're a DILF, Christian."

He snorts, "A DILF?"

"I can already see them fawning," I say, pointing out into the crowd. Clumps of Women and several of his business associates are already looking at us.

"It's just a pretty face baby…." he snickers, "But maybe this means you'll have to stand at my side all day."

He gives me his "carefree, All American Boy" smile and I concede. "Ok…"

**As soon as Christian takes Elizabeth, the room swarms him. **I'm slightly terrified that they'll overwhelm my daughter so Taylor very sweetly enforces a space limit between us and the crowds. Christian keeps me at his left side with Elizabeth at his right. Women come up to speak with him, batting their eyelashes as they talk, and every single time Christian pulls me against him. This is how we spend most of the afternoon, fighting off the people dying to speak with him.

"Oh," a blonde from the accounting department sighs, giving a disgusting smile, "I didn't know you got married."

I know what she is doing - it's the oldest trick in the book. Asking about a relationship status to imply that the couple in question is really not as committed as they seem; I don't care that I am not "with Christian", it still pisses me off. I am ready to shoot eye daggers at her until Christian holds me closer and kisses my temple. "No, I decided that women in general are bad news… so I went ahead and had a baby with my best friend."

With that, I decide to take Elizabeth for a small break. That display of affection has me confused, and I need a break from the crowds.

I am amazed and shocked by how calm Elizabeth has been with all of this. There are lot of people, and she is in a place she doesn't recognize – I figured we would have screaming or crying over the commotion. We took a diaper break earlier, but she needs another. I slip through the crowd and Sawyer leads me to a private room.

After I give her a snack and while I am changing her diaper, she quickly falls asleep on the couch. My sweet baby girl has been such a trooper, and I know she needs to nap in peace. I do have the striking need to pee, but I don't want to leave her alone. I look up at Sawyer and he nods.

"I've been given authorization to watch Elizabeth during this event," Sawyer tells me, "I know CPR, child safety…. No worries Miss Steele."

She's napping and has Sawyer, so I feel comfortable with escaping to the ladies room. "Thank you Sawyer," I whisper as he sits next to her.

I run off to the bathroom and take a minute to relax. I forgot what it is like to be with Christian in public. People are constantly watching, and always wanting to get more and more of his attention. It's exhausting, and I remember treasuring my time alone when we were together.

I finish up but hear two women's voices enter the bathroom while I am in the stall. I don't know why, but I feel the need to stop and listen.

"Oh my god, I cannot believe Christian is a Dad now…."

"He is so good with her…." The other girl says, "And she is a beautiful little girl."

"She is his kid? I'd be surprised if she was ugly," the other one replies, "Did you see the mother…. She is so pretty."

_ Wow, nice talk about me in the bathroom – this is new._

"Well she's Evelyn's sister…"

"They aren't blood, they're step sisters….," The other replies.

"Still," she says wistfully, "He called her his best friend…. That's so sweet. If I wasn't married, I'd go after him."

Both girls laugh and I hear the door open again. "EVELYN," one of the girls squeals.

"Hey Melissa, Hey Tara," I hear Evelyn say, "Have you seen my sister?"

"No…. Why…."

"Christian is looking for her…. The baby is awake from her nap and they want to take pictures with Santa," Evelyn says as I suddenly get anxious. I need to get out there, but now I am definitely trapped.

"Christian and your sister are so cute together."

Evelyn sighs, "Melissa, tell me about it, but it's touchy with Sloane recently passing."

"Oh I forgot about Sloane," Melissa sighs, "And her baby is Christian's…. that has gotta be awkward."

"I don't want to talk about her," Tara, or who I assume to be Tara, replies, "What about you and Joseph Reynolds?"

"Tara, for the love of God," Evelyn hisses at her, "Don't talk about him."

"Come on Evelyn, give up the goods…. Are you two still fucking?" Tara asks her.

_ Dear God. Evelyn is fucking her boss? Why didn't she tell me?_

"Stop it," Evelyn hisses.

"Joseph Reynolds is a fine piece of ass," Melissa replies back.

"We're having issues right now, "Evelyn admits, "He told me he was legally separated from his wife, but she keeps fucking showing up…."

My jaw is on the floor. I cannot believe I am in the dark about my sister's love life. _Oh Ev_, Dating your boss who is legally separated from his wife, that just spells trouble.

They both acknowledge how much her situation stinks and Evelyn quickly exits. I jump through the shock of knowing about my sister's romantic troubles and move out of the bathroom stall. Both Tara and Melissa turn to me and their jaws immediately drop.

"I'm sorry, but you came in before I could get out and now I have to get to my daughter," I tell them, "Please don't tell Evelyn I was here."

They both smile and nod so I make my escape.

**When I re-enter the ballroom, I see a group around Santa and my daughter in tears on his lap. **Christian looks absolutely frazzled, and I know the group around her is trying everything to get her to stop crying. I see Grace, and I see the same expression on her face. _Man oh man_, I wish I was in here earlier - time for Mommy to step in.

I push through and I go immediately to my baby. "Hey Santa," I say as I pick my daughter up, "Can we both sit on your lap?"

"Of course, young lady," he huffs as I take a seat with Elizabeth on my lap.

"Alright camera man…. Did you take pictures of her crying?"

"Yes ma'am," he nods to me. Crying Santa pictures are normal so I am not too concerned, but now it is my mission to make my child happy.

"Alright sweet baby, let's smile for Santa…." I whisper as I hold Elle tight.

I look around and I see everyone staring at me. Christian's eyes seem soft, and a lot calmer then he did a second ago. Grace is smiling and the rest of the crowd continues to watch us. Elizabeth calms enough for us to take several photos and I decide it is time for us to go.

We walk through the crowds and Sawyer assists me in gathering all of her belongings. Christian seems to be in complete agreement that it is time to leave, and I am thankful that this little event is over. It was exhausting being his date without a kid, and it has been extra draining with her here. I love my daughter, but children always add extra stress to going out.

None of us can locate Evelyn, and so I send Sawyer to find her. While we wait, I see that a rather tall, muscular man talking to Christian. After a minute, Christian waves me over.

"Joseph Reynolds, this is Anastasia Steele. This is Evelyn Adam's stepsister."

I can't help the knowing grin that sneaks through as he shakes my hand. His smile and the recognition in his eyes tells me everything I need to know. He is crazy about my sister. Joseph's eyes immediately move to Elizabeth.

"This must be the little girl Evelyn speaks so highly of," Joseph comments. His voice is deep and manly, and attractive – I see why my sister likes him.

"Yes, this is my daughter, Elizabeth," Christian tells him, pride seeping through.

"You've got a nice little family here, Grey," Joseph acknowledges, "Speaking of Evelyn…."

"Mr. Reynolds," I hear Evelyn say behind me. She walks forward and I see his eyes scan her body. Now I know why she wore that dress to this party, everything is so clear.

"Ms. Adams, it is excellent to see you," Joseph nods, "You have a wonderful family."

"I do," she says passively, "I hear from Sawyer that we are about to leave, and I think that is an excellent idea."

"Ms. Adams, if you don't mind – can we chat for a second?" Reynolds asks her.

She shakes her head adamantly, "My niece is tired and it is time for her nap. I'm sorry Mr. Reynolds, but we need to leave. Take care."

She spins around and it takes me a second before I decide to follow her. Christian quickly shakes his hand and follows our train out the door. Evelyn is walking quickly, and once she is out of earshot, Christian turns to me.

"What was that about?" he whispers.

"I'll fill you in later," he whispers back.

He nods, "Thank you for helping with pictures…. I realized that I have no idea what to do when she cries."

I look up at him and I see genuine hurt in his eyes. It's tough seeing your child cry, and he's never experienced that before. I could almost bet that he is blaming himself for her meltdown with Santa. It is clear that he hasn't spent a lot of time with her. I suddenly feel very guilty - it is my fault he feels this way. I pat his arm and I give him a reassuring smile.

"Kids cry. She may have taken a short nap, but it wasn't long enough. She was off her routine and that's what caused it. She was going to do that no matter what was going on. Don't blame yourself, "I tell him, "I am pleased that she made it that long. She was so content in your arms at the beginning of the day…. Please don't feel hurt, you're doing so well with all of this."

We catch each other's gaze and I swear I see small tears in his eyes. He quickly changes his expression and shakes his head – as if he is shaking back his feelings. We make it to the SUV and he puts her back in her car seat. She is asleep, so he doesn't have to put up much of a fight.

Before I take my seat, he grabs my hand. "No matter what goes on between us," he whispers in my ear, "I always want to be friends… at the very least. You mean so much to me, and the fact that we have a daughter together – I've never been more proud of anything in my life. I love you."

All I can do is nod and take a seat next to my sleeping daughter without bursting into tears.

**"So," Flynn says amusement in his tone, "You finished your homework rather quickly Miss Steele…."**

I snort, "Yeah I guess I did."

"So tell me…. Why'd you lie?"

I shake my head, trying to gather the right words. I've thought about this a lot since the Christmas party, and I want to make sure to say everything I need to say.

"I didn't want to be an obligation. I didn't want to tell him that I was pregnant with his kid, and for him to just show up because of that. I wanted him to do this with me because he loves me."

I can't control the tears that are about to combust. "Why would you think you're just an obligation to him?"

"Because as our relationship ended – that's what I was. I was the obligation to him while he played Dad to Milania's kid… and it killed me. Absolutely murdered me, and I couldn't stand to live through that again…."

He takes in a deep breath and sighs, "Do you think he is with you right now out of obligation?"

"I don't know," I blurt out, "I don't know…"

"Do you love him?" he asks, his voice soft.

"More than I can fucking bear…." I sob, "What am I going to do?"

I hear a smile in his voice, "Take heart my dear. You'll be ok…. As for right now: Go to sleep, get some rest, spend time with your daughter, be friendly with him but not too friendly just yet, have Gail take the baby so you can spend some time with yourself…. And I'll see you after the Christmas holidays."


	24. The New Year

**A/N – Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all of the responses from the last chapter! As always, you guys are the best! I don't own FSOG**

**I am trying out a new section separator apparatus, if it doesn't work, I apologize ahead of time. I have a few jumps in this chapter, but hopefully it will be easy to keep up with (let me know if it isn't). **

**Chapter 24 – The New Year **

**Christian**

** I stare across the room at her, and I see her lips form a straight line. **I cannot believe she is angry at me. I am just looking out for her well-being. I can't have her in a compromising situation; she is the mother of my child after all. If something happened to her, it would kill me and our daughter. Ana of course sees this as meddling. I can't have the relationship I want with her, so at the very least she should see me coming at this as the father of her child.

"So tell me why," Flynn begins, "I have you both here this morning?"

Ana huffs, "I can't talk to him anymore…. He is impossible."

"Impossible?" Flynn asks curiously.

"I'm not being impossible," I reply back to her.

"Yes you are," she hisses, "God, I don't know why we're even here. You won't listen to anybody. It's Christian Grey's way or the highway."

"Alright," Flynn silences us, "Let's start from the beginning…. I thought you two were getting along. Didn't Christmas go well?"

"Yes," she nods, "But of course…. He bought Elizabeth the most over the top gift ever."

"It is not over the top…." I mutter petulantly.

"Are you kidding?"

**-oOo-oOo-oOo-**

**"You bought her a pony?"**

I look at her with a smirk, "Yes."

"She is seven months old," she snaps at me, "She doesn't need a pony."

"She'll grow up, and want a pony…."

She gapes at me as I lead her outside to my parent's barn. Since she has the backyard for it, Mom agreed to have a fully functioning horse barn installed outside her house. I hired two Olympic caliber horse trainers, both who have been background checked and paid handsomely for their services. Jack, one of my two instructors, walks forward with Elizabeth's helmet.

"Alright baby," I tell her as he hands me the small helmet, "I've gotta get this on your head."

She wiggles and whimpers, but I eventually get the small pink helmet carefully planted on her head. Elizabeth holds on tight to Ana as we continue forward, and I know Elizabeth is a bit uncomfortable and wants that helmet off her head. Ana still doesn't look convinced that this is a good idea but she doesn't say anything. If Elizabeth doesn't like the horses, I'll get rid of them – no questions asked.

"Christian," Ana complains.

"Just let her see the horse first," I tell her as we enter the barn. We turn the corner and Elizabeth's medium sized brown pony greets us with a loud nay.

Elizabeth's eyes turn to saucers, and her mouth is wide. She points to the animal and makes an adorable happy noise. We walk forward and Ana leaves her a small kiss on the cheek.

"This is a horsey, Elle," She whispers, "Daddy bought you a horse."

"She can pet it if she likes," Jack tells me.

I nod and Ana steps forward with Elizabeth shaking in excitement. The other instructor, Leslie, steps around the corner and leads Ana towards the animal. Ana isn't a biggest fan of horses, so watching Ana grimace is slightly hysterical. She stays calm for Elizabeth's sake, and I am grateful. Elizabeth is starting to pick up on emotions of those around her, and I'd hate for Ana's fear to rub off on our daughter.

Leslie leads her small hand closer to the animal she softly touches the horse's hair. The horse makes a noise which elicits a giggle from Elizabeth. She retracts her hand and turns to Ana with glee. Ana grins and Jack turns to me.

"She can ride her if one of you would like to ride with her…."

"Are you prepared for that?" I ask him.

Jack nods, "Absolutely. Would you or Mrs. Grey like to ride with her?"

My heart stops and Ana shakes her head wildly. "It's Miss Steele," she corrects him, "And I'd rather not…. Ummm, Christian – do you want to ride with our daughter?"

I nod, grinning at Ana's response, "Absolutely."

**-oOo-oOo-oOo-**

**"And!" Ana practically yells at Flynn, "He bought her an Audi child car…. She'll be eight months old tomorrow; she's not ready to start driving…."**

"She will use all of this one day," I remind her.

She huffs, completely ignoring me, "Christmas was fine…."

"She still won't answer my question about her parents…." I tell Flynn.

She gapes at me as Flynn turns his attention to her, "What question?"

"I haven't had a conversation with my parents about Elizabeth and Christian…."

"Really," Flynn asks, "It has been how many months since you discovered Christian is the father. Why haven't you?" _Thank you Flynn_; this is exactly what I have been asking her for weeks.

"This is not why we're here," she practically yells, "We need to get to the point before I go on a murderous rampage."

Flynn and I both snort. "Well we wouldn't want that," Flynn snickers to himself, "So what's next?"

"New Year's…." Ana says softly, "Fucking New Year's…."

**-oOo-oOo-oOo-**

**"You don't have to stay here," Ana tells me, "I bet you have a party to get to." **

I pick Elizabeth up and leave small kisses across her cheeks. She giggles, and I can't help my own grin, I love this little girl. "I'd rather ring in the New Year with my girls." She looks over at me nervously, and I am suddenly regretting my plan to stay. "But I can leave if you'd like."

She looks at me, and then Elizabeth. She finally shakes her head, "That's fine…. You can stay."

I hold Elizabeth close and she immediately cuddles to my side. "God, I'd skip a million parties to spend more time with her."

Ana smiles and caresses her cheek, "I totally agree…. She's pretty great."

"It just amazes me that she is ours…" I tell her as I turn down Ryan Seacrest's loud babble, "Do you ever get worried we're going to mess her up?"

Ana snorts, "All the damn time…."

I hear a set of heels click on the stairs and both Ana and I turn to see the source of the noise. Evelyn enters the room dressed in a short black dress and incredibly high heels, and I know that Joseph Reynolds is screwed. He mentioned to me a while back that he was "seeing" Ms. Adams and I knew from the first moment he mentioned her that he was a goner. His soon to be ex-wife has put him through shit, and he needs someone sweet and snarky like Evelyn.

"Wow…." Ana breathes, "Who are you trying to impress?"

Evelyn smiles, "You know…. It's New Year's Eve…. I'm single and on the prowl." Evelyn needs to tell Ana about Joseph before I do. When I found out about their "relationship", Evelyn begged me not to say anything to Ana. At the time I agreed because Evelyn seemed to think their relationship was purely sexual, but after talking with Joseph – I know it is much more than that.

"Well," Ana says with a slightly disappointed sigh, "Have fun babe."

"Keep Sawyer close," I tell her. I know that won't be an issue, Reynolds has his own security, but just in case they get into a fight and Evelyn detaches herself from Reynolds's side.

"Thanks guys," Evelyn says happily as she leaves Elizabeth a kiss, "Are you going to stay the evening Christian? I want to make sure my girls are well taken care of…"

I nod, "I'm staying until Ana kicks me out."

Her smile widens, "Good…. Don't drink too much, kids. At least drink when the baby goes to bed." Evelyn kisses Ana and quickly shuffles out. As she walks I realize how short that skirt really is, Joseph Reynolds is toast.

"**I cannot believe you didn't tell me," Ana snaps. **She gives me a small punch and I can't help but laugh. Elizabeth went down hours ago and Ana and I have spent the evening drinking and talking. Seacrest hums in the background and I notice we only have an hour until the start of the New Year. The East and Central coasts have already celebrated, and it will soon be our turn.

"It was Evelyn's secret to tell," I admit, "And I thought she'd tell you eventually…"

"I wonder why she didn't…." Ana murmurs to herself.

"Well in the beginning, it was just sex…." I tell her honestly, "I know from Reynold's side, she was a hot distraction from his separation….. Baby, you've drank away too much tonight."

She shakes her head, "I have extra bottles and I can always go to formula… I'll pump and dump." I don't like the idea, but I say nothing. "I'm so glad my sister was used for sex by her boss…." She says sardonically.

"From what I hear it was a mutual decision," I tell her, "And I think that's why she didn't want to tell you. It wasn't serious…. Until recently."

"Yeah…. What's the deal with his wife?" she asks.

"She asked for the separation, and then when he found Evelyn…. She's been coming around a lot more. She isn't over him at all…"

Ana's mouth gapes open, "So do you think he'll go back to her…. That would crush Evelyn."

I shake my head, "I think he is finally seeing that Eryn that was a complete soul sucker, and he has finally admitted to himself that he loves Evelyn. Evelyn sees through his crap and doesn't want him for anything but him…."

She gazes at me, and I see something there, a recognition that I am not just talking about Evelyn, but her as well. She moves in close to me and curls her arm around my bicep. I lean in closer, wanting to confirm my suspicion.

"A while back, I had somebody like that," I whisper, "She broke me down…. Showed me my crap, and when I was too stupid to see it for myself – she left me. I've regretted letting her walk out every day since."

She takes in a sharp breath and fidgets nervously. "If I remember correctly…. You gave her a pretty easy out."

"You really think that out was easy?" I snort, "That out was one of the hardest things I have ever done…. But I couldn't let you continue to be miserable."

She gulps. "I've missed us so much," she whispers.

I lean forward, quietly asking permission to kiss her. She brings her lips to mine and crashes body against me. Fuck, I forgot what this felt like. To kiss her, to hold her, to feel her body press up against mine – it's hypnotic. She pushes me forward, straddling me on the couch. We're all lips and tongues, and hands. Her hands are in my hair, pulling at the follicles as we ravage each other's mouths. I'm as hard as a rock and when she starts dry humping me through my jeans, I'm afraid I'll come from the contact alone. It's been way too long, and being around her every day without being able to touch her is torture.

"Oh my God," I hear from behind us.

Ana jumps off me, and I look up to see Evelyn and Joseph standing in the foyer. Evelyn and Reynolds both have looks of horrified amusement plastered across their faces. Ana and I both quickly adjust our clothes as Evelyn steps forward and snickers.

"Ummmm, sorry to interrupt."

"It's fine," Ana says nervously, "What are you doing back so soon?"

"Well," Evelyn nods, grabbing Joseph's hand, "I hoped you might still be up because I wanted to introduce you to Joseph."

"Finally," Ana gasps, "Nice to meet you Joseph…."

"What do you mean finally?" Evelyn asks as she turns to me, "Did you tell her?"

"He didn't tell me," Ana snaps at her, "I found out about him in the bathroom at the Christmas party…."

I see her quickly understand what Ana is speaking about within seconds. "You heard all of that?"

"In the bathroom?" Joseph murmurs in confusion.

"Yeah, thanks for telling me about this," Ana huffs, "It was nice to meet you Joseph, but it is obvious I need to go to bed…"

"Ana wait," I plead with her. She continues walking and stomps up the stairs. I hear a slam of her bedroom door, and re-take my seat.

"What were you thinking?" Evelyn asks, accusation clearly evident in her tone.

"Babe, it was obvious what he was thinking about," Joseph jokes.

"You don't say a word, or we aren't going back to your hotel room," Evelyn fires back. Reynolds only grins and stays quiet.

"I've missed her…." I tell her honestly, "I can't help it. She's my kryptonite…."

"You can't hump her in the middle of the living room nearly three months after her husband dies," Evelyn chastises me, "Even if she is the mother of your kid."

I'm horny after what happened on the couch with Ana and now I'm pissed off. I've had enough. "Alright, I'm leaving," I tell her as I stand to leave, "Happy New Year."

Evelyn pats my back and she suddenly looks sympathetic. "Give her time Christian…. She loves you, she'll be back."

**-oOo-oOo-oOo-**

** "I have since apologized to her for that," I tell Flynn. **

Ana looks at me sternly, but doesn't say another word. Flynn takes in a deep breath, his eyes wide with astonishment. "Well… there is so much in that little ditty, but we can talk all about that later. We need to get to why you're so mad at Christian," he says to Ana.

"Yes," I tell her, "I'd like to understand this too…."

"God, you're so dense," Ana huffs angrily. She shakes her head and begins talking.

**-oOo-oOo-oOo-**

**Ana**

** I hang up the phone with Gail and feel absolutely relieved that Elizabeth is ok. **I am proud of myself; I have only called Gail twice today. When I first started back to work, I called Gail at least five times a day to check up on Elizabeth. Yes, that may be excessive, but I have never left her alone with anyone before. I hate going back to work, but I love my job. I want Elizabeth to be inspired to be the same way – I want her to see Mommy and Daddy both working towards their dreams. I want her to look up to me as someone who was able to do it all. But damn it, I miss my baby girl.

My phone rings and I am instantly terrified that it's Gail. Elizabeth could have choked on something while Gail was on the phone with me, _you never know_. I pick up my phone quickly.

"Anastasia Steele."

"Steele?" Evelyn's cheery voice questions, "Wow…. So you changed your name back." I changed my name back week, but I don't want to hear it from her. She is already on my shit list for not telling me about Reynolds.

"What do you want?"

She sighs, "I hate that you're mad at me. I want to make this up to you. Joseph and I are serious now and I want you to really get to know him."

"Is he getting a divorce?" He needs to actually pull the plug if he is being truly serious about his intentions with my sister.

"Yes, he filed last week," she tells me, "I'm in love with him."

"Have you told our parents that you're dating a man who is in the middle of a divorce and ten years older than you…?"

"Have you told our parents that Christian is the father of your kid…?" she fires back.

"Yes. By email…."

"Jesus Ana," Evelyn huffs, "Pull up your big girl panties and talk to them."

"Hey Pot…. I don't know if you've met me, but my name is Kettle."

She snorts, "Fine, we'll just tell them at once…. I am sure they have enough medical insurance to cover two coronaries."

"Why did you call?" I ask her. We have a way of always moving the conversation off topic.

"Right of course….," Evelyn begins, "Well, I want you to meet him, but I don't have as much time with him as I'd like and so I thought it might be fun to do a double date."

"A double date?" I gape, "I was married three months ago…. I'm not going on some damn double date with Christian."

"It doesn't need to be Christian…." She offers, "Actually, Joseph is related your co-worker…. What's his name…. Chris Fowell?"

I know my jaw is on the floor. "Chris Powell?"

"Joseph and Chris are cousins. You're friends with him right?" Evelyn asks, "And if I remember…. He is quite attractive."

"I don't know…." I tell her, "I don't know if this is such a good idea."

"Talk to him," she replies back, "See how he feels about this…. I promise we'll have fun. We'll keep it causal."

"Fine…. Whatever."

**An hour later, I finally work up the courage to enter Chris's office. **He is on the phone when I enter but beckons me to come inside anyway. He smiles brightly when I enter and I sit in the chair directly in front of his desk. He continues on with his phone conversation, looking at me on occasion as he talks.

"Alright man, talk to you later," he finishes as he hangs up.

"Hey, I didn't mean to bother you…"

"You aren't a bother," Chris tells me, "I told you, once you got back from leave that I would be willing to help you with anything you needed…"

"Chris," I plead with him, "Drop the act."

He snorts, "Ah… I'm assuming your sister called you."

"Your cousin is Joseph Reynolds?"

"Your step sister is dating my cousin?" he asks, mimicking my tone.

I laugh, "It's weird…. He is going through a divorce and he's so much older then she is."

He shakes his head, "Well, I'm glad and I know his family is too…. His ex-wife is quite possibly the worst human being I have ever met. He is blissfully happy with Evelyn. I think it could work out so well…."

"I hope so," I tell him, "So…. we're being set up on a date?"

"Listen," he begins, "I know you've been through a lot, and I don't want to make you feel like you have to do this. I used to be your boss, and I know that might be awkward."

"What do you want to do?" I ask him, "Do you really want to spend your Saturday night with me?"

"I'd love to spend my evening with you…." He says honestly, "Who wouldn't want to spend their evening with a beautiful woman?"

Did he just call me beautiful? "Can we please just do this relaxed? No pressure…. Just fun. I haven't had a night away from the baby in a while."

"Yeah," Chris nods, "Relaxed, fun…. Time to get you into the real world Steele."

"Ok," I concede, "Just a fun night…. No pressure."

"No pressure…." Chris tells me with a reassuring smile.

**-oOo-oOo-oOo-**

**Christian**

** "Now I see the problem," Flynn begins, looking between Ana and myself, "Ana, could you be a dear and wait in the waiting room for me?"**

I look upon Flynn with surprise, as does Ana. "What?" she asks, her voice practically a whisper.

"It's the end of our session, and I see what the problem is. It will be fixed with a small talk to Christian, now Ana…. Please…. We'll meet at our regular time this week. We obviously have a lot more to talk though."

I know what this means. Flynn is about to royally chew me out. I don't fucking care, this matter means that much to me. He can bring it all he wants. Ana nods and quickly exits the room.

"You have to let her go on this date…." Flynn says as soon as the door is closed.

"What?" I gasp.

"You need to give her this experience…."

"It's not experience," I hiss at him, "Powell has wanted in her panties from the moment he met her. He is going to make a move on her…"

"So what if he does….. you did?"

"She wanted it too," I tell him, "She is just denying herself what she really wants – me."

"Oh please, Christian," Flynn mocks, "I cannot believe you would be this pompous. Let the girl have an experience. Her husband died three months ago, and you're acting like this gives you fair game."

"That's not what I meant…."

"I know you love her Christian," he whispers, placing a hand over my clutched hands, "But if you love her…. You have to let her come back to you on her own. Meaning, she is going to need to date before she eventually gets there…"

I take in a sharp breath, "I don't like it."

"I know you don't…. but it doesn't matter what you want or what you need…. Elizabeth and Ana needs come first."

"So what am I supposed to do as the love of my life slips through my fingers….?"

Flynn scoffs, "You'll never stop with the over dramatics, will you? It's a date…. Not another marriage."

I stand up, reluctantly shake his hand, and move immediately out of Flynn's office. I'm going to have to let this happen, and I hate that I can't do anything about it…. or can't I? An idea flashes through my brain, and I suddenly feel a sense of relief. If she wants to date, then she can date but on my terms. I grab Ana's hand and I quietly lead her to the SUV. If she ever asks, I can tell her I am practicing for when Elizabeth begins to date. Oh yes, this is the perfect plan.


	25. The Master Plan

**Chapter 25 – The Master Plan **

**Christian **

** I sent Ana an email earlier, and I decided to come by and… gauge… her reaction. **My email isn't a rule book for her date tomorrow night, more like a list of suggestions that would make the security detail's job a lot easier. From now on, she will be taking security whenever she is alone or with the baby. I haven't instituted this change yet and I know I'm going to get a lot of shit for it.

While I wait for Ana to read her emails, I am able to sit in the kitchen and watch my baby eat. She coos and giggles happily while Gail feeds her cheerios. I only get to see her for a second, sometimes not even at all, when Ana drops her off at Escala in the mornings and I am privileged to spend this time with her. I love being able to see her eat her breakfast, she always seems to be so playful in the mornings. Obviously, my daughter is a morning person – something she inherited from me and not her mother. After Ana and I finish up this morning, Ryan, Gail, and Elizabeth will all go to my apartment for the rest of the day.

"You have got to be kidding me?!" I hear Ana scream from upstairs.

"Right on cue," I happily beam to my daughter, "If Mommy seems too angry, don't hold it against her."

Ana stomps down the stairs, her hair and makeup already done for work, but wearing shorts and a T-Shirt. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

"The baby can hear you…." I remind her.

She huffs and her nose scrunches adorably. "Then let's go talk upstairs."

I lean over to kiss Elizabeth on the cheek and I follow Ana to a vacant guest bedroom. She pulls out her Ipad and opens my emails. She shakes her head and stomps her foot.

"She will take her security wherever she goes…." Ana begins, "What damn security?"

"You will take Sawyer wherever you go from now on."

"What?" she practically screams, "Are you insane?"

"You are the mother of my child," I tell her calmly, "You're not only a target because of your connection to me, but if anything ever happened to you – it affects the wellbeing of my daughter. I can't have that. I am foolish not to have brought this to your attention earlier."

She huffs, "I guess that makes sense, and we'll talk about that more later, but I need to talk about your list of 'suggestions'."

"Go for it…."

"I suggest that you not wear a black or red dress that goes above your knees," she reads, "I suggest you stay with Evelyn at all times, keeping up with a group atmosphere…. What kind of bullshit? This has to be some kind of joke."

"These are only suggestions…."

"I think what baffles me the most is that you picked specific colors for me not to wear," she scoffs.

"Have you seen yourself in a red or black dress…?" I remind her. The picture of Ana in a short red dress invades my brain and I have to quickly fight off my arousal.

"Christian," she huffs, "This is just a date…."

"These details are for your safety…."

"Are you telling yourself that so you can sleep at night?" she hisses, "Christian…. This is just a date. Hell, it's a group date at best. Sixteen year olds go on group dates all the time…."

"Do you really want to discuss with me what sixteen year olds do on dates?"

She moans, "I can deal with the security…. I'll think about this other bullshit."

"That's all I ask," I tell her, "You know…. I'll have another list of rules for when Elizabeth begins dating."

She snorts, effectively lightening the mood, "Yeah…. Let's see how well that will fly."

"If she is anything like you…. I'll have my work cut out for me."

She snickers and hits me with a pillow. "Get out…. I have to get ready for work, and if you stay in here any longer…. I'm going to thrash you."

I walk to the door, but Ana suddenly stops me. "Wait…. So tonight, I am going to be gone, and I have already asked Gail to watch her here. I didn't want to place an expectation on you to watch her while I am out…."

So if he wants to come home with her, our daughter will be here to prevent that. I like this plan. There is still a possibility she could go home with him. _Shit. _If I come here, and he picks her up here – I can scare the bastard away. Perfect. A smile crosses my face, and I suddenly feel in complete control.

"I'll be here Anastasia…. I'll be here."

**I wasn't able to focus at all today. **As soon as I got word from Ryan that he, Gail, and Elizabeth were headed back to Ana's home, I followed them immediately. Ana should get off work in another hour, and I'll be waiting when she arrives. On my way, I get a phone call from Flynn.

"What are you doing?" he immediately questions.

"Taylor is driving me to see my daughter…. What are you doing?" I ask him back.

Flynn snorts, "Christian…. Ana has told me about your rules for your date."

"She called you?"

"Christian," he admonishes me, "You can't control her like this…."

"I am just putting in basic security measures for tonight," I tell him sternly, "You can't argue safety with me Flynn…"

"This isn't about safety, Grey and you know it."

That's it - I am done with people telling me what to fucking do. Anastasia is the love of my fucking life, and even if she hasn't accepted that – it doesn't matter. I am going to do whatever it takes to keep my family intact.

Ana is my family, my love, my life. She may be down right now, and trying to figure shit out, but at the end of the day – she belongs to me. I take care of what belongs to me. I am not going to rest until I know she is safe. She is mine, and once she figures out that she is mine – it will make all of this a lot easier for everybody. I don't care if Flynn doesn't see it, I don't care if anyone doesn't see it – I am going to make this happen no matter what I have to do it. Fuck Flynn.

"Oh, sorry, I have to go," I tell Flynn with renewed determination. I hang up the phone and turn to Taylor. "Drive fucking faster."

**Once I get home, Elizabeth is already on the floor and crawling around. **I kneel in front of her and she smiles and begins climbing up my legs. She pulls herself up and I give her small kisses on her cheeks.

"Hello, Mr. Grey," Gail says as she sees me, "By my estimation, you seem to be here right on time." She gives me a mischievous smile and shakes her head, "Would you like me to begin dinner?"

"If you don't mind," I tell her, "Shouldn't Anastasia be home by now…?"

She shakes her head, "Ms. Adams and Ms. Steele are making a few stops before they head home…"

I nod as I pick Elizabeth up and set her in my lap. "Thank you…"

**I decide to change before Ana arrives. **I brought over a pair of jeans, a pair that Ana has said looks "hot" on me, and a black V-Neck T-shirt. I decide to get some work done in the living room while I wait for Gail to finish dinner. Elizabeth crawls across the couch, adorably crumpling Daddy's papers in the process. When I am not paying enough attention to her, she mumbles something at me, seeming to mean, "Hey Dad, pay attention".

She is getting really good at making her adorable garbling sound like words. She can say Ma, and she can say Ga (for Gail), but I am patiently waiting for her to say Da. Since I don't see her as often as Ana or even Gail, I am going to assume that "Da" will come much later. My worst fear is that if I show her a picture of Sloane, she will immediately refer to him as "Da."

Noise comes from the front door and Elizabeth immediately stops her commotion to see what is happening.

"I think Mommy is home," I tell her.

"Ma," she garbles happily, "Ma."

"Can you say Da," I tell her, pointing at myself, "Da." Elizabeth cocks her head at me, and all I get are crickets.

The door opens and Evelyn and Anastasia both step through. Ana looks upon me with surprise and Evelyn just smiles. They walk forward and Elizabeth says "Ma" one more time.

"Hey baby girl," Ana coos, "Are you helping Daddy run his empire?"

I snort, "One day, she'll be running my empire all by herself."

"Well how very equal opportunity of you," she says as Evelyn grabs her bags.

"I'll meet you upstairs, Sis," Evelyn says as she walks past us, smile still plastered on her face.

"You'll be happy to know that I have not violated dress code for this evening," Ana tells me sarcastically, "I know this wasn't on the list, but I promise not to wear w-h-o-r-e make up either."

I smirk, "I know you wouldn't, that's why it isn't on there."

"Good," she huffs adorably, "Now it's time for me to go change…. I'll see you both later."

I watch her walk off, staring at her ass as she heads up the stairs. Dear God, she is beautiful. If he touches her – I'll kill him.

**Since the girls will be going to dinner with their dates, it is just Gail, Elizabeth, Taylor and me for dinner. **I usually don't eat with Gail or Taylor, but I need help feeding Elizabeth and Taylor comes in a packaged deal with Gail. We've had some difficulties, but Elizabeth and I have worked out an excellent system of eating since her temper tantrum, and now everybody is happily eating.

I hear the girls getting ready from the dining room. The house is filled with talking, giggling, music playing loudly, and hair dryers piercing the through the silence. Ana has come out every so often, mostly just to check on Elizabeth, and every time Ana has looked breathtaking. I assume she will wear her long chestnut brown hair down tonight for her date, and her make up seems to be more natural than not. She looks stunning.

After dinner, I move back to the living room to work with Elizabeth. Elizabeth seems to be getting sleepy so I know bedtime is our next option. The doorbell rings, and I see Gail jump to go get it. The door opens and the foyer suddenly fills with male noise.

"Grey," Reynolds booms as he saunters to me, "I didn't know you'd be at Ana's."

I stand up with Elizabeth in my arms and nod my head, "My daughter is here so I am here."

"She is a cutie," Reynolds tells me as Elizabeth sleepily curls up to my side, "She looks like her Mom."

"Good for her," I joke back.

I suddenly see a blur of red cross the room and jump on Reynolds. Evelyn wraps her legs around Joe's waist and he grabs her ass as they disgustingly kiss. In that moment, I see Parrish in the background. He watches them molest each other and then turns his expression to me.

"Parrish," I nod at him.

"Grey," he nods back.

"Evelyn," I call at her, "Your baby niece is watching you molest your boyfriend…. Please stop."

Evelyn pushes at Joseph and he immediately drops her. She walks over to me and shrugs and smirk.

"I can't help it, I can't keep my hands off my man," Evelyn jokes as she grabs Reynolds's ass. He nibbles her ear, and I think I'm going to be sick.

I look over at Chris and his jaw is on the floor. His eyes are practically out of his sockets and Joe's eyes quickly follow suit. Evelyn smirks and claps to herself happily. I turn around and my jaw instantly drops. Ana is standing at the top of the stairs, looking too insanely sexy to be allowed out in public.

As I predicted, she went natural with her hair and makeup. She definitely followed my color rule – he dress is tan and white. The skirt is beige and crème striped, lying just above her knee. Her top is low cut, and full of white lace. All I can see is lace and breasts.

She saunters down the stairs and smiles as she looks across each of our expressions. "How do I look?" she asks, lightly biting her lip. Fuck me, I want her.

"You look incredible," Parrish says, beating me to the punch.

"Yeah, baby, you look great…" I mutter out.

Parrish turns to give me eye daggers, and I would thrash him if I didn't have my daughter at my side. Ana walks forward and leans over to kiss Elizabeth. I can see down her top and I notice she doesn't have a bra. Holy fuck me.

"Be good for Daddy, baby. Mommy is going to miss you," she says as Elizabeth moves her small arms for her.

"No baby, Mommy is leaving, you can't go with her," I tell her as Elizabeth whimpers, "You guys may want to get going so she doesn't get confused…"

Regret and Sadness immediately fills Ana's expression as she gazes at our daughter. I quickly feel guilty for being so rude and heartless about this date tonight. She hasn't had a night without the baby in a while.

"Come on Ana," Evelyn nudges her along, "Elizabeth is with Daddy…. She is in good hands."

I give Ana a reassuring nod, and she turns to follow the other three out the door. Parrish has the good manners to not hold her hand until they exit her house. I fucking hate that bastard.

I begin to roam the room, holding on to my tearful daughter. I rock her back and forth, hoping it will soothe her. She always cries when Ana leaves and I hate it.

"It's ok baby," I whisper in her ear, "You'll be ok."

Gail walks over and looks upon me with sympathy, "Let me hold her…. Taylor will make you a drink."

"I'm fine, Gail."

She shakes her head, "A man who makes a list of rules for a grown woman's date is not fine…."

"You may be right, but at least let me hold her," I tell her as she steps back. I walk her around the room, rocking her back and forth as she eventually calms down. It suddenly occurs to me. "This was the first time I've calmed her down from crying on my own…."

Gail nods, "Yes…. Well done Mr. Grey."

"Thank you," I say as we sit down, "Now where's my drink, Taylor?"

**Ten minutes later, I have already sucked down two drinks. **Gail is rocking the baby to sleep and Taylor, who stopped at one, is watching me wearily. The alcohol is starting to get to me, and I try to stand.

"Sit down, Grey," Taylor huffs.

"I need to go get her," I tell him, "She is the love of my life. I am not going to let her run off with somebody else….. again."

"Alright…. Baby girl needs to go to bed."

"All the women in my life are leaving me….." I groan as Gail laughs. I leave Elizabeth a small kiss on her temple. She reaches her hand towards me and I grab and kiss it.

"Da."

I freeze and Gail grins big. "Did she just say…."

"Da Da…" she repeats as I kiss her hand again.

"Good girl," Gail coos. I kiss her again, and Gail brings her upstairs.

"I still remember when Sophie said Da Da for the first time," Taylor reminisces.

I barely hear him because I am still in shock. I can't believe it. Elizabeth finally called me Da Da, and it may be the alcohol, but I finally see everything so clearly. I don't know how Ana can't see this. We're a family, and no one is going to break me from my family.

"You good enough to drive?" I ask Taylor.

He nods, "Yeah…. I only had one drink."

"Good…" I tell him, "Let's go bring Ana back…."

**Ana**

** This night have been… long. **The restaurant is nice but really stuffy and stiff. I see a lot of people dining tonight who are ten to twenty years older than me. The food is decent, and I have no room to complain. At the very least, it has been nice to dress up and spend an evening away from the house. I have had two small panic attacks about leaving Elizabeth, but Evelyn has quickly calmed me down.

Within the first ten minutes, I figured out that Chris and I have absolutely zero chemistry. He's attractive and definitely easy on the eyes, but he seems more like a brother then anything. What was I expecting? I spent a year working for him and never felt the need to act on anything. I hope Chris feels the same way, I'd hate for this to be one sided.

We both have been subjected to a night of Joseph and Evelyn groping each other. I've come to approve of my sister's boyfriend because it is obvious that he is crazy about her, but the inappropriate touching in public is a little much. It's almost pornographic how they've been touching and … licking each other. I am pretty sure she bit him when our salads arrived. Chris and I have played several rounds of tic tac toe and hangman as a defense mechanism against Mr. and Mrs. Inappropriate…. classy – I know.

I look up from their disgusting displays of affection and see a woman approach. Joseph tenses up when she catches his eye and Evelyn detaches herself from him to see why he is so tense. When she eyes the tall, 30- something Brunette, she scowls. I look over at Chris and he shakes his head.

"Good to see you Joseph," the woman hisses, "There have been a few complaints over you and your child's public displays of affection."

Evelyn flinches, but Joseph holds on to her tight. "I won't apologize for that…." He scoffs, "Eryn, you've met my girlfriend Evelyn…. This is her sister, Anastasia and her date Chris. This is my ex-wife, Eryn."

_The ex-wife, oh hell no._ "We are not divorced yet Joseph," Eryn hisses at him, "So I'd appreciate you didn't flash your little pet out in public…."

"Look lady," Evelyn begins, "You may go to Pilates, but I take kickboxing and I can kick your ass…."

"Classy," she huffs.

"Eryn," Joseph snaps, "Get the hell away from my table…. Now."

Sawyer moves forward and hovers over Eryn and I am suddenly very glad to have him here. She eyes Sawyer and takes a step back. She scowls and keeps on walking.

"I hate her," Evelyn mutters into Joe's cheek.

"She is a bully Evelyn," Chris tells her, "Don't worry about that bitch."

I feel his presence before I see him. This is perfect timing for Christian to show up and add to the festivities. He moves around us and stands next to me. "I need to talk to you…" Christian requests in my ear, "Now."

"I'm not done with my dinner, Christian," I tell him firmly.

"No, Ana, now," he barks. This date isn't what I expected it to be, but that doesn't mean I want to leave with him right now because he wants me to. He better not get all "caveman" on me.

"Quit acting like that," I mutter, "I am not just going to leave because you tell me to."

"Grey, I can bring her back after dinner," Chris tells him.

Christian laughs. "Yeah, I'm sure you'll bring her back after dinner," Christian grumbles to himself, "No, I need you now…."

"Stop it," I plead with him.

"Grey… If you don't trust Parrish, I'll bring her back myself," Joseph offers, trying to stay calm with his friend.

"I will throw you over my shoulder," Christian warns, ignoring Joseph.

"You're being a Neanderthal," I hiss at him.

"5…." He begins counting, "4…. 3….."

"Fine," I snap at him, "God, what the hell is wrong with you." I get up and say a quick goodbye to the table. Evelyn looks up at me anxiously, but I am too angry to even respond to her.

He practically pulls me out of the restaurant with minimal damage and I ponder all the ways I can murder Christian Grey and make it look like an accident. My fury builds as we move, and I don't know what to do anymore. He will stop at nothing to ruin whatever of my plans doesn't work for him – this isn't fair, he is being a douchebag. I follow him into the SUV, slide in, and move to the opposite side of the car.

We sit in silence, and I have no idea where we're going or what to even say. I am beyond embarrassed and agitated with the man sitting next to me.

"You love me…." He hisses.

"No… I don't."

"You want me," he continues.

"No… I don't," I say again, getting louder.

"Keep driving, Taylor. We aren't stopping this car until she admits that she still loves me…."

Has he lost his fucking mind? "How can someone be so pompous and so arrogant and fucking pig headed?"

"Because I know you love me…." He continues, still ignoring my name calling.

"I don't love you, Christian – get that through your dense skull," I yell at him.

"Then how come I feel like this?" he spits out, "How come you're the only woman who has made me feel this content, but still blazing with need. You make me crazy, but you keep me calm. You've loved me despite my shit before… and when you walked away - you really never left me. You've been there, I can't get over you…. I've tried, it's damn near impossible."

I am starting to feel tears, and I brush them off. I refuse to let him see me cry. "I don't know," I whisper.

"My life begins and ends with you…." He continues, "I could barely survive without you and I don't want to continue to live like this….. I can't continue to live like this."

"I don't belong to you," I hiss, trying to keep my emotions together.

"Loving me doesn't diminish him in anyway," he whispers, grabbing on to my hand, "I know you're thinking that…. That being in love with me means that you're betraying him."

I feel a sob escape my throat and he holds me close.

"I am desperately, irrevocably, till the end of time in love with you, and I know you have to feel the same way too…." He continues, "I'll never feel the same way about anyone else. I'm done. You're it. I don't want anybody else."

In that moment, I feel everything I have ever felt for him rush through me. I've been keeping myself at a distance, allowing myself space from him. I needed space from him. It's proving to be impossible. I can't keep holding back like this, space be damned. I suddenly jump, wrapping my arms around him and plastering his mouth to mine. Much like New Year's Eve, I want this but I don't plan on stopping us this time. I need this. I need him.

"Escala," he murmurs to Taylor, "Escala now…."

**I kept my hands at bay on the car ride. **Unlike my sister, groping in front of anyone makes me self-conscious. Christian pulls me quickly through the parking garage. When we hit the elevator, all bets are off.

I practically tear the shirt off his back and feel at the waist of his jeans. "I love the way these jeans hang off your hips," I groan into his mouth as he kisses me.

"I know," he snickers, "That's why I wore them…. Still didn't stop you from going on that date."

I place his face in my hands. "Chris Parrish is like the brother I never had."

"Seriously, why didn't you tell me that….?"

I giggle and kiss him again. "I may have been mad earlier," I say, moving the straps of my dress down, slowly exposing my breasts, "But it was kind of hot seeing you stomp in there like that…"

He licks the swells of my breasts and slips a finger down my panties. "You sure didn't sound happy."

I grin, "I'm moody and fucked up…. Take me upstairs now."

**By the time we're in the great room, I am only wearing my heels and panties and his shirt is off and jeans are around his waist. **He moves me to the first couch and removes his jeans. I remove my panties as he goes in search of a condom. He quickly sheathes up when he finds one and moves to hover over me.

I feel a flood of emotion threaten to hit. So much has been parading through my head these last couple of months, and I don't want those damn feelings to stop me. My head is still a jumbled mess, but I know one thing – I want him. He's right, I love him, and I have done everything in my power to avoid those tough fucking feelings for him. We both still have a lot to sort through, but I need to know one thing before we do this.

"Are we together?" I ask, "I know you gave me that confession of love in the car…. But I need to hear it now. Are you mine?"

He nods, "Without a doubt. What about you?"

I take in a deep breath, "I have a lot of shit to sort through, Christian. I've avoided this for so long because I thought I was too fucked up…."

He kisses me, and when we pull away – I am panting. "Let me be there for you. Let me hold your hand through this. I love you. Let me back in."

I sob, "…. Ok."

I slide my hands in his hair and he slowly sinks into me. A sob releases from my throat as I accompany the delicious intrusion, and I clench around him. He groans and I put my lips to his, melting as we move. I lose myself in him and everything we are in this moment.

**Christian**

**I turn over and see the most heavenly sight at my side. **Ana is asleep next to me, her hair spread everywhere across my pillow, and she is completely naked underneath the sheet that envelops her. I scoot closer to her and wrap my arms firmly around her center. She squirms and I hear her lightly giggle.

"Hi," she whispers.

"Good Morning, Miss Steele."

She turns over and I see those beautiful blue eyes melt. I lean in and nibble on her ear, tugging and biting her playfully. "You are playful this morning," she says with a grin.

"Well… the woman I am madly in love with declared her love to me last night….," I joke with her, "I can't help it."

"After made a list of ridiculous rules for me and pulled me out of that restaurant like a Neanderthal …."

"I can't help it," I tell her, "I can't fight fair when it comes to you."

She snickers, "Whatever. Don't pull that shit again Christian, I mean it."

"I won't," I say, putting my hand to my heart.

"But really Christian…." She tells me, "Just because we're together doesn't mean we still don't have stuff to sort through. This isn't over. The two of us have so much baggage."

"I know," I tell her honestly, "But that doesn't mean you can't be mine while we figure this out…"

I lean over to kiss her as my cell phone rings. I reluctantly find my way out of bed. I throw on my boxers and take the call outside. When I see that Evelyn is calling, I know I am going to have to own up to my behavior last night. I don't care, I regret nothing.

"Hello," I grumble.

Surprisingly, Evelyn begins laughing. "Is she with you?"

"Yes…." I tell her.

"Oh my gosh," she laughs, "I can't believe it worked…."

"What?" I ask, completely confused. What the hell is she talking about?

"Do you think I need a REASON to spend time with my man," Evelyn snickers, "With his crazy ex-wife following Joseph everywhere, I would have preferred some one on one time at home.."

"I'm confused…." I tell her, "What are you talking about?

"You are so predictable, Christian…." She laughs at me, "I knew you would end up showing up at some point last night in a jealous rage. Ana would either be so mad that she never spoke to you again…. Or, she would have completely broken through…. So what happened?"

I can't believe this. She did something so sneaky and manipulative, and…. It worked. Ana almost took the turn down Anger Street, and I nearly pushed her into a blind rage. Except, she didn't turn to anger – she turned the opposite direction.

"I can't believe that worked…"

Evelyn begins giggling uncontrollably. "It worked?" she giggles, "I'm so glad it fucking worked."

"I am too…." I tell her, "You're an evil genius."

"This was all part of my master plan," she pronounces, haughtily, "Now don't ruin it or I'll kick your ass."

**A/N – I don't own FSOG. Thank you for reading and let me know what you think! Sorry for no Lemon warning, I didn't want it to ruin anything for you!**

**I apologize for the shitty editing job – it's late and I know something will slip through. **


	26. The Sunday After

**A/N – Lemon Alert :) Again, I am not the best lemon writing expert so please be nice! Lol. Also, there is a small flashback – it is italicized. **

**Chapter 26 – The Sunday After**

**Ana**

** I lean on the counter in my kitchen, sipping my tea and breathing in the morning.** Elizabeth is seated in her high chair, eating her breakfast and babbling adorably to herself. Evelyn is still sleeping, choosing to stay home instead of sleeping over at Reynolds's. Besides Elizabeth, my home is calm and quiet and I love it.

"Ma…ma…. Ma… ma...," Elizabeth babbles at me.

I snicker at my baby. Recently, whenever Elizabeth isn't getting enough attention, she demands it from whoever is in the room. It's adorable, and it is so Christian. I leave her a small kiss on her precious baby cheek and inhale her beautiful baby scent. I place a few pieces of strawberries on her plate and make myself another cup of tea.

"Good morning sister friend," I hear Evelyn's groggy voice from the staircase.

"Hey Ev… good to see you," I joke with her, "With the exception of Friday night…. You've spent a lot more time with your boyfriend lately. I never see you anymore."

She smiles, "I know." I snort and she shakes her head. "But I have a feeling I won't be seeing much of you either."

I fake shock. "Whatever could you mean?" She laughs and suddenly, I hear the water switch on upstairs.

"Bringing Christian back to the house…. That's a novel idea," Evelyn snorts as she makes herself a cup of coffee.

"He is using your bathroom by the way," I tell her as I clean my mug.

"Why?" she asks. Then she nods, understanding why. "You guys slept…. Or didn't sleep in the guest room?"

"I'm surprised you didn't hear us," I retort.

"I may have gotten home three hours ago," she snickers as the doorbell rings. "I'll get it," she hollers as I begin cleaning my kitchen.

"Ma…ma…ma…." Elizabeth babbles as I pick her up. I clean a little more with her in my arms as I hear a voice I know all too well in my foyer.

"Where is my daughter?" My mom hisses, "Don't you leave Evelyn…. You're in trouble too."

Shit, shit, shit, shit. It's my Mom. Carla Adams walks into my kitchen, and my jaw drops when I see fury radiating from her features. I haven't talked to her at all, except through text message, since I found out about Elizabeth's true paternity. Carla on the other hand has called me, a lot. I haven't really returned her phone calls. Feel free to hand me the "Worst Daughter of the year" award, I deserve it.

"Hey Mom…."

"Are you kidding me Anastasia?" she snaps, "Don't hey Mom me…. Sit your ass in a chair…. We have a lot of talking to do."

I take a seat in the living room with the baby in my arms. I am really hoping Elizabeth can get me out of this argument, but unfortunately for me – she's not crying or squirming. She is happily seated in my laugh, not saying a peep. _Damn it Elizabeth, can't you cry just a little so I can get away from grandma. _Evelyn takes a seat across from me and looks longingly at Elizabeth, and I know she is thinking the exact same thing.

"Somebody please tell me what the hell has been going on around here….?" Mom begins.

I take in a deep breath and prepare myself. There is no use in holding back any longer; I have done that enough with her. Lately, I've talked to Flynn a lot about being honest, even when it hurts. Fuck, I should have just called my Mom back.

"Mom, has it ever occurred to you that I just don't want to talk about any of this," I tell her truthfully, "This hasn't been easy…. I went from having a baby to losing my husband to discovering my baby's father is my ex-boyfriend. I'm sorry that I haven't been in constant contact – I've just had a lot on my plate."

Her expression softens. "I'm sorry you've had to go through this, but that's why I am so upset – I wanted to be here, and I wanted to be here for you. I am your mother Anastasia; you shouldn't have to do this alone."

I snort, feeling the need to be very honest with her. "You would have made me feel like shit."

She gasps, "Anastasia…."

"You hate Christian…. You've always hated Christian."

She holds back a sob, "I would never make you feel like that…. He isn't my favorite person, but…."

"I'm sorry," I tell her, "I just…. that's why I didn't run to you after all of that. I knew you hated Christian, and I needed to really deal with him before I talked about it. I'm really sorry Mom…."

She nods sadly and then looks over at Evelyn. "And you are another issue. Your father has seen the tabloids about you and Joseph Reynolds."

"Oy vey," Evelyn pouts.

"Ten years older than you…. And going through a divorce. This even has your mother in a tizzy…."

"My mother," she groans, "Please tell me she isn't flying back from California. I don't think I can deal with her right now." Evelyn's mother is a true piece of work. She reminds me a lot of Evelyn, except with more Botox and 100% more vain. Evelyn's goodness comes from her father.

"No," Mom says, shaking her head, "Bob got her to stay away…. But we're both still concerned. He is going through a divorce…. That makes this so much harder."

"He loves me Carla," she tells her honestly, "It's going to be alright. Stop freaking out."

"That's impossible Ev," Carla says, shaking her head, "We love you both, and you haven't been communicating with us."

"Sorry," I murmur. Mom places her hand on top of my free hand. She still looks upset, and I feel bad. I just know telling my mother about Christian would have meant more judgment and I just couldn't deal with that right now.

"And I've missed my baby girl…" she says, caressing Elizabeth's cheek, "She probably forgot all about me."

I laugh, "Mom, don't be overdramatic."

She snorts, "I'm not being overdramatic…. I just miss my baby….. and I just want to make sure my girls are making good decisions."

"I make good decisions all the time," I snort.

"Hey baby… where'd you put my suitcase?" I hear Christian's voice from the top of the stairs. All three of us turn to look and as my luck would have it – Christian is standing at the top of the stairs in a towel. My mother's jaw drops open and Christian goes instantly pale when he sees my mother. "You know what," he says, turning around, "I can find it by myself…"

He walks back into the guest room, and my Mom's face is a frozen mess of shock. Evelyn is giggling quietly and I really want to hit her right now. Mom turns back around and shakes her head.

"Alright…. Obviously you have MUCH MORE to tell me…."

**Christian **

** I run a billion dollar empire, I have thousands of employees, and the scariest person in the entire world is sitting downstairs in Ana's dining room. **I'd rather pull my own teeth then sit in that room with Ana's mother. I should be a better boyfriend and back her up right now, but I think it is a better (and safer) option for me to sit upstairs and let Ana deal with her Mom. Fuck, I am a pussy.

There is a lot of yelling going on, and it's mostly coming from my girlfriend. _Ah, my girlfriend – I love that I can use that phrase again in reference to Ana._ Friday night she finally declared what I knew she felt all along. She loves me. She is mine again, and I haven't been more thrilled.

The only problem is that it is Sunday and we haven't had nearly as much reunion sex as I would have liked. We made love the entire night Friday, and it has left me insatiable. I need more of her. Saturday came Evelyn's admission of what she had done (God, Evelyn is the damn best) and then we immediately jumped back into being parents.

That's the difference this time around – we share a daughter. We spent most of Saturday being a family, and I loved every damn minute of it. We spent all of our time at Ana's home, both of us too tired to go anywhere else. Whenever nap time rolled around, that's when the fun began...

"_Guest bedroom," she whispers in my ear once Elizabeth is down for her Saturday afternoon nap, "Now." With a blow in my ear, I am out of Elizabeth's room in nano second. _

_My pants and shirt are off by the time she enters the room. She shuts the door behind her and snickers to herself. "You have never let me have THIS MUCH control in the bedroom before."_

_I shrug, "I've been without you for too long…. I really don't give a fuck at this point."_

"_Good," she snorts, taking off her T-Shirt, "Lie down on the bed… and take off the underwear Grey."_

_I pull down my boxers and do what she instructs. She leisurely takes off her clothes, and I can't take my eyes off her. Once she is out of her bra, she wraps it around my foot and ties my ankle to the bed._

"_What the hell?"_

"_Trust me Grey," she says with a twinkle in her eye, "After you get over the shock of our reunion, you aren't ever going to let me take control and I want to take advantage of the power I have…"_

_Fuck. "Oh baby…." I blurt out, "If you play it right, I may let you do this more often…"_

_She snickers as she finds her T-Shirt, "Good to know." She ties her shirt to my other ankle and examines what she has done._

"_I like your hands on me, so I am going to let those stay free…. But you may only move them when you're given permission. I'll spank you if you move them any sooner."_

_Holy mother of fuck, I have missed this woman. "Ok," I mutter under my breath. I am already standing at attention for her, waiting impatiently for her next move. _

_She begins kissing me, moving from my ankles all the way up to my thighs and stopping right before she hits the best part. I groan as she skips right on up and begins kissing my chest, and licking across both nipples. _

"_Fuck…" I purr. _

_I had no idea this could be so damn erotic. She moves to my neck and then begins sucking on my lips. She doesn't let me deepen the kiss and moves right back down to my ankles. She moves her way back up, licking and biting this time. Her tongue and her lips are hypnotic, and I lose myself in how she feels against me. She is careful not to let any other part of her body touch me, and I know she is doing this on purpose. I need to feel her and I can't. _

_There has been no need for a blindfold; all I can do is close my eyes as she works her magical tongue across my body. So when she immediately moves to my cock, I am completely stunned. _

"_Fuck baby," I hiss as velvet heat envelops my cock. She moves up and down and up and down, driving me absolutely insane. _

"_What do you want Christian," she whispers seductively in my ear._

"_More…." I mutter._

"_More of what," she says right before she sucks on my cock again._

"_Fuck," I hiss as she continues. Her tongue skates across my hard cock and I feel so god damn close. _

"_More of fuck," she mutters jokingly, "I think I can work with that." _

_I am so happy I didn't open my eyes. Sometimes a surprise is much better then actually knowing what will happen. In this case, I was surprised by the feeling of her sheathing herself over me, and moving slowly up and down. I open my eyes, and there she is, leisurely riding my cock. The sight is something to behold: my hot fucking girlfriend moving up and down on my cock, her breasts forward, her head back, eyes closed, and savoring her pleasure with each intoxicating little moan._

_I reach forward, grabbing her breasts in my hands. Suddenly, she moves my hands from her chest and pins them to my sides. With her breasts touching my chest, she continues moving from a different angle and mewls with pleasure. _

_The next words that come out her mouth are the antitheses of why I love her. She is sweet and innocent to the world, but with me - she is my strong, powerful, and beautiful little freak._

"_No hands Christian," she purrs in my ear, "I want to know what it feels like to fuck your cock."_

_See what I mean?..._

"Christian?" Ana says from the door. I move from my wicked day dream to see my reality standing in front of me. "I would pay big money to hear what is going on in that mind of yours right now."

I snicker, "I was thinking about yesterday afternoon in this bedroom."

She blushes shyly and shakes her head. I can't believe it. The woman who told me that she wanted to fuck my cock yesterday is blushing like a little school girl. I can't believe it.

"Yesterday was good," she says with a nod, "But we need to move it along today. Mom is gone and we need to go shopping."

"Shopping?" I question.

She shrugs, "Evelyn needs some retail therapy after that little squabble and is convinced I need new clothes…."

"Alright, we can go," I tell her as I stand up. I move across the room and kiss her on the cheek. "I would actually love to take you shopping."

She rolls her eyes, "Of course…. Elle needs clothes too…. My baby is getting so big."

I smirk, "I'd love to spend money on both of my girls. Come…."

**Ana **

** I can't believe I am doing this. **We have spent the entire day shopping, and I am cranky and tired. We're all exhausted, Elizabeth is sleeping on Evelyn for goodness sake, and I am still trying on clothes. Not just clothes, Evelyn insisted I buy new lingerie. I have lost some of the baby weight, and since I am in a new relationship – she determined it was time for new sexy clothes.

Christian of course didn't argue with the idea. He has sat through a whole day of this garbage, a little agitated towards the end, but of course – he changed his tune for new lingerie. We found a private dressing room at Nordstroms, and I have tried on more articles of clothing then I can even count. I pull on the straps of a purple lace chemise with a garter belt and matching stalkings, and take in a deep, exhausted breath. I look into the mirror and slip on a pair of Louboutins.

"Hey Sis," Evelyn calls out, "Ummmm…. Come out now please."

I groan, "I'm coming." I open the curtain and I immediately take in the scene in front of me. We have a visitor in our private dressing room, and if I wasn't dressed like this, I am sure I'd claw her to shreds for touching Christian.

Milania, who is dressed in a long white coat and matching boots, is standing next to Christian and lightly touching his arm. She stops completely when she sees me looking her direction. She moves her skank hands to a stroller, and I assume her son is sleeping inside. Elizabeth is wrapped around the other side of Christian and Evelyn is grinning like a fool. I have no doubt that once Evelyn saw Milania, she threw our daughter around his shoulder without a second thought.

"Baby," Christian coughs, "You look amazing…. Ummm… Milania was just leaving…."

I look over at Milania and she has eye daggers set right for me. Bitch better step back, she was the one who had the audacity to touch my man. I'd tell her off, but I am a mother fucking lady.

Evelyn smiles and waves, "It was really great to see you M…. Christian, his girlfriend, and their baby really must be leaving…. It's getting late."

Milania huffs loudly, turns around, and storms off. Evelyn turns to me and cackles. "I really need to reprint my business cards to say – Evelyn Adams, Evil Genius Extraordinaire."

**A/N –I don't own FSOG – thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think! I'd label this as a "Fun" filler chapter. The next one will be a bit more serious (I think). **

**Thanks for all the wonderful responses from the last chapter – proof that you should always TRUST ME ;) **


	27. Brick Wall Meets Brick Wall

**Chapter 27 – Brick Wall Meets Brick Wall **

**Christian**

** "Are you really going to monopolize my daughter for the rest of the day?" I ask Evelyn as she looks down at a sleeping Elizabeth**. She smiles and leaves a small kiss on the top of her head.

"Yes…." She says firmly, "I haven't seen her at all lately…."

"Now whose fault is that?" I ask her as she snickers.

"Reynolds's," She snorts, "Him and that hot ass."

"You better not talk like that," I snap at her, "Not in front of my daughter."

"She is sleeping," she retorts.

"She can still hear you," I tell her. She smacks me on the shoulder and shakes her head. I scowl at her, but it only causes her to laugh louder.

"Mr. Grey," Taylor murmurs, suddenly appearing at my side, "We have a problem."

I move Taylor outside of the dressing area so I can keep Evelyn out of the conversation. She has ears like a bat, and who fucking knows what Taylor needs to speak with me about.

Taylor nods toward the front door, and I can't fucking believe it. Milania Turotti is standing at the door with a stroller in the grasp of her white gloves. She is dressed entirely in white, seeming to use the color white to over compensate for her dark and evil soul. Milania's eyes are roaming around the store, obviously looking for someone. I knew I should have cleared out the store; I fucking knew it but Ana stated it wasn't necessary.

After I left Milania in the hospital, the day of Nicholas's birth, she hasn't bothered me. She hasn't called me, she hasn't called my parents – she has kept her distance. Because of how she has acted since our final separation, I didn't feel the need to follow through with any form of restraining order. She better not be up to her old shit. If she starts any sort of garbage today, I won't be responsible for my actions.

When the paternity test happened, one of Anastasia's requests was for none of this to be in the papers or tabloids. Using my name and money, I've tried my best to make this happen for her. The best I could pull off was speculation over a possible love child for myself but no mother was included in the news. I am sure this shopping trip will only increase speculation, and at this point – I don't care. From these reports - Milania should know that there is a child, but she should be in the dark on any other detail. The fact that she hasn't tried to grill my parents over the subject has shown that she is willing to keep her distance, or at least I had hoped.

"I want Turotti out of here discreetly," I nudge Taylor, "I don't want Anastasia to even know she is here."

"I don't think that's possible," Taylor tells me, "She recognized Sawyer and has requested rather insistently to see you."

"Fuck," I hiss, "I don't like this…. I don't want anyone in our party to know that bitch is here."

"Oh my god," I hear Evelyn behind me, "Crazy bitch skank is here." She points to Milania across the store, and she immediately places Elizabeth in my arms.

"We're handling this situation Miss Adams," Taylor tells her.

"I'm sure you are, but I can handle it much better…," Evelyn says with a snicker. "Milania!" Evelyn yells, "Milania…. Over here."

"What the hell are you doing?" I snap at her. Milania walks forward, pushing her stroller as she moves. Her eyes are anxious and she moves slowly, seeming to read my expression as she walks towards us. She should be anxious – if we weren't in public and if Evelyn didn't insist on seeing her, she would be out of here in an instant.

"Trust me," she whispers in my ear.

"Well," Milania says, looking back and forth between Evelyn and me, "What a pleasant surprise…. And who is that young lady on your shoulder?"

"This is his daughter…." Evelyn states, boldly.

"Oh, how nice," she says softly, "It's good to see you Christian. I heard you had a child, but it is so wonderful to see her in real life. Christian, I hope you know that I regret our past so much…."

She pats me on the arm and my blood begins to boil. She is full of shit and she knows it. I nod curtly to Taylor and Sawyer and they begin to hover around her, cautiously monitoring every move she makes. She shouldn't be here; I don't want Ana to see her. I can take her shit as long as she leaves Ana alone.

"Hey Sis," Evelyn calls out, "Ummmm…. Come out now please."

"Evelyn," I hiss.

I hear Ana's voice and then she suddenly makes an appearance into our dressing room. I feel my jaw hit the floor and my arousal begin to stir. Her crème silky skin looks perfectly edible against the lavender lace. Her breasts and legs are highlighted in this set of lingerie, and my eyes can't decide which looks better. She glares at me with a scowl, and I know she isn't happy with the intruder in our dressing area. _I'm so sorry baby, I'm not either._

"Baby," I say too hoarsely, "You look amazing…. Ummm… Milania was just leaving." The two women scowl at each other, and I know Milania must have connected the dots by now.

Evelyn smiles and waves, "It was really great to see you M…. Christian, his girlfriend, and their baby really must be leaving…. It's getting late."

Milania huffs angrily, turns around, and leaves. Why did she have to show up anyway? Why does every effort I make with Milania Turotti blow up in my fucking face?

I turn to Taylor. "Call my father, I need to work on a restraining order," I whisper.

Evelyn cackles, "I really need to reprint my business cards to say – Evelyn Adams, Evil Genius Extraordinaire."

Anastasia isn't happy, Anastasia isn't laughing. She scowls, turns around, and walks back inside the dressing room. I know our day is officially fucked. One step forward, two steps back. Why does every effort I make with Anastasia blow up in my fucking face?

**Ana**

** I am very glad Elizabeth fell asleep during our shopping trip.** This is how I am able to pull off a silent drive home. I don't want to talk to him; I don't want to talk to anybody. Damn Milania Turotti, and her ridiculous way of making me feel so small when life was just starting to feel so good. She didn't say a damn word to me, but I'm still in a horrible mood.

Christian is walking on egg shells, as he should be. He committed two sins – he made physical contact with her, and he let her back to our dressing area. I realize she touched him and he looked like he was in pain because of it, but still. I'm too pissed to allow him slack.

We finally make it home, and I release my daughter from her car seat and walk her into the house. Christian follows dutifully, and Evelyn comes in after him. The air is tense, and they both remain quiet. I walk upstairs, place Elizabeth in her crib, and slam my bedroom door shut. I haven't been in this room since I got back together with Christian. Is Christian and I's relationship only two days old? Even though it's only been a few days, it feels like an eternity.

I throw myself on the bed and try to calm down. Milania did nothing during this shopping trip, so logically – I shouldn't be this pissed. Seeing her just brings back everything from the past year, and I don't like being reminded of her reign of terror in my life.

A soft knock comes from the door and I sink myself deeper into Sloane's pillow. I don't know how this is possible, but it still smells like him.

"What?" I moan.

"Can I come in?" Christian's voice asks nervously outside.

"No," I blurt out.

"Baby, please…." He begs.

"Fine, whatever," I snap.

There is a small pause before he finally opens the door. I don't move an inch, but I feel him move through the room and take a seat at my feet. We sit in silence, and I can hear him breathe deeply next to me.

"Alright baby, since you won't talk to me – I am forced to play a game of charades. You ready?"

"Shoot," I snap back from Sloane's pillow.

"You are mad because Milania showed up at the store…."

"And," I say, picking up my head, "She touched you."

"I'm so sorry…." He tells me. I see his sincerity, and it tugs at my heart.

"Why was she there, Christian?"

"She was shopping…. She saw Sawyer…."

"She lied to you about the paternity of her child, and yet she is still allowed in your airspace," I snap at him, "Why was she there…. Why is she allowed on your radar?"

"She hasn't been a threat since the paternity of her kid was revealed…."

I sit up and smack him with my pillow. "Are you fucking kidding me Grey? So if North Korea tells us they aren't going to fire nuclear weapons on us, we should just say "ok!" and just ignore them and live life as normal. Are you kidding me?"

He nods, overtaken by my words. "Fair point well made as ever Miss Steele."

"God, I want to smack you with a brick pillow," I hiss at him.

"Why?"

"Because…. We need to talk about her….I don't believe that this is over or resolved…." I say with another smack, "You're so fucking dense."

"There are other things we need to talk about," he says, hitting me back with the pillow, "I am not the only dense one in this relationship."

"What are you talking about?"

He motions to the room, "Why haven't we stepped foot in here."

I knew this was coming, I just wish he wouldn't. "Christian…."

"Why are we in the guest room…."

A sob threatens to push through, "You know why…."

"Can we talk about it?" he asks.

"No," I hiss, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You aren't the only one in this relationship who wants answers," he says as he gets up.

I grab his arm, trying not to cry as I open my mouth. "You know why we can't be in here…."

"Say it," he hisses at me, "Say it…."

"You're an insensitive bastard," I say, throwing his arm back at him.

"No," he grumbles, becoming angrier by the moment, "I was told when I got back into a relationship with you that you would talk to me…. That you would let me do this with you, but it seems that you're only using me for sex, and you definitely still seem to think you can do this alone…."

"You're complaining about the sex?" I ask, my voice going up at the end of the word.

He grabs the sides of my face and caresses my cheeks, "I want more. I need more of you."

I sob as he leaves a kiss on my forehead. "We've been together since Friday night…. It's Sunday. I need more time."

"Brick wall meets brick wall…." He whispers to himself. He turns around and heads for the door.

"Christian," I breath, nervous his exit will lead to the end of our relationship.

"Yes baby?"

"Where are you going?" I sob, "Please…. Don't leave me."

He takes in a deep breath and walks back. "I'm going home…."

"No," I cry, "You're leaving me…."

"I need space," he says as he wipes away my tears, "You need to sleep in your bed, and I need to sleep in mine."

"No," I shake my head, "I don't sleep as well without you."

He sighs, "Think about why you don't sleep as well without me…. And when you're willing to talk to me about it, let me know."

"So you're gone?"

"No, I'll be back tomorrow." He leaves me one last kiss before he finally exits, leaving me a mess on my bedroom floor.

**I eventually made it back to my bed from the floor, and Evelyn and Elizabeth eventually made it into bed with me. **After today, spending my evening in bed as Elizabeth beats on my head is exactly what I need to feel better. Evelyn has been in control of the television and has made sure I've eaten. I am so fucking thankful she lives with me.

"You should call Reynolds," I tell her, "Me and Elle Belle will be fine alone."

She smiles wistfully at the pair of us, "I'm good… Reynolds can go without me for an evening."

"Really?" I ask her.

She nods, "I've neglected you two lately."

"It's been three days Ev, three days, and we're already fighting."

She snorts, "Or…. You're actually talking about what you need to be talking about…. Don't hide because it scares you."

I place my head in my hands, "He scares me. What happened between us scares me."

"You can't live in fear. Figure out the problem, talk about it, and love each other again. He is right…. You do everything alone and you need to stop."

**A/N – Sorry for my lack of updates: you can blame Gabriel's Inferno and Vacation for that. Again, another filler, but we're finally going to get these two to talk very soon. I don't own FSOG and thank you for reading. **


	28. Chanel-Gate

**A/N – This chapter has a similar format to Chapter 24's "The New Year." Ana and Christian are in Dr. Flynn's office, and you'll find out towards the end why – just in case anyone gets confused while they read this. I try to be clear, but sometimes it gets lost in translation. We're starting a week after chapter 27**

**Thank you for all the feedback from the last chapter! You guys are gems! Enjoy this new chapter and let me know what you think! I don't own FSOG!**

**Chapter 28 – Chanel-Gate**

**Ana – Sunday (Seven Days Later) **

** Dr. Flynn looks back and forth between Christian and me, shaking his head in exasperation**. This is my fault, I realize it. If I had gone to see Flynn at the beginning of the week like John and Christian both suggested, maybe I wouldn't be at this point. What happened yesterday wasn't my finest moment, and now I have to answer for it.

"So who wants to start first," Flynn begins, "Take me back to the beginning…. Because I know something must have led to yesterday's debacle."

Christian turns to me, trying to hold back his smile. God, I want to smack him in his cocky face – and then kiss it. He shakes his head and runs his hands through his hair.

"Well…. Nothing much happened during the week. I would come over to the house, spend time with Elizabeth, and then go back to Escala every night. We've kept our distance from each other," Christian tells Flynn, "I thought it would do us some good…. It sucks, but I don't know else what to do. "

He won't engage in conversation with me, he won't touch me; he'll barely look at me. He doesn't seem mad at me, and that's what makes this so much harder.

"What made you get to this point…. Why did you decide to live your lives this way?"

"He decided this," I point out, "This was his decision."

Christian blanches as if I slapped him and then sighs deeply, "I warred with myself. I love her, but obviously we still have issues that she isn't willing to discuss. I still want to be in her life, and I definitely want to be in my daughter's life, so I thought for right now, we need to keep a distance between us."

I hold back a sob and Christian squeezes my knee. "How do you feel about this Ana?"

I don't fucking know how I feel right now. I have so much swimming in my brain and I can't even vocalize my thoughts. I want to say anything right now, but all I can do is sob.

"Has the separation helped?" Flynn rephrases his question as he hands me a box of tissues. I shake my head and wipe my eyes. Christian leaves a small kiss on the forehead, and I feel horrible. How can he love me when I am like this, I am a train wreck.

"It led," Christian whispers, answering for me, "To Saturday night. Last night…."

**Ana – Saturday Night**

** "Do you really have to leave me tonight?" I ask Evelyn as she squeezes into a red mini dress.**

She nods, "You know, you could come with us…. Christian invited you."

Christian and I have remained separate from each other this week, but I still see him every day. The distance is slowly killing me. He did invite me to Grace's Charity Ball, but after everything that has happened – I cant. I decided it would be best for me to stay home tonight and spend time with my daughter.

"No… it's just me and Elizabeth tonight," I say, watching my baby crawl across Evelyn's room.

"Alright Ana," she says, admiring herself in the mirror, "We'll miss you. Reynolds loves you."

"He does not…." I snort.

"Yes he does…." She says, closing her closet, "Oh my god, you won't believe what he told me."

"What," I ask as I pick Elizabeth off the ground and take a seat on Evelyn's bed.

"He said that you would make an excellent sister-in-law…. Apparently Eryn's sister is a bitch like her. Surprise, surprise."

"Evelyn," I remind her, "You'll need to wait till he is _DIVORCED_ before you can start talking like that…."

"Debbie Downer," Evelyn huffs.

"Ana Rational," I fire back.

Evelyn snorts, "Fine Ana Rational…. But I love him and he is so good to me." That's what I love about my sister. Whenever you confront her about anything, she listens and takes it with a smile.

"As long as he is good to you…."

"Listen," she sighs, changing lanes quickly, "I feel responsible for what is going on between you and Christian…. And I hate that."

I snort, "Why are you responsible?"

"Well…." She says, taking a seat across from me, "I am the reason Milania came back to our dressing area…."

"No," I tell her, "If you did anything, you brought a subject that we need to talk about to the forefront; it's not your fault. We just need to talk about her and we can't right now…."

"Why?"

"Because I can't talk to him without turning into a messy glob on the floor, I can't talk to him without crying hysterically…. I can't figure my shit out right now."

Evelyn snorts, "Well at least you recognize that you're a mess."

I snicker as she leans over to kiss me. "You call me, and I'll be here in a flash. I mean it…. I love you."

"I love you too," I tell her back, "Don't worry, me and my little one will be just fine."

Elizabeth makes an adorable huff, seeming to be disappointed that Aunty Evelyn is leaving her for the evening. Evelyn chuckles and gives her a small kiss on her cheek. She grins and I gather up Elizabeth to walk downstairs.

"Remember how you and I started," Evelyn begins as we walk downstairs, "I would never expect us to be actual sisters…. You're my best friend."

"I know," I tell her, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

We both grin and hug in the middle of the living room. Elizabeth whimpers due to being squished between us and we quickly let her out of our death grip. The doorbell rings and Evelyn bends over.

"Sorry baby, I love you too…" she tells her with a kiss.

We walk over and Evelyn opens the door. I don't think Evelyn has ever greeted Joseph without jumping on him, and this moment is no different. She jumps, they kiss disgustingly, they grab bathing suit areas, and all is well.

"Bye Joseph, Bye Evelyn," I yell out at Mr. and Mrs. Disgustington.

Joseph laughs, "Bye Ana…. Bye Elizabeth."

I close the door and look down at Elizabeth. She looks back up at me, and smiles – she is beyond adorable when she smiles. I relax and try to set my mind at ease. Amongst all of my idiot, sixth grade, girl/boy drama – Christian and I are at least good parents to our munchkin and that's all that really matters.

"Alright baby cakes, it's just you and me tonight…."

**Twenty minutes later, my Mom shows up. **I'd say I was surprised by this, but my mother often does this. She loves showing up, unannounced whenever she wants. Since I just put my baby to bed, I welcome my mother's arrival to my residence on a Saturday evening with open arms. She brought wine on a night that I am all by myself for the evening; I should start calling her Saint Carla.

"Why aren't you at this charity ball?" my mom asks as she fills up a glass with rose wine, "I mean…. Evelyn told me even Kate would be there."

"Ok, I need something from you right now…."

Mom nods, "Ok, what do you need?"

"I don't need my Mom…. While yes, I love having you around and I love listening to your wisdom. Right now, I need a friend…. Somebody to tell me I'm right, to be on my side on every issue, and to love me when I am saying complete bullshit."

"That sounds like a lackey…."

"At the very least, I don't want to hear moral judgments from you," I correct myself, "Just say… 'yeah girl' and 'oh man' or 'she is a bitch'….. you good with doing that tonight? This is vital when discussing Kate Kavanagh."

She laughs, "Is that what Evelyn does…."

"Evelyn adds a little bit of jumping in to solve the problem and I don't want that tonight…."

"No solving problems for you – got it."

"Good," I say as we clink wine glasses, "Moving on, Kate is engaged to Elliot."

"Really?" Mom asks in surprise, "Do you know how she is doing…."

"Not a clue."

"Ok, you are going to hate me for bringing this up," Mom begins.

"I love when you start sentences like that."

She snickers, "But I just figured she would be at one or more of the memorials for Sloane."

Did she seriously just do that? "Yes, I do hate you for bringing that up."

"I'm sorry…." She replies back, shaking her head, "God, I am bad at this."

I take in a deep breath. "When Grace has functions or family gatherings – Reynolds gets invited because he is good friends and business partners with Christian, Kate gets invited because of Elliot, and I only get invited because I am the creator of the Grey's first grandchild."

"They don't see you just as that…. Grace loves you."

"Really… she shouldn't because I treat their son like shit," I say, immediately moving my hand to my mouth. I am shocked by my own words and I have no idea what to say next. We both sit in awkward silence for a second and Mom refills my wine glass.

"Don't stop…. Keep going. I kind of like you like this," Mom snorts, "Does this affect your breast milk."

"I stopped breastfeeding last week," I tell her honestly, "Christian doesn't know."

She nods, "More wine…."

"Do you think I treat Christian like shit?"

"I think you're in a tough place, and being in a relationship right now is unfair to him," she says with a shrug, "Baby, you're doing the best you can. You were married nearly four months ago. You thought he was the father of your kid, and life was good. Now, you're a widow, raising your daughter with your ex-boyfriend, and it sucks. You have to give yourself a break."

"I love him, but there is still so much standing in the way…."

"Do you love him?" Mom asks, eyebrows pointed.

"God, yes. I wish I didn't… all of this would be so much easier if I wasn't still crazy about him."

She sighs and places her hand on mine. "Christian Grey is my Ray Steele."

"Come Again?"

She groans, "I love Bob Adams…. Do not tell Evelyn otherwise because I am crazy about that man….., but Ray Steele used to drive me crazy too. Our problem was that he let his job get in the way of us. He allowed his parents, his friends, his job – all of that get in the way of our relationship."

"Grandma and Grandpa Steele…."

"Hate me with a passion," she interrupts, smiling at me, "I took their little boy away. I came in and I turned his world around and they hated me so much for it. And they definitely hate me now for breaking his heart…."

"So what should I do…."

"When you are ready…." She begins, "Don't let anything get between you and happiness. If that's Christian…. Then so be it."

**My Mom is a light weight and she ended up passing out after an hour of drinking. **Unfortunately for me, I am still very much awake and unable to fall asleep myself. I begin to pace around the living room when my cell phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Ana, oh my god," Evelyn slurs out, "Get to Grace's house ASAP."

"Ummmm…. Why?" I ask, moving my eyes to my mom. She seems to be awake and staring at me as I take my call with Evelyn.

"Christian is here…. And there is this girl…."

"What girl?" I snap at her.

"I don't know," she says, "I can't get close enough to figure this out, but they seem to be…. Together."

I feel my heart drop in my stomach and tears flood my eyes. "I'll be there as soon as possible."

**Mom was willing to stay while I made the trek to Bellevue. **I am beyond relieved that she hasn't asked a lot of questions about my spontaneous trip to Grace's house. I don't think I could even give a sane answer at this point. I don't know what to make of Evelyn's revelations. There is a possibility that this girl could be absolutely no one, but if she is hanging around Christian – there is a chance she could want to be more than his shadow at a charity dinner.

When I finally pull up to the driveway, I am greeted by several security guys. "Good evening Ma'am," the first man nods, "Are you on the guest list?"

"Good Evening, I think I might be, my name is Anastasia Steele."

The man looks and immediately begins nodding. "Yes ma'am, but you seem to not be in dress code," he points out. It is nearly February and I am wearing Jeans and a grey sweatshirt, they definitely won't let me in looking like this.

"I just need to talk to Mr. Grey, It is um…. Concerning our daughter." I cringe at my obvious lie -You are looking at the World's Worst Mother.

"Alright, that's fine," the first man says, turning to someone behind him, "Contact Taylor and he'll contact Mr. Grey." Shit, Shit, Shit. This is the worst plan ever.

"Um…. Wait." This is a bad idea, I need to turn around.

"Drive right on through, Ms. Steele," the man says, ignoring me and pointing to the front drive of his parent's residence.

I smile nervously and wave, wondering what will greet me at the front door.

**When I arrive, Christian is already outside waiting. **His eyes are frantic and I can see that he is scanning the car for the baby. Fuck, how am I going to get myself out of this?

"Hi," he says when I open the door, "Where is she, is she ok?"

"She is fine," I tell him.

His eye brows shoot up, "Then what the fuck?"

"Do you have a date?" I ask, my voice squeaking.

"What the fuck?" he repeats, getting angrier by the second.

"Do you have a date tonight?" I need to just let it out there, I've already messed up. I might as well make this count.

His jaw drops open and he looks around the front drive of his parent's home, seeming to be searching for some type of miracle. "So what you're saying is that you drove to Bellevue, without Elizabeth…."

"She is with my Mom," I murmur.

"To come to my parent's charity party, making up an excuse about my kid's health to ask me if I brought a date tonight…." He fumes, "Have I missed anything?"

"When you say it like that, it just sounds bad."

I'm shaking at this point and feeling incredibly stupid. He shouldn't even continue to bother with me, I am a fucking psycho. He deserves better, someone who can actually be the person he needs. Christian grabs onto my shoulders and stares me down.

"I'm going to ask you again… why are you here?"

"You deserve her," I tell him, trying not to fall into a fit of tears, "I am crazy and irrational and I am still broken into a million pieces….I get why you needed your space this week. I'm a mess."

"Ana…."

"Look," I say, stopping at my driver side door, "This was a mistake, I am sorry about driving over here and disrupting your party. I am sorry for using our daughter to get you to talk to me – that is a complete Milania move and I cannot believe I let it happen. I am sorry for all the times I have ever lied to you because apparently that's what I do now…."

"Ana wait…." He pleads.

In that moment a brunette and a blonde female, both women seeming to be in their early twenties, walk down the front steps of the Grey home. The young brunette comes up to Christian and throws her arms around him in a hug. He hugs her back, but continues to stare at me.

"Thank you Christian," the girl says, "Tonight would have sucked without you."

He turns to address her, "No problem, Chanel. That's what _**cousins **_are for."

My jaw is on the ground - Cousins? Evelyn confused a date for a cousin? What the hell? If I didn't already feel stupid, add Christian's cousin to the mix.

"Chanel Grey, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Anastasia Steele."

The beautiful brunette beams as she walks over to introduce herself. "It is so nice to finally meet you. Christian could not stop talking tonight about his girlfriend and their baby. I was hoping to get to meet you in person!"

Dumbfounded, I shake her hand. "It's nice to meet you too Chanel."

"He was so great," she says, lightly patting Christian's arm, "Aunt Grace accidently invited my Ex-Fiancé and so Christian so nicely allowed me to sit with him and Mia and Elliot and Kate…. He's such a good guy. You're lucky, Ana. Some of us get douche bags for exes."

I nod and she hugs him a second time. "Have a good night you two…. I'm going back into the party. Mia is going to teach me how to do the dougie…."

As Chanel exits, we stand in silence. After a moment, he grabs my hand and kisses it. He shakes his head and smiles at me.

"You came over here because Evelyn told you I had a girl on my arm…. "

I nod. "She did," I whisper.

"You thought this week was me telling you goodbye…."

I nod again. "I thought that maybe…."

"Listen to me, and listen to me good because I won't repeat myself again, …. You make me want to punch my hand through a brick wall on a myriad of occasions – like tonight for example, but you need to know that I love you, no matter what. I knew from the beginning that this wouldn't be easy. I understand that four months ago you were married. I knew this was going to take time, but I hate that you keep shutting me out. We have lies and exes and other ridiculous bullshit between us, but that doesn't change anything for me. My frustration happens when you let those things become more important than how I feel about you. I love you and I want you. "

"God," I sob, "When did you become so perfect? You weren't always like this. You were the douchebag ex that Chanel was talking about…."

He snorts and wipes away my tears with his thumbs. "I am actually going to see Flynn…. And after this little psychotic episode, I am forcing you to see Flynn too."

I nod, "Fine. You're right."

"Don't you ever do this again…. Do you understand me?"

I nod my head, "We'll go see Flynn."

"But let me just say, I love it when you have these little episodes because one thing becomes painstakingly clear."

"What?" I ask.

"You love me…."

"I do not," I say with a light smack.

"Anastasia Steele, you're in love with me."

"Stop it," I snicker as he continues to tease me.

"You L-O-V-E me…."

"Go back to the party," I laugh at him.

"Are you kidding me, I am taking you back home…"he says as he successfully steals my keys, "I don't trust you to do it yourself."

"Fine," I huff as I move to the passenger side.

"Flynn tomorrow…. I mean it," he tells me. Under his demands, I surprisingly feel right at home.

**Ana – Sunday **

** "Alright," Flynn says, putting down his notepad, "Christian, go to the waiting room – I need to talk to Ana."**

I shake my head at Flynn as Christian leaves me a departing kiss. Once Christian closes the door, Flynn gives me a reassuring smile.

"Rhian was married before me…." He begins, "They were married a year before he passed away. When we began our relationship two years later, she told me that she still hurt. That the memory of that man was still present in her everyday life."

"Wow," I murmur, "I had no idea."

He nods, "When you lose someone…. Especially someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, you lose a part of yourself. You forget who you are, you forget what it means to be you, you forget how to be a productive member of society…. and sometimes you forget what it means to even tell someone you love them."

Tears fill my eyes as he squeezes my hand. "The reason I didn't want you to jump into a relationship with him was because I wanted you to figure out what it means to be Anastasia Steele again. You two have this uncanny ability to jump hard and jump fast, and I didn't want that for you. I wanted you to go at your pace."

"I can't stay away from him," I blurt out.

He nods, "Yes…. I was afraid of that."

I snort, "So where should I go from here?"

"Date him."

"Come again?"

He snorts, "Date him. Go out to dinner. Go to the movies. Go to Pikes Place together and go shop. Buy things for your daughter together. Take her to the Zoo. Be a couple. Don't act like you need to figure this all out now. Just be."

"Just be…." I repeat his last sentence.

He nods, "Enjoy life. Feel pain, feel frustration, feel love, feel happiness. Figure out what that feels like again."

"Ok," I tell him, "I think we can try that."

"Sleep in different houses. Or rooms. I know you've been sleeping together, and I know telling Christian Grey to stay celibate is going to be a difficult task, but try to keep him at bay the best you can." I snicker and he laughs with me. "Christian may be socially inept but his idea of keeping distance was actually pretty good. I want you to keep that up in the evenings the best you can."

I nod, "Ok…. I think we can try."

"Good," he says with a sweet smile, "I'll see you next week."


	29. Family Problems

**A/N - Hey guys, I started an original story and I have posted the prologue on Fiction Press. Here is the link if you're interested - www . fictionpress s/ 3141473/ 1/….. I took out the spaces so hopefully it will go through. Copy and paste it and then get rid of the spaces. Or you can look for me on Fiction press as LizLemon2. Any input you're willing to give will be appreciated.**

**Now, on to Feel Again…. Enjoy this new chapter! I don't own FSOG! Thank you for all the feedback from the last chapter. You guys are the best!**

**Chapter 29 – Family Problems**

**Ana**

** "Do not pick up that phone," Evelyn yells from the next room as my cell phone rings. **

Grady Sloane, now the oldest of the Sloane brothers, is my guest this morning, and he turns to look at me with surprise. I shake my head at Evelyn; this is my personal cell phone for Pete's sake. "Why can't I answer my own damn phone?" I yell back at her. Evelyn gives no answer and I finally get a good look at who is calling me. "Shit…. Grady, it's your mother."

Grady hisses, "Fuck. Ana, do you want me to answer this?"

"Why? I can stand up to your mother…" I ask as I click accept, "Hello…."

"So, are you going to marry him now?" Jackie snaps angrily through the phone. I am in such shock over Jackie's words that I have no idea what to say.

"What?"

"You were shopping with him; you've been on dates with him…. When are you going to marry him, sell RC's home, and forget my son ever existed?"

Grady moves forward and reaches to grab the phone out of my hands. I have a strong feeling that Grady knew this might happen. I hand him the phone, and take a seat back down at my kitchen island. I look over at my daughter and she is staring at me inquisitively. Elizabeth is getting really good at sensing my feelings and emotions, so I decide to take her to Evelyn while Grady and I have this discussion with Jackie. I move Elizabeth to Evelyn quickly, and re-take my seat at the kitchen island.

"I have told you and told you Mom…. You can't talk to her like that," I hear Grady hiss at his mother, "RC is dead…. He would have wanted her to have a life. Yes, he hates Grey, but that doesn't mean Ana should…. No, I am not getting into the details of Ana's relationship with Grey because you want to."

He turns back to me and places his mother on speakerphone. "I'm putting Ana on speakerphone Mom, and I think you need to listen and hear why I am over at her house this morning…."

"Yes…. I would like to know too," she snaps through the phone. Grady shakes his head in exasperation. RC always said his mother was hard to handle. I never understood this until he passed away.

I take in a deep breath. "I am looking to move in the next year or so…."

"I knew it," she interrupts me, "I knew you would do this…. Sell a home that RC paid for and loved. I cannot believe you would do this to him…."

"Mom shut up," Grady yells back at her, "You need to stop interrupting her and you need to stop acting like a complete bitch and let Ana explain what she is going to do with the house."

"Did you just call me a bitch?"

"Yeah, I am going to call you a bitch when you act like one," Grady sneers at her, "Now shut up and listen."

Grady and I both take matching breaths as I continue. "I am giving the house to Grady…. And his girlfriend Kerry …."

There is a pause on the line and Grady and I look at each other nervously. "I won't allow you to live in sin…." Jackie begins, "You need to marry this girl before you move into your brother's home."

"I am proposing to her in three weeks."

Jackie gasps and Grady and I both smile. "Do you have a ring for her?"

"Of course I have a ring for her…." Grady begins, "Ana gave me the one RC gave her…. And before you say any more shit about it – she is keeping their wedding rings. So she isn't just giving RC's life away."

"I have the wedding rings and locket that RC gave me….," I say, mostly for myself, "I have plenty of things to remember him by."

Jackie takes a deep breath. "Mom…." Grady begins, "You owe Ana an apology." This isn't necessary. I look up at him anxiously and he waves me off. "RC is gone, and I know you're upset, but stop making Ana the bad guy. She loved him and she is trying to live her life the best she can without him. She made a huge gesture in giving me the house…. RC would have been proud of her for it. RC would be horrified by your behavior, and I wouldn't blame him. He loved Ana…. Stop treating her like shit."

I hear Jackie take another sharp breath, and I know I hear tears on the other end. "I'm sorry Ana…." She whispers softly, "I've never been good with the mourning process. I was a complete bitch when my mother died."

Grady nods with satisfaction. "It's fine. I get it," I tell her, "He was your baby… I don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes."

"You'd probably have a lot more grace then me," Jackie snorts, "Thank you for giving Grady and Kerry a home… That is very generous. I see why my son loved you."

Thank God for Grady Sloane. "I loved him too," I say, trying to hold back my own sob.

We eventually hang up with Jackie as Evelyn walks down the stairs with Elizabeth. "Everyone ok down here?" she asks.

I nod, "Yeah, I think we're fine…."

"The Greys are coming over at eleven…. We need to get moving," she reminds me, "Gail will be here in ten minutes to start preparing brunch."

"Then I should probably get out of your hair," Grady says, picking up his backpack.

"Listen, Grady. I don't have a place to live yet, so it may take closer to a year before we can get out of here…."

He places his hand on mine, "Don't worry. I can give you time," he reassures me, "We may actually end up moving in here after the wedding…. Just like Jackie would want."

I usher Grady out of the house and when his car pulls away, my cell phone rings again. Evelyn picks my phone up, sees the number, denies the call and throws it down on the couch. She turns to me and shrugs apologetically.

"Sorry."

"What the hell Ev?" I huff as I pick my phone up from the couch, "Who is calling my cell phone and why are you hanging it up without my permission?"

"It's Joseph…." She murmurs sadly, "He got your number from Christian because I keep ignoring his calls."

My heart sinks, "Did something happen between you two? Is his divorce getting nasty?"

She shakes her head, "I don't want to talk about it."

I want to press her further on the issue, but time won't allow me to do so. I know how crazy she is about him and she must be in deep pain. Right on schedule, I am interrupted by the doorbell and I answer it without a second thought. Gail is here and soon the rest of the Grey family will be here too. We have a big day in front of us, and I want my sister to enjoy herself no matter what is going on with her boyfriend.

"I want to celebrate today," Evelyn whispers in my ear, "Elle is 9 months old, and she deserves to be the center of attention – not me."

**Evelyn throws all of her attention to our clothing options. **We don't have a lot of time before the Greys get here, and we need to find the perfect outfit for brunch and our zoo trip. I am definitely going to need Evelyn's help for our dinner date later this evening.

I thought it might be fun to have Christian's family partake in my cupcake tradition; Grace even purchased this month's cupcake. I give Elizabeth a cupcake to celebrate each birth month and take pictures of her digging into her treat.

"Do you think a cupcake a month is extreme?" I ask Evelyn as I change clothes.

Evelyn laughs, "Um… that girl adheres to the Christian Grey proscribed food list…. I think a cupcake a month is just fine."

"I almost forgot about Christian's control freakish menu for Elizabeth…."

"Yeah," Evelyn snorts, "Home girl deserves a cupcake for what Daddy makes her eat every other day."

I watch Elizabeth intently as she crawls around my bedroom, examining everything in her path. "Ok," Evelyn tells me as she lifts up Elizabeth's dress, "We will put this adorable white lacey dress with this way cute matching headband on after her birthday cupcake."

I nod, "That will come later. We'll have to bathe her and then put her down for her nap before the zoo."

"Gotcha…. Now I am going to wear this matching dress and brown boots to the Zoo…. What do you want to wear?"

"Geez Ev," I laugh at her, "It's the zoo…. Not the mall."

"I still wanna look good…" she laughs.

"Are you trying to pick up more men at the zoo?" I ask her with a chuckle. Her face falls and I instantly regret mentioning it. If she would just tell me what her problem with Reynolds is, I wouldn't have to worry about saying something offensive.

"No," she says, pulling out a pair of mint shorts from my dresser, "It's not like that."

"Can you just tell me already?"

"Shorts and a tank top?" Evelyn asks, ignoring my question, "With those cute strappy sandals and matching jewelry…. Don't worry sis. I'll find all of that for you. You're going to be a MILF who dresses comfortably."

She breezes out of my closet before I can even say another word.

**Christian's family is already seated in the living room when the three of us walk downstairs. **Grace and Carrick are seated at the end of my sofa with Christian perched upon the arm rest. Across from them in my favorite arm chair is Mia, with Kate and Elliot scrunched together on the loveseat. I didn't realize Kate was going to be here. I turn to Christian and he shrugs. He leans over for a kiss and I blow him off – too exasperated with Kate's presence to care. Just because I made up with Kate doesn't mean I want to hang out with her all the freaking time.

Mia immediately takes the baby out of my arms and plants kisses on her cheeks. "Are we going "al natural" for breakfast this morning?" Mia asks, gesturing at my daughter who is only wearing her diaper.

I laugh, "Yeah…. She is a messy eater, and after brunch – she is getting her cupcake."

"Ana," Grace says warmly, "The cupcake is in the freezer – it is darling. I love that Elizabeth is going through a Minnie Mouse faze."

"Me too," I tell her, "So what does it look like?"

"It has red frosting with precious Minnie Mouse ears at the top…. Like I said, it is darling and it will look great in the pictures."

I laugh as Gail enters the room. "Brunch is ready."

As everyone piles into the dining room, I hold Christian back. "Why is Kate here?" I hiss into his ear.

I see an expression of clarity pass across his face. "That's why you were mad," he says to himself, "She is engaged to Elliot and she wanted to meet the baby. What was I supposed to say?"

"Say that your baby's mother hates her guts…."

"I thought you two made up," he interrupts me.

"That doesn't mean I want to hang out with her," I hiss back.

He sighs, "Dad doesn't want to go to the zoo anyway… maybe he can convince Elliot and Kate to drive back with him."

"Please," I say, leaving a small kiss on his cheek.

"I hate sleeping without you," he says, changing the subject, "I've missed you."

"Even when I act like a controlling bitch…."

"Controlling bitch…. Meet controlling asshole," he says with a hot gleam in his eyes.

I smirk and step on my tip toes to kiss his lips. "I guess we're perfect for each other. Let's just hope our daughter is much sweeter than pair of us."

"You two need to quit being disgusting," Elliot yells from the dining room, "Get your asses in here…."

"Grace Grey is going to slap him for that," he mutters in my ear as we walk into the dining room.

**Thankfully Brunch has gone extraordinarily well. **Grace has done nothing but pick my brain about Elizabeth. She is very curious to see how her only grandchild is developing, and I am more than happy to give her the good news.

"She seems to be crawling like a mad woman and she is so smart and her babbles seem more and more like words. It won't surprise me if she starts walking and talking ahead of schedule," Grace chirps happily.

"Yeah she has picked up Mama and Dada with no problem," I say, picking at my quiche.

"When she called me Dada for the first time, it totally shocked me. It seemed to have come out of nowhere…." Christian admits. When did she call him "Dada"? I haven't heard her call him that in front of me.

I turn to Christian, "When did that happen?"

Christian looks uncomfortable as he moves closer to me. "The night you went out with Evelyn, Reynolds… and Chris," he whispers in my ear.

"Really?" I ask in shock. I wonder why he didn't tell me about this. I can't help but smile as I see the pride in his eyes. I wonder if that was the moment he decided to go after me? No, it can't be – that's way too cheesy.

He nods, "Our girl excels at having perfect timing."

I laugh and squeeze his knee. "I guess you're right."

I look across the room and I see Kate roll her eyes at me. What the hell is she rolling her eyes for? She better realize she is in my home before I kill her. Before I have the chance to pummel Kate to the ground, Gail enters the room with Elizabeth's cupcake. The cupcake has a number nine candle stuck at the top and I can't help but laugh. You can always count on this family to think of everything.

We all sing happy birthday and Elizabeth seems to be in awe of the candle. I decide to intervene and hold it at a distance so she doesn't decide to touch the fire. As the song ends, I quickly blow out her candle and remove it from the cupcake.

Grace is in seventh heaven as Elizabeth attacks her cupcake. Mia and Grace both take picture after picture, absorbing this moment with their niece and grandchild respectively. Elizabeth loves the attention and I can tell she already has a sublime affection for her Aunt and Grandmother.

"A birthday a month is a little over the top," Kate whispers in my ear, "You don't want to spoil her."

I turn to Kate, and try to gauge her true intentions. Her face is impassive, but I know better. I hate when women do this, when they dress up their backhanded slap as an innocent suggestion, turning it into a slap in the face.

"You can make that determination when you have your own kid with Elliot…."

"RC hated birthdays…. He would have seen this as over the top."

"Well you slept with him," I hiss a little too loudly, "You would know."

The family turns to me and Kate shakes her head. "I'm marrying somebody else…" Kate says with exasperation, "Maybe you should get over the past, Ana."

It takes everything inside of me not to flip out. "That's it, birthday celebration over," I huff as I pull Elizabeth out of her high chair. The cupcake is finished so I don't feel bad for cutting this short. "I'll clean her off and put her down for a nap…. Maybe today isn't a good day for the zoo."

Before I make it to the upstairs bathroom, I hear Christian's voice piece through the awkward silence.

"Elliot…. Get Kate out of here before I lose my shit," he hisses.

Grace cuts in, "Kate… if you want to join this family – learn how to act like a lady and learn it quickly."

**Elizabeth must have had a fun morning with the family because she is as happy as a clam in the bathtub. **Evelyn assists me in silence as we clean a happy, babbling Elizabeth. I snort to myself when I realize her Aunt and her Mother are ironically the exact opposite this morning. I didn't want to talk about what happened at brunch, and Evelyn isn't talking about Reynolds so we are a perfect pair. When we finish, I wrap Elizabeth up in a towel and she cuddles adorably to my side. I am so lucky to have the perfect baby when everything else in my world is so not perfect.

Once she is dry, I place her diaper on and put her in her crib. She crashes immediately and I am free to go back into the hallway. Christian and Grace are both standing at the top of the stairs and I smile at both of them.

"She loved this morning," I murmur, "Even adult drama can't disturb the happiness of a child."

Grace nods, "That's why I love working with children."

"Are you ok?" Christian asks, "I swear, I won't invite her to anything again if she is going to act like that…. I thought you two worked things out."

"Apparently not," I mutter to myself, "I think I am going to take a nap…."

Grace nods, "Please do… and then we can figure out what we want to do when you're both up."

I nod as I grab Christian's hand. "Nap with me?" I ask.

He smiles brightly and I can't help but smile myself. "Absolutely."

I lead him to the guest bedroom and Grace and Evelyn walk downstairs. We both curl up together on the bed, my back to his front. He wraps his arms around me center and kisses my neck.

"Don't ask me why we are in the guest room," I mutter on the verge of sleep.

He snorts, "Unlike Kate, I know the appropriate time to talk about things."

I nod, satisfied by his answer. Before I fall asleep, a question enters my mind. "Did Reynolds mention breaking up with Evelyn?"

Christian shakes his head, "Did she say he broke up with her? He actually asked me to talk to her for him. She isn't returning his calls and he is frantic to speak with her. He is worried that his divorce proceedings have pushed her away."

As I drift off to sleep, I make a mental note to bring this all up with Evelyn later.


	30. Hi Pot, I don't know if you've met me,

**A/N – Thanks everyone for supporting me on me original! That's very sweet of you! The link didn't work, but look for my username (LizLemon2) on Fiction Press. I'll update again after I finish this story!**

**Thank you so much for all the feedback from the last chapter! I love hearing what you guys have to say! It helps more then you know! We're getting close to the end – I am predicting I have 2-3 chapters left of our story! **

**I don't own FSOG! **

**Chapter 30 – Hi Pot, I don't know if you've met me, but I'm a kettle** ** (*Dirty Thirty*)**

**Ana**

** I am warm, too warm. **An arm wraps around my center and I am pulled closer to a hard body, a hard body with something harder poking against my behind. I try to squirm but he just holds me tighter. I try to push, but he won't budge.

"Christian…."

"Hmmmm…."

"Baby, I wanna get up," I murmur as he kisses my forehead.

"I don't want you to get up," he murmurs into my ear as he pushes his erection harder into my behind.

"It's too soon for that," I remind him.

"Fuck Flynn," he huffs, "You were much more open for this before our session with him."

I turn around to look him in the eye. "Are you complaining about something you wanted? I agree with Flynn…. We need to wait until the right time. I am not saying no sex forever, I am just saying no sex until things with us are…. better."

He groans and I kiss him. "What would you prefer: sex right now or the new and improved version of us having sex later…. It will be so much better when we've figured some of this shit out, it will be much more intimate."

He groans again, "I guess I see your point."

I give him a sympathy kiss as I hear a knock on the door. "Come in," I say as the door swings open. Evelyn walks in with Elizabeth on her hip.

"AH," I gasp, "Give my baby to me…. I love Elizabeth when she first wakes up from her nap."

Evelyn hands her to me on the bed and huffs. "Hey…. You're welcome for helping you with my niece. I'm not your damn nanny, Ana."

I sit up with Elizabeth in my lap. "I'm sorry…. Evelyn, what is wrong?"

"Nothing," Evelyn snaps. Christian sits up too, looking as concerned as I feel.

As she turns to walk away, I grab her arm and she turns to me with a scowl still firmly planted on her face. "Can't you just tell me what is wrong? Really, Ev, this is killing me. I hate when you're upset," I plead with her, "Christian told me that Joseph didn't break up with you, but you've been ignoring his calls…."

She tears up and shakes her head. I pass the baby off to Christian and envelope Evelyn in my arms. She nuzzles into my shoulder and begins crying softly.

"Evelyn…" I ask again, "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it now," she sniffs. The expression on her face kills me. I would do anything to change that look. I don't know what is going on with her and Reynolds, but I hope Reynolds comes through for my sister. Something has obviously hurt her, and I know only Joseph can fix this.

"Will you tell me?"

She nods. "Yes…. Just give me some time."

"Ok," I say, taking her head in my hands, "I love you. And I am sorry if I ever abuse our relationship."

"No, no, no," she says, adamantly shaking her head, "I was just being a bitch… I love living with you two."

"You sure?" I ask.

She smacks my butt, "Yep… now let's go. This baby wants to go to the zoo…. And don't you two have a date later….?"

She walks out the room, and I turn to Christian. "I don't know you're sister too well," Christian begins, "But I have a feeling she is rarely like that."

"You are correct," I tell him as I lean over to kiss Elizabeth's cheek. She squirms and reaches for my nose. "What did he do to her?"

He shrugs, "It has to be the divorce proceedings. Eryn's lawyers are getting nasty with the name calling and the blame. It's driving Joseph insane. It is so damn obvious that he is head over heels, he was never like this with Eryn – even during their good times, and this separation she has caused is killing him."

"Well, maybe she needs time," I counter back, "Maybe she needs space from the situation to just be."

"Maybe she needs a man who loves her, and maybe she needs to stop being so damn scared and maybe she needs to trust him," he fires back.

"Well maybe she doesn't trust him anymore…."

A chill falls over the room, and I try my best to stay upright. The double meaning of our argument is not lost on me, and it is certainly not lost on Christian. He is frozen in the middle of the bed, our daughter wrapped around his neck, and he looks as if I just slapped him. His expression is blank, and I see the hurt beginning to shine through. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't mean to turn Evelyn's problems into our problems.

After a few minutes of silence, I realize neither of us has said a word. "I need to get ready…" I cough out, "We need to take her to the zoo…."

He nods, his expression still blank. "Sure."

**The ride to the zoo was nothing, but awkward. **Christian won't talk to me, or even look at me. I would give anything to know what is happening in that stubborn head of his right now. Is he mad? Is he upset? Has he given up on me? Evelyn seems back to her old self and has also picked on Christian's silent and awkward nature.

"You two ok?" Evelyn asks as we stroll through the entrance.

"Yep," Christian chimes in, talking for the first time since our conversation, "We're good."

Evelyn looks at me with disbelief and shakes her head. "Are you ok?" I counter back.

Her expression hardens and I wrap my arm around hers. "No one is talking about anything, sounds healthy to me," I joke.

The owner of the Seattle Zoo greets us and escorts through part of the zoo. Christian arranged this outing so no one else would be at the zoo except for us and our security. I don't understand the need for security when no one else is here, but I decide to not question and just go with it. The zoo owner eventually leaves and we walk through the zoo quietly while baby girl thoughtfully examines all the animals.

After twenty minutes, enough is enough. "Ok baby girl," I tell her, unbuckling her from her stroller, "Time to get closer to the animals."

Christian folds up her stroller and hands it off to Sawyer. We take a swing by the monkeys, and I think this will be a perfect place for us to start. Evelyn hops over and kneels in front of Elizabeth.

"So…. I taught her something," Evelyn snickers, "Ok Elizabeth…. We're going to make a monkey noise. Say 'hoo hooo hooo hoo'…"

She looks at Evelyn curiously, and Evelyn repeats herself. "Hooo hoooo hoooo hoooo."

Christian moves to the other side of me, watching Evelyn and Elizabeth with an amused expression. I decide to help Evelyn out.

"Elizabeth….. say 'hooo hooo hoooo hoooo'."

I tickle her tummy and she finally repeats it. "Hoooo Hoooo."

"Good girl!" Evelyn and I both squeal as we leave her kisses on her cheeks.

As we walk through the Zoo, Elizabeth gets really good at making that sound. She ends up making the 'hooo hooo hooo' sound for every single animal she sees. We of course freak out every time she makes it and you can tell she loves the attention for her adorable 'hoooo' noise.

When we hit the giraffes, Christian's phone rings and he excuses himself to take it.

When he walks away, Evelyn turns to me. "What the hell is going on there?"

"You tell me first," I counter back, "I'll talk if you talk."

"Ok, seriously, not fair," she huffs, "What if I just gave you a hint."

Elizabeth is in awe of the giraffes and she cannot take her tiny little eyes off the gigantic creatures. I am surprised, I figured someone so little would be afraid of something so very tall. We move closer and she points to them and begins 'hooing' at the larger than life animal.

"Any hint would be better than nothing…."

She sighs, "His divorce is getting rough and I need a break. That's really what this boils down to. His ex-wife is a bully, and I can't deal with her shit anymore."

"He won't stay married forever."

"I just…. think I've reached my limit," she says, turning to me, "Your turn."

I sighed angrily, "Mine is harder to give hints for."

"You agreed," she says as we continue to stroll, "Give it up Steele."

"I told him that I don't trust him anymore…." I blurt out, "That is why he has been so quiet."

Her jaw drops open, "I'm surprised you FINALLY told him how you are actually feeling. I'm proud."

"It just came out of me while we were arguing about you and Joseph. I am kind of surprised that it all just bubbled over like that, but it is true. I love him, but after the Milania debacle, I don't trust him. I just don't see us getting anywhere if I can't trust him."

She nods, "He wants you, and he wants you now, but it's going to take some time before you completely trust him again."

"I don't know how long he is willing to wait," I say, feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiety fill me, "It terrifies me. From the way he has been acting this afternoon, I bet he is ready to throw in the towel on our relationship."

"You don't know that…." She tells me, "And besides…. How long did it take for you to forgive Sloane after Kate?"

"I don't know…. After some time and perspective, it made things easier….."

"Maybe that's what you need… more time and more perspective," Evelyn points out, "I know timing is an issue for him, but if you two have made it this far…"

"He chose her over me," I murmur to myself, "He chose to let me go in order to give her what she needed. Sloane lied, but Christian left me…. And he could do it again….I don't know how to just get over that."

"We are talking in circles… Just shut up and enjoy this day…." Evelyn says, holding on to me tighter, "If you think he is going to leave you, after everything, then you're dumber than I ever imagined."

"Hey," I hear Christian behind us, "What have I missed?"

Evelyn snickers to herself, and continues walking the other direction. Christian looks to me for answers, but I just shake my head, hoping he doesn't press the issue any further.

**After hours of walking around the zoo, Elizabeth is finally out for the count. **Today was too hot for a zoo trip, and I am anxious to get Elizabeth home and in her crib for nap number two. Christian still isn't speaking much, but he doesn't look as hurt or upset as he did earlier today. We need to have a serious conversation about everything, and we can't have this conversation if he is going to shut down on me.

When we pull up to the driveway, I see a red Audi sports car parked up front. When I see Joseph sitting on the front steps, I immediately turn to Evelyn. She is scowling at Christian, and I know this is not going to end well.

"Did you call him?" she snaps at Christian.

"Yes I did…. Well he called me back after I called him first."

"Why?" she blurts out angrily.

"Because… the women in this family have a problem with communicating and we are both sick of it," he says, turning to Evelyn, "That man loves you Evelyn. I have never seen him that much in love with somebody, and I'll be damned if he loses you over something stupid like his ex-wife."

He turns to me, fire evident in his grey eyes. "And you…. You and I are going to go upstairs and talk this through. I get it, you don't trust me. I've made some asinine decisions, and I may not deserve your trust yet. But I'll be damned if this ends us because Anastasia Steele – I love you, and I am never going to stop. So fuck it, you and I are going to go upstairs and fight until this is figured out."

He gets out of the SUV, opens the door, and unhooks a sleeping Elizabeth from her car seat. Once she is securely in his arms – he slams the door, he walks up to the path to my front door, nods to Reynolds, and goes inside.

I am left with my sister and I turn to gauge her feelings. She is playing with her fingers, her telltale sign of anxiety, and doing everything she can to not look outside at Reynolds. I grab her hands and her eyes shoot to mine.

"I am not going inside until you start talking to him."

She nods and finally looks outside at her estranged boyfriend. He is standing and is staring intently at the SUV. I almost forgot how gorgeous he is. He's sexy as hell, and has the rugged masculinity that only a thirty-seven year old CEO could pull off. Basically he is Christian, but about seven years older. She takes in a deep breath and a single tear rolls down her cheek.

"Ana…." She sobs, looking at me anxiously, "I'm pregnant."

"What?" I gasp, "Evelyn…."

"Eryn's lawyers keep saying I want Joseph and his money for selfish reasons. They even went so far as to say that if I wasn't in the picture, Eryn and Joseph could fix their problems and live happily ever after. Eryn keeps saying that he'll drop me like he dropped her. Now that I am pregnant, they're going to be even more ruthless….. I can't deal with that. I want my baby to be happy and normal…."

I crawl across the seats and hold her head in my hands. "And your baby will be…. He loves you and Eryn is just hurt because he doesn't love her anymore. Once this is over…. You won't have to deal with it. Let Reynolds protect you."

"We've only been dating for six months," she huffs, tears still rolling, "I am having a baby with a man I have known for six months."

"You love each other," I tell her, "When you love somebody, time and whatever other bullshit means nothing."

"Wow…. Hi Pot, I don't know if you've met me, but I'm a kettle," she snorts. She finally smiles, and I lightly smack her arm.

"Go talk to Christian," she tells me.

"Go talk to Reynolds."

We both squeeze each other and then exit the SUV at the same time. We walk around the corner and Joseph stands up. Evelyn wipes a few tears away, detaching herself from me in the process. I walk through them and give her an encouraging nod.

"These past few days have been hell," Reynolds tells her before I walk into the house, "Please, I don't know what I did or what Eryn did…. But don't leave me. Give me another chance."

I am reassured by Reynolds's groveling so I take a step inside. I walk up my stairs and mentally prepare myself for what is about to happen.


	31. Evelyn and Joseph

**A/N1 – I don't own FSOG. **

**Chapter 31 – Evelyn and Reynolds**

**Evelyn **

** Ana closes the door, and I am left in the silence of the afternoon with Joseph. **He looks good. He's wearing his ripped jeans that make him look thirty instead of almost thirty eight. His muscles are easily seen through his blue button up, and I would give anything to rip off that shirt and lick up and down his toned and tanned body. I'm almost afraid to sit next to him. My attraction to this man makes it hard for me to focus…. And I need to focus right now.

I take a seat next to him and grab his knee. "What happened?" he asks; his voice soft but strong. "Whenever you go radio silent on me, I know it's bad…."

I lean into his shoulder. "I needed a break from the drama."

He looks over at me, his eyes filled with anxiety. "I'm nervous Ev…. Fuck, I'm terrified."

"Why?"

"Because I don't see this going away, Eryn and her legal bozos are confident in their abilities to stretch this process along. It's driving me up the fucking wall," he tells me honestly, pushing his long fingers through his hair, "I can't control any of this. They're going to say what they want and do what they please – no matter who they hurt. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am dying for them to move it along, but everything seems to be against me Ev…. Everything…. And now it seems that I've lost you and…."

"I'm pregnant," I blurt out.

I hear the breath leave his lungs and I see his jaw drop. "What?"

"I'm pregnant…. It's yours," I babble, "I'm sorry for ignoring your calls…. I just needed time. With all the drama surrounding your divorce then finding out that I am pregnant on top of it, I just snapped. I know they'll use this as ammunition. I can see Eryn now – "He got his little slut girlfriend pregnant while still being legally married to me…. Poor me."

Before I can say another word about Eryn's reign of terror, Joseph's mouth is on me. He is caressing my face and holding me tightly against his strong body while kissing me with the intense heat that I have been missing. His kiss is such a shock that it takes me a minute before I begin kissing back with equal fervor. His tongue eventually fights its way into my mouth and he is suddenly leaning me back onto the patio, his body covering mine completely. I am lost in him, and I can barely remember what we are talking about.

"Joseph," I plead into his mouth, "Baby…"

He finally pulls away and we are both panting. "Eryn didn't want kids," he murmurs, his eyes full of emotion, "I have always wanted to be a father but I put that aside for her."

"Really?"

"Really?" he begins, "No one has made me this happy in my entire fucking life."

"Really?" I ask again. Tears are rushing down my face.

He wipes them away and nods. "I will rush our divorce proceedings along, and I will keep you away from her. Then once this is over, you and I are moving in together and we're going to be a family…."

I take in a deep breath, "No words have ever sounded so good…"

He kisses me again and I feel content. Once all of this bullshit with Eryn is figured out, I get my prince, I get my baby, and I get my happy ever after. I've never been happier. I wrap my body around his and he kisses me several more times.

The door suddenly swings opens and Christian and Ana step through. They look down at us, and carefully step around our joined limbs. Ana looks over and smirks.

"Everything ok?"

I nod, "Everything is great." Ana's smile brightens as they make their way closer to the SUV. "Wait…. Where are you guys going?"

"On a quick trip," Christian tells me, "Can you two wait in the house while we go?"

"Of course," I volunteer as I feel Joseph's shoulders slump next to me. I turn to look at him and he shakes his head. I know he wanted "makeup/ you've made me a father" sex, but it will need to wait until we're completely alone. I kiss his temple and he groans with frustration.

"No makeup sex in the house Reynolds," Christian warns, "My daughter is sleeping in there."

"One of these days, Grey, you're going to babysit my kid when you want to have makeup sex with Ana…."

Christian's eyes bug out, and he turns to Ana. His jaw drops to the floor and I suddenly feel really bad that Christian is the last to know. Ana pats him on the back and she leads him to the car.

"I'll tell you more in the car…." She tells him as they get in the car. Ana waves and seconds later, they are gone. I am dying to know where they are going or how long they will be. Joseph helps me up and we walk back into the house. A baby monitor is lying on the coffee table and he wraps his arms around me.

"This is going to be our life in nine months," I tell him as he kisses my ear.

"God, I never expected you to be pregnant…"

"What were you expecting when you showed up here?"

He snorts, "Not that. I thought you were going to leave me." He looks at me sadly and I caress his unshaven face. He kisses me softly and then lowers me down on the couch and covers his massive body over mine.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he nuzzles my neck.

"Elizabeth will never know what's going on," he says mischievously, swatting the air with indifference. He begins working his lips up my neck and I give myself over to the feel of his lips. I've fucking missed him.

"Christian said…"

"Do not bring up Christian right now," he barks adorably, "You're going to completely kill this for me."

I giggle and he smirks. "Sorry baby…"

Joseph's cell phone rings and he groans. He stands up, pulls the phone out of his pocket, and groans even louder when he sees who is calling him.

"What, Grey?" he snaps at Christian. He stays quiet, shaking his head and huffs adorably. "Grey, I am not going to have sex with her while your daughter is sleeping…."

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman…." I mock.

He snorts, but places a finger to my lips. "God, just go do what you were going to do with her and quit bothering with me….. no, I am not going to have sex with Evelyn while we are babysitting your kid."

He hangs up the phone and sits down. I caress his face and he leans into my touch. "When we leave here, you can have me on every space in your apartment…."

He smiles deviously and leans over to kiss my temple. "God, I love you."

**A/N2 – The reason this is so short is because I need a consensus on a question that has been burning my brain! Once I wrap up Ana and Christian's story, I am going to work on my original, but while I am doing that - I want to begin Evelyn and Reynolds's story. It would start from the beginning and then on to the future with their child. Ana and Christian will play a role, and you'll see the continuation of them too through Evelyn and Joseph's eyes. Please let me know what you think!**

**I apologize for the shortness. Next chapter will be my last for Ana and Christian and it will be much longer than this one. THANKS!**


	32. Solution Based Therapy

**A/N – Ok. Wow. I apologize for my diva fit. I will admit that I should have handled myself better, and I am sorry for stirring shit. I am really bad about letting things bottle up and then watching it explode. I hate that about myself. I am back and please don't hate me. Lol. Thank you for those of you who took the time out of your lives to bring positivity – thank you for that….. I definitely appreciate it. Thank you to those who discussed a lot of this through with me – you all are gems. **

**I am not disclosing any of my distant plans right now. Apparently that gets me in trouble/gets thrown back in my face so right now I will remain silent. **

**I will tell you that I am doing at least one more chapter in Ana and Christian's POV. I like how this ends, but I think the next chapter will be a good companion to this one. Considering everything – I am still unsure about continuing past that with Evelyn and Joseph's POV…. I don't have anything planned past the next chapter. **

**Just enjoy and let me know what you think (and after everything – I still mean that. Lol). I don't own FSOG. **

**Chapter 32 – Solution Based Therapy **

**Ana**

** I walk upstairs, and nervously grab for knob. **I take in a deep breathand open the door to my guest room. I walk in and close the door behind me, focusing all of my energy on Christian. He is seated on the window sill, gazing intently on me.

"So you don't trust me anymore…." He says softly. It is time to really get down to our major issues. I hope I can make it through this. I hope this conversation doesn't break us further.

I take in a shallow breath. "You wanted me to talk and you wanted me to be honest with you."

He nods, "And I am glad you were…. Why don't you trust me?"

I walk over to the bed and take a seat. "Let's go back to the past for a second," I begin, "I was in hell over the whole Milania situation, and I pleaded with you to end it. You told me you would and then you went back on your word…."

He nods, looking at the floor. "I know…"

"You didn't have to release me like you did," I tell him honestly, "If you united with me from the start and stood with me while we dealt with her bullshit… we wouldn't have ended like that. I can't fight for a relationship when the other half doesn't want to fight with me…."

He nods intently, eyes stuck to the opposite end of the room. We sit in silence for a while longer, and I feel my anxiety creep up and down my spine. "Why did you marry him?" he asks suddenly, breaking through the silence.

"What?" I ask, shocked by the sudden change of topic.

"You married him," he says again, this time looking me in the eye, "Why?"

I have no good explanation for my quickie marriage to Sloane; no words seem adequate in this moment. I wanted to make it happen when I found out I was pregnant and RC agreed. I see pain and hurt in Christian's expression, and I hate myself so much for it.

"Out of everything," he continues, "That killed me the most. I've been hurt by a lot – the kiss in the hot tub, the lies about the baby… but that," he takes in a deep breath, "killed me the most."

"I was pregnant and scared."

"Why were you scared?" he asks, his voice still terrifyingly soft. I want to hold him. It kills me that I can't, but I keep our space. He needs to be able to have his time to talk without my interference.

"I didn't know how you felt about me, and I didn't want to be a second priority for you," I tell him honestly, "You put me in that place once…. What's to say you wouldn't do it again?"

"God," he breathes, "You meant everything to me and you still mean everything to me. I took care of Milania so _OF COURSE_ I would take care of you too. There is no question – there is nothing."

"I didn't want to be an obligation, I wanted to be first to you…," I practically whimper, "I wanted you to love me. I wanted to be a family, and after all the girls you had in and out of your bedroom…. I wasn't sure where we stood. As wrong and twisted as it sounds, RC loved me, I loved him and he wanted to be there for me. He wanted me no matter the fucked up state I was in…"

He takes in a deep breath, and begins pacing across the room. "Do you hate me…?" I ask after a moment, "I mean, I lied to you about your daughter and you have yet to pounce on me for it."

He snorts, "At first, I wanted to…. Badly. Then…. I kept thinking about the night I went to the hospital, and you were torn apart, and completely devastated. Even if you were the biggest bitch on the face of the planet…. I couldn't add to your hurt. I couldn't add to your pain." He shakes his head and smiles sadly, "Maybe I have a heart after all."

I snort, "Of course you have a heart…. You are perfect with our daughter." I see the tears begin to build around his eyes and I feel guilt stab through my body. I am the heartless one in this relationship.

"God, sometimes I think…., what if you never told me. What if I lived my life never knowing her…?"

Tears fill to the brim and I shake my head. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey," he says, grasping my face in his hands, "It's ok. It's ok."

I push my body into his and he holds me tight. "I'm sorry." It will never be enough. "I am so heartless."

"Don't fucking say that…. And enough with the sorrys," he whispers, "We can talk more about this with Flynn…."

"Christian," I sob, feeling months of frustration and pain boil to the surface, "I wish I could be perfect for you – that's what you deserve. You're so good, and I am this shell. I wish I could snap my fingers and be the perfect woman for you, but I can't right now… I want to so badly, but I just fucking cant. It is so frustrating."

He grabs my face and wipes away my streams of tears. "It's ok – I get it. You still need time…. listen, I think I have something that could help us put things into perspective. I have something I want to show you."

I look up at him nervously as my breathing evens out. "What do you need to show me?" What is he talking about?

"I'll explain when we get there…." He tells me, "Keep an open mind?"

He lifts me out of the room and I turn my head to where Elizabeth is sleeping. "I will, but what about our daughter?"

"Those two on the porch can watch her," he tells me with a smirk. We make it to the door, and Christian swings it forward. I see two sets of limbs wrapped around each other and they quickly separate when we walk through, looks like all is well with my sister and her baby daddy.

Christian leads me through and I turn around and look at the two reunited lovebirds. "Everything ok?" I ask them.

Evelyn nods adamantly, smile spread across her face. "Everything is great." Christian grabs my hand and we walk closer to the SUV. Evelyn's voice suddenly breaks through, "Wait…. Where are you guys going?"

"On a quick trip," Christian tells them, "Can you two wait in the house while we go?"

"Of course," Evelyn volunteers. I see Joseph's shoulders slump, and I know he didn't want to sign up for childcare duty today. He better get used to it, this will be his life very soon. Evelyn kisses him sweetly and I see his frustration quickly dissipate. She is tiny and fragile, and Joseph is large and overpowering. Whenever she deals with him, it reminds me of a small cub calming down a ferocious lion. It's quite adorable.

"No makeup sex in the house Reynolds," Christian warns, "My daughter is sleeping in there."

"One of these days, Grey, you're going to babysit my kid when you want to have makeup sex with Ana…."

Christian stops and his jaw drops. I see the shock cross his face, and I want to hug Christian right now. I probably should have told him about Evelyn before Joseph spilled the beans. I lead him to the car and pat him on the back. He is really freaking out, and I am touched. He really cares about my sister, and that pleases me greatly.

"I tell you more in the car," I tell him as we get into the SUV. He starts the car, and takes a look back at my sister and his friend.

"They're having a baby?"

I nod, "Yep… Our girl is going to have a cousin."

He smiles, "Wow." We sit in silence as he pulls away from the house and turns to the highway. "Wait…" he blurts out. I see the cogs turning and I know he is thinking hard about their situation. "Is the baby why she wouldn't take his calls…."

"Yeah," I admit, "There is a little more to it than that, but yeah…. That was probably at the root."

"You two have pregnancy fright…." He snorts, "When you get pregnant you stop talking to people…. You really need to quit that."

I really can't argue with him. He takes in my stoic reaction and squeezes my knee. I sit in silence, wondering where the hell he is taking me.

"Where are we going?"

"I tell you soon…."

I groan and he just smiles. "Trust me. Just trust me."

"Alright," I agree.

"Oh shit," he says, reaching for his phone, "I want to call Reynolds…. He's probably trying to sex up your sister in the home where my daughter is sleeping. Not on my watch asshole…"

I snicker for the first time since our talk as he makes the call.

**After forty five minutes of driving, Christian finally pulls up to a gate. **We've been driving on a strange road for a while, and I have no idea where we could possibly be. I feel like we're not even in Seattle anymore. We could very well be in Oregon by now. He presses in a code and the gate doors swing open. He drives through and we are greeted by a field of expansive green grass and a few trucks. He stops the car and turns to me.

"Ok…. so, Flynn has begun this form of therapy with me… and it has helped so far. It's called Solution Based Therapy," he says, hands shaking, "And the general idea is that you look toward the future, have a goal in mind, and follow the steps it takes to get there."

I nod, understanding what he is saying so far. He exits the car, and I follow his lead. He grabs my hand and we walk down the small road, leading to the random trucks spread across the grass.

"What is all this?"

"All of this…." He says, motioning around him, "Is my solution." I still don't understand what he means. What solution could be solved in a field of grass?

"A yard full of grass?"

He laughs, shaking his head. "Ana…. I am building us a house."

A house…. For us? "I… what…. When?"

He laughs at my confused state. "Baby… I am building us a house because we all need to move on. Whenever I stand in the house you live in now, I remember Sloane and while I don't think it is appropriate for me to ask you to forget him…. He brings up bad shit for me. I want us to have a fresh start. Here."

I understand what he means, and this is all finally coming together for me. "Here," I repeat.

He takes in a deep breath and goes for his left pocket. He pulls out a box and I feel my jaw drop. "Christian…." I breathe, "It's too soon…."

"I know, I know," he says adamantly, "I am not here to propose…. I am here to show you my solution… what I want with you." He leads me closer to where the trucks are located and I quickly realize that they are set in somewhat of a rectangular shape. "I am going to build this house for us… and then when we're ready, I want to marry you. I want more kids with you. I want a life with you. I want to grow old with you."

I take in a deep breath and absorb all of this. As I am having my moment to think, he leads me around. "This is going to be the family room…." He murmurs in my ear, "On the opposite end of the house will be our room…. And I want Elizabeth's room right next to ours."

I wipe stray tears away and laugh through my sobbing. I didn't even realize I was crying until now. "Why will she be next to us?"

He wipes a few more of my tears away and caresses my face. "I want to watch her of course."

"Watch her?" I laugh. This is such a Christian move.

"I don't want any funny business happening when she gets older…. I want her to know from the beginning that Daddy is watching her."

I burst into a fit of sobs and he holds me tight. This is beyond perfect. "I love it," I sob as he reins kisses across the top of my head.

"So…" he says into my ear, "I want to throw everything out… all the lying…. All the anger…. All the exes…. Every fucking thing that could get in our way and I want to start over with one goal in mind…. This. Our life together." I take a moment to look around, absorbing my possible future. "But I need to know Ana…. Do you want to do this with me? I can take your neurotic bullshit if I know we're headed down the same path… together, and I want the same from you."

He opens the ring as I walk around our land, Christian must be giving me the full affect. I can't believe this. This is a dream. I take a look back at Christian and I feel… whole. In this moment, I come to the easiest decision I have ever made. No looking back, no regrets.


	33. It is real and legit

Hey Everyone – I think since I had a chapter 32 and then deleted it, you won't get a second email about Chapter 32. So here you go – chapter 32 is up. Sorry for constantly bothering you with fake chapters. Chapter 32 is up and legit. ENJOY!


	34. One Year and Three Months Later

**A/N – Thank you so much for the response from the last chapter and I am excited for this new one! I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter…. I hope you like it too. There will be one after it! **

**BTW - Since I got all of my chapter numbering messed up, I am just keeping it like this. Sorry for any confusion. **

**I don't own FSOG. We will be jumping a year and three months ahead in time. **

**Chapter 34 – One Year and Three Months Later**

**Ana**

** I hear the pattering of feet down the hall, and I know it will be only a matter of time.** I suck in my breath. I don't know why I find this necessary; she's just going to find her way in our bed anyway.I turn to Christian and I see that he is awake too, not moving a muscle. He is smirking, and I realize he is doing exactly what I am doing. I want to laugh at how ridiculous we're being; Elizabeth always wins.

"She's up," Christian hisses at me.

"I knew we shouldn't have bought that weak ass bed," I hiss back. She always gets out of that bed. What am I saying, she is two; she gets out of every bed.

"DAD-DY," she sings happily, "MOM-MY up!"

"Stay still," Christian mouths at me with smirk. I nod, enjoying this little game. I hear the door creak open, and my little girl slide into the room. She jumps on the bed and begins crawling over our sprawled limbs. 

"Whatchu doin?" she asks. I see her little pout between the slivers of my barely open eyes and I can't help but smile. In a matter of seconds, Christian is going to pounce and she is going to freak out.

"Mooommmmyyy…. Daddddyy…. It my birfday…. Up!" After a few more seconds of silence, Christian whips around and grabs our little girl. He picks her up and she begins giggling hysterically. He showers her with tickles and kisses and she squeals with delight.

"Is it your birthday, baby girl?" I ask as Christian and I leave her kisses.

"Yes it is," she replies confidently.

"I cannot believe my baby is two," Christian wines adorably. She scrunches her nose and I know she is offended by being called a baby. _Oh, my defiant little girl._

"Ok honey," I say, trying hard not to call her baby, "We need to get you dressed and ready…. Your grandparents are going to start showing up, and Aunt Mia and Uncle Elliot and Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Reynolds and your cousin Scarlett."

"We go to beach?" she asks me.

"Yes…. I didn't bring all of those bathing suits for nothing," I huff as I pick her up.

"Gail should be downstairs by now," Christian says as he rolls over, "You two have fun getting ready."

"Daddy!" Elizabeth commands, "BREFAST"

Christian laughs and I shake my head at him. "Like Father like daughter…." I snort, "Get your b-u-t-t downstairs or deal with the wrath of your daughter."

"I'm up," he says as he scatters to the bathroom. While he begins getting ready, I shuffle to Elizabeth's room and pull out her suitcase.

My daughter is two today, and we decided we didn't want an elaborate, over the top, "hey inferior Moms – look at me" kind of party. When you're Christian Grey's baby Mama, the competition is nauseating, and I didn't want Elizabeth's second year of birth celebration to be marred with bitch ass mothers. I pleaded with Christian for something different - no family, no distractions, all beach, and just us. He agreed to the trip under one stipulation – damn Christian and his (hot) manipulative ways.

Unfortunately, we weren't able to get away with no family involvement. Grace got wind of our trip and invited everyone out to Malibu. She gave me a "sorry I'm not sorry" and said she'd be at her granddaughter's birthday come hell or high water. Christian has plenty of room, and they'll be here within the next couple of hours.

"I wanna wear my suit Mommy…."

I snort, "No baby, we have to wait till after breakfast."

She gives me a full Christian Grey pout and I can't help but shake my head. She balls up her little fists and I know she is about to throw a tantrum. I know some kids have the terrible twos, but my daughter falls under a different category of tantrum. She goes into Defcon 1 when she doesn't get her way. I sigh contently, like father like daughter.

"No arguments little lady," I tell her as I swing her into my arms. I have her dressed in a shirt and shorts, something I can easily convert to a swim suit later. I walk downstairs and as Christian predicted, Gail has already begun breakfast.

"Gawle, is my birfday," Elizabeth says in her greeting of Gail.

Gail gasps over dramatically, "It is? Well thank goodness because I made chocolate chip pancakes today …. Good thing that is my favorite two year old's most beloved meal."

Elizabeth beams with happiness as I put her in her seat at the table. Gail begins serving up the goods as Christian walks down the stairs. He is wearing his swim trunks with no shirt. It took him that long to not put on a shirt? I am lost in the trance of his perfect abdominals as he leans over to kiss me.

"You like what you see Miss Steele?"

"mmmmHmmmm," I say as he smirks.

"Mr. Grey, honestly," Gail admonishes him, "Put on a shirt. This is breakfast with your family."

He grabs my hand and a sour look spreads across his face. "I'll go find a shirt…. And Miss Steele's engagement ring…."

Shit! "I'm sorry baby, I got distracted," I say as I move up to kiss his pout, "Won't happen again."

"You're d-a-m-n right it won't happen again," Christian huffs as he stomps off, "Because I am melding that thing to your d-a-m-n hand."

We got engaged ten months ago. It was a long process, but in the end –it worked for us. Since our decision to move forward together, I wouldn't say things got simpler, life is never simple. Things in our life seemed to be "freer". We could make mistakes in front of each other, and deal with the shit from our past without feeling like the other would stomp out of the room and leave the other in a panic. We stopped running away like kids, and started talking and working together like adults. We figured out quickly that if we worked at this together, we could move forward in a much healthier fashion.

I wasn't sure when exactly Christian was going to ask me. I felt we were in a good place after six months. I thought he would beg for us to get engaged much earlier than that, but surprisingly he didn't. Around month seven, I realized his game. He was wearing me down, and playing his hot mind games. He enjoyed driving me crazy, and he enjoyed keeping me on the edge of my seat. I thought he would want us married as fast as possible, this is Christian Grey after all, but me being locked in his stalemate of wonder was probably very entertaining for him and insured that I was stuck in his trance before he eventually did propose. Also – "angry, propose to me please" sex is fucking phenomenal. The bastard.

Despite Christian's mind games, the proposal was perfect. It wasn't the type of engagement you would expect from Christian Grey. It was spontaneous, and sweet, and heartfelt, and exactly the way I wanted Christian to propose to me.

**Ten Months Earlier **

** "Meet me outside the Seattle Public library," I hear a frantic voice on the other end.**

"Excuse me?" I ask him, "Baby, are you ok?"

"Yes…" he breathes, "Taylor should be waiting outside in the SUV. He will drive you."

I open the blinds and see the SUV through the rain. "Christian… it is raining."

"That's why you aren't driving," he tells me, "Get downstairs. Now. I need to see you."

"Fine…." I say, packing up my belongings.

"And don't run in the rain…." He groans, "I don't want you to break your neck."

"Christian…." I admonish him, "I can run in the rain."

"What shoes are you wearing?" he asks. He saw me out of the house this morning; he knows exactly what I was wearing.

"Shut up."

"Don't run in the rain baby…." he tells me smugly, "I'll see you soon."

I make my way down the stairs. I don't listen and scoot my way through the rain to get to the SUV. Even while it is raining, Taylor gets out to open the door for me. I climb inside and Taylor starts the car. Once he takes off into a rainy downtown Seattle, I realize something. After all the waiting and teasing…. Today is the day. There is no other explanation for Christian's behavior. Our first "friend date" was at the Seattle Public Library – all of this is intentional. I hug myself and sigh with glee. This is it.

_******** I wrote this section with Stand By Me by the Drifters playing. I know it doesn't fit completely, but it works. **___

**"Miss Steele… Because of the intense rain, Mr. Grey has asked me to turn around and take you home…" Taylor announces as he finishes his phone call. **

He is not doing this, especially after all of his teasing. No, this is happening here and now. No more waiting, I am going to get my man. Who cares about a little rain, this is Seattle for Pete's sake. "Is he still in there?" I ask.

"Yes ma'am," he says as I open the door, "Miss Steele wait…."

I jump out of the van, leaving a screaming Taylor in my dust. The rain is heavy and trying to navigate through it is tough. I know he is on the other side of this rain, I just know it.

"Stop running in the rain!" I hear him scream through the sound of the rain, "You weren't supposed to get out of the mother fucking car!"

I finally see him, his coat is pulled over his head and he is squinting. We move closer together, feeling the always present electricity shoot between us. "Were you going to propose to me here? Is that why you had me come to where we had our first date," I say when he is close enough to hear over the rain, "Please… you're killing me."

He huffs in exasperation. It's so cute and I can't help but smile. "I have flowers and candles at the house," he yells, "This was just supposed to be a reminder…"

With the rain pouring down our backs, and nothing but us in the middle of the sidewalk – I kiss him. I kiss him hard and throw my body around his, silently imploring him to do this now. I want to do this our way because I know he would prefer that too.

He sighs heavily and drops to his knee. My heart jumps to my throat and I try my hardest not to cry. He reaches inside of his jacket and pulls out the box. I take in a deep breath and he looks up and smiles at me with that smile, that fucking smile of his that if I wasn't being proposed to, would cause me to fall straight to my knees.

"Anastasia Rose Steele…. I have been through hell and back with you, and I can't wait to finally be your husband."

"You waited four months…." I tell him.

"For the love of Pete, woman, will you just let me fucking propose to you."

"Sorry," I say shaking my head. I really am ruining this.

"I waited four months to really make sure I wasn't being an insensitive asshole," he explains, "I wanted to give you your time. I love you, and I'd wait a million fucking years for you…. Marry me, please."

I nod as he pops the ring box open and slides the ring on my finger. "Yes," I choke out, "Yes. Good Lord, yes." He stands up and we immediately wrap ourselves around each other. Our cold and wet mouths mash together and I try to get myself as close to him as humanly possible. The rain is pouring down our backs, I am freezing, I am jumbled up with the last person I was supposed to fall in love with, and we're finally doing this. I don't think my world could get any better.

**Present Time**

** Christian slips my ring back on my finger and leans down for a kiss. **I notice he also found a shirt…. Damn.

"Do not take this off again," he warns.

"Sorry… I blame your daughter," I tell him against his lips. I kiss him again and he just shakes his head at me.

"That's not fair," he snorts, "Elizabeth, say 'Don't blame me, Mommy'"

My two year old jerks her head away from Christian to look at me. "Don bwame me Mom-my!"

"Oh my gosh…," I laugh, "You better save that for when you're a little older and have more siblings."

Christian spins around, stopping to meet my eye line. I shake my head at him. It was one sentence that blew up in his head in a matter of seconds.

"I am not saying now Christian," I joke, "I cannot have another baby out of wedlock…. What will the church elders say?"

Gail snickers with me as he finally takes a seat next to me at the breakfast table. "Elizabeth," Christian pouts, "Mommy is being mean to Daddy."

Gail bursts into laughter along with me. He is being ridiculous. He is also being very playful this morning, and I love playful Christian - way too damn much. I thought he would be too absorbed with missing work while he is on vacation with us, but it seems that this little getaway is having the opposite effect on my hot CEO fiancé.

"Daddy needs to man up," I snort.

Elizabeth smiles, contently eating her breakfast, "Momma… be nice to Daddy." Christian trained her to say that when she first started talking in small sentences.

"Yeah…. Be nice to Daddy," Christian repeats.

"Ok seriously… both of you need to eat. I want to get to the beach today, and then our families are on their way, we need to be ready for them," I announce.

"Remember," he tells me, "Do not bring up Kate to Elliot."

I take in a deep cleansing breath as my mind remembers the cluster fuck that is Elliot Grey and Kate Kavanagh. To keep it simple – they got married. She continued to be a bitch to me and everyone. Elliot cheated on her with a Bunny Ranch prostitute, I shit you not, and now they're divorced. You know what they say, Karma is a bitch.

"I'd rather not talk about her anyway…."

"Good," Christian nods. He turns to Elizabeth and examines her meal. She seems to be done and so he nods at Gail. "Can you bathe the baby…"

"I not a baby," Elizabeth protests.

"Sorry," Christian corrects himself, "My big two year old needs the syrup cleaned off her before she heads out to go swimming…. And I have something of serious importance to discuss with Miss Steele."

"Oh right, I almost forgot," Gail says as she winks at me, "Come on baby girl…. Time for a quick bath before we go to the ocean."

She willingly goes to Gail, leaving me with Christian. He squeezes my hand and nods. "At 12:01… after Elizabeth's birthday is done. Change into the dress I brought and then you're going to get in the SUV with your sister and parents… "

"Are we still doing this…?"

His smile widens, "Oh baby…. we're still doing this."

"I thought we were going to do this without their interference," I remind him, "That changed when our families decided to crash our vacation."

He smiles mischievously. "They won't know."

"We're surprising our families with a wedding?"

He nods, "Yep."

"What about Elizabeth?" I ask, "12:01…. We can't wake her up at 12:01…. It will ruin her sleep schedule."

He huffs, "Anastasia Steele…. Marry me at 12:01."

"Why don't we just get married during the day…."

"No," he shakes his head with a grunt, "Non-negotiable."

"Just tell me why we're disrupting our two year olds sleep schedule so we can get married at 12:01 tomorrow…."

"Because I want it as close as we can get it to her actual birthday," he blurts, "We have to get it as close as we can to her actual birthday…"

"Why?" I ask, still confused.

"Because I wasn't there when she was born," he yells back, "And I need this. I want as many good memories on and around her birthday as we can get…."

My heart falls. This is all starting to make sense. I feel horrible. I don't think I'll ever be able to erase the guilt of Christian not being there when Elizabeth was born. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry…."

He shakes his head, "Don't feel sorry for me. We can't go back into the past to change stuff, so I want to make things good now…. it just seems right to make her birthday and our anniversary close in time and date."

The logic behind the gestured is a little flawed, but if it makes him feel better about not being able to be there when she was born – who am I to take this away from him? I was the reason he wasn't there in the first place.

"Ana," he pleads, "Please."

I nod as I lean over for a kiss. "Ok… 12:01…. We're getting married."

"Good…." He says with a smirk, "Don't tell your family."

Surprising a wedding on our families.…. _Oh, this is going to be interesting._


	35. Finale Part One

**A/N – Wow! 200+ favorites and 400+ followers! Thanks guys! You're the best! Thank you so much for all of your support! I really appreciate it!**

**I kind of want to keep the party going so this is going to be a two part chapter…. so we still have one more chapter left! YAY! Lol. ENJOY! I am still trying to figure out if I actually want to go forward with Reynolds and Evelyn after all that…. We shall see.**

**I don't own FSOG **

**Chapter 35 – Finale (Part One)**

**Ana**

** "Miss Steele," Gail says to me with a smile, "I appreciate your help getting the house cleaned p, but please…. Go outside. Enjoy your family."**

I turn towards the backdoor and see the sweetest sight. Christian is standing in the water with Elizabeth in his arms. He is testing the waters, seeing what Elizabeth will love and what might possibly freak her out. Of course, he is being way too overprotective. Our daughter is quite the tough little lady, and I can see her for the rest of our lives pushing boundaries further – the perfect personality to have under Christian Grey's roof.

"You two have had a rough road," Gail nods, "But I don't think I've seen him happier… I don't think I've seen you happier…"

"I really was a mess…"

"Oh dear, I don't mean to be rude, but that is the understatement of the century…."

I take in a deep breath, trying to curtail the happy tears that threaten to overwhelm me. I continue to watch them. She is melded to his side as he leads her through the water. She trusts him completely and it is such a sweet sight to behold. My heart is melting all over the place, and I have to get out there.

"I'll send your family out to the back when they get here…." Gail tells me with a hand squeeze.

I walk forward, and out the back door. I can hear Elizabeth's delighted squeals and I rush to join my family. I throw off my cover up and quickly make my way down closer into the water. Christian turns when I get closer and I see him move his approving glare up and down my body. I have on a really small yellow two piece swim suit, and I am not sure if he'll approve of my beach attire.

"If we weren't on a private beach, you'd be changing…."

"Kiss me," I tell him.

A wave hits our legs and Christian moves forward and kisses me on the lips. He keeps it chaste because of our audience, but it is still one of the best damn kisses I have ever had. When he pulls back he kisses my forehead and moves his lips to my ear.

"I don't know what I did to get so damned lucky… but baby, I love you so much. I am never letting you go again."

I hold back a sob, "It wasn't luck… you fought for me… and I've never felt more loved or cherished in my life."

He takes in a sharp breath and caresses the side of my face with his free hand. "Marry me today, please…."

"Yes," is all I can manage out of my throat.

He kisses me again and Elizabeth begins shrieking like a little hyena. "Mommy and Daddy get murried?"

Christian and I's eyes go wide as we realize that this could be a problem if we want to keep tonight's festivities a secret. After Reynolds and Evelyn got married, she was obsessed with weddings for weeks. She knows what they are and she has figured out that they are a big deal. This is going to be interesting.

"Yes baby," Christian tells her, "But you cannot tell anyone else."

"Not Grandma…. Not Aunt Evelyn or Uncle Reynolds…"

"Don't even tell Scarlett," Christian tells her with a snort, "Do understand baby?"

She shrugs her shoulders, "Ok!" We both laugh and continue to wade through the water as a family. Elizabeth finds the whole idea of water all around her absolutely delightful, and she cannot contain her sounds of pure glee. My baby is blissfully happy; I could do this all day.

Finally, I see several bodies fill the back porch of our beach house. Christian nods towards the group and turns to me with a deep sigh. "Let's go…. they're here."

"Five more minutes," I huff as Christian kisses me.

"Let's go baby…." he croons as he pulls me forward.

"EVY!" Elizabeth squeals as we get closer, "Mommy down." Since it is safe, I put her on the ground and she races to her Aunt.

Evelyn embraces her and spins her around. "There's my sweet girl," she coos at my baby, "I've missed you."

Evelyn looks really good. Her blonde hair is pulled up in a messy pony tail, and her Chevron maxi dress is perfectly stylish for the beach, Evelyn has a way with fashion that I'll never be able to pull off.

"Where Scar?" Elizabeth asks instantly. From Elizabeth's interactions with her cousin so far, I'd say that she sees her as an Alien creature. She still doesn't understand babies, and it is really funny to watch them interact.

Evelyn leaves her several kisses on her forehead. "Inside with Uncle Reynolds, you want to see your cousin?"

She nods her head adamantly and Evelyn reaches over to hug me. "You guys look adorable out there. You should be the poster child for families at the beach…" Evelyn jokes, "And seriously, Ana. This bathing suit, you look so hot. If this wasn't a private beach…."

"You're right," Christian says as he smacks my butt, "She is lucky it is a private beach. That husband better keep his bastard eyes away from what is mine."

Evelyn rolls her eyes, "Whatever, Grey." Christian walks into the house and Evelyn places Elizabeth on the ground so she can follow him in.

Reynolds would never look at my ass purposely. He is insane about my sister. Reynolds and Evelyn married pretty soon after his divorce was finalized and they haven't wasted any time. Considering Reynolds's age and the fact that they were already pregnant with Scarlett at the time of their nuptials, Evelyn and Joseph promised all of us at their shotgun wedding that they were going to become a baby making machine. I wouldn't be surprised if Evelyn was pregnant right now.

"Where is everyone else?" I ask my sister.

"Well…. We took a side trip to visit my mother so we're a little early."

My jaw drops, "Your mother…. I thought you hated your mother."

She sighs, "I do, but she has been asking about Scarlett and Joseph made the arrangements. He has been bothering me about it since he has never actually met her." I could have spared Joseph the confusion – she is a terrible woman.

"So you did it to appease your man?"

She nods sadly, "Yep…. But the visit didn't go well at all. She was either eyeing Joseph or finding backhanded ways to call me a bad Mom." God, I hate that bitch – like he has any room to talk about being a good Mom. She left her Dad and Ev when Evelyn was in junior high.

"Oh honey… I'm so sorry."

"He agreed to never see her again," she says and I am instantly relieved, "He finally understands my issues with her."

"Good," I say as we hug again.

"I'm so happy be to be here. Your mother is officially the mother I never had."

I smile and take her beautiful face in my hands, "Isn't my mom the best? When will our parents be here?"

"Soon…. they have another two hours…. At the max," she informs me, "I called my Dad after seeing my mom."

We hold hands as we walk in. When I see the sight of our men in the living room, I think my ovaries could burst at any moment. Reynolds is playing some silly game with Elizabeth and Christian has Scarlett in his arms. She looks upset, and I assume Christian is trying to calm her down. The look in his eyes tells me everything, he wants another baby. He loves being a Dad and he loves being the protector; it's the most natural role in the world for him.

Christian looks up at me and I smile. Christian takes a seat on the couch with Scarlett and I sit next to him. He kisses my temple as we gaze lovingly at our niece. There is no doubt that Reynolds is Scarlett's father, she looks just like him. She has an olive complexion and his bright blue eyes. She is the second most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

Christian puts his lips to my ear. "I want another one…."

I look up at him with surprise, "You do?"

He nods, "I need to marry you first though."

"Good point…."

"Good thing we're taking care of that tonight."

"Good thing," I snort.

"Good thing," he repeats, "You were pretty cute when you were pregnant."

"I was super fat," I tell him, "I waddled."

He looks over me and I see the pain. I'll always feel guilt over him not being able to be a part of my first pregnancy. I won't ever get over it.

"I love you," I whisper in his ear, "We'll have another baby…. I'm yours forever."

He leans over to kiss me, but we are quickly interrupted. "I wanna sit wif you Daddy," Elizabeth whines.

"Not right now baby," Christian tells her calmly, "I'm holding your cousin right now."

She huffs and I see the tantrum begin to start. "NO," she shrieks, "MY DADDY!" I see her little hand reach for Scarlett and I immediately stop it from meeting her cousin's face. I pick her up as she begins kicking and screaming.

"Nap time," I announce. She continues to cry and squeal and I promptly take her upstairs and place her in her bed.

"No Mama, No…" she cries, "I sowy, I sowy." Normally, her crying kills me, but she tried to slap her cousin – I have no sympathy for that.

"You will not leave this bed or you're staying here for the entire day and we won't have a birthday party or cake," I tell her as I silently pray that she calms down, "Take a nap."

Her little breathing stills and she begins to succumb to her exhaustion. It is nap time anyway, so I figure that explains her diva fit. I close the door and walk back downstairs. Everyone is staring at me and Evelyn is shaking her head.

"Like daughter, like father," she says, turning her head to Christian.

"What?" Christian asks with surprise.

"The possessiveness…. My Daddy," Evelyn mimics Elizabeth, "She obviously learned that somewhere."

I snort, "Evelyn, she is two, that's normal… Christian really doesn't have an excuse."

Reynolds begins to laugh and Christian shakes his head with bemusement. He hands Scarlett back to Reynolds and he leans over to kiss my shoulder. "I'm getting away from you two…. Reynolds, poker downstairs?"

"My man," Reynolds nods in approval. He leans over to kiss Evelyn and smiles at me. "I'll take the baby so you two can have some sister time."

"Thank you baby," Evelyn tells him as they kiss again, "I love you."

"Both sets of parents should be here soon," I remind them, "So don't make it a long poker game."

After a few more kisses, both men leave and I am left alone with my sister. She smiles happily as we find drinks. Gail comes in minutes later, greets my sister, and begins preparing the meals for the rest of the day. She already made Elizabeth's birthday cake so today's lunch and dinner is all that's left.

We begin talking, moving from jobs to husbands to children and Evelyn suddenly smiles wide. "I'm pregnant again…."

"AH!" I squeal, "When did you find this out."

"A couple days ago - I'm four weeks pregnant… Reynolds is so happy."

"I bet he is," I say as we hug, "You two really are a baby making machine."

She smiles happily, "I know…. But I'm not announcing this to everyone yet so this stays between us."

"Got it."

"So I have a random question for you…." Evelyn begins, her eyes suddenly nervous.

"What question could have you this nervous?" I snort.

"Well, I was just curious…. When you were pregnant and having sex with Sloane…"

I learned today that when wine shoots through your nose, it hurts. "What the hell?" I spit, trying to wipe off the wine from my face.

"Calm down," she laughs, "and humor me. Reynolds has a penis piercing and you're the only other person I know who has had sex with a guy who has a penis piercing."

"Reynolds has one?" I ask in shock.

She nods, "It's awesome…. But he took it out when I was pregnant with Scarlett. He worried it might hurt the baby. I really want him to get one again, but he keeps refusing to do it. He states that forty year old men don't have pierced penises."

"Yeah," I say, pulling my memory back from that time, "Sloane took it out too, we was also worried. I wanted him to get it back in, and he had an appointment scheduled."

She nods, "I guess I'll do some research."

"God, I forgot how much I loved it," I snicker.

"You should totally ask Christian to get one," she suggests.

I laugh, "That will go over really well. Hey honey, my ex-husband had a pierced penis, and I really enjoyed it… do you think you could get one too."

I expect Evelyn to start laughing, but all I see is a shocked expression cross her face. "Evelyn, what's wrong?" I ask as I follow her nervous eyes.

Christian is standing behind me looking incredibly pale. His eyes are wide, but emotionless. Shit, shit, oh shit – what did he hear? Thank God Gail went to go check on Elizabeth and took a small break from cooking, serves me fucking right for having a dirty conversation with my sister in my kitchen.

"Hey baby," I choke out, "What are you doing?"

"I'm ummmm," he stammers, "Getting drinks for me and ummm Reynolds." He doesn't even walk into the kitchen; he just turns around and walks back downstairs. I place my head in my hands and Evelyn shakes her head.

"Well that was unfortunate…."

"Don't ever talk to me about penis piercings again," I hiss at her, "I'm supposed to get fucking married tomorrow."

Evelyn gasps, "What? When?"

"Oh don't you start…. You're in trouble. I may not even invite you now. My fiancé is humiliated because of you and your dirty mouth."

I make my way downstairs and Evelyn follows me. Of all the days to bring up my ex-husband's penis, it had to be the day I get re-married. I stop midway downstairs and look to the ceiling. Something hits me, and I cannot help but follow my gut.

"You had to do this today, you jackass," I hiss at the ceiling.

"For the love," Evelyn hisses, "Have you lost it?"

"RC must know that I am getting married tomorrow," I tell her, "This is his last parting shot from heaven…."

Ev shakes her head. "If you're right…. Do you really think this is RC's doing?"

I laugh and continue my trek to Christian. "Of course RC would do something like that…. Even from the grave."


	36. Finale Part Two

**A/N – Ok to answer a few questions I've received– Save Me from Myself is complete… I've even put the complete label on it – I am finished with it. YMURC Book 2 is not finished, but it is out in limbo for right now. Not sure when I am going to touch it again – sorry, just being honest. I also took down my original and I am off Fiction Press for personal reasons. **

**Moving on…. Thank you so much for all the feedback from last chapter! So…. this finale is magically turning into a multi-part chapter. I mean, this is Elizabeth second birthday and Ana and Christian's wedding, I've gotta do it up right! Lol. Sorry that this chapter is so short. Hopefully it will clear some stuff up before we get to the birthday/wedding. **

**I don't own FSOG**

**Chapter 36 – Finale (Part 2)**

**Ana **

** I am downstairs within a minute, and I immediately drag Christian back upstairs. **He follows obediently, allowing me to force him into our bedroom. I throw the door closed and somehow manage to pin Christian to the bed. I am lying across his body with his arms pinned at his side within seconds.

"As much as I love this baby," Christian jokes, "But what the hell are you doing?"

"That conversation wasn't what you thought it was…."

He looks up at me curiously, probably still wondering why I have him in this position on our bed. He examines my expression, most likely wondering what to say.

"Oh really…. " he questions.

"Yes."

"Did RC have a dick piercing?" he asks, his eyes intent on my reaction.

I hang my head, feeling defeated. "Yes."

He blanches and I feel awful. "… And why were you discussing it in my kitchen?"

I am still wondering this myself, but there really is only one answer. "Evelyn…. Evelyn started this. Apparently Reynolds has one. She wanted sisterly advice…. I guess."

Christian coughs in surprise. "Reynolds has his dick pierced?"

Shit. Reynolds is going to shoot me. "He used to, but when Evelyn got pregnant, he removed it."

Anger immediately fills his expression, and I feel my heart stop. I don't like where this is headed. "Please tell me that Sloane took that fucking thing off when…. You were…. Fuuuuuck…," he rambles angrily.

I hate this. I should have stopped that conversation in this kitchen. I hate that I am the reason he is at this point. "Yes," is all I can answer back.

He nods, but I still see the pain in his expression. I feel terrible, and I don't know how to make this up to him. I can't change the past, but in this moment I would sell my limbs to make that happen.

I lean over and lightly kiss his lips. "I'm so sorry baby…."

"It's fine," he says curtly.

"You aren't fine," I reply back.

"I just don't like you talking about him in my house…."

"Evelyn brought it up," I blurt out, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I kiss him again and again. After a few more kisses, I finally feel his tension begin to wane. I take in a deep breath. "I never told you this, but…. When Sloane took my virginity, I thought about you the entire time."

His eyes perk up, and a soft smile graces his lips. "Really? You aren't just saying that? Wait…. did he really wait that long to seal the deal with you?"

I giggle snort which makes him smile. "My first time ever having sex was after your pissing contest at the radio station. You were hot, and a pain in the ass, and I couldn't stop thinking about you."

He takes in a deep sigh. "Those blue eyes were all I could see for months. You hooked me from the first moment I saw you."

I melt, I can't help it. "I couldn't stop thinking about you either. I wanted to deny how I felt because of RC… but I couldn't."

He nods with a small smirk and I know we're good. "I am going to give Reynolds so much shit for his dick piercing."

I gasp, "Don't you dare. I want this stupid topic dropped."

He flinches and shakes his head. "Just so you know - I am never getting that…. I hope that doesn't bother you…."

My jaw drops, "Why would that bother me?"

"You said you liked it," Christian fires back.

"Oh my God, seriously drop it. I don't want to hear about this again," I tell him, wrapping my arms around his hard body, "You have a beautiful cock Christian Grey…. Why mar that beauty with something unnecessary."

I jump off and he immediately pulls me back to bed with him and growls. I wrap my legs around his waist and he smiles my favorite sexy smoldering smile. He slams me back down on the bed, and begins ravishing my neck with his tongue. Before Christian really gets down to business, a voice pierces through the baby monitor.

"Mama… Mama…"

"You've gotta be kidding me," Christian hisses, "Some days I think the universe is trying to fuck with me."

I leave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Today is our baby's birthday. Tomorrow, you can have me all to yourself when we are husband and wife."

"I'm holding to you that…." He says as he gets up, "Ok, it's time to talk to our little hellion about slapping her cousin."

I follow him to Elizabeth's room. I open the door and see that baby girl is just waking up from her slumber. She stretches all of her limbs, just like her Daddy does in the morning, and sits up with an adorable smirk. She definitely woke up on the right side of the bed this afternoon. Elizabeth is a much happier riser then I am, she gets that from her father. Christian takes a seat on her bed and she jumps into his arms. I stand up against the door frame and watch my two favorite people interact.

"Do you know why you got in trouble?" he asks Elizabeth sternly.

She nods her head. "I hit Scar."

Christian nods, "Yes…. That's why Mama took you to your room. Will you hit your cousin again?"

She shakes her head and I smile at her silent apology.

"Hello?" I hear Grace's voice downstairs, "We are here…. Where is everyone?"

Christian picks up Elizabeth and begins to walk downstairs. "Hold on Mom…. I am handling insubordinate behavior. "

I smile at Grace as I follow Christian and Elizabeth. Gail is still cooking away and I notice the entire Grey clan seated in the kitchen and watching us with interested eyes. I apologetically shrug at Grace as she smiles adoringly. We make it downstairs and Christian brings Elizabeth right next to a curious Scarlett.

"Christian, what are you doing?" Evelyn asks.

"Yes, I would like to know too…." I add.

Ignoring both of us, Christian proceeds. "Elizabeth, say you're sorry to your cousin."

"Christian, Scarlett is six months old," Evelyn reminds him.

"Elizabeth is not six months old," Christian fires back, turning back to Elizabeth, "Elizabeth…. Say you're sorry to your cousin."

Elizabeth sighs and shrugs her little shoulders. "I sowy Scar."

Christian smiles lovingly at his baby and kisses her cheek. "Give her a kiss," Christian tells her. Elizabeth pouts and Christian gives her a grimacing stare. Daddy means business. Elizabeth complies, leaning over to kiss her cousin's cheek.

"Good girl," Christian says with another kiss, "Birthday party time." Before Christian exists completely, he turns and smirks at Reynolds.

"Dude…. I had no idea you got it pierced…."

Christian laughs and exists the room. All eyes turn to a mortified Evelyn. Telling too much information is a lesson that Evelyn Adams Reynolds needs to learn one of these days.

"How does he know that?" Reynolds hisses.

"I might have told Ana…." She practically whispers.

"WHAT?" he seethes, "Evelyn Reynolds, woman I love and mother of my child – stop talking about our sex life. I don't care if it's to your sister…. because when you tell your sister – it makes it to Christian!"

"God, I am so sorry baby," Evelyn pleads, "Can we just forget about this and enjoy our niece's birthday?" She begins leaving soft kisses across his face, mixing in her fervent sorrys. He sighs and shakes his head.

"What am I going to do with you?"

She smiles wide, "Keep me forever…. Please."

"God," I huff, "You two are disgustingly adorable." They both laugh as I walk over to grab my niece. "I am going to let Mommy and Daddy have a moment…. Come on Scar… let's celebrate Slappy McSlapperton's birthday."

She easily molds to my side and I take in her sweet scent. She tugs on my hair and I give her several kisses on her chubby cheeks. I mindlessly meander upstairs, not paying much attention to the scene around me.

"God, I miss having a baby in the house."

I knew that everyone was chattering, visiting, and eating lunch in the kitchen. I didn't realize that everyone could hear me say those words to my niece. I didn't realize everyone would stop what they were doing to turn their eyes to me.

"Ana…." Mia whispers across the silence, "Are you pregnant?"

"For the love of Pete – NO," I say to a room full of mine and Christian's families, "I am not pregnant. I need to get married first."

Grace nods in agreement. "Yes, you do…. When are you two getting married?" She turns her speculative eyes to her son.

Elizabeth beams, "MOMMY AND DADDY!"

Christian immediately places a hand over Elizabeth's mouth. "Are so excited for their little Princesses second birthday…," he interrupts her, "Look at your cake baby girl…. Gail made it just for you."

This sufficiently distracts her and we are able to move on with no other questions from the rest of our families. When I take a seat next to Grace, she turns to me with a curious expression.

"Ana," she asks in a hushed tone, "Are you marrying my son anytime soon?"

I take a big forkful of Gail's salad. "Oh my god, this salad is awesome."

Grace shakes her head at me, and I don't hear anything else about marrying Christian for the rest of the day.


	37. Finale Part Three

**A/N – I don't own FSOG **

**Something happened to my pinterest page. It is still up and working but I can't add to it. I don't know what I did to anger the pinterest gods, but here is my NEW Feel Again board. Lol **

**Pinterest lizlemonmeh / feel – again -2 / - add and take out the spaces. **

**Chapter 37 – Finale Part 3 / We Found Love **

**Ana**

** My family, including my Dad – thank God, shows up fifteen minutes after Christian's family arrives. **They join our lunch proceedings and I am swept up in the excited chatter and happiness. Christian squeezes my hand and I feel content. I am suddenly very happy Grace and My Mom invited themselves to Elizabeth's beach birthday party. I don't see how we could have her birthday or our wedding without them.

"Everyone," Mia says, waving her hands in the air, "I have an announcement."

"What kind of an announcement?" Grace asks, just as confused as I am.

"I have a new boyfriend…. Well he isn't new. We've been together for a while."

Everyone at the table looks upon her with intrigue. Who could she be possibly be seeing and why would she keep it from us for so long? Something seems off about this new boyfriend.

"And it is getting kind of serious…. It's only been six months, but he is already using the "M" word," Mia adds.

"Who is this guy?" I ask her.

Mia turns to Elliot and I see confusion flash across his face. "Ethan Kavanagh."

His eyebrows raise and I hear Grace gasp behind me. I've known the Kavanagh's for a while and Ethan is the only normal member of that family. Actually, Ethan Kavanagh was my first kiss – I totally forgot about that. I think him and Mia would be cute together, despite the awkward.

"Don't you think that's a little uncomfortable for me, Mia?" Elliot snaps at her.

"That's why I haven't told you about him, but I like him and I want to move forward with him…."

The whole room gets quiet and I suddenly feel very bad for Mia. You can't help who you fall in love with, even if it is awkward for your entire family.

"Well, I'm happy for you Mia…. Ethan is a good guy," I tell her with a pat on the knee.

"How do you know Ethan?" Christian asks with a curious expression. Shit, I really don't want to tell him in front of everyone that we dated for two weeks and he has kissed me a total of ten times.

"We're old friends," I say with quickly.

"Old friends….?"

"Daddy, I wanna go swimmin," Elizabeth suddenly tells her Dad. Thank goodness for my daughter.

"Yes," my Mom agrees, nodding her head, "I think that's a great idea. I didn't come all the way out here to not hit the beach."

I look up at my Mom and mouth a big "thank you" in her direction. She knows I dated Ethan briefly. She also knows, after a quick tour of our beach house, that RC was discussed this morning. She understands the sensitivity of bringing this up now and I am thankful. I'll tell Christian about Ethan later, a lot fucking later.

Christian concedes and I grab Elle to change into a second swim suit. Swimsuit number two is pink and striped with long yellow stripes. It is too adorable on Elizabeth's tiny body. When we get back downstairs, some of the family is seated on our porch and the rest has ventured out into the water. Christian grabs Elizabeth and whispers in my ear.

"Old friends?"

"We dated for a week in high school and he was my first kiss…." I blurt out all at once – just like ripping of a band aid.

His eyes flare open and I pull him back to me. "It meant nothing – I was a kid, and it's already awkward for Mia with the whole Kate and Elliot mess. She seems happy and I don't want my bullshit to mess that up for her."

He nods, "Are there any other boyfriends of yours that we need to discuss before we get married."

"Murried?" Elizabeth asks too loudly. Oh crap, I guess I wasn't whispering as well as I thought.

"Baby girl," I whisper, "Remember, getting married is our little secret. Don't tell anyone."

She nods and I continue my conversation with Christian. "Bobby Larsen in Middle School…. He tried to kiss me and I hit him."

Christian chuckles, "Good girl…. Who else…."

"Bobby, Ethan, RC, You…. That's the extent of my relationships or lack thereof…. " I finish, "But hey, what about you?"

"Baby, I have enough money to buy off every woman I've ever been with if I need to," he says confidently, "Don't worry… I'm going to make you so happy, and I am going to keep those others away from us for good."

I smile and kiss him. "Good…. I'm glad."

"Daddy, I wanna go swimmin," Elizabeth whales again.

"Go take her," I tell him, "It's her birthday Mr. Grey."

"It is, Mrs. Grey-in-approximately- ten-hours."

They walk off to where Joseph and Scarlett are while Evelyn moves next to me. "I can't believe she is two…."

I take in a deep breath, "I know…. Two years old. It's crazy. It seems like yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital."

"I can't wait till you two have another kid so that you can say 'It seems like just yesterday that CHRISTIAN and I were bringing him or her home from the hospital'."

I take in a wistful sigh. "So do I, Ev, so do I."

**Christian**

** We're all gathered around the table as Gail brings a lighted cake around the corner. **The cake is beach themed and incredibly decadent. Anastasia and I have spared no expense for Elizabeth's birthdays. Every day we have with her is a gift, and I will never apologize for how much we celebrate.

I hold on to Ana as I see tears begin to fall. "I can't believe she is two…."

"I can't either," she says through her pounding tears.

The whole room erupts with Happy Birthday and I hold Ana tight to my side. Elizabeth's little eyes are beaming with excitement as she stares at her over the top birthday cake. I leave several kisses on Ana's temple and wipe away a few tears. They both are perfect; I didn't realize I could get this lucky.

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Elizabeth, Happy Birthday to you!" The room finishes the song loudly and obnoxiously.

"Blow out the candles baby," Ana beckons. Elizabeth blows each candle out individually and everyone erupts with applause. Ana and I both lean over to kiss her cheeks and Mom takes a picture.

"God, that's so beautiful," Carla sighs, "I love it."

Ana cuts up a piece for Elizabeth to claw through and we all watch Elizabeth devour her cake.

"You and me forever," I whisper in her ear, "Tonight starts forever."

She holds back a sob as she turns around to kiss me. "You and me."

**I tuck Elizabeth and Ana in for naptime and begin searching the house. **Before anything happens tonight, I need to have a conversation with Ray. I'm not his favorite person. When I went to ask him initially for Ana's hand, his words were "You already have a child with her…. I guess I don't have a choice, now do I?" Ana respects him and I want to make sure we're on the same page for her sake.

The rest of the family is relaxing in the living room or in our guest rooms. I look around a while longer until I find Ray on the porch drinking a beer. I take a step outside and Ray looks up.

He nods, "Where's my daughter?"

"Taking a nap with your granddaughter."

He nods again, "Beer?"

I snicker, "Sure why not."

He finds a beer sitting next to him and hands it over to me as I take a seat. We sit in silence as we both drink. I'm not sure how to start this conversation, and I try to think of how to begin.

"I'm marrying Ana tonight," I tell him, "I wanted it to be a surprise for everyone…."

Ray stays silent for a moment, but then smiles. "God, that's nice to know. I am so glad taking the trip down here with Carla and Bob won't be for nothing."

"Not a big fan of hanging out with Carla and Bob?"

He snorts, "Would you want to hang out with RC and Ana when they were still together."

I nod, not denying the truth behind that. "Good point."

"So you two are finally doing this?" he asks as I nod, "Good…. It's about damn time."

I laugh, "Yeah, we've waited long enough."

We sit in silence for a while longer and I take in a deep breath. It's now or never. "Do you hate me?" I ask. "I mean, I haven't really helped my case through my actions, but I don't know…. Time has gone by and I hope that you think I've done a good job as a father and a partner for Ana…"

"Listen," he says, putting down his beer, "You'll understand this when Elizabeth is older…. It's tough seeing your kid in pain, it's tough seeing them heartbroken over some asshole kid, it's tough seeing them get back together with that asshole, and it is tough being replaced by the asshole. Am I still bitter over some of the shit you've put her through – yeah, I am. Am I going to deny how happy she is with you now? No, I'm not. When Elizabeth gets old enough to date and get married…. You're going to wish for her a guy who has his shit together and can give her what she deserves. That's not going to happen because that's life. At the end of the day, you grew up and gave my daughter a family and that's all I can ask for. Just don't fuck it up."

His speech hits me, and I really don't know what else to say. I am just relieved he isn't planning my murder. "So… you don't hate me."

He laughs, "No Grey…. I don't hate you."

We both take long drags of our beer in silence. I am relieved; this could have gone a lot worse.

**Two Years and Seven Months Earlier**

**Evelyn **

** "Evelyn," I hear Jackie from down the hall, "Have you seen Ana? We're supposed to start any second now…."**

"I am sure she is still getting ready, Jackie," I reply back nervously.

We're in Vegas, in a questionable hotel, and I am trying my hardest to get my sister ready to walk down the aisle. The plan was for both the bride and groom to get ready in their rooms, and then the ceremony would be in a hotel ballroom. I have taken on the role of "wedding planner" and I have just checked to make sure the ballroom is ready for the ceremony and that everyone else is where they need to be. Ana is going to hate it the ballroom, but that's what happens when you plan your wedding on the plane ride.

I knock on her bedroom door, and I am greeted by a nervous Carla. "You are absolutely needed," Carla says as she pulls me in. I follow her into the bathroom, and I am in shock by the sight in front of me. Ana is in her wedding dress, curled up into a ball, and crying hysterically.

"Ana," I ask nervously, "Honey…. You need to get up and wash off your face."

"Is everyone ready?" she asks through her sobbing.

I nod, "The minister, your Dad, and RC's family are all downstairs waiting for you."

She nods, wiping the mascara away. "Ok…. I'm coming."

"Ana…. What is it?" I ask, sinking down to her level. My short purple bridesmaids dress does not work for getting on the ground, but I doubt Ana will say anything if I flash her.

"I'm fine Ev," she says, trying to sound confident, "I am happy and I am getting married to the man of my dreams."

"Honey," I say as I hold on to the sides of her face, "It's ok to admit that you are not happy."

She laughs sadly, "Actually, it's not ok. RC has done so much for me. He is taking me on when I am pregnant and an emotional basket case. He loves me and I love him…."

"You don't have to do this just because RC is too nice to turn down," I tell her, "This is your life…. This is your marriage. You don't have to be chained to someone out of duty."

"So my other option is to have Christian take a paternity test, find out that he is the father of this kid, and then have him be chained to me out of duty. Fuck, at least RC loves me…."

"I don't understand why you think that Christian doesn't love you…."

"I've gone over this a million times," she shrieks, "He wouldn't have let me go if he still loved me. He wouldn't have sworn allegiance to that Cow if he loved me."

"Ok, ok," I say, trying to placate her, "I'm sorry."

"I love him…. But he isn't in love with me. I can't live in some fantasy anymore… "

A soft knock comes from the bathroom door, and Carla slowly walks inside. She moves a small pink box down to the floor and smiles. "This is from RC…."

Ana stares and slowly reaches for it. She opens it, and stops to read the note.

"For my love on our Wedding day," Ana reads, her voice soft, "You've made me happier than I've ever could imagine. You're my world. I love you, Ryker Colin Sloane."

She takes in a sharp breath and pulls out a beautiful platinum locket. We all look around the room, trying to decide what to do next.

"I need to marry him today…." Ana finally says softly.

"Are you sure?" I ask her, "I can sneak you out of here."

She shakes her head. "I make him happy…. At the very least, I am making someone I care for extremely happy. I can't take that away from him."

She stands up and begins wiping away the mascara. I guess there will be a wedding today after all.

**Present Time**

**Ana**

** I stand at my mirror, straightening my long lace wedding dress. **I examine my hair, proud of the work I did by myself to make it wedding ready. I managed to pin up my long, brown waves to where they are artfully placed at the top of my head. Evelyn walks up behind me and smiles brightly.

"Where are the babies?"

"Elle is in your Mom's arms downstairs. She was half asleep, but we forced her into a cute lacy dress…. Scarlett is with her father and she is also sound asleep."

The boys are getting dressed at a beach house next to this one. In the middle is a beautiful gazebo with plenty of space for our guests. It will be lit up for the ceremony and I can't wait – it will be perfect for us.

I nod as Evelyn begins opening the Tiffany's box in her hand. "This is from the groom."

My jaw drops when I see all the diamonds stuffed onto my very small necklace. "I am going to fall over…"

Evelyn laughs, "No you aren't…" She lifts the hair off my neck and places the beautiful necklace across my neck. "Perfect… you look perfect."

My Mom enters the room, and I hear her gasp. I turn around and see that my daughter is sleeping soundly on her shoulder. My baby is in a turquoise lace dress, and Scarlett is matching, but in a smaller size. My Mom walks across the room and slides her free arm around my shoulder.

"I am so happy for you baby…"

"I'm sorry for lying about all of this," I say with a shrug.

"It's ok," she says, tears falling down her face, "I'm just so happy this is finally happening."

"Do we remember the last time we were all in the same room and Ana had a wedding dress on," Evelyn comments as she leans under the bed, "We were missing something…. Vodka."

My mother and I laugh as Evelyn pours us each a shot. She hands it to each of us and we all three lift our glasses.

"To the journey… and finally landing on Prince Charming – It may not have been easy, it may have been heartbreaking …."

"But I would never change a moment because it led me here. I would always choose to be right here, right now…."

Evelyn grins at me and my mother begins another round of sobbing.

"And to more grandchildren," Mom says through light sobs. Evelyn and I both laugh as I leave a soft kiss on Elizabeth's head. Mom and I take our shots and Evelyn hands hers to me. Two vodka shots, I am not sure I'll be able to walk down the aisle.

"Give us some time first…." I cough out.

"Hey up there," I hear my Dad yell from downstairs, "They want to start…. Is the bride ready?"

"She is," I yell back down, "Just give us a couple minutes." I lean over rub my daughter's back. "Elle, wake up… you wanna see Mommy and Daddy get married right?"

Her head pops up and her eyes go wide. "I do!" she squeals happily.

We all laugh as Mom takes her downstairs. I give Evelyn a quick hug and she grabs her flowers before she heads back down. I follow her down and I see my father in a tan suit holding my bouquet of flowers. I laugh and grab my flowers out of his hand.

"Those are for me Dad…"

He snickers, "I know smart ass. You look so beautiful baby girl."

I smile as he leans over to kiss my cheek. "Thank you Daddy."

"So you ready for this?" he asks, holding on tight to my arm, "Second times a charm?"

I elbow him as he chuckles. "I think this is right this time…. I know it is right this time."

"Good…. That's all I want for you baby," he whispers in my ear, "But don't worry, I told him that if he hurts you at all, I'll kick his ass."

I laugh, "Thank you."

Evelyn must have walked out of the house because suddenly she is clawing at the sliding glass door.

"Elizabeth is in Grace's arms, and she is wide awake – she doesn't want to miss one second of this, Scarlett is in your Mom's arms. The guys are assembled down there and Mia is waiting at the bottom, ready for us to walk…. So I think it's time to go…. you ready?"

"I'm ready…" I breathe.

"Ready…. Let's go."

**After nearly four years of fights, flirtations, pain, breakups, babies, counseling, loss, finding each other again, becoming parents, and lots and lots of sex – I married Christian Trevelyan Grey on a private beach in Malibu California. **He was barefoot and in a tan suit that somehow managed to make him look sexier than ever, and I wore a long white lace wedding dress. I promised to love him, I promised to look after him, I promised to support him, and I promised to continue to be his partner for the rest of our lives. He promised the same, with the addition of lots of fucking. He used the word "shagging" as to not embarrass his already emotional mother.

Grace loved the surprise. She wanted to murder us for keeping it a secret, but she loved it all the same. Our families partied our asses off on that beach. It was perfect – low seductive music, twinkle lights, and lots of dancing on the sand. Our daughter was exhausted, but she loved every moment of our ceremony. She would not leave our sides the entire evening, and I didn't want her to. She is the best part of us, and I couldn't imagine our wedding without her.

As the party drew to a close, Grace promptly grabbed a half asleep Elizabeth out of my arms. "Ok you two, since I am responsible for her for the next week and a half, I think it's time she get to bed."

I look up at Christian with surprise and he grins. "This is why I invited them," Christian says with a mischievous smile, "So they can easily take our daughter so we can go on our honeymoon." My mouth drops in shock. I really want to jump on him for thinking so well. "She'll be doing a week and a half at my parent's house, and then a week and a half at your parent's house."

Now I am really shocked. "Three Weeks?" I gasp, "I didn't realize we'd be gone for three weeks."

"It took us long enough to get here, Mrs. Grey," he says with that "fuck me upstairs" kind of smile, "We earned a three week long honeymoon."

"We'll be in the house next door," Grace tells me, "And we'll be leaving in the morning."

I hug Grace and my sleeping baby. "Thank you."

"No," Grace laughs, "Thank you for FINALLY being my daughter-in-law."

Taylor pops a second later with Elizabeth's suitcase and I give one last kiss goodbye to my baby. I run through a few things that Grace will need to know and I send them off.

"Good job son," Carrick says with a pat on the back, "You've done good…. We'll take good care of your baby."

Reynolds leaves soon after with a sleeping Scarlett and they head to the next beach house – Christian practically owns the block. The rest of our guests create a wall of bodies, and he grabs my hand.

"You ready, Mrs. Grey?"

"I am Mr. Grey," I say as I squeeze his hand firmly. We take off through the line of people and we finally make it to our back porch. Christian lifts me up and hauls me inside. He carries me up the stairs and throws me down on the bed.

"Alone at last," I say with a smirk, "You planned a lot more then I realized."

"You deserved the best," he says with a shrug, "And really… it wasn't much."

I shake my head at his nonchalance and watch my husband as he strips. God, he is sexy and I am married to him, when did I get this lucky? I begin to remove my shoes and he stops me.

"I want to undress my wife," he says, voice soft, "Wait."

I nod and lean back, allowing myself to feast my eyes on Christian's stripping body. After a second, he grabs something off my nightstand and hands it to me. My birth control pills stare at me straight in the face, and I am wondering why he is giving these to me.

"You said you'd give me more babies when we got married…."

I nod, staring at the packet. "I did."

"I don't know about you," he continues, "But I'd really like that baby as soon as possible."

"Oh really, Mr. Grey?"

"Yes really, Mrs. Grey…" he replies back.

"What if I say no…." I say, opening the packet up. A flash of anxiety fills his features but he eventually just nods.

"Then I'd have to fuck you until you forget all about your pills."

I laugh and he finally laughs with me. I see it in his eyes – he wants another child. I do too, I just wasn't expecting this conversation on our wedding night. I take my packet of pills and look into his eyes.

"Let's make another freaking baby," I say as I toss the pills across the room. Of course, this is me we're talking about and that little toss didn't go so well. I hear sounds of several metal items breaking and my heart stops.

Christian shakes his head and laughs. "Well you didn't have to break the mirror over it…"

"Oh my god, I broke the mirror."

He laughs again, "Yes you did…. Oh, Mrs. Grey – what am I going to do with you?"

He climbs over me and begins moving my wedding dress off my body. "Three weeks of baby making," he says with a long languid kisses up my neck, "I can't fucking wait…."

**A/N – Ok so – here is my plan: I have sort of come up with a new story line to add to this so…. next chapter we will be moving up eight years and it will be in Ana and Christian's POV. So… More of Feel Again! Yay! I hope you guys like what I have planned. I am just going to stop saying I am done or how many chapters I think I have left because honestly, my plans get messed with every time. lol. **

**Also – I just wanted to say that this will be the last mention of RC…. Going forward (especially 8 years in time) we won't hear any more about him. **

**Thanks and let me know what you think! **


	38. Part 2: Eight Years Later

**A/N – Thanks guys for all the feedback for the last chapter. I am excited for where we are going next – ENJOY! I don't own FSOG **

**And this website sucks and I am going to try this – pinterest dot com slash lizlemonmeh slash feel-again-2 slash (Hopefully that works.) **

**Part 2**** – Chapter 38 – Eight Years Later **

**Ana**

** "You outta here, Mrs. Grey?" my assistant asks as I throw on my jacket. **

I nod, "I thought I'd actually pick up my kids from school today."

"How novel," Jenna jokes. She suddenly gets serious, "The school called…"

I drop my head in defeat. "What did Elizabeth do now?"

"It's not too bad this time; she just got in trouble with every teacher today."

"Oh yeah," I scoff, "That's not so bad…. She shouldn't be getting in trouble with any teacher."

My little Elizabeth has grown to be such a diva. She is talkative, she has a temper to match her Dad's, and she throws fits with the best of them. I am constantly getting calls from the school about Elizabeth's behavior. The worst call I've received was when she got into a fight with another little girl at school. We had to go in and meet with the other girl's parents, it was a mess. She can be so sweet, and it's a shame that she doesn't want to show the world how sweet she can really be.

"Well, good thing you're on the way," Jenna say as she hands me a few files to take home. Jenna and I say our goodbyes and I head for the door.

Sawyer is waiting at the SUV downstairs and I immediately jump into the car. "To the school, Sawyer…"

"Yes ma'am," he nods, "Any good phone calls from the school today?"

I give him a look and he bursts into laughter. "Elizabeth is at it again…."

"Apparently," I huff, "That girl is going to be the death of me….. Does Mr. Grey know?"

"He has been in meetings all afternoon, but he told me specifically to tell you that he will be home for dinner tonight."

"Good," I nod. He has been insanely busy all week with work, and I feel like I've barely seen him. Teddy asked about him last night and it broke my heart.

We finally pull up to the school, and I jump out. Sawyer parks and follows me inside the building. I make my way to the office, praying that this isn't too bad. After a second with the secretary, Elizabeth shows up with her homeroom teacher at her side. My daughter looks sweet, she is a carbon copy of my husband, but the 4th grade girls of the Waldorf School have felt her wrath on numerous occasions.

"Hi Mommy," she says quietly. She puts her head down and I know she knows that she is in trouble.

"What happened today?" I ask Mrs. Bradbury.

"Well… it seems that Elizabeth has started her own club," she says, both of us looking down at Elizabeth, "Their club's mission is to keep certain girls out. There have been signs of bullying amongst Elizabeth's comrades."

My shoulders drop. I thought we taught her to not do this, I thought we taught her to be nice to everyone despite how she feels about them. Bullying is such a big deal these days, and I feel like I failed as a mother.

"We'll talk about this at home Elizabeth. Don't expect to leave the house for a while," I hiss.

"Look, can we talk alone Mrs. Grey?" Bradbury asks. I nod at Sawyer and he immediately escorts my daughter out the door. Bradbury walks me to a vacant conference room and I almost break down.

"I never taught her to act like that," I force out of my mouth, "I have no idea what to do…."

"I know Ana," Joanna says with a sigh, "Listen…. She is already an outspoken kid, and as tough as they come. On top of that, she is ten and she is moving into that age…."

"That age?" I ask with a laugh, "You mean she is ten going on sixteen."

Joanna laughs, "Yeah you're right."

"Is she going to get kicked out?" I ask. I know this school has a no tolerance policy when it comes to bullying.

"The Principal gave her and her friends a warning. We've re-distributed the classes and we think things are going to get better from here. The principal told the girls that expulsion will be the next step, and they're terrified," Joanna reassures me, "Do what you need to do at home, and hopefully Elizabeth will learn her lesson."

"Thank you," I breathe, "I hope this works."

"I hope so too," Joanna nods, "She really is a good kid, please don't beat yourself up. Sometimes good kids do bad things."

She escorts me out of the office and I wait at the front for my little boy. Hopefully my sweet second grader can ease my nerves. With perfect timing, my baby boy rounds the corner.

"Mommy!" he shrieks as he runs across the lobby.

I get down to his level and he wraps his little arms around me. I hold him close, squeezing him to death. Theodore Raymond Grey was born shortly after Christian and I got married. Both of my kids look just like their father, and I love it. Elizabeth looks a little like me, but Ted is his father's miniature "to the T."

"Did you have a good day baby boy?"

He groans and I can't help but smile. "Mom…. Don't call me that."

"Sorry Teddy," I say with a kiss, "Did you have a good day?"

"Don't kiss me either," he says as he wipes off my kiss.

"Theodore Raymond Grey," I laugh at him, "Do not wipe off your mother's kisses."

"Mrs. Grey!" I hear from across the lobby. Teddy's teacher Mrs. Hudson walks towards me and I am completely shocked. If Teddy did something bad at school today too, I am not sure what I am going to do.

"Hi, Mrs. Hudson…. I hope everything is alright. I've already had to meet with Mrs. Bradbury."

She laughs, "No, Mrs. Grey, everything is ok." She moves closer and begins to whisper. "I just thought you should know that Teddy seems to have a girlfriend."

My mouth gapes. "A girlfriend?"

She nods conspiratorially, "It's quite adorable, and I just wanted you to know."

I look down at Teddy and he shyly stares at the ground. I shake my head, it's been a long day and I am already exhausted. My little boy better not have a girlfriend – I am supposed to be his favorite girl for at least five more years.

**On the way home, Elizabeth stays quiet while Teddy talks about his day animatedly. **I want to laugh at the revelation of Teddy's girlfriend. My baby is seven; if he has a girlfriend now, I can just imagine how many girlfriends he will have at seventeen.

"Will Daddy be home for dinner?" he asks.

I nod, "Yep, he will be."

Teddy beams, "Cool, I want to ask him something."

"What do you want to ask him that you can't ask me?" I ask offended, "Is it about your girlfriend?"

"Mom," he whines, "I don't have a girlfriend…."

"So Mrs. Hudson was lying?" I ask.

"No…" he says thoughtfully, "I just have girl who keeps following me around." Oh dear.

"Following you around, huh?"

Sawyer pulls into the driveway of our ten acre home on the sound and I am disappointed that I don't see Christian's car yet. "Is Mr. Grey's car in the garage?" I ask, full of hope.

"No Ma'am," he says as the car stops. Elizabeth bolts out of the vehicle and I know we'll need to have a conversation very soon. Teddy allows me to get out of the car with him and hold onto his hand. I wasn't prepared to have a teenager this soon; I miss the sweetness of the innocent.

When we get inside the house, I pull out Teddy's homework and fix him a quick snack. I lean over to leave my sweet boy a kiss on the cheek. "Do you mind if I go check on your sister?"

He shakes his head. "Did she get in trouble again?"

I snicker and nod, "I'll be right back buddy."

I walk nervously up the stairs and knock on Elizabeth's door. She doesn't say anything so I open the door and walk in. Her legs are crossed on her bed and her head is propped by her little fists. I don't know how she'll react so I decide to just talk.

"I did not raise you to bully other girls Elizabeth Evelyn Grey," I tell her, "I can't believe you would do something like this. You're too sweet of a girl to hurt other people…." She takes in a deep breath, and I know she is about to cry. Honestly, if she cries – that's on her. She has no doubt made other little girls cry, and she should be accountable for her actions.

"They could kick you out for something like this…. They're not and you're so lucky that you just got a warning today. People have killed themselves over this type of treatment, Elizabeth. I know your sweet heart, and I know you would be heartbroken if one of the girls in your grade hurt themselves or possibly caused irreversible harm over something you said…."

She begins softly crying and I take a seat next to her. "Your Dad and I will talk when he gets home, but you're grounded for a time we'll decide later. No electronics, no visiting anyone, no fun. Also, I want you to write one page "I'm sorry" notes to everyone you hurt. Think about it, because I bet you've hurt more people then you realize."

I leave her a soft kiss on her cheek before I leave. "Get started on your homework and then your letters…. You have a lot to do tonight."

I leave and walk downstairs to check on Ted. My energy already feels depleted. I want Christian to come home and I want him home now.

**The night moves on and Christian doesn't show. **I've called and called, and I keep getting his voicemail. If it wasn't for Sawyer sending me messages from Taylor, I would be worried that he is dead on the side of the road. When I clean up dinner and help my kids get ready for bed, I see Teddy's disappointment. He wanted to talk to Christian about something, and I know he is sad that he never got the opportunity.

When Ted gets into bed, I decide to try to help wipe that sad look off his face. "What did you want to talk to your Dad about? I am sure I can help."

Ted sighs, "I wanna sign up for baseball…."

"We can sign you up for baseball bud," I tell him, "That's no problem. Why didn't you tell me?"

He shakes his head, "I don't know. Dad likes baseball more then you…."

He wanted to make his Dad proud. My heart breaks and I leave him small kisses on his forehead. "Tonight was just one night. Your Dad will be so psyched when he hears this. We'll sign you up…. No big deal bud."

Teddy smiles brightly and my heart swells. I love this little boy so much. "Thanks Mom…. Good night!"

I tuck him in and kiss him one last time. "Good night baby." I say goodnight to a somber Elizabeth and head to bed alone.

**I feel arms wrap around my midsection and I conform to the shape that is joining me in bed. **

"I didn't mean to wake you," he whispers gruffly in my ear.

Everything about my day comes back to me. I sit up and push him off. He looks insulted that I am pushing him away and that only makes me angrier.

"You said you were coming to dinner…. Why the hell did you not call me?"

"Didn't Sawyer give you my messages?" I swear; I could hit him right now.

"That doesn't replace you actually talking to me…. What the hell were you doing tonight?" I ask, my voice getting louder.

"I've acquired new companies babe - which takes time."

"Do not call me babe – you can call me baby, but don't ever call me babe," I hiss at him, "Your daughter was almost suspended today from school for bullying and your son wants to play baseball and he wanted to talk to you about it and you weren't here…."

He runs his hands through his copper hair, and I try not to let his insane good looks to deter me from my anger. After eight years of marriage, I still want him – badly. Even when he is being a pain in the ass, I still want him so much.

He has been working insane hours these past couple of weeks, and it doesn't feel like I have seen him at all. I hope he feels the same way about me - I'd like to think he still loves coming home to me every night. He claims to be working, and I really hope that's true.

"I'm sorry," he says with a deep sigh, "I'll talk to Ted about baseball."

"You don't get it," I huff at him, "You didn't see him tonight. He wanted you and you weren't there."

"Ana," he says, trying to sound calm while my temperature rises, "I am working and I am trying to give you everything you need."

"Baby, we're past that," I grumble, "We have it… we want you now."

"Once these deals go through, thing should calm down…."

"You don't get it," I say, hopping out of bed.

He follows me as I walk to the kitchen. "Of course I get it."

"I have deals and deadlines just like everyone else and I still came home in time to pick our kids up from school…."

As I walk into the kitchen, I decide to make tea. Sometimes movement helps me not A) Bust into tears, and B ) commit murder. When I read 2:45 AM on the clock, I turn to Christian with surprise.

"Who the fuck works till 2:30 AM?"

"Sometimes this happens…"

"It doesn't have to…." I snap back.

"Listen, I am sorry for coming home at 2:30 when you've obviously had a tough day," he tells me, trying to placate me, "But I couldn't get away…. It was too important."

I choke on the tea I am attempting to drink. "It was too important that you couldn't call me or answer my phone calls, it was too important not to have dinner with your own family…"

He slumps over the counter and I know he regrets his words. I am too angry to stand here any longer. I throw my cup into the sink and walk back to my bedroom. I don't care where he sleeps as long as he doesn't touch me. I'm so mad, I can barely breathe.

**A/N – ok, before I get millions of comments about it – there will be no cheating involved. They're going through a rough patch, but it's not cheating. So no one say the C word! Lol. Now – I am not saying Ana isn't going to think of the possibility because I think that's a natural assumption but I am promising now it's not going to happen. **


	39. Playing Hooky

**A/N – I don't own FSOG! Thank you so much for all the comments from the last chapter! It's good to see I have people still hanging with me! You guys are the best! **

**Part 2: Chapter 39 – Playing Hooky **

**Christian **

** As I settle into the couch, I try to get comfortable.** I know it's a losing battle. I have slept on this couch a lot over the past eight years of our marriage. Anastasia and I fight with the best of them. Up to this point, I have never had a long stay on this couch. I don't think I have ever pulled a full night on this lumpy piece of crap. Usually when Anastasia and I fight, she'll send me to the couch, and then she'll pull me back into the bedroom for some fucking splendid make up sex.

Tonight, I know that I won't get make up sex. She's mad, and rightfully so. It's Marriage 101 – never tell your wife that your role is more important. I make a lot of money for my family, and saying my job is more important is pushing money in her face and saying "I win." I have always wanted to shower my wife and kids with my money, and never turn it into some kind of "power play".

My mother told me one time that Ana automatically wins because she gave me Ted and Elizabeth. As I don't plan on pushing a kid out of my lower regions any time soon, I naturally agree with her. Fuck, I really screwed up.

As I stare up at my ceiling, I try to recall what Ana said about our kids. Elizabeth almost got suspended for bullying and Ted wants to sign up for Little League. I can call Elliot tomorrow about Ted signing up for Little League. I actually meant to suggest this earlier to my son – perfect timing. The Elizabeth situation baffles me – she almost got suspended for bullying? That doesn't sound like my daughter at all.

"Daddy," I hear a quiet sob in the silence.

I sit up and see my little girl standing in front of me. She is crying…. No, not crying – sobbing. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Where you and Mommy fighting?" she sobs out

She crawls on the couch and curls into my side. She is still crying and I hate it. I hate to make my baby sad. She may look like me, but when she cries – she is all Ana. That's why it probably hurts more.

"We were," I tell her honestly, "But it wasn't anything for you to worry about."

She places her head into the crook of my neck. "Yeah, but that sounded bad…."

"Honey, look at me," I say as I grab the sides of her face, "Your Mom and I are fine. We got in an argument - when you live with someone for a long period of time – that happens. But I promise baby, I love your mother and we always fix whatever issues we have. We did that before you came along, and we'll continue to do that."

Elizabeth nods, her gray eyes calming down. "Are you sure?"

I nod and I kiss her forehead. "I am positive. You don't need to worry."

Her worried expression doesn't seem to be improving. We sit in silence longer, and I wait for her to say whatever is on her mind. She takes in a deep breath. "I'm afraid you and Mommy will get a divorce."

I take in a calming breath, "Why would you think we're getting a divorce?"

"Well…." She huffs, "You haven't been at home these past couple weeks, and Mommy is always angry at you…. And…"

"Honey, I just told you that we'll be ok…. why would you still think that we're getting a divorce?"

"Marissa Glickman's parents are getting a divorce…." She sobs, "And she told me that her Dad hasn't been at their house in months."

Well fuck - why is my daughter hanging out with the spawn of the Glickman's? I now see why she has gotten in trouble at school – their family is trouble. Anthony Glickman is a man whore and he has been cheating on Chelsea Glickman for years. I hate that we're even in the same social circles – they are horrible people.

"Do not listen to Marissa Glickman. Her parents are different from your parents," I tell her adamantly.

"Are you sure?" she asks.

"Yes, please don't worry;" I tell her, "I love your mother too much to ever entertain the thought of a divorce."

She nods, "Ok."

"Alright, while you're up," I move on, "Young lady, what is this I hear about bullying?"

"I started a club at school and was mean to people we didn't invite in," she takes in a deep breath, "Dad… Mom already made me feel bad enough."

It suddenly hits me - Ana had to take care of this all by herself. We've always dealt with Elizabeth and Ted (but mostly Elizabeth) together. No matter how busy we've both been – we've both taken care of it together. I hate this so damn much.

"How did Mom react?"

"She told me that people hurt themselves every day for being picked on at school…. And she made me write a letter to every person I've ever hurt by being mean. I've also been grounded but you were supposed to come up with how many weeks."

Damn, Ana was thorough, but I totally agree with all of this. Elizabeth knows better. We raised her better.

"How many letters did you write tonight?" I ask as I wipe a tear from her cheek.

"Fifteen."

Fuck. Elizabeth does know better than that. "I'd say a week for every person you hurt." She'll have the opportunity to get off for good behavior, but I won't tell her that now.

Her jaw drops, "Seriously?"

"Seriously," I tell her, "You will never do anything like this again. You're too good to act like that."

She nods solemnly, "Ok Daddy."

I leave her a kiss on the forehead and hug her tight. "I love you baby."

"I love you too Daddy."

"Go to bed," I command, "You have school in the morning." She nods and for the first time since she walked downstairs, she is smiling …. one problem down, two more to go.

**I must have slept only an hour on that damn couch. **The sounds of Gail making breakfast and my son's feet scattering across the floor upstairs are what wakes me up. I quickly move the blankets and sheets off the couch. One kid already knows I slept on the couch last night; I don't want Ted knowing too.

I toss the sheets into a closet and head to my bathroom. I enter and immediately stop as soon as I see her. Eight years and she still makes my heart stop. Her chestnut brown hair is pinned in a bun on the top of her head, and she is wearing a tight tan dress with the sexiest pair of black heels. Fuck – I can't take my eyes off her body.

"Do you need something?" she asks rather harshly. How is her feisty side still so damn hot?

I take in a deep breath, "I… need to get ready for work…."

She nods, "Fine."

"I'm picking the kids up from school today," I tell her.

She nods, "They need to be picked up at 3:00. On the dot."

"Yes Ana, I know when to pick up my children."

"Do you?" she snaps. I take in a deep breath, trying to calm my anger. I deserved that. "It's good that you're picking them up today…. I have a doctor's appointment today. I totally forgot about it."

"Everything ok?" I ask her.

She nods, "Yeah…. Just a checkup."

Without anything else to say, I start stripping for my shower. The tension is thick in the air, and I try not to focus on all five foot six inches of terrifyingly sexy female. My instincts betray me and I glance quickly at her. She is staring, verging on gawking at me. That's right baby, eat this up.

"You see something you like, Mrs. Grey?" I ask as I pull down my pants.

She shakes her head and says nothing. I step out of my pants and pull down my boxers. She takes in a sharp breath, and I know I am wearing her down. Fuck it, I need to touch her, and she is going to let me.

I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. My hardening cock is firmly pressed into her behind and I inhale the scent I missed last night. She takes in a sharp breath and I know she is affected.

"Christian," she pleads.

"I'm so sorry," I choke out, "I'll make this up to you."

She pulls away and I slump over as I hear her heels click on the marble floor. This isn't going to be fixed with sex or nudity. I really need to get my shit together before it's too late.

**Work has been nothing but busy for months and this morning is no exception. **Around lunch time, I finally have time to call my brother about Little League. Elliot and Kate got back together soon after Ana and I got married. I don't know the details of their reconciliation; I just know that she is still as annoying as ever.

Kate pushed out twin boys, Marshall and Maddox, soon after Ted was born and Elliot coaches everything they're ever involved in. I don't want some stupid fucker coaching Ted, I'd prefer this fall into the hands of someone I trust. Elliot knows what he's doing and I feel confident in my brother's abilities.

"I can't believe you haven't called me sooner man…" Elliot says happily over the phone, "He'll be great."

"Thank you for making room for him."

Elliot laughs, "Are you kidding, you would kick my ass if I didn't. How are you man, I haven't talked to you in months."

I take in a deep breath. "Things are fine." I definitely don't sound convincing.

"Stuff wrong with the misses?" Elliot asks.

I solemnly laugh, "Yeah, kind of."

"Well…. Just don't cheat on her bro. That didn't work out too well for me." I want to reply back that it did because Kate is the absolute worst, but I refrain to comment.

"Well, send me the list of stuff Ted needs and I'll be sure to get it."

We say our goodbyes and two minutes later, a supply list shows up in my email. I send the list to one of the men on my security team with the expectation that everything will be purchased by late this afternoon. From here, I make my escape. Ana won't like my plan for this afternoon, but after everything, I need to do this.

**I saunter into the kid's school, and go immediately to the office. **The secretary smiles her approval when she recognizes me. This might be the second time I've walked into this office - I have obviously made an impact.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Grey. Can I help you?"

"Yeah, Ted's got a doctor's appointment that I forgot about and Elizabeth wasn't feeling so good this morning so I need to take her too…."

The secretary scrunches her eyebrows. "Elizabeth seemed fine to me."

I nod, trying to pull this out of my ass. "She is a good actress. I'd like to get her checked just to make sure it isn't serious." I wink at her and I see her visibly sigh.

"Of course, Mr. Grey…. I'll get them immediately."

After five more minutes of waiting, I see my son round the corner. "Daddy!" he squeals as he runs full speed into my arms, "Where are we going?"

I bend down to his level. "You have a checkup that I forgot to tell you about and I am taking you."

"Ok," he shrugs happily, "This is the most I have ever been excited for the doctor!"

I ruffle his little head and smile. "I love you buddy."

Elizabeth is next and her face suddenly gets serious. Before she can say a word, I move within whisper distance.

"You're sick and you're coming with Ted and me to the doctor."

She looks confused for a half a second, but finally it registers. "This is awesome," she beams.

"Cough a little bit baby," I whisper, "Sell it."

She coughs over dramatically in the office and the secretary's face fills with concern.

"Feel better Elizabeth."

"I will Mrs. Dewitt," she says as she coughs again. I pull my kids away from the office and to the waiting SUV. Once they're both inside and secure, I share my master plan.

"Ok, we're playing hooky today kids."

Taylor pulls away from the school and Ted's nose scrunches in confusion. "What's hooky?"

"We're not actually going to those doctor's appointments," Elizabeth informs him, "Dad is taking us somewhere fun."

Ted gasps, "So you lied to my teachers?"

Elizabeth rolls her eyes. "We did lie, Ted," I tell him honestly, "But I haven't really seen you guys in weeks and I wanted to spend the day with two of my favorite people."

"Mom is going to lose it," Elizabeth snorts.

"She is," I say with a nod, "But don't worry about Mom…. Ted, we're going to go find you a pair of baseball cleats."

If he was upset about our lies earlier, there is no evidence on his face now. "BASEBALL CLEATS?" he beams.

"Yep…. and bats and baseball clothes…. You're trying on all of that today," I tell him, "I signed you up – you're going to be on Uncle Elliot and Maddox's team."

"Thanks DAD!" he cheers happily. God, I love seeing that kid ecstatic.

"Since you're grounded Elizabeth," I begin, turning to my daughter, "I can't really get you anything."

She shrugs, "I can live with that. You got me out of a math test."

A math test – shit. Ana is going to be pissed. The damage is done. I just hope Ana doesn't end up murdering me before today is over.

**After a successful afternoon, Ted is fully outfitted in baseball clothing and supplies. **Elizabeth found a book and has seated herself in the front yard while I work on baseball fundamentals with my son. It's been a good afternoon, and I have realized that I cannot let these last few weeks happen again. I need to make time for my family – plain and simple.

"Man, Ted. You're doing awesome. You're going to kill those other kids on your team."

"You really think so Dad?" he asks, his blue eyes wide with excitement.

"Oh yeah," I tell him as ruffle his hair, "You're going to be great."

He beams at the praise and my heart swells. Suddenly, I hear the sound of cars coming up the drive, and I feel my heart plummet. Here we go, Ana is about to go ape shit.

Her car rather quickly comes to a stop and she immediately exits in a visible huff. "Elizabeth," Ana practically screams, "Take your brother upstairs and have him do his homework. You'll do yours as well."

Elizabeth looks awkwardly at her brother. "Ummmmm…"

As Ana walks closer to where we are standing, she shuffles through her brief case and pulls out a stack of papers. "Here is the homework I picked up from the school after they called to inform me they had it. I had no clue you BOTH were sick – this is news to me," Ana bites out, "Elizabeth, take your brother upstairs and help him with his homework."

Ted is on the verge of tears and I feel like a fucking ass hole. Ana sees his emotional state and leans over to hug him. She whispers in his ear and leaves a small kiss on his cheek. He follows his sister inside and I am left with my angry wife.

"Ana…. Let me explain."

"It seems pretty fucking clear to me Christian," she yells, "You couldn't make time for us so when it was convenient for you – you decided to take our kids out of school to play Dad of the year. Christian, Elizabeth missed a math test. A really important fucking math test…."

"I'm sorry…." I whisper, "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"You're really good at doing the right thing in the absolute wrong ways," Ana snaps as she storms inside. I follow her inside and she slams her briefcase down on the counter.

"You're right."

She shakes her head and closes her eyes. "I can't keep doing this… I don't know what's going on at work, but I need you and you can't even be there for me. I am going to end up a lonely corporate wife…. Me and my three ki…."

She cuts herself off and our eyes meet. Was she going to say what I think she was going to say? "No no, finish that sentence…." I prompt her, "What were you saying?" She takes in a deep breath and closes her eyes. After she doesn't continue her thought, I decide to prompt her. "Ana…. What was your doctor appointment about today?"

She gulps, eyes still closed. "A routine checkup."

"A routine checkup?"

"Well…. It started that way," she sighs, "But yeah…. Apparently my shot failed or finished early... and I'm pregnant."

**A/N – Humor me, and let me write a long ass author's note - So Monday night I found out about a friend of mine husband's left her for another woman. She has a kid with the douche and is probably one of the sweetest people – it's a tough situation. So Monday was a rough day. Tuesday, I sat down and thought about this story and I decided that I can get these two through this without cheating. I know it's the norm for cheating stories, and douchebag men, but in the honor of my friend and my characters – I have decided to take this story in a different direction. I want hope for my friend that there are men out there who will hold your hand when life gets tough and you can walk through bad shit together – her husband didn't do that for her and I know he doesn't represent the population. So part 2 will be them walking together through this little bump in the road. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, thank you for letting me share, please keep my friend and her son in your thoughts and prayers (if you're so inclined to pray), and please let me know what you think. **


	40. Dinner with Evelyn

**A/N – Work starts back for me soon so frequent updates will begin to decrease! Gosh, I am going to miss the summer! Lol **

**Thanks so much for your well wishes for my friend! You guys are the best! And to re-iterate to those of you who didn't understand – NO CHEATING! Lol We're going to work through this stuff the old school way. Lol. Enjoy and please tell me what you think! **

**I don't own FSOG**

**Chapter 40 – Dinner with Evelyn **

**Ana**

** Christian and I didn't talk much after my announcement. **I know Christian wanted to talk, I saw his unsure but excited eyes, but I just can't deal with him right now. I am still really mad and I just need to get away and cool off.

Before I leave, my first priority is my son. My baby boy is sweet and incredibly sensitive and after my blow up in front of Christian, I wanted to make sure Ted was ok. I think this is what makes me the maddest at Christian, Ted is seven and lives to seek approval from his Dad and me. Breaking the rules and seeing Mommy and Daddy mad at each other would break his sweet little heart. I am glad that Ted and Christian spent some time together playing baseball, but I didn't want it like this.

"You ok baby boy?" I whisper as he melds into my side.

"I'm so sorry Mommy….," he replies, little tears threatening to erupt, "Do you think Mrs. Hudson will be mad at me?"

"Hey…. It's ok. You got to spend time with your Dad – that's good. I'll work everything else out with your teacher. Don't worry sweet boy. None of this is your fault."

He nods and I kiss his little cheek. "Are you and Daddy mad at each other?" he asks as a few tears rolls down his face.

I wipe them away. "We are but we love each other and that's more important."

"You love Daddy even when he makes you mad?"

I can't help but smile at his question. At the end of the day, even when he pisses me off – I still love the idiot.

"Yes I do," I tell him. He still looks confused but at the very least he looks relieved and that will help me sleep better tonight. "I'm going out to dinner with Aunt Evelyn, but Daddy is taking care of dinner for you and your sister."

The smile I love so much sweeps across his face. "Daddy bought me all kinds of baseball stuff!"

"He did?" I ask brushing his hair out of the way.

He nods his head adamantly, "My first practice is next week. I'm so excited. Dad thinks I am going to kill everyone on the team."

I laugh, "Well, I hope you don't kill everyone on your team."

He looks at me with exasperation, "Well no duh, Mom."

"Right," I say with a laugh, "My baby is too sweet to do something like that."

He rolls his eyes again as I kiss him goodbye. I walk downstairs, dressed and ready to leave for dinner with Evelyn. Christian looks at me nervously, and I try not to meet his gaze.

"Be safe with Ev," Christian says softly, "Ryan and Reynolds will accompany you to dinner."

My eyes go to his in shock. "Ryan and Reynolds?" I ask as it suddenly hits me, "Oh my god. Christian…. I don't need two security team members just because I'm pregnant."

He shakes his head. He won't budge, and no amount of convincing will change his mind. I resign myself and walk out the door.

"_I love you"_ are the last words I hear before the door shuts behind me.

**Evelyn has been quite busy since I married Christian. **She and Reynolds now have five kids - five fucking kids. Their oldest Scarlett is in third grade and is Reynold's carbon copy. Evelyn's second pregnancy resulted in twin boys. Owen and Ryder are in Kindergarten and are the second and third most precious little boys I have ever met. Two years ago, Evelyn gave birth to her second daughter and Evelyn's carbon copy Paisley. Number five is four months from making his grand entrance into the world and Ev and Joe have finally settled on the name Noah. Basically, the Reynolds home is a baby factory.

Even in the middle of the Reynold's zoo, Evelyn and Joseph are still insane about each other. Their lives are busy and chaotic but they've made it work. We obviously don't get a lot of time together anymore, and I treasure all the time we can manage to squeeze. I called tonight hoping she could make some time for me. We usually don't do emergency dinners, but Reynolds was very accommodating this evening and Evelyn was able to meet me on such short notice.

Evelyn is already seated when I walk into our new favorite restaurant "The Cypress". Her blonde hair is tossed into a massive bun on the top of her head and her stomach is popped adorably out in front of her. God, I wish I could be that cute pregnant.

She smiles when she me. "Hey Ana."

"Hey Ev…. Thanks for coming out tonight."

She waves her hand as we hug. "No problem…. Joseph is used to taking care of four kids by now."

I laugh, "Are you serious?"

She smiles, "I've trained him well."

I take a seat and the waiter comes to take our orders. Once the waiter walks away, Evelyn gets that expression on her face and I know she wants to talk.

"Ok sis, spill…. Why did you need an emergency meeting tonight?"

"Where do I begin," I start, "How does Joseph deal with running a company and maintaining you and four and a half kids?"

She giggles, "Well it helps that I work from home…. But I know that's not your style."

"Right," I say with a nod, "Well, my husband the CEO has been working like a maniac. I feel like I haven't seen him in weeks and one night he came home at 2:30…."

"Two fucking thirty?" Evelyn hisses.

"Exactly," I reply back, "We haven't been talking, we haven't been communicating, and now he's working ridiculous hours. I know he's a CEO and he's busy, but it's never been like this. He didn't even call me the night he stayed out till 2:30…. I got his messages from Taylor."

"Wow," Evelyn gasps, "What's his problem?"

I shake my head, "I don't know."

"Do you think he is…." Evelyn asks, dropping her voice. I really wish she wouldn't bring up the "C" word.

"God, Ev…. I don't know," I huff, rubbing my temples, "I don't think he is cheating on me… but…."

"I bet he isn't," she says reassuringly, grabbing my hand, "He loves you."

I take in a deep breath and try to change the subject. "So today, Christian tells me he is going to pick up the kids, and I had a doctor's appointment so I thought all was well. Then I get a phone call from the school saying they had the kid's homework. Of course I wondered why they would have it and then they proceed to tell me that Christian took the kids out of school for 'doctor's appointments'…"

Evelyn's head drops, "Oh. My. God."

"Yeah…. He took them out of school. First of all, Elizabeth got in trouble for bullying so she really didn't need to be freed by Daddy…"

"Wait, Elizabeth got in trouble for bullying? That's not something she would do!"

"Exactly," I huff out, "But I have to admit, I love that Ted actually got attention from Christian. He did focus on him."

"This is just weird to me."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"You guys were just so good, and then you just stopped talking to each other…" Evelyn sighs, shaking her head, "The only person who is acting like himself is my precious little Theodore. The rest of you have been abducted by aliens."

"Evelyn," I chastise her.

"It's true…. It's not like you guys to be like this."

I shake my head, "You have such an interesting view on the world."

"It's not interesting, it's the truth," Evelyn "Just talk to your husband."

"All the pleading in the world isn't going to force him to come home at a decent hour," I tell her, "It's like he doesn't want to come home to me."

"Ana, don't be ridiculous," she huffs. As I sit and stare at my sister, I realize I need to let her in on my next bit of news.

"So I had a doctor's appointment today…." Evelyn looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "And…. I'm pregnant."

Her eyes go wide, "Oh my god."

"I know," I say softly.

"How many weeks are you?"

"Seven weeks…."

"Ana," she says, grabbing my hand, "This is why you two need to communicate. You can't let this get worse…. Especially with this baby on the way."

I take in a deep breath, "I know."

"Ok, I'm just throwing this out there – I am not Dr. Flynn, but I'd like to think I am observant. These problems between you two…. I'd say they started around the time you were initially trying for baby number three…."

"We didn't have problems during that time…" I tell her

When I found out I was pregnant with Ted, Christian and I were ecstatic. Like Evelyn and Reyonds, we were planning for more children immediately. As I progressed, my pregnancy got tricky. While I was carrying Ted, several times I thought I could possibly lose him. In one instance, the doctor couldn't find his heartbeat. His delivery wasn't a cake walk either – I was in labor for almost a day and I ended up needing an emergency C-Section.

After Ted was born, I gave myself some time to think and heal. I had a newborn son, and I wasn't ready to make a firm decision about any future children at the moment. Before I came to my own conclusion, Christian decided that we shouldn't have any more children. He was scared for my health, and he couldn't see me go through my tough pregnancy again. Being told I can't have any more children caused me to get angry and resentful. We fought and screamed for months, and finally – Christian got his way. I was too tired to fight, and I already had two children to take care of. I went on the shot and we never spoke about the topic again.

"It wasn't immediate Ana, but somewhere down the line…. Your relationship changed."

I take in a deep breath and I try to hold my emotions together. She's right, and I hate it. She grabs onto my arm and squeezes reassuringly.

"How did he react about the new baby?"

I take in a deep breath, "He didn't really. I didn't give him time to."

"Ana, he loves you. It's going to be ok…."

_Fuck,_ I sure hope so.

"I want to change the subject," I tell her, "How's Noah?"

"Good," she smiles as she caresses her belly, "I can't wait to be finished. I want my baby."

I smile, "So you two are done right? After this kid, you two are finished."

"YES," she tells me adamantly, "Trust me, your Mom is worried about my junk."

I spit my water across the table and she bursts into laughter. "I'm sure she is," I laugh loudly, "God, I can never just have a normal conversation with you."

**When I finally get back home, my house is quiet. **I say my goodnights to Elizabeth and leave a sleeping Ted a kiss on the forehead. I stand outside my bedroom, and I know Christian is in there. I take in a deep breath and try to erase Evelyn's words out of my brain.

_ "It wasn't immediate Ana, but somewhere along the lines things changed between you two…. Your relationship changed."_

I open the door, and he is seated on the bed, reading from his IPad. He looks up at me and I realize how nervous he looks. I throw off my jacket and slip off my heels.

"How's Evelyn," he finally asks.

"Good," I tell him.

He takes in a harsh sigh. "Listen, I don't want you to worry. I am excited about this baby."

Based off how he was last time I wanted to get pregnant, this is a surprise. "Really?"

"I mean, I'm nervous. I am going to be a ball of nerves the entire time you're pregnant. I can't lose you."

"But you're going to be fine with this?" I ask.

"Of course."

"Elizabeth is going to be twenty when this kid is ten…." I remind him, "You'll be sixty when this kid turns twenty."

He nods, "Yes…. The timing is a little – interesting. But everything is going to be ok…. I called the doctor."

"You did what?" I ask in shock.

He nods, "I called Dr. Greene, I expressed my worries, and she gave me reassurance that you are more than capable of having a successful pregnancy. So I feel better."

That makes one of us. "Well…. Good."

"Ana," he sighs, "Can we talk…. God baby, I just want to apologize. I'm so sorry…."

"You know what," I say, shaking my head, "I don't want to talk about any of this tonight. It's been a long ass day and I am exhausted."

I begin stripping for bed, and he stays put. He watches me move around the room, and settles his eyes on my body as I curl up into a ball on our bed. He leans over and kisses me, lightly spreading his fingers across my stomach.

"I love you baby…." he whispers in my ear.

"I love you too…." I whisper back as I drift off to sleep.


	41. From the Mouths of Babes

**A/N – I don't own FSOG. Sorry it's a little short. It's been sitting in my folder, begging me to post it. My world is starting to pick back up so who knows when I'll be able to post again.**

**Thank you so much for all your support! You guys are the best! **

**Chapter 42 – From the mouths of babes**

**Ana**

** Considering my medical history, I have decided to wait to tell anyone that I am pregnant. **Evelyn and Christian have been the only two who have known during my first trimester. It has been tough keeping my news from the kids, they've seen me sick and have been asking questions, but I want to make sure I have made it to the "safe zone" before giving them such life changing information.

As we wait for the kids to finish getting ready for bed, Christian wraps his arm around my waist. He burrows his head into my neck and bites. "Ow," I joke.

I feel his smile. "I have an idea…."

"An idea?"

"I want to take you away for a while…."

I turn to stare him in the eyes. "Excuse me?"

He takes in a deep breath, "We're about to have another baby. I want you all to myself for a few weeks, and frankly, I think we need this."

I take in a sharp sigh, "I don't want to leave them. Especially after this information we're about to give them."

He softly kisses my temple, "Give me two weeks. I don't want to leave them either, but we need time just you and me."

"Can I think about it?"

Before Christian responds, Ted bounds down the hallway. "I'm ready for bed Mommy!"

I lean forward and kiss him on his forehead. "Go sit in your room while you wait for your sister. Mommy and Daddy have something we need to tell you."

He looks confused for a half a second, but eventually turns to walk into his room. I squeeze Christian's arm and move my lips to his ear. "Where do you want to take me?"

"Anywhere that doesn't involve clothing," he says with another playful bite.

I snicker as he kisses me again. Elizabeth rounds the corner and I point to Ted's room. "We need to talk so we're meeting in Ted's room."

Elizabeth suddenly looks worried, "Is there something wrong?"

"No," Christian laughs as he pushes her forward, "Come on little one, let's talk."

"I've been so good these past couple weeks," Elizabeth reminds us. My girl is back to her old self, and I am more than relived. She is my sweet girl again, and nothing makes me happier to see her like this. I was nervous she got a brain transplant without me realizing it.

"Yes you have, and I am so proud of you," I tell her as I scoot her into her bedroom.

We both follow her inside and Elizabeth takes a seat next to her little brother. I sit at the edge of the bed and scoot Ted closer to me. Christian stands by me, holding my other hand.

"So what are we doing Mom?" Elizabeth asks, "Why are we in Ted's room?"

I take in a deep breath and look up at Christian. He smiles reassuringly and I turn back to our kids. I squeeze Ted, and take in another deep breath.

"Ok guys, me and your Dad have some news …. This is pretty big and it's going to change a lot around here."

Elizabeth gasps, "Are you guys getting a divorce?"

Ted's little eyes turn grave and I shake my head adamantly. "No… no…. no…. We aren't getting a divorce. We aren't the Glickman's. We won't go down that road."

Ted sighs and I hold him closer. Elizabeth shakes her head, "Ok…. then what is going on?"

Christian finally goes for it. "In about six months, you guys are going to have a younger brother or sister…."

Ted's little face lights up but Elizabeth looks confused. "Where are we getting the baby?" Ted asks.

Christian and I both chuckle. "Son, Your mother is pregnant. The baby is going to come out of her."

"SERIOUSLY?" Elizabeth gasps, "That's insane. Aren't you too old to have a baby, Mom?"

I take an exasperated breath while I hear Christian stifle a laugh. I can't be offended by this, Elizabeth is ten. My daughter has an excuse for her lack of a filter. Christian on the other hand will die if he says another damn word about my age. I am a thirty five for Pete's sake – I am not that old. Christian is forty; he's the old one in this little situation.

"No honey, I am not too old to have a baby."

"I get to be a big brother?" Ted asks, his eyes light with excitement.

"You do, are you excited sweet boy?" I ask, ruffling his hair.

He nods, "A lot of my friends at school have little brothers. I want a little brother."

I kiss him on the forehead, "I'll try to give you a little brother, but what happens if you get a little sister?"

His nose scrunches, "I guess it would be ok if I get a quiet sister…."

"A quiet sister, got it," I reassure him with a smile. My son is precious so I know he would react this adorably. I don't think I could love my Teddy bear more than I already do.

"I already have one loud sister," he says, pointing at Elizabeth.

"HEY," Elizabeth huffs, "So…. we're having another baby?"

I nod. "Yes, they usually start out like babies," I snicker sarcastically.

She rolls her eyes, "Yeah I know that. So when is this baby going to come? How long is six months from now?"

Elizabeth begins calculating in her head before Christian stops her. "May," Christian tells her, "Your little brother or sister will be here in May."

"When will you know if I am going to have brother or sister?" Ted asks.

"We go to that doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon," I tell them, "Sawyer will pick you up from school."

Elizabeth gasps, "Can I bake a cake that has pink on the inside or blue on the inside and when you guys get home, we'll cut that cake…."

I can't help but laugh at Elizabeth's suggestion. "Where did you come up with that?"

"It was at Aunt Evelyn's house…. After Paisley was born." I did not realize she would notice that.

"I am sure you can ask Gail to help you with that tomorrow," Christian tells her, "Now, since it's getting close to your bed times, do you guys have any other questions for us about this?"

"Where is the baby going to sleep?" Ted asks, "I don't have any room in my room for the baby…."

Christian snickers, "Well good to know. I think we're going to put him or her in between our room and Elizabeth's."

Elizabeth huffs with exasperation. "So it's going to be up and crying all night and I'll hear it."

"Well, the baby is going to stay in our room at first, but we'll figure something out Elizabeth," I reassure her, "Don't worry, you'll get your sleep."

Both kids nod with satisfaction. "So wait," Ted begins. He rubs my small bump and focuses intently. "How did the baby get in there…?"

Christian and I turn to each other with terrified expressions. "Alright guys, time for bed," Christian announces suddenly, "Oh hey, by the way guys – next week your Mom and I are going out of town for a week and then we'll be back for Christmas Break in Aspen."

My jaw drops. Christian Grey discussed none of this with me. He just pulled that decision out of his ass. I don't care if it's just a fucking week – I don't want to leave them right now. They just found out that there is going to be a new baby in the house in seven months' time, I want as much time with them as I can get. On the other hand, Aspen for Christmas is a great idea, but I am not going to tell him that right now. He needs to wait before he makes grand announcements - I thought I had a vote.

The kids voice their displeasure about losing us next week, but they both sound excited for Christmas in Aspen. It will be our last family Holiday as a family of four. The thought is both exciting and bittersweet.

As we make it back to our bedroom, I pull the silent treatment. I cannot believe this little streak he is on – "make the decisions, ask Ana later."

"Ana….," he says from his closet, "I know you're mad…."

"What could you possibly mean?" I laugh haughtily; "I love it when my husband makes decisions without consulting me first."

"Watch your smart mouth," he says, pulling off his blue button up. I stop and gaze longingly at my husband's perfect abdominals. He smiles salaciously and I curse myself for giving in. Fucking pregnancy hormones. "You like what you see Mrs. Grey?"

He saunters towards me and pulls me close. I inhale his scent and run my fingers through his soft copper hair. "You know I do," I say, trying to sound confident when I feel anything but confident.

"Just think…. A week of you, me, and a beach."

Images of naked flesh and hot sweat fill my brain. Images of us rolling around in bed, and rolling around on a private beach – I am surprised I am still able to stand. My pregnancy hormones are taking over as I fantasize about us together, naked, and blissfully happy. I have a love/hate relationship with my hormones right now.

"I just wish you'd discuss things with me," I tell him, "Let me in on your plans once in a while Grey."

"I'm sorry," he says, kissing my temple, "It's just…. when I get a thought in my head…. I can't let it go."

"It is a good thought," I tell him, "And Aspen sounds amazing for Christmas."

He nods with satisfaction, "Our last memories as a family of four."

"We're about to be a family of five…. And tomorrow, we won't have to call this baby a he/she because he/she will finally have a gender."

Christian smiles wide, "I think we're giving Ted another loud girl…. I feel bad for my little guy."

"You really think so?"

He nods, "I just have a feeling…. I can't explain it. What about you?"

I shrug, "I'd just like a healthy, happy baby."

He tenses up, and pulls me back into his body. "We will," he says into my hair, "Don't worry baby, we will."

I take in a deep breath. Tomorrow, I prepare to leave for a week to an island of Christian's choosing, and I am finding out if I am carrying a boy or a girl. Life is about to take off whether I am ready for it or not.


	42. One Step Forward

**A/N – Sorry for the delay, School is underway AND I have posted another story. No worries, I will see this one to the end. If you do want me to update more, I usually tend to get loquacious when I get lots of feedback. I am not trying to be manipulative - I am just stating a fact. ;-) **

**I don't own FSOG. **

**Chapter 42 – One Step Forward… **

**Ana**

** Christian is getting closer to the airport and it has just occurred to me that neither of us has spoken a word since the doctor's office. **I think we're both still in shock.I am nervous and I am waiting on Christian to react. I am waiting for his freak out because I am freaking out.

"Can we call the kids before we leave?"

"They're at school," he says softly. He is still stoic and I would kill to know what he is thinking right now.

"You can sweet talk the secretary to call them down to talk to us," I joke, "I want to tell my kids."

"I don't sweet talk the secretary," he answers back defensively.

"Then how'd you get them out of school?" I ask him.

He snickers, "Baby…. I lied and turned on the charm."

"Sweet talk."

"Fine, it's sweet talk. Whatever," he huffs. I squeeze his hand as he pulls into where our private jet is located. He stops the car, and turns to me. "So you want to call them?"

I nod, "I have to tell them. I won't survive the week without it."

I dial the phone and wait until the secretary picks up. I ask her to call our children down, and that we urgently need to talk to them. I might have made it sound like there is a death in the family - whatever. They're my kids – if I want to call them during school, I can call them during school.

We sit in silence as we wait. I know that we're both still stunned by this. This is insane news, and I know neither of us has processed everything yet.

"Mrs. Grey, while I have you on the phone," The secretary chimes in, breaking the silence, "I wanted to confirm a few things. Your daughter, Elizabeth, is going home with your mother-in-law, Grace Grey, this week and your son will be going home with your brother-in-law, Elliot Grey?"

I roll my eyes. Elizabeth is staying with my in-laws this week. I wish Teddy could also stay with them for the entire week, but Christian overruled me on that one. Ted is staying with Elliot and Kate so he can easily make it to his first Little League game. Elliot is Ted's coach and the logistics just made sense. Kate and I have kept the peace for some time now, but that doesn't mean I enjoy Ted staying in that witch's house. It's a damn good thing that Ted loves his cousins and his uncle or my children would never be near the bitch.

"Yes ma'am, you've got it right. Elliot Grey should be picking Ted up and Elizabeth will go home with my mother-in-law…. Please call me if you have a problem with any of that this week."

"Not a problem, Mrs. Grey," she replies back, "Alright, your kids are in the conference room…. I'll put the phone on speaker."

I squeeze Christian's hand and turn instantly nervous. The kids are going to freak out.

"Mommy!" both kids squeal over the line.

"Hey…." Christian huffs, "I'm here too."

"I love you too Daddy," Elizabeth says with a snicker. Christian smiles affectionately and I feel my ovaries burst.

"So before we left for the week, we wanted to give you guys some news….."

"It's the boy or girl news," Elizabeth beams happily; "I'm so ready!"

"Me too," Ted chimes in.

I take in a deep breath, "You guys are getting a little brother."

"YEAH!" Ted squeals, "I'm so excited!"

"A brother," Elizabeth huffs, "I don't want another little brother."

"Well that's good," Christian begins, "Because you're getting a little sister too."

The line goes quiet and Christian and I gaze at each other anxiously. I hear the secretary giggle in the background and I know she gets it. Unless the doctor read the ultra sound wrong, we're having twins – one boy and one girl. Christian and I are both freaked.

"YOU'RE HAVING TWINS?" Elizabeth practically screams, "TWINS, THEY'RE GOING TO BE TWO LOUD BABIES INSTEAD OF ONE?"

"How does that even happen?" Ted asks confused, "We're getting twins?"

"We are…. and we wanted to tell you guys before we left for the week," Christian tells them.

"I can't believe this is happening," Elizabeth says in shock, "I am having twin babies."

"You aren't having twin babies," I remind her with a laugh, "I will be doing that…."

"But I'll help take care of them," Elizabeth informs me, "Honestly Mom."

"So are you two going to be ok?" Christian asks.

"NO!" Elizabeth huffs, "This is a nightmare. Four kids in one house…. I am about to live in a zoo!"

"I'm excited," Ted chimes in, "Just keep the girl away from me…. I'll only help with the boy Mama."

I shake my head, my kids are a mess. We say our final goodbyes and Christian reminds Ted to tell Aunt Kate or Grandma to tape his Little League game Wednesday night. I have no doubt that Kate will bestow that responsibility on my mother-in-law. Lazy, hateful, slutty bitch.

"Are you sure you want to leave the week of Ted's first Little League Game?"

"No," he says, shaking his head, "But we're running out of options as far as time for just the two of us. Mom will tape the game, and I'll be at the others. It's our only option."

I nod, "Whatever you say."

"Will you ever not hate Kate? It's getting old Ana…."

I smack him on the arm, "Don't ever say that to me."

"It's not that she doesn't deserve it…. We just see them all the time, and it would be nice…."

"No, it would not be nice," I interrupt him, "That bitch is dead to me."

He shrugs as he helps me out of the car. "Whatever you say…."

** I want to laugh as we pull into the Fairmont Chateau in Whistler Canada. **I was not expecting to take the GEH Private Jet to Canada. We're going to Aspen next week for Christmas so I wasn't expecting us to end up in Canada for our week vacation. I was expecting something tropical with hot, sweaty sex.

"Are you even going to let me ski while we're here?" I ask Christian as the driver stops.

He looks at me with a smirk and I know his answer is no. "Sorry baby…."

"So what are we going to do here?" I ask, "I was picturing hot, naked, sweaty bodies rolling around on the beach… your lips all over my body, licking and sucking at my skin. My lips moving up and down your…."

"Dear God woman," Christian breathes in sharply, "Not in front of Sawyer."

I suddenly turn red when I realize that Sawyer is still sitting in the driver's seat. "Sorry Sawyer," I apologize.

He extricates himself from the car, and I turn to Christian. "So you weren't expecting snow…."

"I wasn't expecting snow," I tell him honestly.

He leans over to kiss me. "I'm sorry…. But there are plenty of activities in Whistler for me and my pregnant wife."

Sawyer helps me out of the car and Christian and I begin walking towards the front door, hand in hand. I kiss his knuckles and I look up at Christian with expectation.

"What kind of activities are you thinking about, Mr. Grey?"

"Well, besides the one you so vividly described in the car - we can go on a sleigh ride, you can go shopping for yourself and the babies, and we can frolic in the snow…."

"Frolic?" I say with a laugh, "Christian Grey, did you just say frolic?"

"I did say frolic, Mrs. Grey," he says as he wraps his arm around my neck. He leaves me a soft kiss and he pulls me to the elevator.

"Well, let's frolic in our bedroom," I say as the doors close. I wrap my arms around my neck and he grabs my ass. I wrap my legs around his waist and I hold on tight.

"You haven't fucked me in an elevator for a while," I tell him, "The last time…. we were just two kids having random sex with no emotional attachment."

"Maybe not for you," he snickers before our lips lock. "I don't want to fuck you here."

"Where do you want to fuck me?" I ask as our kisses become deeper.

"I want you in our suite," he says as he pulls on my bottom lip, "We can recreate another great moment from that day."

"And what is that," I pant as the elevator doors open. Christian lets me down and I turn to see our suite for the first time.

My mouth drops. I step out into the open room, and take in my surroundings. We're in the Penthouse Suite but this is no normal Penthouse. I feel like I am standing in a magical, snow cabin, wonderland. There is white plush furniture, dark marble flooring, and chestnut paneling. It's as "high end" of a cabin as I will ever be in. I feel like I could curl up on a couch with Christian and read my life away.

Christian wraps his arm around my stomach and nuzzles into my neck. "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?"

"A re-creation to be exact."

"Go to the bedroom baby," he whispers in my ear. He points to the bedroom and I head forward. I turn the corner and open the massive doors to the master bedroom. I walk through and take in the massive plush, four poster bed with a white canopy.

I notice a box in the middle of the bed, and I walk for it, knowing this is from Christian. I undo the red ribbon and pop open the box. I smile as I see the contents inside. I read the note and I can't help but laugh.

_** Marble floors, Red Lingerie, you and me – a reminder of the day I made you mine. More than ten years later, and you still can't run in heels.**_

"I can run in heels," I murmur to myself.

"No you can't," I hear from the other room, "Get that lingerie on now."__

Desire pools deep inside of me, and I am suddenly very excited to re-create one of the best nights of my life.

**Christian **

** A beautiful naked body is draped across my front and I will tear off my arm before I let her leave my side. **She squirms, trying to get away, but I pull her closer. She snickers and tries again moving her naked back away from my naked front. I pull her tighter and she eventually gives up.

"Christian, I needto pee…."

I groan and let her go. She gets up and I hear her feet patter across the marble. I prop my arm up look across the floor and smile. Her red lingerie is spread across the marble floor, just like that day in Escala, and it looks fucking phenomenal. God, a full week of this – I am a lucky bastard.

"Christian," I hear across the suite.

"Yes baby," I yell back at her.

"I want to get ice cream…"

I laugh, "Ice Cream…. Baby, we're in fucking Canada."

"The babies want ice cream…."

I laugh, "Well if the babies want ice cream…"

She walks back out, her naked body smacking me in the face. "Let's get ice cream…. Now…. I want peanut butter ice cream…. And hot sauce…. And pickles."

And here we go with the food cravings. My favorite was making her grilled cheese then driving around town for truffles. When we got home, she dug through our refrigerator for asparagus, and then topped it off with peanut butter M&Ms. I can only imagine what two babies will do to my wife's eating habits. At least she's guaranteed to eat while she's pregnant. My baby is still way too thin to begin with.

"Let's go…. put some clothes on," I say shaking my head, "That better be the last time I say that – we're ordering in everything for the rest of the week."

"Everything?" she scoffs, "Christian, we're in Canada…. We need to go places. Live a little…."

"The problem is I wanted you naked all week…. We can't do that when we're running around Canada."

"Should have taken me to a tropical resort," she chastises, her naked behind walking away from me, "Get dressed now."

**Ana is like a kid in a candy store at Cows Ice Cream. **She is all over the place with ice cream flavors and I have to rein her and help her make a final decision, Ana and Elizabeth have that in common. I am already starting to like Canada; I don't need security walking around here. No one knows us and no one cares.

"There are just so many decisions…. I think Elle would go crazy here."

"I would never bring Elizabeth here," I tell her firmly.

She laughs, "Why not?"

"We would never leave," he says with a laugh, "Your daughter and you are terrible at making a decisions."

She smacks me playfully on the arm. "You jerk."

"Excuse me ma'am," I hear a tiny voice. We both look down and a little girl is staring wide eyed at Ana. Her hair is brown and very curly and she is wearing a pink tutu with a matching crown. She can't be any older than five. I'm about to ask this little girl where her parents are when Ana kneels down to meet her eye level.

"Yes?" Ana asks her sweetly.

"Are you…. Are you a pwincess?"

Ana gasps and I can't help but smile. Obviously this child is very perceptive. Ana thinks about her response for a second, and I am curious to see how she'll answer that.

"Well…." Ana begins, "My name is Anastasia. What do you think?"

The little girl gasps, "You awe a pwincess."

I see a tear escape from Ana's eye as she gently cups the little girl's cheek. "What's your name?"

"Zawa."

"Zara?" Ana clarifies as the little girl nods.

"Well Zara, you're as cute as a button," Ana tells her, "Did you know that Zara means princess?"

She nods her head adamantly and smiles at my wife. I feel my heart melt into a pool of water – this is why I married this woman. She is so good – all the time. Even to a little girl I was ready to brush off.

"I am so sorry," I hear from behind us. We turn around and a Cows worker is walking towards us. "She's in this phase where she asks random people if they're a princess…. My co-worker was supposed to be watching her while I worked but apparently she took her break early."

"Mama," Zara cries, pulling on her arm, "Her name is Anastasia…. I found a weal pwincess."

"She is? Well how bout that?" Her mother says with a smile, "I knew you'd find a real princess eventually."

Ana stands up and smiles at the pair. "Your daughter is adorable. I'm pregnant myself and I hope I get a daughter as sweet and adorable as your little one."

Ana grabs onto my hand and Zara's mother smiles. "Well, if you're a princess, I am sure you'll have no problem with that."

We all laugh and Ana leans over to give Zara a hug. "I've gotta go Zara, but I'll be back again before I leave Whistler."

"Bye Pwincess."

We say our goodbyes to Zara and her mother and I pull my wife out of Cows. She very carefully climbs into the driver seat with her ice cream in hand and I turn to head back in the direction of our hotel.

"Will the Choclate work baby, or do I need to go get pickles too?"

"Zara."

I turn to gaze at my wife. "What about her?"

I see tears fill her eyes and she smiles brightly. "That's her name. There are no other options. Our daughter's name is Zara."

When I come to a stop light, I lean over to wipe Ana's tears away. "Zara, huh?"

"Zara…. Our princess."

I smile and lean over for a kiss. "I like it…"

"You do?"

"Zara Grace."

Ana gasps, "That is perfect."

"But what about our boy…." I bring up.

"Are we confident that we'll have boy and girl twins?" she asks, her tears dying down.

I burst into laughter. "Baby, he was pretty confident about our boy. Remember, he takes after his father."

She punches me in the side, "So you think we're having a girl and a boy."

"The doctor was confident," I tell her, "We can always make one of the names the kind you can switch depending on the gender…. Like Alexander and Alexandria. Something like that."

Ana gasps again, "Oh my god. A to Z. Alexander and Zara. Beginning and end of the alphabet."

I laugh, "I think I kind of like that…. And they both sound Russian – just like their mother's name."

Ana's tears start back up. "That's perfect. Alexander and Zara…. Our alphabetic, Russian Twins."

"I like it…. A lot."

"Christian, we just named our babies."

"We just named our babies," I repeat, kissing her temple one more time.


	43. A Trip Cut Short

**A/N – Hey guys! Thanks for waiting! Working on three stories is tough! Thank you for being patient and thank you for your comments on my last chapter. Lemon alert at the beginning! I hope you enjoy! I don't own FSOG. **

**Chapter 43 – A Trip Cut Short **

**Ana**

**My eyes startle awake as a large body moves next to mine. **I instinctively cuddle next to the body that is moving across my bed, and the body gladly welcomes me next to him. I feel his lips meet me my neck, and I practically purr with excitement, I've missed him this afternoon and I need him again.

After spending the last day and a half surgically molded to each other, we decided to spend the afternoon apart. I wanted to go to the Spa, and Christian wanted to ski. My man has been trying to hold back, knowing that going skiing when I can't would not be fair. Finally after watching him squirm in agony, I decided to let him go.

Like Ted, Christian turns into a little boy when it comes to something he wants to do. He gets antsy and excited and I would feel like a witch for making him stay indoors the entire time we're in Whistler. I know Christian didn't want to go to the spa so the choice was easy.

"I missed you," I purr into his ear.

"Oh baby, I missed you too…."

"No you did not," I snicker, "You were too busy skiing to miss me."

He begins kissing down my front. "Nuh uh…"

"Uh huh," I reply back, enjoying his lips on me. He slips off my tank top and begins swirling his tongue around one nipple. I moan as fire begins pooling inside of me. He moves to the next and I am losing myself in the feeling.

"Let me show you how much I missed this body today…" he says, slowly pulling off my panties. Before I can put a coherent thought together, his mouth is on my sex, licking and sucking. I squirm at the feeling of his tongue at the most sensitive part of my body.

"Baby," I hiss, "Your tongue…."

He snickers. "What about my tongue?" he says between licks.

"It is so good," I groan out as he sucks on my clit, "I want you inside me."

"We have been here for two days…. And this will make our count at ten. God, I love it when you're pregnant."

I laugh as I fumble with his ski pants. I pull them down and grab on. He moans as I place my tongue at his tip. I swirl it around and a groan escapes his throat. I place my lips around him and suck.

"Oh baby," he hisses. I continue to pull him into my mouth, licking and sucking, and hopefully driving him mad.

"Enough of this," I declare, "I want you inside me." I pull him by the dick and he shoots forward with surprise. He smiles as he moves over me and pins me on the bed with his strong arms. He positions himself at my entrance and I squirm with excitement. He slowly moves inside of me, and my body buckles below him.

He starts out very slowly, savoring me as he moves. As we continue, he really picks up the pace. I cling to his body, taking every hard inch of him as he moves deeply inside my core. We lazily lick, kiss, and bite at each other, too absorbed by the feeling to think much about what we're doing.

"Get there," he bites out, "I'm almost…."

At the same time, my sex spasms and he releases into me. He growls as he comes, biting down on my neck. I am right with him, clawing into his toned back, screaming and seeing stars as I come. Our breathing stills as he finishes filling me. I run my hands through his hair, feeling his heart beat slowly coming down with mine.

"Wow," I say, once my power of speech has returned, "That was…."

"Yeah," Christian responds, "We've been raw these past couple of days…. It's obvious that two babies make you freakier than usual."

I laugh and caress his face. "Quit giving them the credit…. Maybe your wife is freaky…. And I can't believe you just said freaky."

"Freaky," he jokes as he kisses me one more time, "Get dressed…. I want to go to dinner."

"How did skiing go?"

"Good," he nods, "But I missed you…. I wish you could have gone with me. I want to find a way to strap you to me, and not hurt you at the same time."

"Kinky," I laugh, "But Mr. Grey… how could you hurt me while skiing? Aren't you perfect? You wouldn't drop me. My man would never hurt himself while skiing."

He smiles my favorite cocky smile, "Get dressed. You're having an early dinner with Mr. Perfect tonight."

**With his arm tangled with mine, he uses his free hand to pick up a piece of my steak from my plate with a fork, and work it into my mouth. **It seems that he is insistent on feeding me tonight, and I am honestly not in the mood to argue with him. Being seen to by my gorgeous husband is actually pretty freaking amazing – I'd be crazy not to love this.

I hold on tightly to his arm and I see him visibly flinch. I stop for a moment, examining my husband and his reaction to my touch. I was joking the first time, I had no idea that he had actually gotten hurt.

"Baby, did you get hurt on the slopes today?"

"No…." he says, completely offended.

"Christian…."

"Just a minor arm thing…. Don't worry about it."

"Did you fall?" I ask, my mouth open in shock.

"I was going way too fast, and …."

"You fell?"

"When we get back to our room," he says in my ear, "I want you again…"

"Oh yeah…." I whisper back, "I can't believe you're changing the subject…. And succeeding."

"Oh Yeah," he says, his voice turning husky, "There is something about the cold air… That makes me want to curl up into wool blankets and feed off your naked body for hours."

I take in a sharp breath, completely aroused. "I guess I see why you brought me to Whistler."

He smiles, "Oh baby, I could feed off your naked body anywhere."

"We need to have sex this often at home," I remind him as I leave a kiss on his neck, "And you need to stop working such late hours…."

He nods, "I know…. I have been doing a lot better." He has, I'll give him that. The latest he has returned home from work since our massive fight has been Eleven-Thirty. It's an improvement, but still not good, and I know I'll kill him if he does that to me with four kids in the house.

"The same shit can't be happening with two kids on the way," I tell him honestly, "We're about to be parents of four. I'll lose it if this continues…. I need to know that I have you…."

"Hey," he interrupts me, grabbing my chin, "You have me. All of me. I've been busy, but that doesn't change what we are. You've got me baby, and I'm not going anywhere."

He kisses me chastely and I feel relief fill me. He has been so much more attentive lately, but that extra reassurance leaves me at such ease. As I lean over to kiss him again, my cell phone rings.

I stop and turn. "Don't pick that up…"

"That's not a work ring tone," I tell Christian, "That's a family ring tone."

I pull my phone out of my purse and I become instantly anxious when I see Grace's name on my screen. "Hello?"

"Hello Dear…. Ok, so you don't need to worry…."

"Jesus Grace," I huff, "That sure is a way to greet me."

She sighs, "Ted has a broken collar bone."

My heart breaks, "A broken collar bone…. How did that happen?" Christian's eyes go to me, probably intrigued by the words "broken collar bone."

"I blame Elliot," she begins, "He told Ted to slide into second base, and well – he hit the other kid he was sliding into and the kid was pretty big…."

"My baby is in the hospital…"

As soon as those words exit my mouth, Christian's moves to take the phone from me – I shake him off. "Is he ok?"

"We brought him in here, he has a sling – I worked with a fellow doctor and we did X-Rays and we were able to set him up with pain medication. This will just take time for him to heal completely. In all, it should take four to six weeks…."

"Let me talk to her," Christian pleads. Since we're in a private room, I decide it might be best to put Grace on speakerphone. Once on speakerphone, Grace repeats what she has just told me to Christian.

"Thank you Mom…. I am glad you were there," Christian tells her, "I trust your opinion completely."

"Can I talk to him?" I ask her.

"Of course," she replies, "Just one second."

"We need to go home," I whisper to Christian.

Christian shakes his head, "I think they've got things covered there."

My jaw drops. Is he shitting me? Who gives a shit if they have got it "covered there" – that's our son. I don't understand why he is so calm about this.

"Hi Mommy…." I hear my son's sweet voice over the phone. He sounds weak and tired, and I know he must be filled with pain medication - my poor baby.

"Hey baby boy…. How are you feeling?"

"It hurts," he tells me, "I miss you." I want to cry, I want to hold him in my arms and rock him to sleep. I can't believe my baby is hurt.

"I'm coming home right away," I practically sob, "Don't worry baby…. please tell me you are staying with grandma?"

"Oh yes," I hear Grace's voice in the background, "Elliot is in the dog house for teaching him to slide like that."

Thank fucking God. I don't want that witch Kate to be around my baby while he is hurt. I am glad he is with Grace right now; she is the best person to take care of him when I cannot be there.

"Thank you Grace… we're going to be leaving shortly. I'll see you soon."

"Actually Mom, I'll let you know when we're leaving…. It's still up for discussion," Christian tells her. My jaw drops again – is he fucking kidding me? He can stay here if that's what he so badly wants – I am going to go home and take care of my son.

I hang up the phone, and I throw it back into my purse. "We're leaving tonight."

"Ana, don't be irrational."

"Don't be irrational?" I practically scream.

"My Mom has everything under control – if she wasn't there I would be ready to leave any second. He won't be any different between now, and when we see him in a few days."

I shake my head, "I don't care. That's my little boy. I won't let him be hurt without me. I am going back tonight whether I have you with me or not."

We stare each other down, a battle of wills moving between us. Sure, Christian has a point. He won't be any different between now and when we're supposed to depart from Whistler in a few days. Grace is the perfect person to stay with him during this time, but all of that is moot. He is my son and he needs me. Nothing in Canada could keep me away from him right now.

"Fine," he says, reluctantly, "We'll leave tonight."

"Thank you…. I can't believe I would have to convince you of this. You freak out when any of us is sick or injured. Elizabeth broke her arm last year and you babied her for months…."

"I trust my mother," he tells me, "And soon – we'll be without time for just the two of us. I just thought…."

"I know," I tell him, "We will still have time with just the two of us. We'll find away."

He nods, but I know he isn't convinced. I squeeze his hand and kiss it. I hope he believes my words, and I hope he doesn't pull away from me. We need to be united, and I need him now more than ever.


	44. Two Steps Back

**A/N – Thank you so much for the reviews for my last chapter. So I really wanted to get this out before I ran out of weekend time to write. This is a big chapter… and will explain a few things. Enjoy and let me know what you think. **

**I don't own FSOG. **

**Chapter 44 – Two Steps Back….**

**Ana**

** We flew back to Seattle the next morning, and Christian and I decided to keep Ted home from school for the rest of the week. **On top of keeping Ted home, Christian and I decided to stay home for the rest of the week with him, keeping our vacation time. Christian has a little bit of work to attend to this week, but he promised to be at home more than work.

"Mommy, when is Dad getting home?" Ted asks as I make him breakfast.

"He promised he'd be back in time to bring us lunch," I inform him, "And he will spend the rest of the day with us."

"Good," he says, eating his eggs with his good hand. He hurt his non-writing arm so I am relieved that he'll be able to jump into school after the Christmas holidays with no problems.

"How are you feeling this morning bud?" I ask as I kiss his cheek.

"It hurts but the medicine helps."

"Good," I say as I take a seat next to him, "You're acting like such a trooper considering what you've been through."

He smiles, "It's not so bad. I like getting to spend time with you and the medicine helps me."

"So strong and resilient, just like your Daddy," I tell him, "Did you know your Daddy hurt his arm too while he was skiing?"

Ted pouts, "I won't get to go skiing…."

"Oh baby boy, don't worry. We are definitely staying home and having Christmas with family." Christian and I decided this soon after we arrived back in Seattle. I don't want the stress of traveling bother Ted and a Christmas at home sounds nice. Christian ordered "Christmas decorators" to come tomorrow since we're behind on Christmas decorating.

Ted's little face is still sad and I am curious to know what he is thinking. "Can I watch TV now, Mom?" Ted asks.

"Yeah baby, you can," I say as he moves out of his seat. I pick up my phone to check my email, and I realize very quickly that our internet is not working. I send Christian a text – _"Internet seems to be out."_

I continue to clean up breakfast and Ted calls my name from the living room. "Mommy, the cable isn't working."

"That's weird," I say as I take a seat next to him, "I sent a text to Daddy because the internet is out too." I send Christian another text about the cable.

Christian texts me back seconds later – _"Our cable/internet is getting worked on. Have Ted watch a movie. I'll be home in a couple hours."_

I pull out a movie for Ted, and as I am placing "Cars" into the Blu Ray player, my phone rings. I quickly move to answer it. "Hello…."

"I want this baby out," Evelyn whines.

I laugh, "Is Noah running a little late?" Ted scowls and I know he wants me out of the room while he is watching Cars. I give him a kiss and walk into my office.

"I am a week late…. this baby better get out of me…. I am so tired…. I am so sick of being pregnant."

"Have you tried having sex? I am sure Joe's big dick could get that baby out of there…"

Evelyn gasps, "Are you kidding me?"

"I am just trying to make you laugh."

"Wow…. I've taught you well," Evelyn laughs, "Tell me what is going on over there…. How's my boy?"

"He is in pain, but he is dealing well. I am keeping him home from school for the rest of the week, and hopefully after the Christmas and New Year's he'll be fine enough to go to school with a sling."

"Good…." Evelyn replies, "So how was your trip to Whistler…. Before it got cut short."

"It was good," I tell her, "A lot of good QT time with me and my man."

"How are you doing with twins so far?" she asks, "Let me tell you…. Twins is a whole different experience then having one baby."

"It's a good thing I have you," I laugh, "I have no idea what I am getting myself into. Hell, we're about to be a family of four…. we're about to rival the Reynolds."

"We may be even if this baby doesn't get out of my stomach," she snaps.

"Mommy….," I hear my niece Paisley in the background, "Awe TV isn't wokin…"

"Is it the cable?" I ask her.

"Yeah, the cable and internet has been questionable all week," Evelyn answers back, "Paise, I'll get you a movie… just give me a second with Aunt Ana."

"Hi Aunt Ana," Paisley yells into the phone.

"Hey sweet Paisley…. Love you lots."

"Paise, Aunt Ana says she loves you…."

"I lob you too," she yells into the phone and I cannot help but smile.

"See, little girls can be cute," Evelyn tells me, "It's the little boys that won't leave my stomach that I have issues with."

I laugh, "Be nice…. You're just crabby. I bet he'll be the sweetest little boy."

"From your mouth to God's ears….," Evelyn huffs and I know she must be trying to sit up, "Pray that Noah makes his journey into the world very soon…"

"Here, here, Sister Friend."

We hang up and I open my laptop. The internet may not be working, but maybe I can do some work while Ted watches his movie. I don't understand how our Cable and Internet could be out, especially when my husband is a technology nerd. I am surprised that this would happen under his roof.

After a few more minutes of silence, my phone rings again. I laugh when I see to see that it is my sister again.

"I thought I just talked to you…."

"Hey," Evelyn says, her voice shaky, "Um…. I need you."

"Why?" I ask, bracing my desk.

"My water just broke…."

"I'll be there as soon as I can," I tell her without hesitation. She has a staff to deliver her to the hospital and I know Joseph will be there any minute. I still plan on getting my ass there, she is my sister and this is what we do. I walk to the living room and turn off the television. Ted scowls as I take a seat next to him.

"Hey buddy…. We need to go to the hospital. Aunt Evelyn is about to have your cousin Noah, and we need to go to the hospital to be with her."

"Can I watch Cars at the Hospital?" he whines, pouting adorably.

"We will bring your Ipad, I am sure it's on there."

He nods, "It is. Let's go."

I quickly get Ted and myself dressed for the hospital. I call my sister and find out that Reynold's security detail and Nanny have helped Paisley and Evelyn move to the hospital safely. I grab my purse and Teddy's hand and head for the door. Reynolds stops me before I can get any closer.

"Mrs. Grey, where are you going?" Reynolds asks at the door.

"My sister called me and she is going into labor. Can you drive me?"

"Ummm…." Reynolds hums nervously, "I don't know if that's the best idea."

"What do you mean?" I ask, "My sister is having my nephew. I need to go…."

"Let me call Mr. Grey…."

"What?" I ask, absolutely exasperated, "Why do you need to wait to talk to Mr. Grey? I need to be there for my sister."

Reynolds still isn't budging so I push through. He moves because he knows that Ted is hurt, and I am thankful for that at the very least. I still don't understand why I am being forced to stay home. They haven't mentioned a security threat, so I don't understand what is going on.

"Mrs. Grey," Reynolds calls, "You need to wait for Mr. Grey."

I whip around, "Is there a security threat that I don't know about?"

"No ma'am….."

"Then we're good…." I huff as I head to my car. If Reynolds won't drive us, then I am more than capable of doing this on my own. Ted is still so small, so he still goes in a car seat.

"Mommy…. Is Daddy going to be mad that we left?"

"If he is, then he'll be overreacting," I tell him as I take my seat, "We're going to see Aunt Evelyn…. We aren't committing a crime."

I pull out of my driveway and take in a deep breath. I don't know why I feel so nervous or why Christian is acting like this today, but I have a feeling that before this day ends – I'll find out.

**Reynolds followed me the entire way to the hospital and as soon as we arrived, we went right to Evelyn's room. **Paisley is the first to greet me and I hold tight to my baby niece. Her blonde curls are wild and out of control, much like Evelyn's. She is my sister's miniature in every way.

"You excited to be a big sister, Paise?"

She nods adamantly, "I can't wait to see baby Noah!"

Evelyn laughs as she motions to Ted from her hospital bed. "How are you feeling bud?"

He nods, "I'm fine. How are you feeling?"

"Awesome," she laughs as she turns to me, "My nanny can take them both at some point."

"Well at the end of the day, we'll have four more kids… have we called Mom and Dad?"

"Yep, they're on their way," Evelyn says as a contraction hits. I look down and see Ted's eyes go wide. I need to distract him or get him out of here soon; this will be scarring for a seven year old.

My phone rings and I know Christian is calling me. Evelyn nods at the ringing. "Christian?"

"Yeah…. He's being weird today."

"More so than usual?" Evelyn asks with a laugh.

I laugh with her, "Ted…. Go watch Cars in the corner." Teddy nods and grabs his Ipad and head phones.

"Hey," I say as I answer.

"What the hell are you doing out of the house?" Christian barks. I am taken back by his animosity, but I stay strong.

"Don't talk to me like that," I snap back at him, "My sister is in labor. I didn't realize I was a prisoner in my own home."

Christian sighs with exasperation, "You know I didn't mean it like that. I was on my way home to spend the rest of the day with my wife and son and you aren't here…"

"My sister is in labor. I'm sorry…. What do you want me to do?"

"You could have waited," he snaps, "Everything doesn't always revolve around you and what you want. I wanted to spend time with you."

"What do you want from me right now?" I snap back at him, "You're acting like I cut off your leg." I am in disbelief; I can't believe he is talking to me like this.

"Nothing…. Just call me later."

He hangs up the phone and I cannot believe my ears. What the hell is his problem? There was so much anger in his tone, is he that resentful about us leaving Whistler early? Our son got hurt, and my sister is in labor – why is he being so fucking rude about all of this?

"Holy hell," Ev comments as I hang up the phone, "That was a real fight."

"I know… I don't get it. Whistler was so good…," I say, shaking my head, "I don't get why he is acting like this. It can't be just because we left early. There has to be something else going on."

"I've never seen you two fight like that," Evelyn says, turning on the TV, "That was insane."

We both look up as the TV comes to life. I roll my eyes – Milania Turotti is their "celebrity" of choice to feature on E! this morning. She has been in the news a lot lately. Her name and brand is actually making a pretty decent comeback. Along with being a single Mom to her son Nicholas, she has started a perfume line, a make-up line, and a dress line. Her dress line is doing exceptionally well, but her makeup and perfume lines have been a source of problems for her. On top of her financial issues, she has had a few drinking issues, and has been in and out of rehab for several months. I hate hearing about her, and I'd love to not have to see her perfect face everywhere I go.

"Oh my god, did you hear that?" Evelyn asks as she turns up the volume, "Please tell me my ears are deceiving me."

"Don't worry about Milania Turotti though, it seems that her CEO Ex-Boyfriend has bailed out her make-up and perfume empires. Along with the bail out that Christian Grey is providing…. He has 30% equity with her company, and is helping pay for her rehab …. Wow… I wish my ex could be that charitable to me…."

"Shut off the TV," I hiss at Evelyn. She obeys as I pull back out my cell phone. I can't think, I can barely breathe. My brain has stopped functioning, and I have one goal in mind as I dial my cell phone.

"Grey…."

"Listen to me, and listen to me clearly. If you want me to come home tonight, you will pick up our daughter from school, feed her, help her with her homework, and not leave our house until your son and I make it home. I cannot believe you would do this to me…."

"Ana, wait … hold on."

"Is she the reason you didn't come home till 2:30 AM that night?"

He takes in a deep breath, "Yes."

I feel like he just slapped me. "I'll see you when I get home."

**Christian**

** I have been sitting on egg shells all afternoon. **I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. My plan was flawed from the beginning. I only hid this from Ana because I didn't want her to freak out over nothing. There is nothing going on between Milania and me, I barely even talk to the woman. I pay people to talk to Milania during our business transactions. All I did was help her revive her suffering cosmetic lines. Anything associated with Milania would cause Ana to flip, and I knew logic and rationality wouldn't be accepted.

I hear the door open and I hear her footsteps down the hall. Elizabeth went to bed hours ago so I know Ted has to be fast asleep by now. Reynolds carries my son into the living room, and I leave a small kiss on his forehead as he walks by.

Ana is next, and she looks mad. No, she doesn't look mad – she looks betrayed and angry and ferocious. She slams her purse down on the kitchen counter and turns to the refrigerator. She pulls out a pitcher of water and pours herself a glass.

"Ana…."

"I talk, you listen…." She begins, "I've had a lot of time to think today while our nephew was being brought into this world…. And you won't like what I came up with in my time alone."

I nod as she shakes her head. "Let's start small. So the internet and cable today…. What was that?"

I take in a deep breath, "I was keeping you away from any Milania news."

She nods, seeming to have known this all along. "Thank you for being honest. Trust me, that will work for you right now. So… Evelyn's cable and internet…."

I nod, "Same with Evelyn."

"What about my parents?"

"Your parents don't watch any news outlet that would cover the bailout…."

She shakes her head and continues, "Moving on…. Leaving the house today? I couldn't leave because you wanted to keep me in my "no information" bubble."

I nod, "Yes."

"Ok…. moving on," Ana sneers, "What about you not wanting to come home early after Ted got hurt. That had everything to do with her…. And nothing to do with our son….."

"He was in good hands," I counter back.

"Answer the fucking question," she snaps at me.

"He was in good hands and I'll stand by that….but yes – that too."

She takes in an exasperated breath. "Your late night business meeting?"

"Yes…." I respond.

Tears are pouring down her face, and I wish I could walk over and wipe them away. "Ana…."

"And our trip…. The trip you wanted us to have to reconnect with each other…. Did you want to keep me out of Seattle?"

"That wasn't the main reason."

"I can't believe this," she sobs, "You've been lying to me for weeks. What the fuck?"

"She needed my help, her company was failing, and she asked for help," I plead with her, "It was just a business transaction."

"Just a business transaction?" she screeches, "Just a business transaction – SHE TRIED TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME!"

"That's old news…. We've moved on. She wanted to meet with my associates to finalize the deal and I wanted out of there. That's why I took you out of town."

"I can't believe you would do this. I can't believe it….. our week was supposed to be special, and now it has her written all over it. I thought we were done with her."

"The only contact we've ever had are through conference calls…. That's it."

"It's too much," she hisses, "I don't trust her. She tried to take you from me, and now you're just letting her back in after she lied to you."

"You lied to me too…."

Before I say it, I know I've just accepted my own death. Her eyes go wide, and her tears resume.

"I hate you," she whispers, "I really hate you."

"Ana, I'm so sorry…."

"I may have lied to you about Elizabeth and we might be living in a world right now where RC is her father. I am sorry and I will never stop apologizing for that … but the difference between you and me is that if RC were still alive – I would never have any contact with him because I respect you. Or at least I used to respect you."

She walks toward the stairs and I grab her arm. "I am so sorry for lying to you…."

"Your very well thought out and elaborate lie… don't forget to mention that," she sneers, "I want you out of the house… I hate you."

She walks away and I fall to the floor. I sit in the silence, listening to my wife walk away from me. Seconds later, I hear a new set of footsteps and quiet sobbing. I look up and see the eyes of my daughter staring back at me.

"Daddy," she sobs, "Who is RC?"

_Shit. _


	45. Catastrophic Bad

**A/N – Well…. We sure were passionate about the last chapter. Some of you are up for the angst, and some of us had different feelings. That's fine… you can't please everybody. I have an idea of how I am going to proceed with these two and I hope you join on for the ride. If you don't, well…. Then I certainly understand – just do you. Lol. I also would like to thank everyone who has responded in a constructive and respectful manner…. There is definitely a way to voice your opinions without crossing a line and 99.9% of you did that. Thank you for that. **

**There is one flashback! Enjoy! I don't own FSOG. Music Recommendation – Say Something by A Great Big World **

**Chapter 45 – Catastrophic Bad **

**Christian – Present Time **

** Flynn and I sit in silence; neither of us is sure where to begin. **Honestly, I think Flynn is actually baffled. I have come to him with a lot over the years, but I think this takes the cake. He keeps shaking his head, and he won't even look at me. I have a feeling that I've stumped him too much with my bullshit today.

"So…. I want to know how you two handled Elizabeth's question?" he begins, talking to me like I have a mental disorder. I have lived a week away from my wife and kids – at this point, I think he's right.

"I was lucky that Ana overheard Elizabeth…. I wasn't sure what to say…. She stepped in and saved the day"

**Christian - The Night of the Fight **

** I've lost the ability to speak. **I don't even know where to begin with her. I wipe her tears away, while I try to put words together.

"Hey…." I hear Ana say as she moves back into the living room. She moves in front of Elizabeth and holds her face in her hands. "Sweet baby, it's not what you think… "

"Who is RC and what were you guys talking about and were you fighting? Please don't fight. I promise to be better… I promise not to bully anybody else. Just please don't fight…."

I don't think I've felt like more of an asshole in my life. "Ok sweetie – number one …. Our fighting is not your fault," she reaffirms, "That will never be your fault."

"But you didn't fight before I got in trouble and now you fight all the time," she sobs.

I grab her hand, "Our fighting has nothing to do with you. It's Mommy and Daddy's problems and not your problems. Do not ever think they are related."

Ana nods, "Your Dad is right. And as far as what you heard tonight… Actually, what do you think you heard?"

She shrugs, "You made it sound like…." She stops, and I know she doesn't want to continue her thought.

"I am your Mom….," Ana responds pointing to herself, "That is your Dad. We're your parents and we love you more then you know. Anything else isn't valid. So you may have heard stuff… but it's not anything you need to worry about it. You're loved by both of your parents and that's all you need."

She stops crying, but continues to stand in front of Ana and me, seeming to be figuring out what to say next.

"Do you really hate Dad, Mommy?"

I think Ana and I exhale at the same time. Ana keeps telling me to watch what I say in front of my eight year old daughter, and now I see what she's been saying. Nothing gets past her.

"I don't hate your Dad… what I said was said out of anger….," Ana says, trying to hold back tears, "And your grandmother told one time that you can only be truly mad or angry at someone you really love."

"I just don't like you guys like this…." Elizabeth huffs in response.

"I don't like it either," I mutter under my breath as Ana turns to look at me.

"Go to bed," Ana says as she kisses her forehead, "And stop getting up in the middle of the night…. You need to go to bed and stay in bed…."

Ana leads her to her room, leaving me just as alone as I was before.

**Christian – Present Time**

** "Well it was probably good that Ana did most of the talking…."**

I shake my head and he scribbles something on his paper. "So Christmas was last week," he says, changing topics, "How did you two handle the holiday?"

"We decided to not discuss our issues or allow our fighting to ruin the holiday."

"What does that mean?" he asks, "What does that look like?"

"Nothing was discussed…. We had the holidays…. We pretended to be happy for the kids….I slept in another room."

He nods, "So now, the year has started and the holidays are over – where are you two now?"

"We talked about it, and we decided that I am going to stay at the house… "

"We?"

I want to punch Flynn right now. "She decided that we shouldn't punish the kids for our problems. So we're living under the same roof and going about our lives as normal."

"How are the kids?" he asks, "Elizabeth is what concerns me the most…. How did she take Ana's explanation of RC?"

I take in a deep breath, "She hasn't said anything since, but I see it in her eyes…. She knows something is off."

"As to be expected…."

"What do we say to her?" I ask, "That situation was so fucked up…. And it doesn't make sense to tell her about what happened before I showed up. That's all moot."

He nods, "It doesn't…. you're right. RC was only there for a short time, and now he is gone. But my concern is that eventually she'll find out everything and lose her mind with anger that she wasn't told."

"So… be careful with what we say until she eventually forgets about it."

"It is as good plan as any…." He nods, "How is Ted?"

I want to laugh. "You know…. I for the longest time thought that guys were as smart as women. I love my son, but he is living proof that men are much slower than women. We're under the same roof and that's all the matters to my boy."

He laughs, "Ted is a good little man…. That's all that matters to a six year old. Now… let me ask you - is this the best arrangement for the kids?"

"We aren't fighting…. We just aren't ourselves," I explain, "I want to be around them. I don't want to be away from them. And besides…. I think Ana and I can work through this."

"The only person who I see needing the work is you…."

I run my hands through my hair, "I don't know what to do…. I don't know what to say to her…. I've truly fucked up."

"You have….." Flynn agrees, "I have a question for you….. why did you give Milania the money in the first place? Why did you trust her again?"

"She needed an investment because her company was going down the tubes. I did it at an arm's length…. Or at least I tried to do this at an arm's length. I had other people deal with her, so I could have minimal contact. I just didn't think it would be this big of a deal…."

"Ok…" Flynn huffs, putting down his pen, "Anastasia should be here by now. I'll go check. You think about how you're not going to get murdered by your wife in my office…. Because at this point, I'd let her do it."

Flynn walks outside to the lobby, and seconds later walks back in with my wife. Ana's long brown hair is thrown up into a messy bun and her grey sweatshirt covers her five months pregnant stomach. She looks tired, and I hate myself for her mental state right now. I still attend doctor's visits with her, but we haven't spoken during her examinations. She really is insistent on not talking to me without Flynn present.

"You're simply glowing, Mrs. Grey. Pregnancy works for you."

She smiles weakly, "Thank you John."

"Hi baby," I say, squeezing her hand. She quickly pulls away and doesn't look me in the eye.

"So…" Flynn begins, noticing the tension between us, "You've come at a good time Ana. We've just discussed Christian's reasoning behind making the deal."

She rolls her eyes, "He keeps telling me that same reasoning. He thought he could keep her at an arm's length while going forward. It wasn't a big deal." She turns to me, "Haven't you figured out after all these years that if you give that woman an inch – she'll go a mile? She is a weasel. She used her abortion as a reason to make you her slave… She cheated on you while you were younger…. She lied to you about the paternity of her son…."

"I knew that there was a chance that child wasn't mine…." I tell her, "Just like you knew there was a chance that Elizabeth was mine and not RC's." I decide to go no further than that. After I used the past against her the night of our epic fight, I have felt like shit ever since. We've moved on since then – I would never make her a slave to that mistake.

I did give Milania an inch, and I shouldn't have. When she wanted to work with me and asked for help with her companies – we discussed my issues with her. We discussed the paternity debacle, and I felt that she was operating on a stable mind. I only gave Milania an inch because time has made me see the "paternity" situation differently. I knew all along that there could be a possibility that I wasn't the father of Milania's child. She didn't lie to me, she warned me about the possibility of Gustav or someone else walking into the picture. My anger came from the fact that she was the reason I was separated from Ana. My anger didn't involve Milania, just the situation she put me in.

She nods, "It's not the deal that has made me upset. If you had sat me down and talked to me like an adult – we wouldn't be in this mess. I'm not a child; I understand what you were initially trying to do. But it's the lying and disguising our special weekend as a way to get me out of town so they could finalize her fucking deal…. That's what I can't look past. That you thought our staying out of town should come before our son. Your lie after lie after lie- I don't feel respected…. I feel like the slave that you live with and knock up. I have never seen you get as selfish as you have been these last few months…."

"Christian…. Do you have anything you'd like to say to her?"

I take in a deep breath, "I just know how you get when it comes to her…. I wasn't expecting rationality."

"That's our problem," she says softly, "You expect the worst out of me when I don't think I've ever done anything to prove otherwise."

We sit in silence for a while longer. I don't know what to say to that. I don't know how to apologize to her because I know she won't believe it. I know I have to do a lot more then feed her words. She deserves more than that.

She leans over and grabs my hand. "Answer me honestly…." She begins, "How much contact have you had with her. Not through other people…. Just you speaking with her."

She's not going to like this. I've always had people around, but the contact has escalated. "At the beginning, it was conversations with others in the room…. And then she would call me. I always tried to make it brief but she's hard to stop. I had never seen her face to face."

"I am choosing to look past that statement because I think the bigger problem is that she brings the worst out of you," she says, "She manipulates you and she tears you down by being that manipulative shrew that she is so famous for, and I don't like it…. I don't like what she does to you and you still let her do it. She feeds you lie after lie and you let her…. You let her do it because of the guilt from when you were kids…. Baby, I am so mad at you, but I hate what she has done to you more… and you keep letting it happen."

I really don't know what to say to her. I lean over and kiss her hand, not wanting her to leave. Once she walks out the door – we go back to the real world. A world in which she doesn't talk to me, and where I lose my wife to anger and disappointment – I want her back, I need her back.

"Christian?" Flynn asks after a moment in silence.

I let out a breath. "I'm so sorry…. I never wanted to hurt you, and I don't know how to make it better. Tell me how I can make this better."

She leans over to kiss my forehead. "Just give me time. I just need time….I'm hurt, and I don't know how to deal with this right now."

I hate this, but I don't have a choice. My pregnant wife isn't speaking to me, and she has every right not to. All I can do is wait, and I hate waiting.

**I walk down the stairs, heading for my car when my cell phone rings. **

"Welch," I say as I get into the back seat, "What do you have for me?"

Silence fills the other end of the phone. "Grey…. I have something here…. Something big. Something I cannot believe I didn't investigate before. Something game changing."

"What is it?"

"Get to the office now. It's bad…. like catastrophic bad." 


	46. When he hurts, I hurt

**A/N – Based off your comments – I realized that I needed to get this chapter out as soon as possible. Thank you for them – when you leave me reviews; I neglect my other responsibilities and work my butt off to get you chapters faster. :) **

**I am truly interested to see what you think…. I have a feeling I will have a mixed bag with this one. Enjoy and I don't own FSOG. **

**Chapter 46 – When he hurts, I hurt**

**Christian**

** Today is the day I have been waiting for my whole entire fucking life.** I have no doubts that I will remember this day forever – it will live in infamy. I am seated in my conference room, stack of documents ready to go, and game face on. This is going to be the best fucking day of my life.

I just got the word that Milania Turotti has been through security. She was checked heavily, and practically tortured before she was allowed to enter the elevators. Hopefully this will be an omen for what is about to happen to her.

Welch enters the room seconds later followed by my lawyer and Taylor. My Dad hasn't been my lawyer for several years, he has since retired and been replaced by his predecessor Neil. He's a quiet man, but when he speaks – people listen. They take my sides, both the calming legal presence that I need for today. Taylor will be behind me – ready to restrain me at a moment's notice.

After several moments of silence, the calm before the storm, Milania Turotti enters the conference room. She smiles as she enters the room, obviously not catching the hints I've dropped that she isn't welcome in my building and she will be permanently removed shortly. Today, she is dressed entirely in black with her newly dyed blond hair cascading down her back. The only color difference in her ensemble is her long red nails. She looks like fucking Satan, and ironically the envelope sitting in front of me will prove that she is in fact Satan.

"Christian…. It's lovely to see you. I am so glad that you finally agreed to meet with me in person."

"Sit down," I tell her, "I've got a few things that need to be said."

She nods, "Alright. I am so glad that we were able to get the deal together. I'm sorry to hear that Mrs. Grey isn't too fond of our business arrangement."

"Milania, let me begin by saying that this isn't going to be that type of meeting. I don't care to discuss pleasantries with you, and if you talk about my wife in any fashion – you will not be walking out of this room at all. Do I make myself 100% clear?"

"I can't speak of Mrs. Grey?" she scoffs haughtily, "What lies and bullshit has she fed you now?"

"That is your last fucking warning," I bark at her, "I have called you into my office to let you know that even though the deal went through…. I have talked with another company and they're willing to buy you out. We will no longer be working together."

Her jaw drops open, "What? How could you do that to me? You promised you'd take care of this for me….Who did you sell me too?"

I smile, "J-Mart was very interested in your company…."

"You sold me to fucking J-Mart? What the hell…."

I slide my file folder down the table. "This will tell you everything you need to know."

She looks at me anxiously as she flips open to the first page. I watch her eyes as she stares at the documents in front of her. She continues to flip and I see her expression go pale. I sit back as she continues to read the documents. The more she turns, the worse her expression gets.

"What I'd like to know is how you were able to get a doctor to falsify all of those medical records for you," Neil starts, "That's pretty damn impressive for a fifteen year old."

"Where did you find all of this?" she asks softly.

"We did some digging - Some digging that we should have done a while ago," Welch answers, taking a quiet dig at me. He is right. When this is all said and done, I regret not investigating her sooner.

She continues to stay quiet as she flips through the paper work and I know what exactly must be going through her head. Milania was pregnant when we were fifteen – for a week. It was a false positive, and after she announced the pregnancy to me, she quickly discovered that she wasn't pregnant. Her older sister took her to an OBGYN; a doctor who owed the Turotti's a favor. Since they couldn't magically re-impregnate Milania with my sperm, they went the opposite way.

So, why have an abortion in order to keep someone around? That's where Milania's stellar talent for manipulation came in handy. She manipulated me, and used her depression to guilt me into staying by her side. She wanted to keep me, and she got what she wanted. I was a clueless fifteen year old kid, and I thought I was doing the right thing after I flipped out on Milania over her abortion. I thought she needed me, and I really thought I was to blame for her down turn. All this time, she played me and I let her.

To add on to the clusterfuck that is my relationship with the Turotti's, Welch found out that the Turotti's were stealing from my family from the ages of fifteen to eighteen. My parents found out about the theft, confronted her parents, brought in lawyers, and came up with a settlement behind closed doors. I don't know the details of the "theft" or what was discussed behind closed doors, but apparently this issue wasn't enough for them to break my relationship with Milania. They shut every Turotti out except for Milania, and obviously they were wrong for doing that. My family was the Turotti's meal ticket, and I was the way inside. I always was curious as to why my parents weren't especially fond of us dating in our twenties, and now I know that this was why.

Milania closes the folder and stares me in the eye. "I don't know what to say right now…." she admits, "I loved you, and I knew you would move on. We were fifteen… and I knew you were it for me, that I'd never love someone like I love you…."

I laugh at her – hysterically so. This is what she does. She acts like a psychopath and gives a sob story for her insane actions.

"You don't get it. My relationship with you has been a lie. I overlooked the cheating because we were both twenty and stupid. I overlooked the paternity situation because you didn't really know who the father was and you needed help…. But fuck – you've been lying to me since day one."

"Ana lied to you too," she blurts out, "I know she lied to you about the paternity of your daughter…"

"Do not," I repeat, "Fucking talk about my wife again. She is a saint and you're fucking Satan."

"I am just saying that I wasn't the only one who lied to you…."

"But you don't fucking get it," I bark, slamming my hand down on the table, "You made me feel bad for you…. You made me feel like shit…. You punished me…. Made my life hell… for a fucking lie. I cried for you…. I cried for the child that I thought I lost with you. After the abortion…. I went into my room and fucking bawled my eyes out because I thought I was the reason why my kid was dead. For months I cried for that kid. I sought psychological counseling because I thought I was the reason you killed our kid – I thought I was the reason you swallowed pills and slit your wrists. I thought I destroyed two lives, and that fucking devastated me. I was a teenager and I was confused and I was going out of my mind because of you. AND IT WAS ALL A MOTHER FUCKING LIE."

At this point, I am leaning over Milania, and I realize that Taylor has made no move to stop me. She looks absolutely terrified and I don't give a fuck. I am done caring about her feelings. She turned me into this monster, and it is time she experience the full range of my wrath.

"And now…. I have to go home… beg at the feet of an angel for forgiveness because yet again you have come into my life and fucked me up. I am fucking catatonic. This is the end. This is where I sign off. I am done. I am going to place a lying sack of shit exactly where it belongs – in the mother fucking garbage. You're going to be shortly escorted out of this building and it will be the last time I see your face again."

"You said that the last time," she has the audacity to mutter under her breath.

I move forward as Taylor finally grabs onto my arms. "Ms. Turotti…. Get the fuck out of this building," Taylor says, nodding to the door, "You have armed guards waiting for you."

After moments of silence, she turns and finally walks out of the room. Taylor follows her out and I slump over in my chair. Welch pats me on the back.

"Well done…." Welch says as he moves closer to me, "So what's next."

"Groveling," I tell him, "Hearts and flowers and winning my wife back after I've made the worst decisions of my life back to back to back…."

He nods, "You going to be ok…."

"I'll be ok when she forgives me…."

"Come on," Welch nods, "After Taylor kicks out the shrew, he'll take you home…."

**Ana**

** It is raining cats and dogs outside, and I wish the kids were able to stay home with me today. **This pregnancy hasn't been easy, especially with all of the problems that Christian and I have been having, so I have worked from home a lot lately. Good thing I own the place, and they're very understanding of my current situation.

"Mrs. Grey…" Gail says, entering my office, "The boys are on their way…. I just got a call from Taylor." I am surprised - Christian never comes home in the middle of the day. "I haven't been told the whole story, but all I know is that they're both on their way and Mr. Grey is coming to see you, "Gail finishes.

I decide to wait out on our covered porch, interested to see what could bring him home in the middle of the day. Soon after I take a seat, I see the SUV curve up the drive. I wait as Christian moves out of the car, and stands in the middle of the rain. Taylor drives off, leaving my stupid husband in the middle of a rainstorm. I stand up, moving closer to the edge.

"Come inside…. What are you doing?" I yell out at him.

He walks forward, still moving way too slowly for a rainstorm. He doesn't keep his eyes off me as he moves forward. Once he is in touching distance, he slumps over. His hair is a mess, and it reminds me of Ted's hair when he gets out of the bath. It's in that closer investigation of his face that I realize that Christian is crying. Christian is sobbing, and I am stunned. He doesn't cry often.

"What is it?" I ask him, "Christian…. What's wrong?"

He drops completely to the ground, "It was all a lie…."

I move down with him and he wraps his wet body around mine. "What was a lie baby?" I say in his ear. I am in shock. I have never seen him like this. I have never seen him so raw.

"She lied to me…. From the beginning. I thought," he says shaking his head, "I thought…. I thought I was the reason she killed our kid."

Tears are flowing down his face and I wipe them away gently. "Baby, that wasn't your fault… you were a kid…."

"She lied," he sobs, "About everything. The kid. She was never pregnant. She never had an abortion. Everything was a lie… all of it. I thought I killed our kid…. I thought I had destroyed her life…. She had me believing all of that. She had me believing everything."

My heart breaks into a million pieces. Of course she lied about the abortion. Of course she lied about her first pregnancy – this is what Milania Turotti does. She is a master manipulator and liar and finally Christian sees the truth. This time, it is too late. The damage has already been done.

I grab onto the sides of Christian's face and I see the hurt spewing from his eyes. In this moment I hurt with him. She didn't deceive and manipulate an equal. She deceived a sweet, lost, and confused fifteen year old boy. I see him still alive in the depths of my husband's grey eyes. I see him hurting over the damage that bitch perpetrated and I want to commit murder. She crossed a line, and she is lucky that I am five months pregnant . She hurt my sweet man, and I want her to pay severely for it. Yes, he lied to me, but I can't help it – when he hurts, I hurt. He is my heart, and nothing will change that.

"Baby," I whisper.

"Don't leave me," he sobs, "You have to forgive me…. You have to…. I'll never hurt you again…. For as long as I live I promise I won't hurt you again. You're my fucking angel Ana; I love you more than I ever dreamed I could love anybody. I sold her company, and kicked her out of my life. I am never going to let her hurt us again…. I swear my life and our twins on it."

I move my lips to his, our kiss filled with love and apology and determination to fix everything that had been broken. The rain pours down on both of us as I hold my man in my arms – relieved that he finally understands what I have been trying to tell him this whole time. I love him more then he'll ever know and it kills me to see him less than what he could be. Thank god, I think he finally gets it.

"Am I allowed to say that I want to get you inside and peel off your wet clothes?"

I finally smile for the first time in a month. "I think so… yeah…."

I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me inside, as far away from the storm as we can possibly get.


	47. Full Service Husband

**A/N – Thanks guys for all your kind words from the last chapter! You guys are the best! Lemon alert for this chapter! **

**I don't own FSOG **

**Chapter 47 – Full Service Husband **

**Ana**

**We lay in silence, gazing at each other in peace contentment. **We're both naked and lying across our bed, tangled in sheets. We've had a busy afternoon, full of sweaty bodies and make up sex. I lean over to kiss him and he lightly strokes my belly. I grab his hand and kiss his fingers.

"You get bigger every day," Christian comments as I give his hand back.

"That's not something you're supposed to tell a woman."

He laughs, smiling brightly for the first time in weeks. "I loved it when you were pregnant with Ted…. You're so soft…. So succulent."

He reaches over, covering his mouth over my nipple. Pleasure immediately surges through me with my body bucking upwards in response. "Baby…. careful…. They're sensitive," I groan.

He smiles, very pleased with himself. He moves his lips to mine, kissing me deeply and running his thumbs over my sensitive nipples. I run my hands through his hair, pulling him in deeper.

We pull away and I am breathless. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too…." He breathes.

"No, you don't understand," I tell him, grabbing harder at his hair, "I've really missed you. This pregnancy has been so weird…. I am either nauseas or horny."

He laughs, "That is a fascinating combination."

"It really is," I tell him, "And you've been down the hall and I've been angry with you…."

"If you were nauseas, you should have called me," he says, expression serious.

"No, I was mad at you…. Actually I am still mad at you." I don't want to give him a free pass. He lied to me repeatedly. Just because he finally learned how fucked up Turotti truly is doesn't mean I can let that go. He willingly lied to me.

On the other hand, he does finally get it. He finally understands how evil that woman is, and even though I was betrayed by him – he was betrayed exponentially by her. He sees what he has done to us, and has been nothing but remorseful. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place – to forgive and grant mercy or force him to continue to suffer. At this point, I think I am going to do a little of both.

"I know," he says with a nod, "Ana… I will do whatever it takes. If you want me to sleep by myself or if you want to kick me out – I'll do it. We can go to Flynn…. We can go to somebody else. I am ready and willing to get us back where we need to be before the twins arrive. I am at your mercy. My life is in your hands."

I straddle his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. "I like you at my mercy. But I honestly don't know where to start."

He nods, "We'll start with Flynn – I already have an appointment with him tomorrow after work…. But are you sure there isn't anything else?"

I snicker to myself, "Unless you want to drop whatever you're doing at a moment's notice to service me. Trust me - this is the part of my pregnancy that I've missed you the most."

A wicked smile crosses his face, "How often do you need me during the day?"

I gulp - his expression is killing me. I could throw him down on this bed and take him again – that's how bad my hormones have been. "At least three times a day…. Sometimes four."

His smile gets wider. "Oh…. Game on."

"What do you mean, game on?"

"Whenever you need me to help you feel better…. I will drop everything and give you exactly what you need."

"Seriously?" I laugh

"It's the least I can do," he says, grabbing the sides of my face and kissing me softly, "This will be fun."

"What if you're in a meeting?" I ask, "A really serious meeting. What if you can't leave?"

"I can leave," he says, "And after all I have put you through…. No. Let me do this."

I lean in for another kiss when my cell phone rings. I turn to the clock and I realize that our kids must be home any minute. I turn back around to Christian and he gives an understanding nod.

"That's probably Taylor telling me that the kids have arrived safely. Earlier…. When you were in the bathroom – I called Gail and Taylor. They're watching our kids for the afternoon."

"I still want to see them," I interject, "We've spent the whole afternoon together. We need to see them."

"As you wish baby," he says with another kiss, "How about a quick shower first?"

Need pools again deep inside of me again. I wrap my limbs around him like a monkey and he carries me to the bathroom.

**I throw my hair into a wet bun, quickly wanting to get downstairs to see Elizabeth and Ted. **We've been cold and distant and I want our kids, especially Elizabeth, to see us in a much improved state. We aren't perfect, but we're on the road to get there.

"Ana," Christian says, pulling up his sweat pants, "Have you given a thought to how we're going to deal with the 'RC' situation."

I was not expecting him to say that at all. "I've met the ex-quota for today," I say, shaking my head, "I don't want to talk about him."

"Has Elizabeth mentioned him since that night?" he asks, running his hands through his hair.

"No." But I know she has wanted to. I see it in her expression that something seems off with her. I want to keep this conversation far away from my daughter. She doesn't need to know about my mistakes.

"But one day, all four of them are going to figure out that Mommy was married before she married Daddy…. And then they'll start asking why, and then when Elizabeth starts looking at the timing of when we got married to when she was born – she is going to see the differences."

I have thought about this ever since Elizabeth overheard our argument. When is a good time to tell your daughter that you were married before her Dad, and that she used to live with me and my ex-husband before her Dad knew about her? She will figure it out one day. Christian and I were married two years after she was born; she is going to ask questions.

"Can we just focus on the fact that you and me are on the right path now, and worry about Elizabeth later," I plead with him, "Just one thing at a time right now."

He nods, "Ok baby…. I can do that."

** "Mommy! Daddy!" I hear Ted's sweet voice as we make it down the stairs, "Where have you been?"**

Christian looks at me, and I see a smirk cross his lips. "We've been working buddy, where else would we be?"

We hug our babies, and I decide to get dinner started for my family. Gail stays to help me, reaching for things that are harder for me to reach with my large stomach. I am only five months pregnant (closing in on six), but I am much larger at this point then I was with either Elizabeth or Ted.

"What is going on," Elizabeth asks, "You guys look happy…"

I laugh, "Are your parents not allowed to be happy?"

"Did you do your homework?" Christian asks, "I can help you with your math…."

"Yeah, yeah, I have it all saved for you," Elizabeth huffs, shaking her Dad off, "So what is going on? You two don't look angry anymore." Seriously nothing gets past my daughter.

I lean over to kiss her forehead, "Your Dad and I are both onions…. We have lots of layers."

"Don't squish my babies," Elizabeth says, protectively covering my stomach.

I laugh, "Your babies."

"Our babies," Ted interjects, dragging his attention from his spelling homework, "Elizabeth and I are going to help take care of them."

"You can't take care of them," Elizabeth informs Ted, "You're too little for that."

"Yes I can," he huffs, "I can't let you take care of Alexander. You'll teach him girl stuff. He needs me… its important."

Christian, Gail, and I both laugh at their exchange. They've been eating up the title of "big sibling" up like crazy, and it has been a nice distraction for them while Christian and I have been so disjointed. Gail and I continue to make dinner while Christian helps Elizabeth with her math. She'll look up at me every now and then, smiling wide.

Christian takes a phone call and Elizabeth smiles at me again. "What's up with you…. Why are you so smiley?"

"Are you and Daddy ok again?"

I kiss her forehead, "Yep."

She nods, "Good. I like it when you guys are happy."

"Well, I like it when you're happy…." I tell her, "It makes me feel better too."

We both grin at each other, and I take in a deep breath. I don't like the idea of lying to my daughter but right now – I have no other choice. She won't understand, and she'll hate me forever. Let's hope the fact that her Dad and I are better will distract her from the biggest secret I'll ever keep from anyone.

**I slowly nibble at a few Gail prescribed cookies at my desk.** I am feeling better this morning – at least I hope I am feeling better this morning.I am really not in the mood to spend my morning in my bathroom.

I decided to fight back against all possible morning nausea, and head to work early. As I was leaving, I noticed that Christian laid out an assortment of items for me – including Gail's cookies, folic acid, and other vitamins that I have never seen in my life. It seems that while we are working through our issues, he will play the role of "over protective" husband that he always plays so well.

My phone rings, and I answer it immediately. "Anastasia Grey."

"Christian Grey."

I smile, "You left early this morning…."

"I needed to do some finishing touches to Milania's sale. J-Mart is an interesting client to work with…."

I gasp, "You sold Milania's company to J-Mart?"

He laughs, "Yep… I did. I needed to sign the rest of the papers this morning and America's favorite crap hole enjoys working before eight AM. And I took the kids to school while I was out."

"Well aren't you Super Dad/CEO?"

"Just trying to keep up with my Super Wife."

I smile into the phone, "Well keep it up. I like this complete honesty from you."

"I like the fact that you know everything," he says softly, "Listen, I know I've said this before, but I do get it. Finally. And I can't believe you've been so patient with me, and so understanding. If the tables were turned and RC was involved…. I'd be so hurt.… I'd be devastated. And you've even still let me touch you. You're a fucking saint."

"Well why would I punish myself?" I joke, "Momma is going to get what she wants… "

He laughs, "Well good…. And my offer still stands. Anytime. Any place, if you need me…. I'll be there."

"I don't believe that," I scoff in disbelief, "Are you really going to be in a meeting with a client and drop everything to do me dirty…."

"Your disbelief is making me hard…. Try me woman and I'll rise to the challenge."

"Ok…. we'll see about that."

**Christian **

** "Now I believe Mr. Grey that we need to put all of our assets into the manufacturing side. I believe that once we get this to the masses, we'll see great returns…." Baldy drones on. **

"The product is terrible," Ros interjects, "It's bringing the company down. If we don't get a better product, who gives a flying fuck otherwise…. Back to the drawing board boys."

"Mr. Grey," baldy says to me, "You can't be with her on this…. This is ridiculous. We've been pushing the product and it's been doing quite well."

Before I have the chance to answer, a text message slides across my screen – it is close to eleven in the morning and I am very happy to see this text message at the moment.

_** "Ok – here it goes. I need you. Badly. We're publishing an erotic novel, and well… I can barely keep it together for a regular novel right now."**_

__This might be the best fucking idea I have ever come up with. "Excuse me everyone, I need to excuse myself."

"Grey?" the old bald man snaps, "You promised to be hands on with my company."

"My pregnant wife needs me, so really – if you can't understand that then your company can go fuck itself. Ros will take care of you."

She smiles at Baldy and he groans to himself. Too fucking bad – I am going to go take care of my woman.

_**"I'll be there in five. Take your panties off before I get there."**_

__**I easily walk through the front door and past reception. **Everyone takes note of my arrival, but they are not who I am here to see. I move quickly and eventually find Ana's office. I open the door and close it behind me quickly. To my surprise, Ana is waiting for me on the couch – waving her panties in the air.

"You do know that anyone could have walked in here right?" I inform her, locking the door behind me, "Your door wasn't locked."

She smiles innocently, "Ooops…."

"What were you doing," I ask, moving across her body.

"Thinking about you….," she says, lifting her finger for my mouth, "You wanna taste?"

Fuck me. I take her finger in my mouth, sucking hard and biting down. She flinches, and smiles seductively. "What have I told you about touching yourself? I own your pleasure."

"You were taking way too long," she pouts, "And I didn't come…. I saved that for you."

"God, I'm married to a freak."

"Yes, Mr. Freak – you are," she says, pushing my head down, "I'm in need of assistance…. Lick me husband."

My head goes down, and she lifts her skirt up at the same time. I stick my tongue in between her folds, and the resounding moan makes me hard. I work harder, circling her clit with my tongue. Her moans and the little pulls at my hair intensify the harder I continue.

"I want to come on your fingers," she hisses under her breath. Fuck, her eagerness is intoxicating. I wonder if I left her here alone longer, stewing in her arousal, would she be even more out of control.

"Will it hurt the babies?" I ask, giving one last long lick up.

"No, Christian…. Please now," she bites out.

I do as she asks, working one finger inside her. I gently move in a second and eventually a third. She clamps down on my fingers, greedily grabbing for me. Her body bucks under my touch, and her moans are full on grunts at this point.

"Keep going," she hisses.

"Do you want my cock," I whisper in her ear, "I am so hard for you…."

She groans and nods, "But you can't come…. That's your punishment for lying to me."

"But what if I…."

"Go jack off later in the bathroom," she hisses, straddling my hips, "You earned it."

As she grabs onto my cock and slides down, I don't really argue with her. This is new for us – Ana being the one controlling over what goes on in the bedroom (or out in public) and I am not sure how I feel about this.

"God, fuck…. I'm so close." She is squeezing hard on my dick, and it is going to take everything to hold off my orgasm. She's right… these random hookups are hers. I can't come. I have to give her this.

"Come on baby…. come for me. You feel so good… you're the best to ever fuck me."

That has her coming within seconds, clawing into my neck as she groans loudly. Once her sex stops spasming, she moves off me and sprawls her long body across the couch.

"How do you feel baby," I ask, brushing hair away from her eyes.

"Much better," she says with a smile, "Oh god, I have the perfect idea." She grabs my hand, pulling me into a side door.

"I didn't know you had a private bathroom?"

"Hi, I'm the boss," she says as she begins taking off her dress, "You are going to finish off with your hand and I am going to help you get there."

I am more than willing to play this game with my little nymphomaniac. I sit down on the toilet, pulling my pants completely down. She is already completely naked, showing her pregnancy enhanced breasts and her soft bulging stomach. I feel myself thicken in my hand at the sight of her.

She moves closer to me, placing her hands on my thighs. "Do you want to see me touch myself or do you want me to give you a lap dance."

I slowly rub up and down my cock, considering my options. "God… that's like Sophie's choice."

She smiles, "Let's try lap dance…."

She begins moving herself on me, teasing me and taunting me with her naked body. I continue to move my hand as I watch her – completely intoxicated by what we're doing right now in the middle of her place of business. She would be the best stripper ever. She knows exactly what will tease me and exactly how to move. She goes from pressing her nipples over my chest and face, to moving her sex over my erect penis.

"You're so fucking hot," I groan as she continues to move. She sticks her delectable ass in the air and I move quickly to lick at her soft folds.

She jumps back, "You do that again and we won't ever leave this bathroom."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"We have to get back to work eventually."

"Who says," I scoff, as she rubs her sex over me again.

"People will start looking for us…."

"I locked both doors, everything else is semantics…."

"God, you are way too good at holding back," she huffs, turning around, "We will go back to work this century. No more playing in the bathroom."

She places her mouth over my dick and begins to move. My head drops back, and I allow myself to absorb the pleasure of my wife's mouth on me. Within minutes, I am coming in her mouth, groaning loudly. To my surprise, she quickly cleans me up and she puts her dress back on.

"What are you doing?"

"Remember – I control these hook ups. We won't be here all day…. It will ruin whenever I need you again," she says, turning for me to zip her up. I zip her up and she throws my pants at me. "Thank you for your service…. Have a nice afternoon…. I'll trust you to see yourself out."

My jaw drops as she walks out of the room. _What the fuck just happened?_

**A/N – That lemon originally wasn't supposed to be that long! Lol. Hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think. **


	48. Selfish

**A/N – Thank you for all of your reviews and thoughts on the last chapter. Ana is still in control, but now for different reasons. **

**I don't own FSOG. Please let me know what you think! **

**Chapter 48 – Selfish**

**Ana**

** I look across the waiting room at Christian and I want to laugh. **He still looks disheveled from our morning bathroom sexual encounter. I am pleased, I like torturing him. I liked fucking him silly, and then throwing him out of my office. When I lived with Kate the whore, she did the same thing to her "dates". I see why she liked it so much – it's kind of nice to have the power.

"Ana, Christian…. Dr. Flynn is ready for you…" the receptionist says, "Go on in…."

I nod, walking confidently into Flynn's office. Christian follows, grabbing my elbow as we enter and take our seats.

"Well hello you two," Flynn greets us. He looks between us for a second, and I think I know what will come out of his mouth. "Something is different…."

"God, you sound like my daughter," Christian laughs, "Things are different." Christian explains the whole Milania issue. He tells Flynn what Welch discovered, him selling her company off to J-Mart, and our subsequent reunion and make up sex.

Flynn's face falls and I have a strong feeling why. "You two are rushing into the make-up sex. This just happened, and I don't believe everything has been dealt with. I don't think you've made up the right way."

"Made up the right way?" Christian questions, "What? Is there a form I have to fill out to signal that we've made up the right way? That's fucking ridiculous. Why do I get to let you determine whether we've done this the "right way"."

Flynn turns to me, "So you still aren't angry? You still aren't bitter? You're totally fine with everything going on here?"

"She is fine…." Christian blurts.

"Let her talk," Flynn snaps at Christian.

Both men turn to look at me and I take in a deep breath. "I guess I'm still a little mad…."

"Tell me about it," Flynn prompts.

"I mean…." I take in another calming breath, "I stand by the fact that Milania was pure evil and she brought out the worse in him. She was manipulative and conniving, and she is definitely at fault here…. I saw the hurt in his eyes when he found out the truth and it absolutely gutted me."

"Understandable," Flynn answers, "But…."

I turn to Christian. I have buried all of these feelings for the past twenty four hours – hoping to not have to pull them out any time soon. I am just so sick of being mad at him. I hate being angry and I didn't want to do it anymore. I wanted to enjoy torture sex with my hot husband, and forget anything else is wrong with us.

"You lied to me and treated me like a child. It was the kids and me, and you were off doing whatever the hell you wanted without talking to me about it. And then to top all of that off…. You disguised our weekend alone as a way to keep secrets for me…. You set everything up to cover your ass. You didn't talk to me – you shut me out"

"That weekend at it's heart was a weekend to spend with you," he pleads with me, "The fact that she wanted to make that weekend the weekend to solidify the bailout was a coincidence."

"The fact that it was a part of your plans at all hurts me, Christian," I snap, "It still fucking hurts."

We sit in silence longer, and things begin to bubble. Resentment, anger, frustration – they all want a moment in the spotlight.

"You know, it must be nice to get to be selfish. It must be nice to do whatever the hell you want while I sit at home and take care of your kids. While I cook and clean and help them with their homework and deal with them when they get taken to the principal's office – I did everything while you went off and played Master of the Universe. It must be awesome to get to be selfish….," I continue as tears begin to bubble, "That's why I wanted sex from you even while I'm pissed as hell at you. I got to have you…. Get what I've wanted, and then just walk out – I wanted a chance to be selfish too…."

I stop talking and turn to my husband. He's looking at me, and his expression guarded. I don't know what he's thinking, but I pray that something is turning up there. I don't want to be ranting and raving for no god damn reason.

"I most of all hate that you couldn't dump her and choose me all on your own," I say after a while, "I hate that I am second once again…."

My tears begin streaming harder down my face and I can't sit in this room any longer. I stand up and walk out, feeling the sobs wrack my body as I slam the door behind me.

**Christian **

** "So…." Flynn says as he sets down his phone, "She is in the bathroom right now. Trish will make sure she doesn't leave."**

I nod. "Thank you," I choke out hoarsely.

"Are you ready for some truth?" he asks, "Because I think you need to hear it."

I snort, "Don't you think my wife has already spilled out enough truth for one day?"

He laughs, "Yes she has, but now it's my turn. Do you want to leave her?"

My head pops up in surprise, "No."

"If Milania wasn't completely evil, and if RC was still alive…. Do you think you two would still be married?"

"Yes we would be…."

"Why," he snaps, "She loved him. You keep choosing Milania before your family. Why wouldn't you leave each other to be with your exes? You obviously had a lot of feeling for both of them."

I shake my head – I see what he is doing, and it isn't going to fucking work. "Milania has always been a guilt decision. I thought I had ruined her life, I thought I sent her off a cliff of depression. The fifteen year old kid in me has always wanted to make things right, but I never really loved her. All we had was fucking and that kid we both lost. It has never been more than that."

"I see why you would risk everything for her when you and Ana first got together. You were still connected to her, your relationship with Ana was so new, and Ana was eventually caught in the cross hairs of your unhealthy connection. But I don't understand why you did this now…. why you would do something like this with a family at stake," he explains, "Do you want to divorce your wife…. Because I have seen plenty of cheating men act the way you've been acting."

"I don't want to leave her. I don't want her to leave me," I practically yell, "Milania pleaded with me for help. She was struggling. She was no longer able to support herself and her son with her dress line alone, and she needed an extra financial boost. I fucking sympathized with her – I would do anything for Ted and Elizabeth, and so I helped her out…."

"Did you think to check her financial statements? Her spending habits?"

"That was the point when I still trusted her…." I respond.

"And you hid it from Ana…." Flynn shoots back.

"I knew she would shit a brick. I knew she would get angry. And Milania asked that I tell no one…. She wanted to make this a private bailout."

"If she asked you to not tell anyone," Flynn responds, "Then why did this story make it to the papers?"

"There is only one explanation I have for that," I tell him honestly, "And that is that Milania Turotti is a lying sack of shit."

He nods, "Christian – make up sex and confessions from ex-lovers isn't going to fix this between you two. You betrayed your wife…. How will she ever trust you again?"

I nod, agreeing as he continues. "Even though I disagree with the makeup sex this early on, I do like that you've seem to put this in her hands. Let her set those parameters and you follow them to a T. You have a serious amount of making up to do. I don't want her to let you off easy…. _Anastasia has a considerable amount of mercy and goodness, and I don't want you taking advantage of that any more._ She deserves for you to make this up to her."

I nod and he leans over to grab his phone. "Trish, can you get Mrs. Grey for me?" He turns back to me, "I need to speak with your wife alone for just a bit and we'll call you back in once we're done."

**I pace anxiously around the waiting room while Flynn and Ana talk privately. **I feel like I am waiting for my death sentence to be handed to me. I am terrified to face whatever judgment they have come up with.

I get summoned back inside and take a seat next to Anastasia. I can't even hear Flynn talk to me; I am so god damn nervous. I look over at Ana, trying to pull out any clues from her demeanor that could lead me to what I will soon be in for.

"Christian…. Ana and I have talked. I asked her about what she really wanted from you, your relationship, and from herself. I asked her what she thought would really help her get through all of this and what would help her heal. And Ana…. Why don't you continue?"

She takes in a deep breath and turns to face me. "I need time. I didn't realize how hurt I really was until tonight. I just kept pushing it all away and kept a happy face for the kids, but inside I am still not ok."

"Baby…. I will fix this," I plead, holding on to her hands, "Let me please." A bad feeling moves through me. I don't like the look on her face, or the expression Flynn is making from across the room. Something feels off, and I don't like it. Whatever is about to come next, I know it won't be good.

"We need to take a step back, and you need to figure out if you love me or not…"

"What," I gasp, "I do love you."

"Then why am I always competing with her? Why am I always second?"

"It's me, not you…. I couldn't get over the guilt and I couldn't get over the fact that I thought I ruined her life…."

She shakes her head, "Christian… I need space."

"Ana…. No," I snap, "Please."

"Christian….. I want you to move out for a little bit…. Not forever…."

I don't give her a second to respond as I jump up. "Absolutely not."

"Christian," she pleads.

"You're fired," I yell at Flynn, pointing at him accusingly, "You've had it out for me…."

"You've done this to yourself," Flynn fires back; "I am just trying to get her to tap into how she really feels about this situation. Sex isn't a cure all pill Christian. She is hurting and she needs to take care of herself."

"I refuse to let us go backwards," I tell her, ignoring Flynn and his uncharacteristic arrogance, "Sending me away won't do anything."

"It will help me think straight," She responds, "When you were in the same house with me, I still couldn't see past how in love with you I am. I give and I give and I give and I still get hurt. I need space to breathe and to think."

"I love you…." I plead with her.

She squeezes my hand, "Then prove it…."


	49. The Verdict

**Chapter 49 – The Verdict**

**Christian**

** As I pull into the house, I turn to Ana.** After our heated argument in the office with Flynn, she has been quiet and pensive the entire ride home. I desperately want to know what is going on in her brain right now, but I won't push her. She has been pushed way too much tonight, and I can't imagine what her blood pressure is like right now. This fighting and emotional turmoil can't be good for our babies. Once the car is off, we sit together in silence.

"What do you want to do baby?" I ask her softly.

She takes in a deep breath, "I don't want you to leave."

Thank fucking Christ. I was hoping that the quiet peace of our drive home would help Ana to make the right choice. It is not just because I don't want to be kicked out, but with the babies coming soon – I can't leave her. I just can't. You cannot remove me from this house. You'll need the Jaws of Life to pull me out . I need to be with my wife right now.

"I don't want to leave."

She takes in a deep breath, "What if you slept in the pool house?"

"The pool house?" I ask in surprise.

God, I guess there is a bed in there. I think Gail still cleans it – it is rarely used anymore, especially during the winter months. If she needs room to breathe, I guess that's an ok distance. This could be worse – I could be out on my ass.

"Ok," I say with a nod, "If that's what you want."

"That's all Flynn wanted tonight," she says, still staring out the window, "He felt like you were seducing me into forgiving you and he didn't want that for me. He wanted me to talk for myself."

Fucking Flynn. I am still furious from our conversation tonight. He crossed a line, and we won't be going back. "It felt like he was pressuring you and I didn't like it…."

"I guess at some level he was," she says softly.

"Baby, look at me…."

She turns her face my way, and her expression is raw. I haven't seen her exhausted like this in weeks. So many emotions must be running through her tonight, and the babies are adding on to the stress. I hate that I am the source of her pain.

"Ana…."

"I don't want you to leave me," she blurts out, tears rolling down her face, "You can't leave me."

"Hey," I say, reaching for her hand, "I'm not going anywhere…. Come here."

She moves over the console and straddles my lap. The position is awkward with her pregnant stomach, but I don't care unless she is uncomfortable – I need to be near her. She wraps her arms around my neck and begins crying into my shoulder.

"Ana…. What is wrong?" I plead with her. I hate seeing her cry, and I hate that I am the root.

"You're going to leave me," she sobs, "That's what you want. You want to be with her. That's why you left me the first time."

I grab her face and meet her eye line. "I should have fought for you…." I say, emphasizing every syllable, "I should have shown you how ridiculous that thought is. I messed up twice, but here is my chance. I am going to fight for us like I should have done the first time."

Her breathing slows, and her tears begin to fade. "Everything I have ever done," she says softly, "Was out of fear that you're going to leave me - that you don't love me like I love you. _Tonight, that ugly insecurity reared its ugly head…_ I don't want you to leave. Please, don't think that I want you to leave for good."

"We do stupid things out of fear," I say with a smile, wiping her tears away, "Like fire our therapists and break his table…."

She laughs, "You'll pay him back for that."

"Well… before you recommended the pool house," I say, running my left hand through her soft brown hair, "I was going to recommend something similar. I don't care if you called the cops…. I can't leave you now…. or the babies."

She nods as I cup her stomach. "Let me prove that you mean the absolute world to me. Please. All five of you."

In a second, her mouth is on mine. I hold her tighter and she runs both of her hands through my hair to deepen the kiss. When she pulls away, we're both panting.

"Fuck," she sobs, "What are we going to do about Elizabeth?"

"What do you want to do?"

"This has been running in my mind for weeks…. She could react two ways – we tell her the truth and she'll either hate you and love me. Or love me and hate you. I don't think there is a third option to where she hates us both….."

I nod, "Yeah…."

"And it wasn't your fault either," she says, shaking her head, "But it will still look so bad…."

"How about this," I say, shaking off bad thoughts, "We changed her birth certificate so RC isn't listed as the father anymore. So…. we throw away the original…."

"We still have the original?" she gasps.

I nod, "I'll take care of it. As I was saying, we'll throw away the original. Then we'll just tell her…. I don't know. Mommy and Daddy weren't in the best place when she was born. We broke up and Mom married someone else. We both still loved her, and wanted what was best for her – but we just weren't able to do that together…."

"Do you think she'll take that well?"

"I think that's our best worst option."

She snickers, "Ok…. I can live with that."

"See," I joke with her, "I am much better when I am within touching distance."

She smiles wide and then leans over to kiss me. "Ok….," she says as she pulls away, "We can do this."

I nod in agreement, "We can do this."

**A/N – Alright, small chapter- I realize this. I don't have time for a big chapter this week (I work for a living – as do all of you. The ones who can work and write amaze me) but I still wanted to give you something. Emotions ran high last chapter, and I wanted something that dealt with reality once the emotional high was gone. THANKS!**


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